With work I’ve had a really busy couple of months. I have had exams from work for the last few years and this month I’ve had my final two exams followed by 5 essays I need to wrote which are 1500 words each.
I only have two weeks to complete these essays while also still needing to work full time.
As you can imagine it means I’m very stressed and burnt out as my evenings have been spent typing the essays. They’re due in Sunday and for the last couple of days I’ve been drained after work so I’ve just wanted to relax.
My girlfriend suggested us going for a drink and I explained I just don’t have the energy and I just want to sit and watch tv.
She suggested playing a game on the Nintendo switch or a board game but I just said again that I was drained and just needed a couple of evenings to relax and do nothing.
She said I wasn’t being fair as we haven’t had plans for a couple of weeks but I just pointed out that she knows how important the work is and that she knows I haven’t had any free time.
I mentioned the fact after Sunday I won’t have any work to do and that we’ve got plans for next weekend. She just said again that I should be open to doing something but I just explained again I’m burnt out and that she should be more understanding.
She said she wasn’t asking for much but I just told her ether am I. I said she is asking for a lot when I’m physically drained and have on energy.
AITAH for refusing to make plans when I’m exhausted?
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With work I’ve had a really busy couple of months. I have had exams from work for the last few years and this month I’ve had my final two exams followed by 5 essays I need to wrote which are 1500 words each.
I only have two weeks to complete these essays while also still needing to work full time.
As you can imagine it means I’m very stressed and burnt out as my evenings have been spent typing the essays. They’re due in Sunday and for the last couple of days I’ve been drained after work so I’ve just wanted to relax.
My girlfriend suggested us going for a drink and I explained I just don’t have the energy and I just want to sit and watch tv.
She suggested playing a game on the Nintendo switch or a board game but I just said again that I was drained and just needed a couple of evenings to relax and do nothing.
She said I wasn’t being fair as we haven’t had plans for a couple of weeks but I just pointed out that she knows how important the work is and that she knows I haven’t had any free time.
I mentioned the fact after Sunday I won’t have any work to do and that we’ve got plans for next weekend. She just said again that I should be open to doing something but I just explained again I’m burnt out and that she should be more understanding.
She said she wasn’t asking for much but I just told her ether am I. I said she is asking for a lot when I’m physically drained and have on energy.
AITAH for refusing to make plans when I’m exhausted?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Refused to make plans while I’m currently burnt out and exhausted.
My partner said she wasn’t asking for much and that I should be fine making so
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, u clearly told her the reasons and she should have seen that you’re busy & tired
You’re literally drowning in work and deadlines, and you’ve communicated clearly that you just need a couple of nights to recharge. That’s not unreasonable it’s basic self-care.
NTA. You know what your limits are.
NTA. Your girlfriend is like some people who I have encountered. They can’t seem to wrap their minds around the fact that someone can become so exhausted that they simply don’t have the emotional and/or physical bandwidth to even think about anything more/else than what they are doing at that moment. After a few hours or days of rest, said overly exhausted individual can recover that ability; but just not right then and there. Hopefully, she can learn to understand this; if not, you might need to (re)consider your relationship.
You’ve expressed your needs (multiple times) and she’s pushing back a little to bid for attention. You’re NTA but I also think within every relationship there needs to be healthy compromise, as your partner has needs too. Maybe you’re too tired to want to go hang out and get drinks somewhere. Perhaps you can gather ingredients and make a fun cocktail at home, just the two of you. It’s pretty low effort and she still gets the activity time spent together with you.
NAH, both of you want reasonable things, but I can see where your girlfriend is coming from. There are periods where jobs are more intense but cutting off time with your significant other entirely sends a message that they’re not a priority. My wife and I have both had periods where work is incredibly busy, but even while dating still found time for each other. Your not required to do the same but it wouldn’t be shocking for her to be upset about this
NAH
Dude, you did make a plan. Your plan is to crash on the couch and do nothing.
You and your gf have different wishes. Both of you are not gonna get what you want. That makes neither of you an asshole. Sometimes wishes are not compatible and someone’s gonna be disappointed no matter what you do without it being anyone’s fault. But in the end everyone decides for themselves what they want to do or not. You’ve stated what you are gonna do, so if she wants to get out of the house or play a game and not just crash at home she must do that without you this time.
I understand not wanting to go out. I don’t understand how you don’t have the bandwidth to play a board game with her but you have the energy to post on reddit and then argue with people who disagree with you.
If you have a partner or children, you have to make them a priority in your life. You are not prioritizing her. If she was insisting on a dinner out or a night of dancing, I’d feel like that was out of line, but you have literally chosen to spend more energy arguing with strangers on the internet than it would have cost you to play a board game with your SO. Do you even like her?
Since you clearly had some energy and chose to waste it on Reddit rather than give your GF the little bit of attention and time she was asking for, YTA.