Hi everyone,
I (29F) have a coworker (32F) who recently moved to a new apartment. A few weeks ago, during a team lunch, she jokingly called me “lazy” because I mentioned I hired someone to assemble my new furniture instead of doing it myself. Everyone laughed, including me at the time, though I felt a little awkward about it.
Fast forward, she sent out an email asking if anyone could help her move over the weekend. She even came to my desk and asked me personally. I politely declined, saying I had plans (which I did, just a relaxing weekend to recharge). She rolled her eyes and said, “Of course you’re too lazy to help.”
That rubbed me the wrong way. I told her straight up that I didn’t appreciate being called lazy and that I wasn’t going to help someone who disrespects me. Some coworkers are saying I’m being petty and that moving is stressful, so I should have just helped.
So… AITAH for standing my ground and not helping?
Comments
YTA. Be the bigger person.
NTA, moving is not a co-worker level favor. The coworkers saying you should have helped should have helped. Personally, I would have leaned into the lazy joke, “Man, are you dumb, why would you ask the laziest person here to help you move?”
If your coworkers want to help, they can. You don’t want to, and you don’t need a reason. This nasty person doesn’t deserve a thing from you. NTA.
NTA. Your coworker is so nasty. Tell her to rent a U-Haul. And don’t talk to her anymore.
NTA. “No.” is a complete sentence.
The fact that she was rude afterwards just reinforces your no. Good for you for calling her out.
“some coworkers”
Sure.
lol NTA
The audacity to think that your unsolicited punch line cadaver would help you with anything. I hope her new toilet leaks.
NTA
Who asks their coworkers for help moving? Aren’t you supposed to have actual friends to help with that kind of stuff?
NTA, you know what else is stressful, working in an environment where people Encourage Bullies to be Bullies. It’s already enough like high school without coworkers who pull that high school bs.
What an outrageous ask of co-workers! Her rudeness when you turned her down shows you that you made the right decision. I would have liked at her like she is crazy. What has she ever done for you except insult you. Not the way to earn huge favors.
Does she not have friends? Family? Or, and this might be a groundbreaking concept, MOVERS?
I would sooner die than ask my co-workers to help me move.
NTA and she’s just plain weird. And also kind of a bitch.
NTA. You aren’t being lazy, she’s being cheap. There’s a certain point past which you stop doing back breaking labor for free for people that can afford to get professional help. You aren’t broke college students. And you don’t owe a rude coworker any non work related effort.
You gotta have some pretty serious main character syndrome to think your coworkers are an acceptable group of people to help you move at all.
NTA. Tell her that she is lazy for not doing moving by herself 😝
Helping someone move is like sex. If I like you and want to, then yes. If I don’t and don’t want to there isn’t enough money to remotely tempt me to help you move.
Who want to help a co-worker move? You see her enough at WORK!!! smh he attitude sucks entitlement eh?
NTA.
Next time she calls you lazy, call her broke. She could have paid movers if she’s too lazy to do the work herself 💅
NTA. That 1st “lazy” jab screams envy.
And who sends an office-wide email for moving help?
If you want to eat honey, don’t kick over the honey pot. Insulting people isn’t a good way to inspire camaraderie.
Your coworker isn’t lazy. She’s AMAZING. So amazing that she can surely do it all by herself. 😉
NTA. She’s rude and clearly not very bright.
Nta she can do it herself to prove she’s not lazy
Nta. Firstly You are not obligated to help anyone move. Secondly, coworkers are not your friends and so you have no reason to want to help them move. Thirdly. This coworker, in particular, is rude and obnoxious
Goo for you
You can’t insult people and expect help
She played the stupid game and won the stupid prize.
NTA.
I’d have asked if they were mad they couldn’t afford to hire someone else to do it and be lazy themselves?
Wow, what’s up with coworkers who say to help the people who insult
NTA
Document with HR the facts. Say you don’t want them to take action unless she does it again.
Date, She called me lazy in front of [ witnesses].
Date, She called me lazy in front of [witnesses]. I told her to stop.
Where are her friends and family? If she’s asking coworkers to help, that says a lot about her.
Next time she makes a “lazy” remark, say “at least I’m not cheap enough to make my coworkers spend their time off doing work for me”
NTA
If she is asking coworkers that means she doesn’t have friends to help. There is probably a good reason for that.
The other folks in the office who feel badly for her are welcome to help her move. Otherwise they can keep their opinions to themselves.
Sorry. 29 somethings guilt their friends into moving not coworkers. And after 30 you hire movers.
NTA at all. I would distance myself from this individual, and keep every interaction professional and polite. Nothing more.
NTA
It’s really not your fault or your business that she doesn’t have any close friends and feels the need to make that her coworker’s problems.
I wouldn’t lift a finger to help her. NTA
NTA
I don’t even help family move. You hire movers to carry it all. That’s what I do. I am not killing my back for a box. Mine or anyone else’s.
NTA
Moving is stressful that is why you get packers and movers if you can afford them. Why stress yourself out when you cha outsource it.
NTA – It’s not petty to expect to be treated with basic respect. Your coworker didn’t just make one offhand joke, she repeated it. Also, helping someone move is a favor. You are not obligated. No is a complete sentence and you don’t owe her any kind of explanation. And why would you want to help someone that treats you like that, anyway?
NTA. When someone ask for help, you are not obligated to help. She can ask, you can decline. They can help her. I might say though don’t ask any of them for help outside work. I’d rather pay than ask coworkers for help
First of all you are Smart not Lazy to have some one assemble your furniture 🪑 because if not done right it could come apart!She did help you With It! She is the one who is LAZY wanting Everyone to Help Her!
I would never ask someone I didn’t socialize with outside of work to help with something like that
NTA
Most people are smart enough to know that they should be nice to people who they hope will help them. This women is an entitled and not very bright AH.
Nta. What’s next?! Driving her to the airport?
NTA. Call her out on her crap every single time.
Good on you for calling that person out straight away
Moving is stressful, it’s even worse when you burn the potential people that could have helped putting it all on yourself because you’re a rude douchebag. NTA
Friends help friends move.
Not coworkers.
Never mind coworkers who call names.
Do you have an HR department?
Because all of this name calling etc is inappropriate.
And she’s spreading your name around in a bad away.
I’d end her career there myself.
NTA