AITAH for Refusing to Pay for My Boyfriend’s “Bro Night” After He Put Me on the Spot?

r/

So, I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for about a year. He’s super into his weekly “bro nights” with his friends, which I totally support. I usually just chill at home, do my own thing, no problem.

This past Friday, we were out grabbing dinner when his friends called, asking him to come over for poker and drinks. He said sure and then, right in front of them, turned to me and went, “Babe, you got this, right?” Meaning the bill.

I was caught off guard but figured, whatever, I’ll cover dinner. But then he added, “And can you send me some money for drinks? I’m kinda low on cash”

At this point, his friends were laughing and hyping him up like, “Yeah, take care of your man!” I felt super awkward but just said “Nope, I think you got it.”

He got quiet, paid for his half, and left. Later, he texted saying I embarrassed him in front of his friends and that I made him look like he “doesn’t wear the pants” in the relationship.

I told him I’m happy to treat him sometimes, but I don’t like being put on the spot, especially when it’s for him to go out without me. Now he’s sulking, and his friends are apparently joking about how he “lost his sponsor”

AITAH for standing my ground?

Comments

  1. joe-lefty500 Avatar

    Your reaction was perfectly acceptable. Your bf is trying to show his friends how much of a doormat you are. You showed all of them you’re not. NTA

  2. random_lady420 Avatar

    He is a joke…Run!!!

  3. Cybermagetx Avatar

    Nta. Anyone who does that on the spot to look better infront of their friends will be dropped by me. If youre that immature, youre not mature enough to date me.

  4. Slimzoe Avatar

    Nta. He played himself

  5. Regular_Boot_3540 Avatar

    What is he, your sugar baby? No way. He can pay for his own entertainment. Don’t encourage this scrounging/mooching behavior. NTA.

  6. Fit_History_842 Avatar

    If he wants to “wear the pants” he can start by paying for dinner.

  7. Sweet-Interview5620 Avatar

    NTA tell him he was the one who put you on the spot in front of his friends and it’s his own fault if it bite him in the ass. You don’t care who they think wears the trousers in the house but you won’t be forced into doing what he wants purely as he’s ensured theirs an audience. He could have hung up and then asked you but he didn’t so he’s got no one to blame but himself. If he’s that insecure that he feels his friends are judging your relationship over something so minor that’s his own insecurity and issue to deal with.

  8. Curious_Bookworm21 Avatar

    NTA. Hobosexuals are poor choices for a significant other. You can do better.

  9. Due-Aioli-6641 Avatar

    Haha. If he “wears the pants” shouldn’t he be responsible for funding everything? Aren’t pants wearing people the ones who handle all the money?

    NTA. Not sure what his game was, but good for you for sticking up for yourself.

  10. partyslims Avatar

    NTA – He sounds extremely juvenile, and so do his friends.

  11. AsparagusOverall8454 Avatar

    If he can’t pay for his own shit, he don’t wear any pants cuz he’s a broke loser.

  12. Only_Music_2640 Avatar

    Why are you with him? He embarrasses you in front of his friends, uses you as an ATM then berates you for not caving and giving him money. Does he ever pick up the tab?

  13. Knittingfairy09113 Avatar

    NTA

    This situation is completely a problem he created.

  14. Odd_Task8211 Avatar

    NTA. Just reminded him you are not his ATM and trying to put you in a subservient role to impress his friends just doesn’t fly.

  15. ohfucknotthisagain Avatar

    NTA

    Your boyfriend was an asshole, and now he’s blaming/guilting you for standing up for yourself.

    If this is the first red flag, you can have a discussion about mutual respect. If it’s not the first, ditch him.

  16. boundaries4546 Avatar

    It wasn’t about putting you in the spot. It was about him showing off that he can order you around like you are inferior to him. If he thinks treating his girlfriend like shit, and putting her down in front of others is a flex kindly consider getting a new boyfriend, yours is defective.

  17. whattheheckOO Avatar

    NTA, to him “wearing the pants” means being financially dependent on a girlfriend? I think that’s the opposite of what a traditional man is supposed to do. He embarrassed himself.

  18. lurninandlurkin Avatar

    NTA.

