I am getting married next month. My sister is one of my bridesmaids. She’s engaged to Mark, who has a large dog he treats like his child.
A few weeks ago, my sister asked if Mark could bring his dog to my wedding because he doesn’t like leaving him alone. My wedding is at an indoor venue with strict rules no pets unless they’re certified service animals. I explained this, but my sister said she’d feel bad making Mark leave the dog with a sitter.
I said no, and now she’s upset, claiming I’m being, heartless even hinted that she might not attend if the dog can’t come.
I love my sister and don’t want to fight, but I feel like it’s not reasonable to change my wedding plans for someone else’s pet.
Comments
NTA her and her fiance are ridiculous.
Your sister’s and her boyfriend’s entitled behavior is disgusting!
Yes
Tell Mark not to come if he can’t leave his dog at home, simple
Nta
I love my dog deeply but I would never bring her to a wedding especially an indoor one. If the wedding was outdoors, pet friendly, and more casual than formal, I can see asking you.
Does not have family he can take it to for the day/night? I have thought about paying a local babysitter to sit with my dog if I was away for a night if I didn’t have family.
Tell them it is the venue rules not your own and the venue will not bend rules for anyone.
NTA, it’s your wedding not a dog park. you already have venue rules and it’s not fair to expect you to break them just bc someone doesn’t want to leave their pet. if she skips your wedding over this, that’s on her not you.
NTA
He can get a dog sitter or have a family member of his do it.
The only people who should be allowed to bring their pets are the groom or bride. Obviously any service animals.
I think Mark does this to create drama between you two. This is an unreasonable request and he knows it.
If dumb sister sticks with it, disinvite them both.
Mark is likely mad that some of her attention goes to you and is doing this to put attention back on him, and take revenge on you for getting the attention he wants.
Sit down with your sister and Mark explain to them about the no pet policy at the Venue, let them decide if they want to come or not. This is your special day don’t let anyone guilt you into changing your vision just to make someone else happy or comfortable.
I LOVE my animals too but your sister and her boyfriend are RIDICULOUS. If the venue doesn’t allow it there isn’t anything you can do about it anyway.
NTA. Some people just don’t realize that not every setting is appropriate for pets.
I’m a life-long dog person – I’ve never been without a dog in my 42 years – and you are not the AH here. I love my dogs more than I love most people, but I also understand they are dogs, and they don’t belong everywhere. Nothing irks me more than when people have dogs (except legitimate service dogs) in places that explicitly say no dogs, bc the people who ignore those rules are always shitty dog owners to begin with, and they’re the reason people think dogs can’t behave.
Asking to bring a large, non-service dog to someone else’s wedding is insane, and being a baby about you saying no shows what kind of self-centered idiots they are.
NTA, and it’s not your rule, it’s the venue’s. You are getting married in a month, and it is ridiculous to think that your wedding plans can be changed with such short notice.
Lose their invitations in the mail
Nta boyfriend can stay at home
The venue says no pets. That’s that.
I’m that guy. I get it, I’m not offended. it’s your wedding. Have fun and enjoy it. I’ll send a present. But I like my dog more than I like you. I can just stay home for the evening and everyone can be happy.
NTA. Venues have rules. This isn’t up to you.
Who bring their dog to a wedding? Is he getting invited for the first time?
Nta.
Man D must be fire or your sister must hate confrontation. Wouldn’t be surprised if bf try to pull emotional support animal card. Not invalidating people who needs one but there are scenarios where the system gets abused. I would still tell them to stay home. Personally, I don’t burn bridges…I burn villages.
It’s your wedding even if you didn’t want certian children there you wouldn’t be the asshole.
NTA. This man child will either have to leave the dog home or stay with it. The venue doesn’t allow it either so your sister is out of line getting a strop on with you.
Tell them both to grow up and come or don’t. Either way the dog isn’t invited.
Tell him that the reception hall won’t allow animals unless they are service
Nta, kick her out wedding party/ disinvite her. She has zero respect for you.
I love my dog, she sleeps with me and I talk to her about we are leaving and be a good girl, etc. Yeah I’m nuts, but I would never ask such a thing. We just went to an outdoor wedding in California and drove there from Texas with little Lila. We left her in the AirBNB with my daughter’s little dog while we had a great time!
Your sister’s boyfriend has mental issues and your sister is going along with it. Ridiculous.
