AITAH for refusing to share my table with a woman and her two children?

r/

Throwaway account.

Yesterday during my lunch break, at the busiest time of the restaurant, a woman approached me with her children and asked if we could share a table since there were no others available. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable sharing space with strangers, and she got upset, claiming that her situation was difficult with two small children. I’m not a confrontational person, so I tried to explain myself again, but that only made things worse. Luckily, a waiter arrived before the woman started yelling—because it seemed that way—and told her they already had a table for her. Before leaving, she insulted me again (in front of her children).
When I told this story to a colleague, she was also upset and told me I was an intolerant ass for not letting the family sit with me and she asked me if I’m child hater.

I don’t hate children but honestly I don’t like them. I generally avoid going to places with children or having any contact with them at all because I find them noisy and dirty. But it’s not like I’m rude or harsh when I run into them; I just try not to be around them.

So AITAH?

Comments

  1. Fluffy-Scheme7704 Avatar

    You got there first. She asked, you said no. End of story. She is the AH.

    NTA

  2. Background_Buy7052 Avatar

    NTA.  You had every right to dine by yourself.  Even if she was by herself. You would still be justified in saying no.   And obviously there was tables available as the waiter came and got her.  

  3. Impressive_Moment786 Avatar

    NTA-I wouldn’t want to eat with some stranger and her kids either.

  4. Scary_Sarah Avatar

    and then everyone clapped

  5. Beginning_Cut_8399 Avatar

    NTA.

    The mother is though. And she just taught her children to be too. People need to learn to accept that no is an answer, even if they don’t like hearing it.

  6. MarthaT001 Avatar

    NTA People with children have to wait to be seated just like everyone else.

    I could see her asking at a busy mall food court, but an actual restaurant is pretty entitled.

    I’ve had to wait for seating with small children at restaurants. It’s part of life.

  7. snarkycrumpet Avatar

    what kind of restaurant? proper restaurant, ntah. cafeteria you might be the ah. communal table hipster cafe, yatah

  8. Livid-Commercial-310 Avatar

    I will preface this by saying that I would probably say yes, but I have three adult children and have been in her place (though I probably wouldn’t have presumed to ask). However, I don’t think you are the AH, because she asked and you said no, and it was your prerogative. She is definitely the AH to get angry and insult you just for saying no — such rude, entitled behavior has become the norm.

  9. kmarshsc Avatar

    I’m right there with you. I don’t like sitting near kids in any restaurant much less sit at the same table with strange ones! Definitely NTA!!

  10. TSOTL1991 Avatar

    NTA

    No doubt her kids are angels. lol

  11. Justme-scotland Avatar

    Nta, it’s your choice she needs to accept that no is a full sentence and it doesn’t give her the right to be abusive towards you.

  12. Soft_Location_9088 Avatar

    NTA. I love children have 2, plus 3 bonus ones and have 2 bonus grandchildren and plenty of nieces/nephews plus some with them having children. I love spending time with them but sometimes I don’t want to be around them. I’ve turned down invites just to avoid going to a restaurant with neighbors and their kids. Sometimes you just need to be by your self or have a low key meal. With kids it’s sometimes not possible and being you didn’t know these people you didn’t know how they would act. Rude of her to walk up to a stranger and feel entitled to just take over a table.

  13. hdgal63 Avatar

    Honestly I am a mom and that is something I simply would NEVER do! force my children on a stranger trying to enjoy their meal… kids are loud and messy and can’t sit still… NTA

  14. WaryScientist Avatar

    NTA – she could wait for another table. I have kids and would never try to force my way into sitting immediately if there were no open tables. They know that eating out means sometimes waiting.

  15. FoodieQFoodnerd102 Avatar

    NTA, and the “my situation is difficult” over sharing a freaking restaurant table screams professional victim!

    Had you already paid for your food, like in fast food restaurants, or would the server bring your bill after like in sit-down places?

    Especially with tables available, this person likely has numerous ways to weasel out of paying, whether sob-storying you, slipping out and telling them you’re paying, or essentially dine-and-dashing, sticking the server?

    No, my experience is not as a thief; it’s from working in restaurants long ago.