    Anyone who tries to make themselves look good by making someone else look bad is an insecure loser, for your partner to do it is worse and inexcusable.

  19. Mother_Search3350 Avatar

    Wear the pants in the relationship?
    WTAF? 

    Men who wear the pants in their relationship pay the bills, they don’t mooch off their girlfriend 

  20. Ms-Janet-Snakehole Avatar

    NTA

    He can’t wear the pants if he can’t pay for said pants.

  21. Jeralynsh Avatar

    No, he showed that he doesn’t wear the pants by asking you to cover him. He embarrassed himself, Ma child. You are NTA.

  22. Specific_Disk_1233 Avatar

    NTA. He made himself look like he doesn’t wear the pants in the relationship when he tried to embarrass his gf in front of his friends by trying to make her pay for his food and send him money.

  23. AdAccomplished6870 Avatar

    Ask him ‘So, our relationship is based on you bossing me around and proving to your friends that you are in charge?’

    Then dump him.

    He is way to weak to be 26. By that age, he should be happy to prove his manhood by proving that he can provide and be accountable, not by trying to dominate you. I an getting real loser vibes here

  24. Responsible_Dog_420 Avatar

    The gold medal level mental gymnastics required for this to make sense must be why mediocre men feel so entitled. NTA

  25. jamesobx Avatar

    NTA. Dude wants to wear the pants, he can pay the bill.

  26. slogive1 Avatar

    Why should you have to pay? NTA

  27. yogeofoto Avatar

    NTA. You need to dump the douche canoe who is willing to treat you like trash. 1 year can turn into 10.

  28. USCSS_Nostromo7 Avatar

    He’s using you. That’s clear as day. What happens now is up to you. Why do we keep dating men that don’t even see us as fellow human beings? NTA.

  29. Pegasus916 Avatar

    Dude is super super toxic. This is as good as it’s going to be. Ever.

    Google narcissistic abuse. Be safe.

  30. EffectiveSet4534 Avatar

    You’re literally dating a man baby. 

    NTA.

  31. RevolutionaryDiet686 Avatar

    NTA Good for you to show him that you won’t be railroaded into financing his bro nights. Tell him to stop trying to be a gold digger.

  32. Madmattylock Avatar

    NTA. Imagine wearing pants but having no money in the pockets. He’s lame AF.

  33. Gideon9900 Avatar

    NTA

    Asking a “sis” to pay for their “bro” night? And spur of the moment in front of everyone? That is so, “Not Bro”.

  34. chocolatechipwizard Avatar

    Why are you wasting yourself on this asshole?

  35. UnhappyJohnCandy Avatar

    Nothing wrong with asking you to cover a bill, bu his reaction is alarming. That’s a narrow-minded, misogynistic way of looking at a relationship.

  36. TearAble2923 Avatar

    If he’s 26 and needs money for a few drinks he should be going to a second job not out gambling and drinking w the boys. Time to grow up. And let him know “wearing the pants” should be taking care of his girl not asking for money 🤦🏼‍♀️

  37. theladyorchid Avatar

    You’d be the AH if you didn’t dump this user

  38. TattooedCandyQueen22 Avatar

    Sound’s Like You Need A New Boyfriend

  39. spartandan1 Avatar

    26 and broke. You may want to consider a new BF

  40. KittenBrawler-989 Avatar

    WTF? Why are you with this person? Seriously? He dumped your ass in the middle of a dinner date to go hang with his friends. That is so awful. Never mind any of the money shit.
    He dumped you for a last minute guy’s night. YOU DESERVE BETTER! The bottom of the barrel is better than this slime. He is black mold.

  41. NopeNinjaSquirrel Avatar

    NTA and well done for standing up to him. He was trying to impress his friends by humiliating and controlling you. Horrid behaviour, but hopefully he’s learned now that you won’t simply roll over and let him treat you like trash.

    If you had let him get away with that, it would’ve set a bad precedent, he’d have behaved like that every time his “friends” were around. I say “friends” because they sound toxic, their behaviour is juvenile and demeaning. Getting serious incel vibes. Be careful and watch out for signs that your boyfriend might possibly start buying into their BS, since he seems to value their trashy options so much. Make it clear that that kind of behaviour will NOT be tolerated, and you’d dump him before being treated like he tried to treat you that day!

