I (28M) planned a trip with my two close friends. We budgeted for a cabin, split three ways. My girlfriend (26F) asked if she could come along. I told her it was originally just a friend trip, but she insisted she’d “fit right in.”
When it came time to book, she assumed I’d cover her portion. I said she’d need to pay her share since we were splitting costs evenly. She got offended, saying, “What kind of boyfriend doesn’t pay for his girlfriend’s vacations?” I told her it wasn’t a couples’ trip, it was a group trip and everyone is paying their way.
Now she’s refusing to come and says I’m selfish. AITAH?
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Original copy of post’s text by /u/Hairy-Driver5297:
I (28M) planned a trip with my two close friends. We budgeted for a cabin, split three ways. My girlfriend (26F) asked if she could come along. I told her it was originally just a friend trip, but she insisted she’d “fit right in.”
When it came time to book, she assumed I’d cover her portion. I said she’d need to pay her share since we were splitting costs evenly. She got offended, saying, “What kind of boyfriend doesn’t pay for his girlfriend’s vacations?” I told her it wasn’t a couples’ trip, it was a group trip and everyone is paying their way.
Now she’s refusing to come and says I’m selfish. AITAH?
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NTA. She invited herself, then expected you to bankroll her. That’s not how group trips work. If she wanted a romantic getaway funded by you, that’s a separate conversation, not something she can impose on an existing plan.
NTA. Does she expect you to pay for everything all the time? You need to have a discussion with her.
Sounds like a win for you. Take time on the trip to evaluate your relationship with her because entitlement rarely goes away.
Are you kidding? NTA.
NTA and good. Because mate, she would have made your mates trip about herself, and you would have been miserable. Go without her.
NTA.
NTA. She should let you go with your friends and stay home.
NTA. Her not coming is the desired outcome anyway.
NTA. This is a guys trip, which, I assume from personal experience, includes copious amounts of drinking, smoking, poker, hunting, and/or fishing, and returning to your basic hunter/gather self.
However, your GF believes this would be a cutzie trip where you were going to be at her beck and call to go shopping, site seeing, romantic evenings in front of the fireplace while your friends made themselves scarce.
I would have told her NO on coming on the trip in the first place and YNTA for not paying her portion of the trip.
NTA, she sounds a bit entitled to assume you would pay her way. Does she pay your way sometimes? If not, you two need to have a discussion.
NTA. She’s entitled and possibly out to find an ATM. Watch your back.
If you pay her way, she will next be asking you to go to the car lot with her. NTA
NTA, plus her not coming was the initial plan so win/win.
So not tah!
She invited herself so she wanted to pay for the experience.
NTA. She is a sugarbaby not a partner, thank God you found that out now.
Nope. NTA. Your girlfriend is selfish and far too immature to be in any relationship that doesn’t include a trip to the prom. You need to do yourself a favor on this Friends Weekend and rethink your relationship.
What kind of girlfriend invites herself along on a guys-only Weekend Trip and then expects not to pay her way?
It’s not selfish, and it’s also no threat that she’s staying home. You need the space and time away to reevaluate the red flag she’s flying in your face.
Win win bc if I were your friend I would be pissed you don’t have the balls to tell your gf she can’t come on a friend trip
“Now she’s refusing to come”
Well done!
NTA
nta you should have stuck with no, because it’s a friends trip. If I was going on a friends trip and someone decided to bring their partner, I’d cancel. that’s not what I agreed to.
And I always paid for my own vacations with boyfriends. We’re equals and I usually made more money than them, too.
NTA for not paying for her, but you might be TA if you didn’t clear it with your friends first that she could come. She will throw off the whole vibe, not to mention could cause problems for your friends if they are in relationships and their SO’s get upset that they aren’t invited too. If your girlfriend is this pushy about you having time with your friends, and also expects you to pay for something she wasn’t invited to, this is your sign that she’s not the one.
NTA …. and lol 😂😂where do people find these twits?
NTA. She invited herself on what was supposed to be a friend trip. Unless if you spoiled her before wherein you pay for everything (trips, dinner, shopping, etc.) then I would understand why she assumed you’d pay for her. But still, NTA.
NTA, it was incredibly rude of her to invite herself and you should have said no immediately.
She sounds like a giant red flag. Her entitlement attitude is crazy
The pussy better be that good to tolerate that kind of bullshit. Even then you’ll still tire of it.
NTA, she is.
Sounds like a win. Well played.
Nta
Problem solved.
NTA – Is she really a necessary part of your life?
Everyone says NTA and I seriously think there is something wrong with the way people are dating right now. It seems like co-worker relationship vs partner.
