AITAH for refusing to share my health tracking data with my family even though they say it’s “for my own good”?

r/

I (27M) recently started using a health-tracking app that monitors sleep, heart rate, testosterone levels, and diet. I’ve been struggling with low energy, so tracking my lifestyle has been really helpful for motivation.

The issue is my family. My mom and sister found out I was using it, and now they keep insisting I share my dashboard with them “so they can keep me accountable.” My mom has this thing where she micromanages health (she once texted me 4 times in a single morning to remind me to drink water).

I told them no, that I want this to be a private journey. It’s already hard enough to stay consistent, and I don’t want to feel judged or nagged every time I miss a day at the gym or eat something unhealthy.

They argue that if I really cared about my health, I’d “welcome the support” and that refusing to share makes me look defensive, like I have something to hide. To make it worse, they’ve even compared it to when my uncle ignored early warning signs of diabetes, saying they don’t want me to “end up the same way.” My sister even said that if I won’t let them see my data, then I’m “not serious” about getting better.

Now I’m feeling guilty, because I know they care about me. But I also feel like my health data should stay private unless I want to share it.

So… AITAH for not letting my family see my health tracking data, even though they say it’s only because they love me?

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    ^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.

    I (27M) recently started using a health-tracking app that monitors sleep, heart rate, testosterone levels, and diet. I’ve been struggling with low energy, so tracking my lifestyle has been really helpful for motivation.

    The issue is my family. My mom and sister found out I was using it, and now they keep insisting I share my dashboard with them “so they can keep me accountable.” My mom has this thing where she micromanages health (she once texted me 4 times in a single morning to remind me to drink water).

    I told them no, that I want this to be a private journey. It’s already hard enough to stay consistent, and I don’t want to feel judged or nagged every time I miss a day at the gym or eat something unhealthy.

    They argue that if I really cared about my health, I’d “welcome the support” and that refusing to share makes me look defensive, like I have something to hide. To make it worse, they’ve even compared it to when my uncle ignored early warning signs of diabetes, saying they don’t want me to “end up the same way.” My sister even said that if I won’t let them see my data, then I’m “not serious” about getting better.

    Now I’m feeling guilty, because I know they care about me. But I also feel like my health data should stay private unless I want to share it.

    So… AITAH for not letting my family see my health tracking data, even though they say it’s only because they love me?

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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I might be the asshole because I refused to share my health tracking data with my mom and sister even though they said it was for my own good. I guess my action directly upset them, and they feel I’m shutting them out when they just want to help.

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  3. quincebush Avatar

    NTA Your mother and sister are clinically nosey. They don’t need your private health related data, they want it. If they cared about you, they’d respect your privacy. As for the rest, if you see your GP regularly answer have blood work done, all their “concerns” are bupkus.

  4. ThiefyMcBackstab Avatar

    Please do not give them ammunition to control you. NTA

  5. LilShir Avatar

    Do you live with them?

    It’s not their business. NTA

  6. Araveni Avatar

    They’re not doing this out of love, they’re doing this for control. Do NOT share your information with them.

  7. keesouth Avatar

    NTA. Do not let them guilt you into intrusive, controlling behavior. Tell them you are completely capable of holding yourself accountable and then refuse to discuss it any further. Tell them each time they bring it up you will simply into any conversation with them

  8. nim_opet Avatar

    NTA. You’re an adult. Unless you specifically ask someone for help, no one except you and your healthcare provider should have access to your health data.

  9. Fit-Refuse-1447 Avatar

    NTA

    You are an adult. Unless a court of law declares either of them to your guardian, they can’t make you to share anything with them.

    Are your mom and sister sharing their menstrual cycle data with you? If not, shouldn’t they do so to keep them accountable? If they do, yikes, that’s gross!

  10. sidewalksurf Avatar

    NTA. They’re using nice language here to disguise the fact that they’re being nosy and a bit controlling. No one likes a nag :X

  11. Dry_Cauliflower4562 Avatar

    NTA, but like and tell them you shared the info with a trainer who helps you at the gym, this way their arguments become moot. They’ll still be upset you didn’t share it with THEM, but hopefully it shuts them up until they find something else to nah about. 

  12. stiletto929 Avatar

    NTA. You are responsible for your own health, and having them nag you is counterproductive. Tell them that is your final answer and to stop asking. If they ask again or bug you about your health, hang up on them or walk out of the room. The conversation ends whenever they are inappropriate. They will learn.