  42. becpuss Avatar

    TLC No Scrubs

  43. legallychallenged123 Avatar

    Your boyfriend acted like a complete tool. He wanted to put a show on for his friends – in a way that wasn’t so nice to you – and you didn’t fall for it. Boohoo. He embarrassed himself, I guess? I’m unsure why he felt he needed to show his friends that he couldn’t handle his own affairs, but if he’s embarrassed by it, that’s his problem.

  44. Cheeseballfondue Avatar

    Lol, “lost his sponsor”. Guess you know where you stand! NTA, and move it along. This guy isn’t worth your time.

  45. Ok_Homework_7621 Avatar

    NTA

    He tried to humiliate you to entertain his friends and then sulked when it didn’t work.

    Please don’t accept that kind of relationship.

  46. rong-rite Avatar

    “The pants” should have money in “the pocket.”

  47. dell828 Avatar

    You embarrassed him because you didn’t roll over and just give him cash?

    He embarrassed himself by asking you for money in the first place. .

  48. KateNotEdwina Avatar

    He shows you no respect. Why did he have to embarrass you like that? Real partners do not treat each other like this. Have a good long think about this relationship.

  49. littlemissdizzy90 Avatar

    NTA. If he wants to wear the pants, he can start acting like a man and pay for dinner as well as his hobbies.

  50. lazypkbc Avatar

    lol him asking for money shows he doesn’t “wear the pants”

  51. Same-Department8080 Avatar

    Yeah, so now you have a look at the rest of your life with this Bro. Spotting him money so he can look good in front of his friends, phone calls and he abandons you, sulking when his friends make him feel bad…he’s a boy, not a man, and he sounds too immature to be in a relationship

  52. Good4dGander Avatar

    NTA

    Why is his ego with his bros more important than your feelings? A grown man would have paid for dinner as that was his agreed upon prior engagement, told his friends he had other plans, and not get so twisted about their teasing.

    You know why they’re teasing him? Because they know it bothers him. If he was a confident person in himself and his relationship then the words are just words. I bet he feels bad because they’re making him feel like he has to choose when you never asked for him to. They’re making it uncomfortable. What kind of friends do that?

    If he wants to continue his nights with his bros then he has to financially plan for them. Not use you as a purse. Definitely needs to treat you with more respect. Doesn’t sound like you treat him with less respect.

  53. Accomplished-Leg8461 Avatar

    We teach people how to treat us. Stand your ground.

  54. Current-Orange-726 Avatar

    NTA. You are so amazing for sticking up for yourself. He is a loser, and he was using you. You deserve better.

  55. No-Function223 Avatar

    Nta. If he wants “to wear the pants” imo that means he’s paying for literally every and never once would even consider asking you for money ever. He’s a pretender. 

  56. trythisoutchiki Avatar

    NTA Please say you’re single now.

  57. Foreign_Primary4337 Avatar

    Stand your ground. I’m proud of you.

  58. PlagueJesterX Avatar

    NTA. Men today have forgotten how a woman should be treated, and think that being able to do whatever they want is wearing the pants in a relationship. Being respectful to your lady is somehow looked down on.

  59. z01z Avatar

    nta, not your fault he’s broke. but it is your fault for dating a broke mf lol.

    find someone better, who has his shit together.

    and yeah, that bit about “doesn’t wear the pants” , well no, he doesn’t, if he has to ask you for money all the time. he’s not your bf, he’s your dependent, that you’re fucking.

    lemme guess, you pay most of the rent/bills too, right?

    how do women end up with pos like this? is his dick really that good?

  60. SusanAkita2014 Avatar

    NTA. You might want to reassess this situation. If he is running short on money and he is not spending it on you, he either needs a better job, or spend less money partying with the bros

  61. RaydenAdro Avatar

    NTA. He sounds like a loser. Are you sure this is the right man for you?