Sounds like GF saved OP from the embarrassment of her hooking up with others on the trip since she would have been there as friend to all and not as his GF. That was close !
NTA – she invited herself on a guy trip,
NTA. However I would think hard if that is the person you want to spend your life with. She sounds extremely entitled.
NTA
Problem solved itself
NTA. She’s nuts.
Nta – she shouldn’t have invited herself. Pretty rude. What did your friends thinks of these changed plans? It’s not great having one girlfriend along on a friend’s trip.
Fake
NTA – sounds like the guys trip is back on.
The women I know do not expect boyfriends to pay for all the their trips.
She can ‘fit right in’, but doesn’t? GF is AH.
“What kind of boyfriend doesn’t pay for his girlfriend’s vacations?”
my response would be “what kind of gf invites herself on a trip where she wasnt wanted in the first place”
Problem solved
NTA. Yeah I’d say it worked out in the end. You didn’t want her to go in the first place as she wasn’t invited. So go have a good time with your friends. You might want to rethink your your relationship cuz she sounds a little entitled. I mean if she invites herself along this time. What’s going to happen again in the future she’s going to expect you to start paying your bills or something because she’s your girlfriend and that’s what boyfriends do. Yeah I wish my boyfriend paid some of my bills but till I moved in with my husband to be that didn’t happen. I still paid for it groceries but he didn’t charge me rent to live in this house which I am grateful for. But he’s always made more money than I have.
Sounds like you’re the wallet not the bf
Sounds like your problem developed its own solution. Enjoy your guy trip.
Nta
Boyfriends are not ATM’s. NTA.
Stay away from the childish immature gf . Making u life miserable.
Why did you cave in the first place? “No this is a trip for me and my friends.” Is an acceptable response.
Leave her behiiiinnddddddd
One thing here… avoid assuming things. It often doesn’t end well.
There seems to be a lot of missing info here. If everything happened as you say and your not leaving out major details, how are you wondering whether you are the AH?
NTA
Not only should she pay her share, but everyone should pay their share up front. Be cautious about anyone who expects you to pay for them.
NTA, GF invited herself on a friend’s trip, she needs to pay her own way. Good thing GF balked at paying for herself, now the trip can go as originally planned.
Use this time away from the GF to reevaluate the relationship with this entitled person.
She showed you who she is and what her expectations are. You created a boundary for this trip. Seems like you are getting what you first intended and should enjoy yourself. NTA for being upfront on splitting the cost.
I don’t know any boyfriend who pays for his girlfriends vacation …
NTA. Dump her….she’s a freeloader.
You’re back to a guys’ trip. Well played sir. Well played.
16 day old account. Only post. No follow ups on any questions.
Probably a bot
No you’re not selfish and honestly this can give you insight to what you both expect want & need from a relationship.
Well she is entitled you now know that
>What kind of boyfriend doesn’t pay for his girlfriend’s vacations?
Uhhh… why the fuck should you?
What a mooch. Can the hobosexual.
NTA
That fact that she felt the need to invade your friend time would be more worrisome.
NTA. What kid of person thinks the way she thinks?
I would say “What kind of girlfriend doesn’t pay for her boyfriend‘s vacation?”
NTA
She wasn’t invited to begin with. Leave her ass at home and deal with her when you get back.
NTA, she wants to insert herself. Boundaries are essential.
Neat, soooo you get a trip with your friends and your gold digger of a gf wants to end things.
Sounds like a win win
NTA Op
“What kind of boyfriend doesn’t pay for his girlfriend’s vacations?”
Tell her to go find a sugar daddy
>”Now she’s refusing to come…”
Problem solved.
Now you know where you stand. Your gf sees you as a piggy bank. Is this how you want the rest of your life to go? She will quit her job and rely on you for everything. NTA
NTA oh no she’s refusing to go on a trip she was never invited to in the first place
She invited herself to your friend trip and then called you selfish for not paying for her? 😂 I wonder if she’d let you go on holiday with her and her friends and if she’d pay for you NTA but she sounds like she is sorry
NTA and win/win. Your pushy, rude girlfriend is staying home now!
You lucked out! She sounds like a mooch.
Now she’s refusing to come
Problem solved. Next time, use your words when she invites herself places she isn’t invited. No is a complete sentence. If I were one of your friends going to this cabin and your gf showed up? I’d be pissed and you would be reimbursing me for my part of the cabin.
NTA
Now I’m assuming you and your boys were getting a cabin to get away from stress and to get a chance to relax. Your girlfriend sounds like she wouldn’t be able to assist with either one of those things. She actually sounds like she could give ibuprofen a headache. Now she’s decided not to go as if that’s going to be a bad thing. Drama drama drama! Have fun with your bros in the peace and quiet.
