My wife and I have been planning a vacation for months. We’ve budgeted everything, picked the perfect destination, and were looking forward to spending quality time together. Suddenly, her best friend starts hinting about how she’s never been on a real vacation and how she’d love to tag along.
Next thing I know, my wife is asking me if we can cover her expenses because she “can’t afford it right now.” I said absolutely not — it’s our vacation, not a group trip, and we’re not responsible for paying for her friend. My wife thinks I’m being selfish and that it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to help her out.
AITAH for refusing?
Comments
You’re not being an a hole at all!
It’s your and your wife’s vacation. Not one for a third wheel (and you’d be the third wheel if they both were together)
Your wife’s friend has no boundaries.
Your wife making out you’re selfish when she wants to bring her friend on your vacation… seems a bit much to me.
NTA. WTF to your wife! She and her friend are the selfish ones here. You just wanted a nice getaway with your wife.
this is your vacation not a charity trip. You and your wife planned and budgeted for this together it’s completely unreasonable for her to expect you to pay for someone else to tag along.
NTA. If your wife wants to vacation with her friend, they can save and budget for their own vacation. I can’t imagine paying for a friend to join a vacation.
NTA. So essentially, you wife is telling you she prefers to hang with her best friend rather than vacation with you. Does she have a history of demanding her way and being unreasonable? Why isn’t she paying herself if she wants her friend so much?
How did you get to the point where you’re asking this as a serious question?
NTA. First you said you saved for this trip so sounds like some planning was involved. Had the friend wanted to come she had time to also save. My bf and I went on a trip last year his two adult daughters and their spouses came guess who paid. They did. Next year we are going back because we loved it so much and my sister and her husband are coming guess who’s paying. They are. Unless you can afford it without having to save for it they aren’t your responsibility. And that’s only if both of you agree someone else can come. Sounds like you don’t want her to come on your romantic getaway and she should understand that.
NTA.
Look at your wife and ask her this: Dont you like being with me alone? Why do you need your friend as chaperone? What did I do to scare you?
She must have deeper reason why she doesnt want to spend the time with you alone more then being too kind for her own good.
Nope. She trying to manipulate your wife into giving her a free trip. Not today. Why would you want to be the third wheel on a trip your paying for. No her friend needs to start saving if she really wants to go.
Sounds more like she doesn’t want to spend time with you. Also if she is there you may get the I don’t want her to hear etc . Maybe just start paying more attention . Not saying cheating just not thst into you
Double “–“, it’s chatGPT made…
NTA, this was supposed to be a vacation for the two of you, and if you drag her friend along it’ll become a “girls week” and you will be the “tag-along.”
If you can afford it, and you would be ok with it, why not tell her that sometime you will gift her and her friend a long weekend somewhere for a girls trip.
Omg. NO, you are not. Your wife’s friend is a colossal AH.
Be kind and stand firm on NO.
NTA! This is your vacation with your wife. I bet you don’t even want the friend to come along, much less pay her way! Who cares if she can’t afford to go on vacation? That’s not your responsibility. Stand firm.
NTA, and tell your wife to cut the crap if she wants to stay married.
NTA she invited herself along and wants you to fund it? Absolutely hell no.
NTA. Both your wife and her friend are insane. Tell your wife if she continues to complain, she can sit home with her friend, and you’ll go alone.
Your wife was trying to setup a fantastic throuple weekend of inhibited sex and you’re fucking it up.
YTA for not picking up on that. 🤣
Pay for the friend but send her somewhere else lol
I want to be your wife’s best friend if you’re paying!
NTA. wtf is wrong with your wife???
NTA.
Your wife can pay and go on a separate vacation with her bestie if she wants, but neither of them get to hijack the budgeted/planned vacation already in the works.
The two of them are selfish/ridiculous for expecting you to go along with this. And let’s be honest, if you went along with this crap, you’d be fitting the bill to be third wheeling the entire trip.
Let’s be real here if she comes there will be a third wheel. More likely than not OP will be that wheel… On there own dime too.
If wife wants this she can plan and fund her own girls vacation
NTA bad enough she’s going too even worse you have to pay
This is one if the silliest things I have ever heard.
How long have you been married to this entitled woman? I’m guessing your wife doesn’t even work
NTA …. Too late now for a nice vacation, you might as well just let the friend take your place & plan something on your own
Nta her best friend better find her own person to leech off of.
NTA. If your wants this person to come along so badly, she can foot the bill for it.
I am over 50 and the only person I have ever paid to go on vacation with us is my MIL. This is when we do a family trip with my BIL’s (wife’s brother) family. And MIL would watch the kids when the parents want to go out. MIL would always offer to pay, but we would not let her. We still pay for her even those the youngest child in the group is 16 so no watching kids needed. MIL and FIL were super generous to the kids when we were younger. Fully paid for college and weddings, plus helped with down payment on first homes. Now we don’t let them pay for anything and pay for them when together as a group.
So veeeerrrrryyyy different from your wife’s leech friend.
NTA, tell your wife that after this vacation that has already been planned she can start planning the next one to include her friend as long as her freind starts saving.
NTA.