  62. Ok_Leader_7624 Avatar

    …because he doesn’t wear the pants! It’s supposed to be a relationship, not a dictatorship. He should be bragging to his friends that his gf has her own backbone

  63. grandpabooger Avatar

    Dump him as fast as possible

  64. Eatdie555 Avatar

    you bf deserves that shiet.. he weak asf too. lmfao.. sounds like a true clown follower of the hyenas. not even a leader of the pack of his hyenas either. he embarrassing himself. you didn’t embarrass him. that’s why his “homies” clowning on him.

    He was smart enough, he would just say “nah i’m good.. ya’ll boys go ahead i’ll catch up next time” .. pay for ya’ll dinner and go home. dudes doesn’t know how to live within his financial means. this ain’t even about you either.

  65. bazanambo Avatar

    What a dope.

    1 he’s disappearing at short notice
    2 he asked you to pay the bill
    3 he asked you to fund his drinks with his boys?

    What?

  66. d_piddles Avatar

    NTA, my boyfriend would literally never ask or demand money from me. I’m all for 50-50 and equally contributing partners, but it’s important for both people to respect each other’s money and not use each other.

  67. Aandiarie_QueenofFa Avatar

    Are you his mom or is GF? Don’t coddle him or pay for his stuff. He seems like he is using you.

  68. stellazee Avatar

    NTA. He doesn’t wear the pants, and he sure showed his ass.

  69. jackieblueideas Avatar

    “saying “wears the pants” is a breakable offense for me.

  70. Yeschef42 Avatar

    You’re dating a man child. I would never stay with someone who treated me like that. Period.

  71. aggiepat Avatar

    Screw the “wear the pants” stuff. As a man, I feel like that’s so demeaning to woman. More importantly demeaning to the relationship as a whole. It’s a lose lose.

  72. Creative-Ad-3645 Avatar

    Showing you’re financially dependent on your woman is ‘wearing the pants in a relationship’ now?

    As the young folks say, smdh.

    NTA.

  73. WillingCod2799 Avatar

    You are right for standing your ground. You also need to leave ANY man who thinks one of you “is wearing the pants” in your relationship. That is not the attitude of a mature or emotionally healthy person. I hope you are not living with him already. Seriously, lose him. Sounds like he was trying to show off who “wore the pants” in your relationship by pulling this crap. Say buh-bye.

  74. redbodpod Avatar

    How can you be ‘wearing the pants’ and simultaneously asking for money from your girlfriend. That’s ridiculous.

  75. Peetrrabbit Avatar

    NTA. He doesn’t own you, so not sure what his ‘wear the pants’ comment means.

  76. Nanabanafofana Avatar

    NTA. He put you in a spot where HE THOUGHT you couldn’t say no. What he didn’t anticipate was that you actually have a spine.

    I don’t know if this attitude has cropped up before in your relationship, but it’s a little too much alpha/macho for me.

  77. Abject_Director7626 Avatar

    NTA- wouldn’t “wearing the pants,” mean he pays?

  78. OkIssue5589 Avatar

    I’m sorry but I can’t get over the fact that y’all were on a date when his friends called him to go hang on with them and he said ok and then expected you to pay for his half of the meal AND also give him money.

    NTA but YTA if you don’t break up with this man

  79. Queen_Andromeda Avatar

    >whatever, I’ll cover dinner. But then he added, “And can you send me some money for drinks? I’m kinda low on cash” At this point, his friends were laughing and hyping him up like, “Yeah, take care of your man!”

    >he texted saying I embarrassed him in front of his friends and that I made him look like he “doesn’t wear the pants” in the relationship.

    So he doesn’t feel like he wears the pants when you say no but asking for you to cover dinner and give him fun money is fine? That makes no sense

  80. Broad_Pomegranate141 Avatar

    He should be embarrassed for asking you for money.

  81. ElRatso Avatar

    He’s a douche. Unless he’s paying for a weekly girls night this is him riding your coat tails.
    Next!?!

  82. dfjdejulio Avatar

    > …I made him look like he “doesn’t wear the pants” in the relationship.

    From my perspective this alone is grounds for dumping.

