so i turned 25 last weekend and my girlfriend put together this small thing at our place just a few close friends, drinks, food, nothing crazy. i’m not even big on birthdays but it was actually really nice
then my sister (27f) shows up. she wasn’t invited. i wouldn’t have said no if she asked but like… she just walked in like it was her house. immediately starts complaining theres no vegan cake (didnt even know she was vegan??) and then goes on this weird rant about how birthdays are “childish” and “narcissistic” and how she doesn’t get why people celebrate just being born lol
everyone got quiet after that. she totally killed the vibe. my girlfriend looked pissed but didn’t say anything. one of my friends left early and texted me later like “yo what was up with your sister”
after most people left i told her hey i feel like you made this night all about you and kinda ruined it. she flipped. said im too sensitive and should be happy she even bothered to show up. now shes not talking to me and my mom is saying i should apologize to avoid family drama.
AITAH??
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You’re not the asshole but your sister sure is. She seems like one of those people where everything has to always be about her.
Mom wants you to apologize so she doesn’t have to deal with your sister’s bullshit and drama. Lazy.
Frankly you did the right thing, said the right thing, at the right time and in the right way.
NTA, but your sister and mom sure are.
NTA but why tf did y’all let her in, let alone stay? You didn’t want her there. Gf didn’t want her there. Friends didn’t want her there. Kinda seems like you all just let her ruin your night.
I sure hope someone gifted you a spine.
If birthdays are childish why would she show up uninvited
NTA. You do know you can cut out people like that out of your life, right? She’syour relative, it’s on you to set up the boundaries with your family, not on your GF or your friends. Just because they’re “family” does give them the right to disrespect you or your gf. Grow a pair quickly and start standing up for yourself before your gf realizes you’re incapable of that. I’m sure she just saw a glimpse of her future life with you.
YTA – for letting her stay. When she said birthdays were childish. – was the perfect time to say – “ you’re welcome to leave my childish birthday- no one is forcing you to stay”.
“Sure mom, I’ll apologize. I’m sorry you raised a narcissistic daughter who doesn’t care about others. You must be so sad. “
I’d go low contact and next time make sure your gf keeps the party on the downlow. NTA and DO NOT APOLOGIZE.
Don’t apologize! Tell her to call ne t time and to be a good guest. If she wasn’t there to be happy celebrating your birthday, she shouldn’t have come. Be sure to let your girlfriend know how much you appreciated her efforts and how she tried to give you a great birthday and you acknowledge that, even if your sister ruined it.
NTA. Tell your mother to be a mother and parent her daughter. And tell your sister to apologize and act like a decent adult, or she is not welcome at your home or any party or gathering you organize.
No, you shouldn’t apologize.
She wasn’t invited, she made your guests feel uncomfortable, and she insulted you and your party by referring to birthdays as “narcissistic” and “childish.”
You can tell her, “If anyone was a narcissist, it was you. You ruined the vibe. You made the event about you.” Tell your mom that your sister can apologize for being a jerk. You aren’t sensitive by calling out the obvious. If your mom wants to “avoid family drama,” tell her that she needs to tell your sister to get her head out of her ass. If your sister doesn’t talk to you, embrace the time without her.
Wow she sounds a right piece of work!!!
NTA!!! Do not apologise to her, it’s literally like toddlers and tantrums. You apologise, it just makes her behaviour okay, and she’ll be worse the next time!
You should not “just be happy” she showed up, as you did not want her there and she wasn’t invited. NTA
NTA-But why didn’t anyone tell her to gtfo?
NTA your sister is a gaslighting narcissist.
NTA but you need to let her know that she was not invited, that you apparently are not close enough to her to know she is vegan (but again, not invited). That you will make sure to ignore all of her birthdays so she doesn’t feel you are pushing your horrible view that birthdays can be celebrated.