  16. PonyGrl29 Avatar

    NTA. Teaching children to wait, be polite and not be an asshole are important things. 

    This entitled bitch failed at all 3. 

  17. AvaLLove Avatar

    NTA. As a mom of 2 kids, I’d eat in my car before asking a stranger to share their space with me. Good for those who aren’t social awkward with social anxiety, but taking “no” for an answer is definitely important.

  18. 74Magick Avatar

    Unbelievable. NTA

  19. serpent9393 Avatar

    NTA – Kids are the worst lol

  20. lrnjrsh Avatar

    NTA. I don’t want to share a table with any random person, but especially not two children.

  21. Gyorgs Avatar

    AI karma farming post. 

  22. LopsidedTranslator82 Avatar

    NTA. I don’t think that you did anything wrong.

  23. Ok_Seaworthiness2808 Avatar

    NTA. Even if someone who didn’t have children approached you and asked, you were well within your rights to say no.

    I wonder if part of this is a bias against people who are eating alone. I say KUDOs to you!!

  24. misteraustria27 Avatar

    You didn’t specify what country. Sharing a table is very normal in countries like Germany and pretty much unheard of in the US. So depending on the country there is a different answer.

  25. Ancient-Highlight112 Avatar

    Whether or not you like kids or not, you had the table first and were under no obligation to share it. So–not the AH. I would hate to eat with a stranger(s) myself.

  26. IllReplacement336 Avatar

    Just tell them you have COVID or some other contagious disease, and pray they are not anti -vax folks that Want to expose kids to it. Lol. Or that you have others meeting you soon. I understand sometimes NO is not the complete sentence they want to hear, but it was very rude of HER to think you should have to share your table.

    She should have arrived earlier if she needed a table so badly. Her issues are not yours, and no, you are NTA.

  27. HUNGWHITEBOI25 Avatar

    NTA

    Man i don’t understand what happened to the days where people were told “no” and DIDNT turn into whiny brats…

  28. Ok_Stable7501 Avatar

    I bet she buys separate seats on planes to save money and bullies people into movie, too. NTA

    And anyone who pulls this is not going to make for a pleasant lunch companion.

  29. katgyrl Avatar

    NTA. she chose to have those children, you didn’t. and your colleague needs to be reminded that even cockroaches are mothers and have children, it’s not special.

  30. Queen_B84 Avatar

    Imagine it this way: if you were sitting in your car and she opened the door and asked you to give her a ride, you would say no. She’d complain “But you have all these extra seats and I have two small children so my situation is difficult.” You try to explain yourself and she gets confrontational. A police officer finally walks up and tells her there’s a bus coming and she needs to leave you alone. See – when you put the same story in a different setting, you’re still not at fault in either one.

    You’re not required to make yourself uncomfortable to make a stranger happy. Very strong NTA.

  31. JJQuantum Avatar

    NTA. Having children doesn’t entitle her to share a table with you. That’s her problem with which to deal, not yours.

  32. Effective-Bicycle140 Avatar

    It’s a restaurant she has to wait for table like everybody else. She just can’t seat herself. And who wants to sit with someone’s small children. Definitely won’t enjoy the meal. If the mother is so rude then the kids probably are too

  33. olagorie Avatar

    NTA

    She was way out of line not to accept you no.

    Most of the time, I don’t mind sharing. But I’d say it depends on my mood and the circumstances. Sometimes I just want to eat in peace. And that’s fine.

  34. Southern_Dig_9460 Avatar

    I probably would let them. But the mother acting ridiculous infront if her children is wild

  35. Grim_Reaper_199 Avatar

    NTA, but I would probably say different country different lifestyle.

    I’ve had to share a table with people/children before during busy hours with no issues. I guess we’re just super chill in my country 😅

  36. JanetInSpain Avatar

    NTA you had a right to dine in peace. Not your kids, not your problem. Don’t explain yourself again next time. Just say, “Sorry, no. I don’t share tables.” Your coworker is the ass, not you. Tell your coworker to go fuck herself. There’s no way in hell I’d take my one bit of peace during the workday and let some rando stranger plunk two bratleys down at my table.