  83. Wynterborne Avatar

    I had a hobo sexual bf, unfortunately I was diagnosed with cancer just after we started dating so I wasn’t aware of his lack of employment and said yes when he offered to move in with me to “take care of me”.

    His “care” consisted of spending all day on my computer downloading porn, making me lay on a broken futon instead of my comfy bed because the computer was in the game room and my room was on the second floor, and occasionally asking for money so he could buy weed.

    Did I mention that he was so ugly that I wasn’t even attracted to him, but my friends guilted me into giving him a shot because I “shouldn’t be so shallow”?

    He played himself tho. When I started radiation and went back to work, I started distancing myself. I came home one day to find all of his stuff ( and some of mine) loaded into my truck. He told me he “had to get back to his own life” because I didn’t appreciate what he did for me. I called my best friend to watch my son, hopped in the truck and said “Yep! You’re right! I don’t appreciate you enough. Let’s get you back to your life!” He spent the entire hour drive trying to convince me to turn around and take him back. Spoiler alert- I resisted laughing maniacally and just told him I didn’t deserve him and he needed to get back to his own life.

  84. _hangry_forever_ Avatar

    NTA. It’s his own fault for going full on red pill in front of his friends.

  85. SummitJunkie7 Avatar

    Someone who cares more about what his relationship looks like to his buddies than what it feels like to his partner is not someone I’d want for a partner.

    It’s outdated and sexist and not a good metric for a relationship – but – “wearing the pants” means playing the role of provider. Someone who wanted to be viewed as “wearing the pants” in the relationship should be caring for and providing for the household, not asking his gf to pay for his drinks when they aren’t even together.

    And – the way the friends were joking about “lost your sponsor” makes me think it’s been a standing joke that you’re his sugar momma. He’s using you.

    I’d throw the whole man away. Good luck. NTA.

  86. Lovebug-1055 Avatar

    Have you ever heard the song “ you don’t own me”? You should memorize the lyrics to this song and live by them. Your boyfriend is an asshole and probably not boyfriend material.

  87. AustinBike Avatar

    NTA

    Please take him to a department store. Bring him to the women’s section and just stand there.

    “What’s this all about?”

    “Look at this, rows and rows of women’s pants. Now stfu about pants, ok?”

  88. SportTop2610 Avatar

    The saying Is stand by your man. Not pay for your man.

    Pa. Find a new man.

  89. Brilliant_Flounder59 Avatar

    You need to rethink this relationship. I think he thinks less of you and he only wants you for money.

  90. FrustrationSensation Avatar

    Wait, if they called him… how did this happen in front of his friends? This is not adding up. 

  91. Tine-E-Tim Avatar

    He wants to act like a big man who wears the pants in front of his buddies he can earn. He can be the one treating you and taking care of you. Until then, why not start treating him like he wears the diapers in front of his friends until he’s graduated to pull up. Cut up his food for him, pinch his cheek, ask the waitress if they have a plastic cup with a lid, ect. Bet you’d lose him but sounds like a win win. NTA

  92. rose_reader Avatar

    It is WILD to me that guys like this expect to be able to “wear the pants” in the relationship while expecting their GF to pay for everything.

    The whole man wears the pants thing in bygone times was because he was fully funding the whole show. Men couldn’t get married until they were earning enough to support a wife and family.

    But now we have this new generation of men who want to be the boss while getting a free ride at all times, the worst of all possible worlds from the female perspective. I’m an old feminist, and we absolutely did not see this hell variant coming.

    NTA, if it needed saying.

  93. SunMoonTruth Avatar

    NTA.

    He doesn’t “wear the pants” in the relationship if he’s got to ask you to cover him financially.

    Or does he think “wearing the pants” just means ordering you about or taking you for granted?

  94. Dewlicious_Cloud Avatar

    NTA. You mean, “his financially responsible girlfriend told him that he can pay his own way when it has to do with them.” I don’t blame you. Let him sulk. If he keeps up with the attitude, then tell him he can put them in their place or he can start turning gay because he’ll be fckng them because he doesn’t have a girlfriend. See which “bro” will bottom for him. You’ll be free for a guy who values you.

