Last night at a party this girl kept hitting on my man . She did not introduce herself to me, wouldn’t let me even ask her or talk to her. She kept talking to my man from the moment she came. My bf just to be polite listened to her, but she completely tried to monopolise him. He gets up to get a drink and she gets up to running behind him like a lost puppy. There were other people there too so she could talk to any of them, but her focus was on him all night. He gets up to dance and guess who’s trying to grind on him, her ofcourse. The last straw for me was her calling him baby. After that I had enough. I got super handsy with my bf, every time she tried to talk to him I would cut in and start a conversation with him. I caused alot of drama. I made it known to everyone that she was an asshole. After that she became super quiet. Should I have handled things differently? In hind sight maybe I went over board. I became pretty loud and made everyone against her. My thinking is that I’m not a door mat so I’m not gonna ignore disrespect just to keep the peace, I’m gonna make myself known if someone comes at me like that. So am i the asshole or was i in the right
AITAH for roasting a girl who kept hitting on my man at a party
r/AITAH
Comments
NTA. People who flirt with other people’s spouses should be shamed.
You have a boyfriend problem. He should’ve shut her down instead of letting her follow him around. Instead he disrespected you by trying to be nice to this interloper.
NTA. She wanted your man, you showed her who he goes home with. Sometimes you gotta remind ’em you’re not the one to play with.
You weren’t loud, you were clear. Some people only understand boundaries when they hit a wall, and last night, that wall was you.
girl you didn’t cause drama, you closed it. some people only understand boundaries when you draw them in permanent marker. she knew EXACTLY what she was doing and played dumb until she got checked. if she wanted peace she should’ve started with “hi, I’m so-and-so” instead of “baby” to someone else’s man.
NTA Went out with a bf when I was in my 20’s. Some girl tried that with him and he said he was with someone to her. She tried for a few minutes and I stepped between them and said ” that’s my man and you can take your skank ass down the bar”.
Your boyfriend is also the issue.
NTA
You set clear boundaries when someone was blatantly disrespecting your relationship, that’s self respect, girl, not drama
YTA: You could have pulled your man aside and told him to SHUT IT DOWN! Nope, you decided to do things the classless way. You probably won’t be invited back.
First, your bf, he should be shutting that girl up not you. He should be the one clearly drawing a line. And if he’s too soft to do that, he needs a nanny not a gf.
Second, you did nothing wrong in roasting that girl. She disrespected you. So she had it coming. Thus NTA
Meanwhile “your” man is just soaking up the attention and not doing anything about it?!? Sounds like he had every opportunity to shut her down and he didn’t. Because he didn’t want to, likely.
nah you’re not the asshole, she was doing the most and clearly had no respect for you or boundaries. you matched her energy and set the record straight. could it have been more lowkey? sure. but honestly sometimes people only get the message when it’s loud.
Funny how they all say that he should have roasted her, yet how many of them would roast the guy doing the same behaviors my guess next to none and they’d double down on it by saying he’s like a brother to me. So no OP your NTA and quite frankly, neither is your man. The only assholes I see are the ones who say anyone other than the chick was being an AH
Your boyfriend sucks and so does the loser trying to poach him. Ew
This girl definitely knows your bf, and she doesn’t know he’s taken. She must have had a reason to act like that. I would be very suspicious of the situation especially since she got very quiet after you told her off.
NTA- but had he said , sorry I’m taken. She would have likely stopped. He wanted the attention- you have a boyfriend problem
What girl is comfortable calling some guy baby in one night???? Girl he is the problem, seems like we’re missing a lot of the real story here
She wasn’t the issue. Your partner is because he should have let her know, clearly, that he was there with you. It is that simple. You did what you had to do in order to push her away from him, but he should have been pushing her away as well and wasn’t. The big question is: why wasn’t he? You need to have a serious talk to him about that.
NTA
Amazing how women always attack for the wrong reasons, YTA, just an FYI, she continued that because your man was liking the attention, not because she was overstepping. You made all this drama when it seems very clear your supposed Man was enjoying everybit of what was happening. It’s a shame you weren’t mature enough to step and look at this situation like an adult, instead you went full high-school mean girls. And when he finally does cheat will it be the woman’s fault to you as well?
Commenters need to stop blaming the BF. The creepy stalker was on his heels all night. If he had been rude to her, you would all be singing a different tune.
Creep Stalker Girl is wrong. She obviously knew he had a girlfriend who was present. And all fault stops right there.
Nta OP
I think you handled it well .. she was an asshole . Very good response.
NTA but he also shouldn’t be complacent to be nice. He needs to shut it down, but you’re NTA for roasting. I would definitely be having a talk with HIM though. I wouldn’t tolerate that from him either.
NTA. But your boyfriend is for not shutting it down. It shouldn’t be up to you to get rid of this girl. Imagine if you weren’t there. He probably would’ve let her grind on him. I suggest you talk to your man about boundaries and that being polite doesn’t mean to let opportunities to cheat and/or disrespect happen.
Women are way worst than men when it comes to rejection.
You don’t openly reject a woman so she can go behind your back and spread rumors about you, or throw a drink in your face, or start crying in public, or just freak out and become aggressive and loud.
All of these things have happened. Attractive masculine men smile, let them flirt, and let their wives know.
When it happens nowadays, my wife will ask them if they want to have a threesome and if they like eating pussy. This disengages the threat to me while simultaneously taking the woman off guard. She’ll most likely decline but that puts the power in her hands and makes her feel like she’s the one that wants to stop the flirting instead of her feeling rejected or attacked.
If you aren’t going to ignore disrespect why are you ignoring it from your BF? He should have told her to back off the second he realised what she was doing, because of his inaction she ended up grinding on him in a room full of people. He’s your problem.
I think you did what felt right. How women disrespect each other is going to look different vs if your BF, a man, disrespected her the same way. But, he should have shut her down in some type of way. She should have gotten the hint. Did she seem drunk?
“My thinking is that I’m not a door mat so I’m not gonna ignore disrespect just to keep the peace” better tell that to your boyfriend…..
ESH
Your bf should have shut it down himself. She’s not the problem the bf is.
Your boyfriend is not your possession.
You should be secure in your relationship to trust him.
Your reactions were over the top and immature.
YATA
Ummmm, she’s obviously not a girls girl and when she saw that your boyfriend was not shutting her down, she figured she had a shot….. the problem is not her she is who she is, it’s your boyfriend. Open your eyes and look.
You & her both suck & sound about 5
How old are you? I think a single “he’s taken” would have sufficed. To be fair, your bf/husband? Should have just told her politely that he’s not interested. You shouldn’t be proud to create drama.