  37. Ginger630 Avatar

    NTA! She just didn’t want to wait until a table opened up for her. I have three kids and I would never ask to join someone’s table. How entitled.

  38. Interesting_Claim414 Avatar

    If it’s waiter service you get the table, 100 percent of the table, even if it has five empty seats. If it’s a fast food place or a Starbucks, you should share if they are on one side and you are on the other.

  39. adult_child86 Avatar

    NTA she never should have had the chance to even ask you

  40. Winter-Yoghurt-9870 Avatar

    NTA. We need to stop enabling entitled people, especially those who use their kids as guilt tripping tools.

  41. Arabella_moonbeam Avatar

    NTA, if i’m sitting at a table along, it might be because I prefer sitting alone. I have children and grandchildren and I would still be comfortable saying no, because I want to be alone. And I don’t owe anyone an explanation for that.

  42. No-End3167 Avatar

    NTA. I’m judging under an assumption you weren’t in Germany or another country where sharing tables is the norm, weren’t at a communal table bbq, weren’t at the county fair, etc.

    Plus, if the waiter arrived to tell her her table was ready then she’s the impatient entitled AH.

  43. Scruffy42 Avatar

    She was probably legit, but I swear that any time someone asks you for a special favor, that’s only step one.

    Suddenly it’s… I’ll be right back, and …. here’s your families bill sir.

  44. Vegoia2 Avatar

    your co worker is just contrary, has nothing to do with the imposition, she couldnt let a dig at you go.

  45. Opening_Variation952 Avatar

    She came at a busy time as did you. She could’ve went elsewhere. And if one has kids, one needs to pack a snack.
    I get it about other people’s kids. When before my kids and since after my kids, we ask for a non family part of a restaurant. When I had kids, they were good in restaurants but i understood.
    We have gotten up and moved to a different seating when people with misbehaving kids sit right next to or behind us. It’s expensive to eat out, and I’m not there to tolerate a kid kicking my seat or dropping food on me as they hang over the booth.
    No. NTA.

  46. jgai Avatar

    Some parents are so entitled.

  47. tranquildude Avatar

    You didn’t have to share, or you could have added to the kindness is the world. You choose not to. NTA but not kind.

  48. Wild_Ad7448 Avatar

    I have four kids and eight little grandchildren. I love them all and I love going out to restaurants with them because they behave just like we taught our kids to behave in restaurants. But other peoples’ kids? No. And I bet those kids were just as unpleasant as their mother.

  49. Pass_TheTalkingStick Avatar

    NTA. It’s not a lifeboat on a sinking ship. This woman can wait her turn. It’s shameful that she’s using her children to manipulate others.

  50. ButterscotchIll1523 Avatar

    NTA I would have said no as well. You don’t know how those kids will behave. Yesterday I was having lunch in a restaurant by myself and right across from me a woman and a three-year-old. We’re having lunch. She was standing on the seat and jumping on the table and jumping to the seat. When her mom told her to stop, she stood on the seat and took 1 foot and kept stopping on the table and screaming no. Stuff like this happened through the whole lunch. It was really obnoxious. I would not want to sit with that.

  51. zeropositive1 Avatar

    NTA if you don’t feel comfortable she should respect that and leave you alone. Simple as that. No need to verbally abuse you either infront of her children. That sets a bad example infront of her children.

  52. bluemoonmel Avatar

    It’s always weird to me when someone asks a yes or no question and then gets super rude and just awful when they get the no. 1. Prepare yourself for either answer before opening your mouth and 2. Where do you think being insulting is going to get you? Now I really don’t want you to sit with me.
    Honestly, I am petty enough that I would have followed up her rudeness with a “Hey, you’re right. Your rudeness and insulting me in front of your children convinced me. Please join me so we can discuss further how I’m a worthless piece of garbage because I didn’t immediately give you what you asked for while we eat!”

    NTA and grow up people, it’s an inconvenience, not an invitation to show the worst side of your personality to the world.

  53. cheeznricee Avatar

    NTA what??? As someone with kids it baffles me how entitled some people can be just because they have children! You owed her nothing and did nothing wrong. Clearly she has no idea how a restaurant works. You are entitled to your space OP

  54. hobbycollector Avatar

    NTA, child haters are people too.