  95. dobie_gillis1 Avatar

    If he wanted to wear the pants, he would’ve had the money to pay for everything.
    Nta

  96. HymenBreaka Avatar

    It’s 2025 and your fragile man still tries to be the one wearing the pants in the relationship, laughable.
    Also, isn’t is more “wearing the pants” if he is the one to pay the bills for his woman? This is really twisted. If I had such a fragile ego concerning my girlfriend, I would probably insist on always paying and be embarrassed of asking her for money, especially in front of the boys.
    Definitely not the asshole.

  97. Zealousideal_Fail946 Avatar

    Congrats on standing up for yourself! His immature response is something to watch and maybe discuss when emotions have settled.

    Make sure he understands that he made you look small and insignificant in that moment whether he intended to or not.

    Your response was very mature…from an adult.

  98. Hefty-Bridge3242 Avatar

    NTA. I got second hand embarrassment from reading this.

  99. angel2hi Avatar

    NTA. What exactly does he mean by “wear the pants”? Just telling you what to do? Because I have to say, if he were wearing the pants, he could reach into his pocket, pull out his wallet, and pay his own way.

  100. MaxwellPillMill Avatar

    If your gonna wear pants keep a wallet in it bro. 😉

  101. ptprn11 Avatar

    How can he say he looks like he isn’t wearing the pants in the relationship while begging for money?!? Make this make sense

  102. Georgia-Peaches81 Avatar

    NTA. I can speak from experience, 5 +/- years experience, it will only get worse if you allow it. He may in private act embarrassed and tell you how hard it is to let you pay, but he’ll keep right on, then he’ll start asking to borrow money more often with the plan to pay you back… eventually. Before it goes any further, start holding him accountable. You got dinner, this time, but drinks are on him. And if he wants to go out with the boys, he needs to fund it. In this case, if they were going to play poker at a friends, he should be able to afford a 6-pak since you picked up dinner.

  103. Lonely-Chocolate2587 Avatar

    Why are you staying with someone who a) has no respect for you, b) attempts to demean you in front of his mates for a laugh, gets the arse ache when you stand your ground?
    He sounds like a user. I’d suggest you seriously need to consider if this is the relationship for you, or whether being on your own will bring you peace. Peace in your home and heart is invaluable.

  104. Rcbosox12 Avatar

    The fact that he ended his date with you for a “weekly bro night” tells me everything I need to know about your ‘boy’friend.

  105. Sufficient_Web7939 Avatar

    Honestly he could’ve had taken you to the side and spoke to you quietly asked nicely of course if you said no then he should’ve accepted it honestly it isn’t your place to cover his ass if he is low on cash then he shouldn’t be going out he got money he works if he don’t have the money then he can stay home he doesn’t need to put you on the spot your not the asshole you have every right to respond like that and him letting his friends call you basically the atm is mad disrespectful set boundaries

  106. piroglith Avatar

    Call LG because something’s wrong with your dishwasher

  107. great-nanato5 Avatar

    So were his friends there, or did they call? This is confusing because if they called, then how did they know you were out? If they “showed up” and then basically bullied you and made you feel uncomfortable, that would be a hard no thank you, and then he could stay with them. A phone call can be hung up on.

  108. MyRedditUserName428 Avatar

    If “wearing the pants” means your woman pays, your boyfriend is seriously confused. Does he regularly mooch off of you? I wouldn’t give him another dime. Sounds like he’s bragging to his friends about using you for money.

  109. sad-eggrice Avatar

    Lost his sponsor? Girl I’d RUN

  110. Character-Dinner7123 Avatar

    His friends are laughing at him for being braggart.

  111. natteringly Avatar

    NTA.

    Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who’s concerned about “wearing the pants”? if your (stbx?) boyfriend thinks he should be in a dominant position, it’s time to look for a new boyfriend. And trying to make you look like a doormat in front of his friends?

    No. Just… no.

    It’s great for partners to treat each other, and the idea that the guy should always pay is outdated and unfair. But that doesn’t mean it should be the other way round, either.

    But then, this isn’t really about the money, is it? It’s about the fact that he tried to make you look subservient in front of other people, and then got sulky and resentful when you politely declined to play that role. It’s about respect – which he doesn’t seem to have for you.

