Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We’d like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you’ll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we’ll drop a link so you can see our host’s take on your story.
Backup of the post’s body: My (26F) boyfriend (26M) and I have been together for almost 8 years now and have bought our house 2.5 years ago. Last summer our basement was fully flooded and we had to redo it all. My bf suffer from anxiety and he is very picky with how our renovations are done as he works in this field. We have been at it for almost 8 months now and we have encountered a lot of difficulties. Wrong deliveries, incorrect installation and so on. Since I’m working from home, I am the one there to open the door to the team we hire and pay people. We had a lot of arguments because he feels like I’m responsible for everything wrong that happened since I was at the house. The thing is, I’m working and I can’t leave a client call to look at every corner of the basement before paying people. During our arguments he usually becomes quite aggressive with his words saying that I’m never able to do anything right and he thought I was smarter than that. Keep in mind that every issue that we had, I handle the correction with the compagnies. Fast forward to today, there was a guy at the house installing our shower door and when I saw the invoice, I immediately paid the guy to not forget about it even if he was halfway done with the job. When my bf saw that, he brought me into another room to “silent scream” at me that I was never able to learn from my mistakes (I.e., paying before the job was done) and basically being quite upset. At this point, I’m really fed up with his behavior so I told him to go fuck himself. Apparently I talked loud enough for the worker to hear me (which we don’t know if he did) and now my bf is mad at me.
I understand that I should not have said it loudly but at the same time, he earned it. AITHA?
I’m sorry to say it but he does have a good point especially paying before the job is done because if that worker bounces and doesn’t finish the job then are you going to chase the guy down and deal with it or will he? You acknowledge he has anxiety about that stuff but you don’t realize the mistakes affect him directly and he’s the one who has to do something about it. He needs to communicate better but as a man I understand the frustration and anxiety in the situation. Take some accountability and actively show him it’s lesson learned from the mistakes. I’ll give you a secret and that is most men just want to be acknowledged and heard without you making a bunch of excuses and that would change his reactions.
Comments
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We’d like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you’ll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we’ll drop a link so you can see our host’s take on your story.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Backup of the post’s body: My (26F) boyfriend (26M) and I have been together for almost 8 years now and have bought our house 2.5 years ago. Last summer our basement was fully flooded and we had to redo it all. My bf suffer from anxiety and he is very picky with how our renovations are done as he works in this field. We have been at it for almost 8 months now and we have encountered a lot of difficulties. Wrong deliveries, incorrect installation and so on. Since I’m working from home, I am the one there to open the door to the team we hire and pay people. We had a lot of arguments because he feels like I’m responsible for everything wrong that happened since I was at the house. The thing is, I’m working and I can’t leave a client call to look at every corner of the basement before paying people. During our arguments he usually becomes quite aggressive with his words saying that I’m never able to do anything right and he thought I was smarter than that. Keep in mind that every issue that we had, I handle the correction with the compagnies. Fast forward to today, there was a guy at the house installing our shower door and when I saw the invoice, I immediately paid the guy to not forget about it even if he was halfway done with the job. When my bf saw that, he brought me into another room to “silent scream” at me that I was never able to learn from my mistakes (I.e., paying before the job was done) and basically being quite upset. At this point, I’m really fed up with his behavior so I told him to go fuck himself. Apparently I talked loud enough for the worker to hear me (which we don’t know if he did) and now my bf is mad at me.
I understand that I should not have said it loudly but at the same time, he earned it. AITHA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I’m sorry to say it but he does have a good point especially paying before the job is done because if that worker bounces and doesn’t finish the job then are you going to chase the guy down and deal with it or will he? You acknowledge he has anxiety about that stuff but you don’t realize the mistakes affect him directly and he’s the one who has to do something about it. He needs to communicate better but as a man I understand the frustration and anxiety in the situation. Take some accountability and actively show him it’s lesson learned from the mistakes. I’ll give you a secret and that is most men just want to be acknowledged and heard without you making a bunch of excuses and that would change his reactions.