If wife’s bff comes along, you will be the 3rd wheel!!
You need to talk to wife “this was a vacation for the two of us to have timealong together….to re-connect. That will not happen if wife’s bff comes along.” If wife insists that bff comes along, I would cancel the vacation entirely, bc wife obv has zero interest in spending time with OP.
This sheds a light on who is more important to wife. Sit with that for a minute, OP.
There is only one way I would pay for the friends vacation, and that is if we all stayed in one room, one bed. Otherwise, no.
NTA
NTA. This will be a miserable vacation for you if you let the friend tag along.
Is she attractive? Offering a threesome? Otherwise NTA
NTA. The friend is not your responsibility.
Nta but I’d go about it in another way in that you are looking forward to spending quality time with her alone and you were planning something special wink wink
Or you can tell her that the budget won’t allow it
NTA. Time to suggest also bringing along the friend of yours that your wife likes the least, using every argument she has made to bring her friend along
NTA. Offer to take the friend and leave the wife at home.
NTA. You’ve made plans for a couples trip not for you, her and her bf. Your wife should understand your no and accept it Your wife needs to shut down the best friend when she brings it up.
Let’s say for ‘kicks and giggles’, you allow the friend to come. And you even agree to pay for everything. You will undoubtedly become the third wheel throughout most of the trip.
NTA
Do you and your wife OP pun intended. The friend can budget and take the time in the future to plan her trip. You are not an ATM so the friend can have the photos upon your return. Enjoy the time with the lady sometimes we are so wrapped up with work and life that we forget the important people in our lives.
NTAH – You are NOT responsible for your wife’s friends vacations. SHE is responsible – if she cannot afford one, then stay in town and vacation from home.
NTA….
Your wife and her friend might want to plan and budget for their own vacation at another time.
BTA in the slightest. If your wife wants to go on a vacation with her friend then they can plan one together and each pay for themselves.
NTA. I’d rethink if my spouse wants to spend time with me if he/she wants his/her best friend to tag along. There’s a time and place. Why the best friend thinks she can tag-along doesn’t give good vibes to me.
NTA – Tell your wife you guys only budgeted for two people to go on this trip but since she’s so insistent on her going as well then she can stay home and you take her friend instead.
Nope, just nope
Tell your wife since you’re bringing people who never had a real vacation, you wanna bring your Mom and pay all of her expenses too. See how that goes over. Your wife is being very entitled.
If you’re going to try to make a fake post go viral, you have to put at least a little bit of effort into it.
The absolute lack of details shows this is a lazy story.
YTA
Why doesn’t your wife want to go alone with you? Looks like she’s trying to kill the romantic mood/setting by wanting the friend to tag along
NTA, but your wife is.
If your wife feels that way about her friend joining the vacation, then the two of them can go together, and you’ll have a stay action at home and miss them from afar.
NTA. Just you wait until wife wants to make for her painting room in your house.
NTA. No is a complete sentence.
HOWEVER
If her friend is this much of a CF (cheeky fucker) you can bet that she’s actually already taking the piss quite a bit with your wife. I would be asking what your wife is covering for her already that you aren’t seeing. Is your wife covering for her share of other things from your joint funds?
She wants to be a gold digger without the sex. Wow.
NTA. Tell your wife you can only afford two people so you guess you and bff will have fun on vacation while wife stays home and holds down the fort.
Straight up ask your wife if she is trying to get a threesome because she keeps pushing you and you want NONE of this nonsense
NTA
Seriously. Wife, I get your friend wants to go. And maybe after this trip we can help set up a group trip or a weekend getaway for you two. This trip is for us two. I’m getting upset that you want to add her. She’s an adult and can get a second job if she wants to go on a ‘real’ vacation.
I’m not her sugar daddy.
Away with this made up pish.
NTA. But maybe your wife’s friend is planning to “pay” for the trip in some other way.
NTA. What’s the matter with your wife? Does she not want to go on a vacation with you?
If her friend really wants to go on a nice vacation, but can’t affort it right now, then the answer isn’t to blow your budget, but to make her own budget for her own vacartion.
Dude pay then it’s time for a 3sum
Is your wife having an affair with the friend?
NTA, tell your wife she can say if she wants and change her reservation for a time when her friend is able, you are going and not paying extra.
Absolutely not.
This reminds me of the post of the guy who wife wanted him to pay for her best friend’s dinner.
So is your wife looking for a romantic trip with a couple romantic options for her?
I’d do some deep contemplation of your marriage. That your wife wants a third party to join a vacation suggested a lot more than just her friend wants to get away.
Your wife is willing to sacrifice alone time, intimacy and will likely need to leave you alone at times so as to ‘be fair’ to her friend.
There is more here than meets the eye.
No. Ask your wife to use her slush fund or ask what she will deprioritize.
I’m your new best friend and I want to tag along as well. Btw, I don’t have much money so just let your wife know that you’ll have to cover my expenses as well 😉
How much are we talking about here?
But needless of that, NTA. Your wife pays from her personal funds or friend pays.
Tell her sure,
When did her friend become your new side chick?
Because you only pay for your women !