    If he continues sulking instead of apologizing for his behaviour, it’s time to find a new bf.

  112. Axg165531 Avatar

    He embarrassed himself, asking to cover dinner sounds acceptable if he pays for dinner regularly but asking for money from your gf and outright saying he’s broke is bummy AF . No your not an a hole because he is a bum 

  113. Cursd818 Avatar

    NTA

    He embarrassed himself. And frankly, in your shoes, I’d consider this a sign that this man is far too immature for a relationship. Do you really want to date someone who considers you an ATM that he can publicly denigrate?

  114. joesmolik Avatar

    No, you’re not and admire you for standing your ground. You were not responsible for paying for his Brose night and then if he cannot afford then he should not go out to put in terms that you will understand you are not responsible for his entertainment or is going out having fun he is I would consider his friends, self-centered, narcissistic, and sexist. I would seriously rethink your relationship with him for him even thinking let alone considering asking you to pay for his night out. You are the company that you keep in at 26 years old he does not sound like he’s either grown up or have any maternity to himand self discipline as in being able to afford his own night out with the friends

  115. Argi_ Avatar

    He sure showed them that he wears the pants by asking his girlfriend for money in front of them cause he’s broke! Hell yeah bro!

  116. theredditfile24 Avatar

    “Looks like I don’t wear the pants” gtfoh if he wears the pants he can pay. Shouldn’t blame you for it. Good job standing your ground.

  117. molliem12 Avatar

    WRONG BOYFRIEND

  118. wildcatvic Avatar

    If this was my husband I would’ve laughed in his face. If he wants a “bro night” he can pay for it. He doesn’t pay for my girls nights

  119. Total_Click_3023 Avatar

    Child man, loser. Red Flags are flying…

  120. SpitefulHopes Avatar

    Good for you, good friends will roast you a bit. If he actually feels bad then he should grow some balls

  121. -CorruptedSaveFile- Avatar

    NTA – You’re not responsible for his feelings towards masculinity, it has literally nothing to do with you– and he put you on the spot.

  122. Inevitable-Place9950 Avatar

    NTA. It was rude for him to make the ask for you to cover dinner in front of other people and then to tack on the request for money. There was no reason he couldn’t address either one privately and at least offer to pay you back.

    His friends being tools isn’t your fault either.

  123. Puzzled-Award-2236 Avatar

    All I can say is thank God you are not married to this HEman. GEEZ! How he appears to his buds is way more important to him than you are.

  124. Interesting_Rule3187 Avatar

    What country are you in?

  125. TootsNYC Avatar

    Wait a minute, he’s not making any sense. Guys who wear the pants in the relationship also pay the bills. If he has to ask you for money, both for the dinner and to be able to gamble at poker later, he’s not wearing any pants, you are.

    Oh, and the obligatory: “thou shall not covet thy girlfriend‘s money“

    NTA

  126. instructions_unlcear Avatar

    So he uses you for money, his friends know it, and they openly make fun of you for it?

    Fucking have some self respect and dump him.

  127. Summertyme_13 Avatar

    First of all, men don’t wear the pants in your house; you both have equal share of authority in the house, right? He put you in that position. NTA. He should agree to do things he doesn’t have money to pay for with his friends, or he should talk to you offline about lending it to him. If you were married, my response would be the same, only you’d be talking about your joint account and deciding as a couple if you have the money to cover it.

  128. flashtastic80 Avatar

    Nobody should be “wearing the pants” in the relationship, that being said…. IF he was the one “wearing the pants” why does he need to ask YOU for money?

  129. davekayaus Avatar

    You’ve nothing to apologise for. It was rude of him to put you on the spot to pay for his night out without you.

    An adult wouldn’t expect someone else to pay for him to go drinking and gambling. If his budget won’t cover it he can’t afford to go and needs to say that to his pushy friends.

    As others have said you’re better off with no boyfriend than this one.

  130. clipsje Avatar

    Girl, you wanna be with a man that treats you like this?

    Don’t think so. Drop his but to the curb. Disrespectful ass.
    NTA, because nobody should take this kind of thing from their partners. If partners do things like this, they aren’t partners.