Mm
Does Mark take his dog to work with him every day, to his doctors appointments and out on every date he goes out with your sister? Probably not…he can leave the dog at home.
NTA. Absurd. He can hire a dog sitter. There must be times where he needs to leave the dog at home, what does he do then? Your sister needs to get a grip.
Who in their right mind would even think that is a reasonable request? Unless it’s a service dog, no.
NTA.
NTA. Why do people think dogs belong at other people’s weddings?
NTA. I don’t understand why she can’t understand that it’s not your choice of not allowing pets at the venue and that it’s the venue that has the only and final say on pets not being allowed.
Haven’t we seen this post several times already???
Wait sister isn’t married……
No one is this entitled. I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked and instead of saying no, your sister doesn’t want to disappoint him.
NTA, and you should mentally prepare for them to pull something involving their dog wearing fake service dog gear.
It’s obviously ridiculous, you should refuse and it’s great that you have the venue’s rules to back you up. Family can’t tell you to accomodate her because the venue, and likely the law, say the dog can’t come
If Mark won’t allow the dog to be alone, he should be prepared to stay home with his dog for years. He shouldn’t be twisting your sister’s wrist and forcing her to always be with him too. It’s not good that he’s demanding making an unreasonable demand to get her to stop attending family events
NTA but this is more than the dog. Keep an eye on your sister
NTA. The invite was plus 1 not 2 🤭. The venue has rules and you are held to them.
When i first saw this i thought surely this must be a service dog. Because that would be the only reason to bring a dog to a wedding. NTA
NTA, your sister asked and you gave her the answer from the venue. Venue doesn’t allow them to bring the dog, it’s not your rule.
If this was a service animal, sure, but it is not. It is a companion animal. It is super strange to be unwilling to attend major life events without your dog. NTA
Nta. Im also a huge dog owner. I try to bring them everywhere i can. But not into stores and such unless they arr in a buggy so they dont poop or pee on the floor. BUT, people have allergies to dogs. I advice anyone who enters my house that I have a dog in case they have an allergy. Your sister is acting so self centered. Im sorry you have to even deal with this.
NTA. Stand your ground, no dogs. I’m a tinge more worried about your sister. What sort of life will she have with that guy, always putting his dog ahead of logic and reason. Support your sister in the future, she may really need you. Congrats on your wedding!
NTA send her a copy of the venue rules, tell you’d love for her and mark to attend, but no. And if they show up with the dog, they are all 3 instantly unwelcome.
Practice saying “aww, you’ll be missed” and don’t stress too hard when others are upset they can’t get their way.
NTA. She’s completely unreasonable. They can easily get a petsitter on Rover or she can just come and leave her fiancé at home to care for his own dog if he doesn’t want to do that. It is just ridiculous how entitled she’s acting.
“I said no, and now she’s upset, claiming I’m being, heartless even hinted that she might not attend if the dog can’t come.”
Sometimes the trash takes itself out. It’s not your fault. The venue has a “no pets” policy. They could charge you extra for violating it, or shut your wedding down. Tell her it’s out of your control, and if they do try to bring the dog they will be asked to leave. If they decide not to attend, tell them you’re sorry they won’t be there, but you understand. You’re definitely NTA.
It’s not your decision to make. The venue has a ‘no dogs’ rule. If you violate the rule, you could be fined. If you want to be really nice and try to keep the peace, you could offer to pay for a dog sitter. Then there’s no way you would look like the bad guy here. Then, if they choose to stay away, when people ask, you can legitimately say you tried your best to resolve it for them. Also, ask your parents to intervene with your sister if that would help.
Your sister is ridiculous.
The venue forbids pets at the premises.
It’s not up to you.
It’s in the contract.
Only trained certificate working dogs are allowed.
Has nothing to do with your heart, have everything to do with legal binding contract you have signed.
If he can’t find a dog sitter for an evening you promise to not be offended by his absence (though you will probably will think less of him and her for this tantrum).
Nta
It’s not your decision. It’s a strict policy of the venue. If she wants to be mad at someone, she’s picked the wrong person. It’s not within your control and she needs to understand that and GTF over it.
Aside from that…. dude, WTF?! I am someone whose dogs are almost never alone but they know how to be because something’s they need to do sometimes, and that’s OK. It’s healthy!
They are being ridiculous with the request but AHs with the anger she is sending your way. NTA.