  55. family_black_sheep Avatar

    As a mother of three young children, NTA. I don’t know why some parents think they’re entitled to whatever they want because they have children. That’s not how the world works.

    Good for you for sticking up for yourself.

  56. _gadget_girl Avatar

    NTA You were there first, and it’s pretty disruptive to go from eating by yourself, and probably scrolling through something interesting on your phone, to sharing a table with someone with two small kids. It also sounds like this wasn’t so much of a dire situation with an extremely long wait, as much as it was using the kids as an excuse to justify an inability to wait even a short period of time for a table.

  57. Purlz1st Avatar

    Two-top or four-top?

  58. _ROBIN_SAGE_ Avatar

    Regular restaurant? NTA. Food-court type place with large communal tables meant to be shared? YMBTAH.. M=might.
    Depending on the age of the kids I might not have wanted to deal with them either, but if it was a communal type situation I’d probably have just either A. Let them sit with me and dealt with it or ate faster if the kids were obnoxious or B. Given them the table and bailed

    Regular restaurant? I want to say “Wait for your own damn table, you’re not entitled to mine… “ but I know I’m too nice and would just let them join if it were me, but I can see how lots of people would not feel the same way…. It would be an extremely entitled position for her to get pissed at you in a regular restaurant though.

  59. GellyG42 Avatar

    NTA

    I have kids and I work with kids but if given the choice I’d have said no too tbh.

    You’re allowed to enjoy your meal without a stranger and her small children infringing on it

  60. JicamaAgitated8777 Avatar

    You mean you don’t have children? That automatically means you need to succumb to the wants of anyone WITH children /s

  61. Head_Trick_9932 Avatar

    NTA

    I’m the type that will share a communal table but many aren’t and that’s OK. It’s not your obligation to.

  62. Electrical_Welder205 Avatar

    NTA. The way I read the story, there already was a table for her, anyway. She was maybe too impatient to wait while the waiter got it ready for her. Or maybe she was trying to flirt with you? lol. Who knows, but it sounds like she was a bit “off” anyway. 

    She really had no business going hunting for a table. That’s the wait staff’s job. I’d mention this to the manager, and suggest they put up a sign saying, “please wait to be seated”.  That’s supposed to prevent the exact situation you found yourself in.

  63. Winter-eyed Avatar

    You aren’t obligated to share a table with anyone.

  64. goatmuncher4fun Avatar

    🤣🤣 Reddit cracks me up

  65. sistaneets Avatar

    Thank you for actually stating you don’t like kids without calling them Crotch Goblins!

  66. frimrussiawithlove85 Avatar

    I have two small children and what that mom did is beyond rude. We all have to wait to be seated at a restaurant you’re not special just cause you have kids. NTA

  67. AsparagusFeeling4225 Avatar

    No way. Especially since Covid that’s always a good excuse. I still like 6 feet between me and strangers. I don’t need your germs.

  68. bigkimnyc Avatar

    YTA. If you were alone taking up a table for 4 and wouldn’t share, you are definitely the AH.

  69. MindYoSelfB Avatar

    NTA – I have grown kids and grandkids and I would never ask someone to share a table. If I am dining alone, I prefer a book and headphones.

  70. Poinsettia917 Avatar

    NTA Her lack of birth control is not your issue. She probably should have been told to leave at that point.

  71. kae0603 Avatar

    NTA it was your table

  72. alohazendo Avatar

    NTA. There’s a weird sense of entitlement that often comes with parenthood. It’s awesome if someone generously gives something up for people under stress, the way parents often are, but no one has a responsibility to do so. In the end, having children is a choice. It’s not any individual’s job, who wasn’t involved in making those choices, to alleviate the consequences.

  73. rjsmith21 Avatar

    Seems like you made the right choice. It’s okay to ask but this person felt entitled. No point trying to explain yourself when someone doesn’t want to even listen.

    Any who is this judgemental colleague? I wouldn’t share any stories with this person anymore.

  74. Open-Sector2341 Avatar

    I would have just complained to the manager or walked out with my food in takeout. I am a mum and I am still not sharing a table with strangers

  75. EmryMG Avatar

    Certainly not an AH, just kinda rude.