  131. JJQuantum Avatar

    NTA. Bro nights are great but he has to be able to afford them. BTW, they don’t have to involve going out and spending money.

  132. Unfair_Fun_5713 Avatar

    He might not ‘wear the pants’ if he is low on cash or not supporting his own life style. That isn’t your responsibility! NTA

  133. Ok-Conversation4933 Avatar

    Tell him if he can’t handle his finances then it’s up to you to wear the pants. What a loser. Sorry, but you are dating a loser, and letting him show off for his ‘ bros ‘ will only get you more of the same. Tell him if he disrespects you to expect more of the same from now on. I, as a father of daughters both around 30, would have a personal talk with the boyfriend on how to treat my daughter, and they know it. My daughters wouldn’t be caught dead with a punk like that.

  134. Tired-DogMama-6262 Avatar

    I would kick him to the curb. If he sulking like a child well you will deal with for a life time. You need to move on. Find yourself a real adult male.

  135. mmmmmarty Avatar

    He’s trying to snap the whip in front of his buddies to look cool.

    Not my idea of something I’d like to deal with from anyone, much less a mate.

  136. Chaoticgood790 Avatar

    This isn’t wearing the pants. This is him trying to show off by showing he can boss you around

  137. MassiveLefticool Avatar

    NTA- I can’t really think of any friend group where getting your girlfriend to pay for you is not seen as embarrassing, my friends would be laughing at me for life after that.

  138. 000700707 Avatar

    Why do women stay with men like this? He’s a loser

  139. destiny_kane48 Avatar

    I’d have told him ” Haha, you think you wear the pants?” Then just laugh and laugh.

  140. MountainGal72 Avatar

    I’m ten years older than my husband, my sweet friend.

    One time, ONE time, one of his friends said that he’d found himself a “sugar momma.”

    He shut that shit down so hard and so fast there’s still the echo of a bullwhip reverberating hard somewhere over Nashville fifteen years later.

    Your boyfriend is an immature ass. You are no doormat. You are not an ATM.

    You are not an AH.

    Move on to the good relationship with a respectful partner that is waiting for you out there!

  141. GZBadDino Avatar

    NTA for your response. Yet, YTA to yourself if he isn’t an ex.

  142. NextAffect8373 Avatar

    I cannot respect or take seriously anyone that uses the term “bro night”

  143. Delilahpixierose21 Avatar

    Wear the pants is such a misogynistic point of view.

    The funny thing is judging by his own standard you wear the pants in your relationship because this Andrew Tate wannabe literally asked you for money.

    NTA

  144. Jynxette7 Avatar

    “Sponsor” is a good word for this. NTA

  145. Silver_Violinist_197 Avatar

    He would “loose his sponsor” permanently for thinking I’d pay for his night out. Girl get out!!!! You are definitely NTA

  146. mbazid Avatar

    Your boyfriend is using you

  147. FrannyFray Avatar

    NTA.

    You are setting a tone that does not allow for disrespect. Do not ever feel bad for that. Let him sulk like a little boy. Which is how he is acting right now.

  148. Ok_Waltz7126 Avatar

    I consulted the Magic 8 Ball.

    It said – Your future with this @#%^&& man-child does NOT look good.

    Second shake of the 8 Ball – Dump him, run, you’ll find much better.

    Updateme (on your final straw break-up)

  149. DaveiNZ Avatar

    A partner who thinks he should “wear the pants” is not a good partner..

  150. AntheaBrainhooke Avatar

    NTA

    Well done for standing up for yourself!

  151. WoodenInventor Avatar

    This is like asking your parents if your friend can stay the night, in front of said friend. That’s manipulation and needs to be shut down.

  152. japriest Avatar

    Your bf learned a golden rule: act like a punk, get treated like one.

  153. mela_99 Avatar

    Uhhh and how about he made you look like a doormat?
    And what kind of man has to beg for money from his girlfriend?

    Ditch him and his hoard of Tate lovers.

    NTA

  154. I_had_a_sarcasm Avatar

    If he wore the pants in the relationship he wouldn’t be asking you to pay for his drinks….