NTA….. You can’t change the venue rules. Unfortunately , your sister is an idiot, so you will have to be very clear and firm. The dog stays home , end of discussion. How they figure it out is up to them….. But her attitude also says, don’t be surprised if they bring the dog anyway , so have a plan for that too
Good. Let her stay home. Delusional.
NTA, your sister is putting a pet before you and that’s ridiculous.
Typically any anti-dog position gets a YTA answer. This is not one of those situations. Do these people just never go out?
Tell your sister you’ll miss her then. NTA
YOU didn’t say no!
The venue did.
Hold firm, give no more reasons, refuse to discuss it, and act as though nothing is wrong.
I own large dog that I treat like a child.
Your sister and Mark are being ridiculous.
NTA big time
Dump your sister as bridesmaid immediately, you don’t deserve the stress. Tell her you want her and fiance to attend the wedding, but without the dog. If they fight you on this, suggest the fiance may want to marry his dog rather than your sister.
NTA. No pets allowed. Mark can stay home with his “child” if he’s so insistent. Your sister is putting HIS DOG before being happy for and supporting YOU.
NTA.
I am a Dog Person. I understand wanting to bring my dog places. Well, it sucks to be me — and your sister’s fiancé. Dogs aren’t allowed everywhere, nor is it appropriate to bring them everywhere.
If she decided to drop out, LET HER. Don’t argue. Don’t beg. Don’t even try to convince her. Yes, I realize that she’s a bridesmaid — she’s using that to manipulate you.
Don’t let her choices affect your day at all… but do have Security to keep an eye out for someone trying to bring in a dog.
No is a full sentence.
Nta. They are ridiculous pple.
I love my dog more than I even like most people but a wedding is a no unless it’s your wedding personally or like you said a service animal. Ntah
u/bot-sleuth-bot
NTA-It’s your day, not hers. Tell her that she can come, but her fiance and his dog have to stay home.
So your sister is basically saying she may choose a dog over being her sisters bridesmaid??
That ultimatum would have been answered with a disinvite to whomever made it
Unless the dog is a service animal or part of your ceremony, they do not belong at a wedding. When my FIL got remarried, his now wife’s friend brought her tiny dog. It was fine, and an outside wedding, but it just felt unnecessary. Unless that dogs job is to keep someone alive it can stay home.
NTA. They’re going to be those jerks that lie about their dog to bring them everywhere.
Even if you said yes, they still can’t bring the dog. It is a venue rule. I would just stick with that. “No, you cannot bring the dog. I will not break the Venue’s rules.”
Nta
NTA. Who wants to bring a dog to a wedding. I think your sister’s fiance may need to realize that even fur babies need a break from their parents.
Tell her, I’m sorry you can’t come. Bye!!
Alert the venue: “A guest made a request to bring his dog request and told the venue prohibited the possibility. If he does disrespect YOUR RULES, to not disrupt our day, quietly have him turned back at the door. If he fusses, please request he and the dog go with your office. I’d suggest there he be given the warning police will be called, he will be removed, fined with trespassing if he does not peacefully comply. Hopefully this averts a scene and disruption to our special day.” Put it on the venue to enforce their rules. Let sister leave with him if she desires. They made their choices. You made your decision, as did the venue.
This is ridiculous and in your shoes, I’d call my sister’s bluff.
“Ok sis. I understand. I filled your wedding party position. You can stay home with your fiance and dog”
I do not have the patience to deal with stupid people anymore.
NTA. The dog isn’t a viable “exception” and… TBH Your sister is a bona fide idiot.
NTAH. Your sister’s being unreasonable. Let her choose: show up without the dog or don’t show up at all.
The venue has a strict “No pets” rule. That’s the bottom line. Doesn’t matter what your sister wants, what her bf wants, or really what you say. The venue says No.
If they are really strict, they could shut you down & make everyone leave if he walks in with his dog.
I am a dog owner… and I love my dog over practically anything.
But 1) I would NEVER expect her to be welcome in other peoples homes or at their events, just because I love her.
2) a big event with lots of people (strangers), loud music and drinking – that is no place for a dog, who will most likely be stressed out.
Who the hell would subject a beloved pet to this? It is selfish and not putting the animals best interest first – which is a pet owners job!
NTA. I treat my pets like family, because they’re my family, but these two are being extremely selfish, and unreasonable. “We’ll miss you” is the correct response. I would also give the venue a heads up that someone may try to bring their dog.