  76. nylondragon64 Avatar

    Nta. She can wait for a table just like everyone else. And no I want peice when I eat. Don’t want small kids ruining my meal.

  77. Zestyclose_Public_47 Avatar

    Didn’t somebody already post this story?

  78. mcindy28 Avatar

    NTA She asked you answered. She was rude and entitled and had her own table anyway. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad.

  79. ObjectivePilot7444 Avatar

    NTA and I have 2 grown kids and often had to wait for a table or take our food to go and eat it outside

  80. HollyHartWitch Avatar

    NTA. Sounds like a typical Karen encounter. You’re within your rights to share if you want, but also within your rights to decline. I have no issue with kids, but I wouldn’t want to share my table with strangers either, or babysit some entitled person’s brats. The fact she couldn’t take no for an answer, devolved into yelling and insults, and couldn’t maintain proper decorum in public says loud and clear she was not someone worth associating with.

  81. New_sweetpea89 Avatar

    NTA you colleague and that lady are entitled. That lady is doing wrong by her children by behaving this way in front of them. The world doesn’t revolve around you and therefore at times have to wait. I can already imagine the terrible adults these poor children will become because of the terrible example their mom is setting.

  82. Expensive-Alfalfa569 Avatar

    I find a lot of people with children to be highly intolerant of those without children.
    I knew having kids meant that they were my responsibility and if there wasn’t room for us in a restaurant we would go somewhere else.
    Not a big deal!
    NTA

  83. Civil-Dragonfly-9438 Avatar

    People with kids sometimes act like entitled aholes. This happened to me. Except the parent didn’t even ask. Just came and sat down in a very aggressive way. Her kids were very disruptive. Dropped my stuff. Kept kicking the table. I feel if people find parenting hard they should not have had kids. It’s not my responsibility to make your life easier because you didn’t bother to use contraceptives

  84. folding-it-up Avatar

    NTA. I have kids and sometimes I don’t want to sit with them 🤪

  85. autoredial Avatar

    She’s not an AH for asking, you’re not the AH for refusing. She’s the AH for not accepting a no. Just because you have kids doesn’t allow you to be an entitled dick.

  86. JCannaday3 Avatar

    Tell the same story but exclude the children. I think most of us would think it well within our rights to politely decline inviting strangers to our table. She was using her children as ammunition to get her way. She can wait like any other customer.

  87. Careless-Ability-748 Avatar

    nta I’m not interested in eating with strangers at a restaurant, she can wait for a table like everyone else.

  88. Lostintranslatin000 Avatar

    NTA. Who are these entitled people? lol If a parent asked me I’d say, “No, I don’t know you.” And just ignore them. 😂🙄

  89. falkor_n Avatar

    NTA. Maybe I’m cynical but she probably would’ve tried to rope you into paying half or something too. I love children, but not strangers children. That could’ve been the most nightmarish lunch break you’d ever had.

  90. L2Fracture Avatar

    Another snooty bitch with kids trying to use her children to achieve goals

  91. -Joe1964 Avatar

    I’d have let them join me. It likely doesn’t come up much.

  92. D4m3Noir Avatar

    NTA. How will the kids learn to wait their turn if they never wait their turn?

  93. LuLuLuv444 Avatar

    NTA, tired of entitled parents. You owe that person absolutely nothing. I don’t want to sit near kids I don’t know either

  94. TheOnlyDave_ Avatar

    Fifty bucks.

    If somebody asks to do something you don’t want to do, respond with a price that it would take for you to do that thing. If it’s important to them, they’ll pay. If it’s not important they had an opportunity but they turned it down.

    Switching seats on an airplane, $500 dollars. Sitting with me at a restaurant, $50. Now it’s on them.

  95. Money-Detective-6631 Avatar

    NTA she made it about herself..But she is actually aggressive insisting you Let them sit with you..Stand your Ground…

  96. auscadtravel Avatar

    NTA people with kids seem to think the world should bend to their wants and needs instead of respecting that they are the only ones on the whole planet that like their kids. You are a stranger and she should be teaching her kids to stay away from strangers.