  13. Bluevanonthestreet Avatar

    NTA. This is ridiculous. I saw the title and thought you would be diabetic or something like that. I do encourage diabetics to share their cgm info with at least one person because sometimes you don’t wake up to low alarms and need help. This is completely different! Your mom has some control issues.

  14. Trick_Delivery4609 Avatar

    NTA

    “sorry mom and sis. It also tracks heart rate increases, like when I am having sex. You absolutely don’t need to see that or ANYTHING private. If you don’t back off now, I will be going on a low contact approach with you. More infractions will make it no contact for periods of time.”

  15. Money-Possibility606 Avatar

    NTA, of course. Especially with how your mom is. And worse, she’s dragging your sister into her toxic health micromanaging.

    They don’t want to help you, they want to control you. They don’t want you to find a diet and exercise plan that you enjoy that works for you. They want you to do exactly the diet and exercise plan that they have decided is right for you (even though, from the sounds of it, neither of them are doctors or fitness professionals in any way, shape, or form).

    Don’t fall for it. You do you. They have no right to your personal health information. You are not a child.

  16. jcooli09 Avatar

    NTA

    I’m not sure why you’re even asking.  You have a much higher tolerance for family interference than I do 

    I wouldn’t even entertain discussion of the issue.

  17. Darkweeper Avatar

    NTA. Tell them if they really cared they back off.

  18. RubyNotTawny Avatar

    >Now I’m feeling guilty, because I know they care about me.

    In this moment what they really care about is control. If they really cared about you, they would want you to feel comfortable and encouraged, not judged and badgered and belittled. Tell them that the best thing they can do to support your journey is to back off and let you manage it yourself. NTA

  19. dearmistressbankss Avatar

    They are overstepping big time and it’s weird. NTA.

  20. Ok_Illustrator_7445 Avatar

    NTA. You are grown. You need to be accountable to yourself for your health not to your parents.

  21. Street-Length9871 Avatar

    NTA – they are not doctors (I assume).

  22. Mother_Ship_7913 Avatar

    Just keep saying no and I don’t want to discuss this again

  23. Some-Astronaut-6907 Avatar

    Solution is simple. Stop feeling guilty.

  24. owls_and_cardinals Avatar

    NTA, hold the line. Your sister’s and mother’s insistence on this is quite weird to me. Support and respect for you should come far above any genuine concern they might have that you would benefit from them having this data.

    Medical and personal data are PRIVATE. End of sentence. Especially when you do not want or feel you need their help, AND knowing what you do about their likely abuse of it, it’s crucial in my eyes that you stand your ground. Tell them you aren’t talking about it any further, if it helps. End any conversations that come up on the topic.

    Honestly, I’m distracted by their manipulation and level of insistence here. It’s… just kind of weird. Making you feel like you are failing simply by deciding not to give them access to private data is a special kind of controlling.

  25. StarshineSoul Avatar

    NTA

    Your family is being nosey and controlling. Sounds like you need to work on form boundaries here.

    Your mom sounds like a headache if she freaks out about drinking water like that. You can’t build a healthy habit if someone else is trying to control you

  26. lamaisondesgaufres Avatar

    NTA. You’re an adult. Just tell them no and change the subject. If they won’t let it go, leave or hang up.

  27. alexlp Avatar

    This is so odd op. My aunt and I follow each other on my fitness pal but that just means liking when we’ve recorded hitting a goal. Having actual access is a whole other level of over reach. NTA.

  28. SorryCity8809 Avatar

    NTA. This is a perfectly reasonable boundary to set and it’s disturbing that your family is guilt tripping you over it

  29. YetOneMoreBob Avatar

    INFO: Are either your mom or sister qualified health professionals?

  30. madpeachiepie Avatar

    Tell them you’ve deleted the app and aren’t doing it anymore. NTAH

  31. Old_Introduction_395 Avatar

    NTA

    Tell them your Doctor is the professional helping you with your health. It would be inappropriate for anyone else to intervene.

  32. RainFlames7 Avatar

    NTA. This is private information, and even if your mom and sister are doctors (i doubt they are, otherwise they’d be aware that medical records are legally private), and are currently treating you, this info is not for them to see. Also, you’re nearly 30, you’re a grown adult, not some kid who needs to be monitored by mommy. What the heck.

    Be polite but firm about this. “No, this is for me to monitor”. “Sorry, I’m only gonna share this with my doctor”. If they continue to bother you, be more curt. “Stop being nosy about my private matters”. “Im a grown man, i don’t need your help on managing my health”.