She thought she’d invite herself and that you’d pay for her to go on a trip she wasn’t originally invited on?
This is the best-case scenario because your friends didn’t ask or expect her to go.
This is a win-win. It’s rude to invite yourself somewhere, especially when all the parties didn’t originally agree. They were probably not happy that she was coming.
Oh the audacity. 😂
Just go without her and evaluate your relationship. This is just the tip of the iceberg
Her insistence on going and expectation you pay is concerning. You are entitled to do things without her. Sounds like it worked itself out this time but it may not in the future.
Winner …….and while you are away , check out he talent ….this one’s a leech
NTAH- She shouldn’t have invited herself on a trip she cant afford. THEN- to have the AUDACITY to try and gaslight and shame you into paying for it?!? Seriously?
How deep is this relationship? Cus if thats how she is, you may want to reconsider.
Better for you if she doesn’t go. Also if she starts acting this way now, imagine what could be in the future if you stay with her. She thinks she deserves that and that she can fit in, in any of your trips or meetings.
Next… is that the life u want with a selfish entitled person. She thinks she has the magic pussy that gets her what she wants
And they say there is no chivalry anymore and real love doesn’t exist.
Now you know your girl is a selfish little bitch, and wants everything to be about her1. Time to decide if she’s right for you, or if you should move on to someone better!
get rid of her. it only gets worse from here. she is an entitled kunt.
“She got offended, saying, “What kind of boyfriend doesn’t pay for his girlfriend’s vacations?””
One with self respect.
When vacation expenditures become an expectation and an entitlement instead of a gift, it’s time to reset expectations and re-evaluate the relationship
NTA. If she doesn’t pay her share, she doesn’t come. If she pouts about it, she doesn’t come. She sounds very entitled.
NTA. You just dodged an artillery shell with “PRINCESS” painted in glitter on the side of it.
She’s probably soon to be your ex-girlfriend, so I wouldn’t worry about it
Double win!!!
NTA and a good chance to set expectations and discuss couple finances.
You’re both around the same age andI assume both work. Probably best to be open about how you’re going to address costs for all types of things as you spend more time together
NTAH!!
She’s 26 years old, basically strong armed her way into a guys trip, got her way. But knowing that the expenses are being divided evenly, she expects you to pay for her. Then when you told her what the deal is if she wants to go, she had a “woman fit” and now pulling the “I’m not going” card.
(I’m replacing “baby fit” for “woman fit”because it’s insulting to babies)
What planet is she from?
To begin with, she is an entitled selfish woman. Seriously, who invites themselves to a trip that she wasn’t originally invited to? It put you in a bad position to have to tuck your balls in and ask your friends if she could go. Of course she doesn’t care about that. Then it put them into an awkward position. There is no way they could have said no, without it causing a problem for you, and any future plans. Plus, once their girlfriends find out, it will be a problem. They will either expect to come too. Or will lose their minds over another woman going, which will be a problem for them. But she doesn’t care.
I’m sure you know that your trip is ruined. Because you and your friends are going to have to cater to her needs and wants. So that means that any and all plans are subject to change depending on her mood. Hell just eating will be a problem.
So that trip is ruined.
But the best part of all is she expected you to pay for her no questions asked?!
I get so confused by women. One minute they are all “Independent women” they don’t need a man. They can pay for themselves. They can do anything a man can do. Blah blah blah
Then the next minute they don’t have class and force their way into a trip they weren’t invited to.
But the best part is she is so entitled that she automatically expects to go for free?? In her mind she believes she is actually right and you are a bad boyfriend who doesn’t take care of her.
In fact, she insulted you as a man. She basically told you that you weren’t a man because you couldn’t pay for her. Women love to do that, to get their way. Because they would rather insult men than be decent people and just ask them politely. Women of today just can’t do it.
It’s a good thing she said that she’s not going. But you do realize that she is still expecting to go, right?
As soon as you are getting ready to leave and walking out the door. She will get bat shit crazy. Watch and see.
I love how all women think they are special and unique. But they all do the same exact things.
Do yourself a favor and dump her. It’s better to do it before the trip. Because she is going to try to ruin it or make you miserable for going without her
Nta. I just wouldn’t let her go. Stand up for yourself.
Definitely entitlement red flags for the GF.
But OP could have avoided most of the drama by sticking to “no” as his answer.
OP, I sort of hope your friends roast you a bit on the trip about caving and agreeing to let your GF tag along.
NTA and now you get to enjoy your trip without here as planned…