  97. TaylorMade2566 Avatar

    Yet another person who uses a “request” to veil an actual demand. If you ask someone for something, you should be prepared to hear no and to accept that with grace. Entitled people think everything they want is reasonable so how DARE you say no! NTA, especially since small children were involved, who can end up being disruptive and noisy. If I eat out alone, I’m looking for solitude, not an excuse to share my table

  98. HMS_Slartibartfast Avatar

    INFO: Where was this at? In some cultures, this would be acceptable. Other, this wouldn’t be something tolerated.

  99. greenlungs604 Avatar

    NTA. I’m not sure why some parents get some sort of wierd entitlement thing just because they have kids. I mean good for you? Idgaf about your kids lady, I’m trying to eat my lunch in peace.

  100. Sweet_Vanilla46 Avatar

    NTA and given her entitlement you wouldn’t have enjoyed sitting with her anyways. What’s next? Pay for our meal, because I’m a parent? She lucky it’s not one of my regular restaurants because I have SEEN them tell people who were being rude to leave.

  101. dommiichan Avatar

    your colleague is also TA

  102. Lucky-Individual460 Avatar

    Her kids have no chance in life with a rude, angry mother like she is. NTA.

  103. JapaneseNaoDoll Avatar

    Nah, you’re NTA here. You’re not obligated to share your personal space with strangers, kids or not. That mom was way out of line insulting you especially in front of her own kids. Your colleague needs to chill too

  104. Popular_Aide_6790 Avatar

    I have two children, almost 20f/12f and I do not like children. I like MY children but others no.

  105. Y2Flax Avatar

    Need more context: is this a situation where there are actual tables for single eaters and you decided to get a booth or a big table? If so, yeah YTA

  106. RoyalRobinBanks Avatar

    People with kids need to stop expecting special treatment. You are definitely NTAH.

  107. Gemfyre1 Avatar

    Nta. I guarantee she would have tried pushing the check on you also

  108. Unable_Tone8598 Avatar

    It’s okay to hate kids. if you don’t have any, why deal with them.

  109. Cautious-Thought362 Avatar

    NTA. People like her have probably gotten away with this type of behavior before.

    She probably would have expected you to pick up her tab, too.

  110. Amazing-Wave4704 Avatar

    FuCK NO!! Omigod the entitled privilege. even people with kids have to wait their turn!!!!

  111. Possible-Cloud-3628 Avatar

    Nta. Having children doesn’t entitle anyone to other people’s time, space, money, or mental load.

  112. nicholaiia Avatar

    With all the germs in the world, I would refuse anyone of any age if they tried to share my space. Eff that. Your coworker said what she did because she’s probably one of the entitled assholes who would have expected the man to give his table away. As a woman, I’m offended by the lady with the kids and your coworker.

  113. GamerGuyHeyooooooo Avatar

    Yeah I mean they asked a question and you said no, which is one of the 2 possible answers.

    She should not ask you a yes or no question with the expectation you will only answer with a yes. It feels entitled.

  114. KangarooStrict2650 Avatar

    Sort of but you have a right to be. She ended up being one. Here is the thing… I wouldn’t have either. I have seen where someone does this and then skips out saying they were with you and leave you to pay. May have saved yourself an added expense.

  115. thrace75 Avatar

    NTA. Picnic table at the park/zoo where it’s all kind of a shared space, and they want the other end? Seems reasonable. Actual restaurant? That’s a much bigger ask.

  116. youngdcb Avatar

    NTA, but the mother and your colleague are. You should show your colleague this thread.

    I like people, but I don’t want random people, especially with children, sitting with me unwanted. I bounce back and forth from introvert to extrovert depending on mood. When I go out, I have a specific experience in mind. If I were to go to a restaurant, unless I’m going with my niece and nephews, then I have no intention on interacting with children.

    People like to use insults to try to get their way. I lean into them now. “You’re a child hater.” “Yes Ma’am!! That’s why I said no. Have a blessed day.”

  117. WhoLetsMeAdult Avatar

    People are wild. NTA

  118. CarryOk3080 Avatar

    Nta. Having children isn’t a free pass to invade people’s space. She was Hella rude. And I have kids.

  119. Own_Economist_602 Avatar

    You paid to sit alone. No explanation is required.

  120. CankerLord Avatar

    NTA

    I’d have just said I hate children. Gets the point across with fewer words.

  121. AlyceEnchanted Avatar

    NTA. I would like to think I would have replied to the second time she asked/insisted, “If I had wanted company, I would have brought them with me.”

    I loathe the general population, at this point.

  122. FelixArmadillo Avatar

    NTA. This whole situation is annoying. She’s TA for thinking she could impose her CHOSEN situation on others.

  123. rock-n-white-hat Avatar

    If you were at a restaurant where wait staff seat you why would she need to ask to sit with you?

  124. Lisa_Knows_Best Avatar

    NTA. There’s no way some random lady with 2 small kids should expect anyone would let her sit them. She can wait like everyone else. 

  125. Brosie24601 Avatar

    You are NTA, but the woman thinking she is entitled to your table because she has kids is, and so is your colleague.

    You don’t owe anyone anything just because they have children.

  126. Altruistic-Bunny Avatar

    I never worked in a restaurant so please let me know if I am wrong. Seating is not just about table availability; staffing level, distributing customers to wait staff fairly, and kitchen resources are also considered. Would they going to assign two servers to the table? Would they be jumping the line?

    Regardless, you – NTA

    Your co-worker – idiot

  127. Ok_Historian_646 Avatar

    NTA! Im a parent myself, and would NEVER expect a stranger to give up or allow me to sit at their table ( with or without children). With 2 small children, what the hell did she expect you would say? The audacity of some people!

  128. Radiant_Chipmunk3962 Avatar

    NTA, no is a complete sentence.

  129. DorceeB Avatar

    Fake story. For simple karma farming.

    OP brand new, no replies etc.

    But at least it’s a “newer” story, not the recycled ones.

  130. Yiayiamary Avatar

    I feel for parents with small children, but it’s not as if she didn’t know what time it was and when her children would be hungry. I always carried “tired, hungry tantrum prevention snacks” whenever I took mine out. Not a strangers problem.

  131. Stone804_ Avatar

    Just tell people you have anxiety and need space from people. That you reserve that table for some social distance, and phrase things in a way that makes sense.

    Like, “if you were in a romantic dinner for 2, would it be fine if a bunch of rowdy drunk men slid their table against yours and say next to you yelling and hollering?” No, of course not.

    It’s because of adding the children that people are offended, but if you take it out of the context of innocence and put it in the context of the actual lived experience, it helps center the argument.

  132. LeftLane4PassingOnly Avatar

    NTA. Especially since they didn’t even have to wait.

  133. Complete_Gap_9798 Avatar

    NTA – No is a valid answer. If she wanted your table, then she should’ve gotten there earlier. Having children doesn’t entitle you to any extra care and/or benefits. You did nothing wrong. Good luck.

  134. tytyoreo Avatar

    NTA… first she needed to wait on the host or waiter to seat her…
    Next why would anyone especially with children go up to a stranger and expect to eat with a stranger…

    You wanted to enjoy your lunch tell whomever saying you’re a AH to go sit with strangers and see how they feel

  135. Blu_fairie Avatar

    NTA. If the situation were reversed would a single woman with 2 children share a table with a single man? Absolutely not! Nor would she be expected to. Why do the single people have to cater to women and children of the world? Children aren’t a free pass to the world’s inconveniences.

  136. TeaLadyJane Avatar

    NTA. I have children. You are not intitled to stuff just because you have kids. You did nothing wrong. I have kids and I’d rather chew my arm off than eat lunch with someone I don’t know if I didn’t make that decision myself. It’s one thing to see a need and offer to fill it. It is quite another to be made to feel like you have to do something.

  137. Street_Ad_863 Avatar

    You sound like an anti social creep

  138. Lord_of_Entropy Avatar

    Definitely NTA. I don’t understand why she thought it was okay. If she was with 3 adults, would she ask to share your table? I don’t think so. Having children with you doesn’t give you carte blanche in these situations. My kids are no longer little, but when I took them out to a busy restaurant, I made sure I had something that would distract them, in case there was a long wait; even if that something was me just telling them a story or playing patticake.

    Also, and it is a shame I need to think like this, I would not want to share my table with a strange woman and her two kids. I would be concerned that of a false allegation of inappropriate touching.

  139. Top-Spite-1288 Avatar

    NTA – Table was already occupied. You could have let them join you, but then again, her insulting and being ready to shout at you in a restaurant tells me, your lunch would have been hell. On top of that: there actually WAS a table ready for her and her kids.

    PS: I hate when people feel entitled to anything just because they have children. They have no more right to what others have than anyone without kids.

  140. Cos393 Avatar

    Depends on the type of dining. Waiter and restaurant…it is a little odd to sit with strangers. I can see if you were caught off guard. It’s not like you can offer the table and just leave.

    If it is communal seating (food court, cafeteria, etc), then you are the AH (not calling you an AH, just in general). Sharing a table is a basic human interaction. My grandfather before he died, sat at a table, bc he needed it, needed to eat, and was a little confused. I didn’t sit with him, bc it was awkward, but if anyone had said anything, we would be exchanging words.

    The problem with humanity these days is that we rarely choose to put ourselves in other’s shoes…or actively ignore it.

    The other problem is people who can’t sit with a stranger or who can’t talk to one on the phone. The future is bleak when humans can’t interact like normal humans. We’re fucked.

  141. Sea-Tea8982 Avatar

    It’s got nothing to do with whether she has kids or not. Why would she even ask? She’s a crazy entitled one for sure!! You are not the asshole here.

  142. hattori_hongzo Avatar

    I’m glad OP said “NO”. Her kids might be well-behaved angels, but I don’t know, the kids of a pushy mother who’s got insults ready . . . I doubt it. And it’s no coincidence that the type of people who think it’s perfectly acceptable to impose on strangers would be just as quick to hurl insults at them the instant they don’t get their way. It’s an adult-form of a temper tantrum. I privately want these people to come up on me bc I enjoy telling them to piss off.

  143. BBoggsNation Avatar

    NTA and your co-worker sucks while we’re at it.

  144. Tinkerpro Avatar

    Naw. I wouldn’t have shared either. Sucks to be you would have probably come out of my mouth as she got nastir

  145. ConsciousNectarine9 Avatar

    NTA you aren’t obligated to allow someone to sit with you

  146. who_am_i_please Avatar

    You’ve done nothing wrong but come on….

  147. Perenium_Falcon Avatar

    NTA, hi I have a child and there is no way I would subject you to that. I feel like society doesn’t owe me a damn thing for choosing to have a kiddo and my wife, him, and I just try to move through life making as small of a splash as possible. He’s a newborn and the few times we’ve gone out in public with him we’ve made sure to plan accordingly. Five years from now I may feel different but I hope not. It’s my job to keep him comfortable and as little of an annoyance around others as possible.
    Also, as an introvert I don’t like strangers in my space unless it’s vital. Sitting in a lifeboat? Yes, everyone squeeze together and lets go. Most other situations? Please stay away from me.

  148. Imaginary-Stranger78 Avatar

    But this is at a restaurant….not a mall….a restaurant? If you did that, then they means people who are also waiting in line should feel the need to do this too. Why would she even think to ask this, randomly, to a person she doesn’t know?

    What if you wear waiting for your wife/girlfriend? Imagine that conversation when she sees you sitting with another woman and her kids, that would be a different kind of experience and I bet she’d rethink asking again.

    Your collegue is also entitled and thinks the world should be given on a silver platter (i mean the only “AH” (and not a literal one) moment is maybe you should know what kind of colleague that person is cause now she could spin a story for something later—But you did nothing wrong.

    Besides depending on how they were raised and just overall children (by no fault of their own at times) are loud and not everyone is okay with that, and that’s fine (it’s only a person’s reaction to the situation can be that way). But I’d take this woman as someone who is pretty entitled, if not privileged. I mean, the waiter probably told to wait an alloted time frame which couldn’t have been that long if she came up to your table, asked a question, you kindly replied, and the wiater came back before she could explode (in front of her kids, poor kids). She has no patience what so ever and I fear the children growing up and being into her.

    Just go about your day amd let no one gaslit you into any situation.