I’ve been trying to keep the peace in this house. I really have. But I think I finally hit my breaking point. So here’s the deal. My husband works full time as a sanitation worker. Not some “big shot” job, I get it but it’s honest. Stable. He busts his ass every single day so we can have food on the table. He doesn’t complain. He doesn’t slack off. He just works. And honestly? I admire him for that. But my stepmom? She acts like his job makes her look bad. We’ve been staying with my dad and her for a couple months while we’re saving up to move out. Rent’s crazy, and we needed time to get on our feet after I gave birth. I thought we were all on the same page. I thought she was supportive. But this woman… She’s been making little comments for weeks now. Stuff like, “Oh wow, I guess the trash business really booming, huh?” “Bet that uniform smells amazing when he gets home.” or “You should’ve aimed higher, sweetie. A man with ambition would’ve had you in your own place by now.” The worst part? She always says it with a fake-ass smile, like she’s just joking. Like I’m supposed to laugh along while she drags the man who treats me better than anyone ever has. I bit my tongue so many times. Tried to be the “bigger person.” I even told my dad about it, and he just kinda brushed it off, like, “She didn’t mean it that way.”
Then yesterday, it just got too much. She said, loud as hell, while I was feeding our baby “I hope he’s not planning to do that job forever. What are you gonna tell your kid? ‘Daddy picks up garbage for a living’?” Something in me just snapped. I didn’t even think. I looked her dead in the eye and said “Maybe don’t insult the man who’s literally helping feed you while we’re in your house. Maybe stop acting like you’re better than him when all you do is sit around complaining and judging people.” She was shocked. She acted like I’d just slapped her. She stormed out. My dad came home later and told me I needed to apologize because I “disrespected his wife in her own home.” Now everyone’s acting cold. My husband says he’s fine, but I can tell it bothered him. He already feels like he’s “not good enough” sometimes and now this? I’m torn. I know it’s her house. I know I lost my temper. But I swear, I was just trying to protect him. So tell me… Aitah?
Comments
Not the asshole. You’re a protective wife and mom who finally stood up for your husband you said it straight and she didn’t like hearing the truth out loud. But that doesn’t make you the bad guy.
NTA. Screw them both. Your dad has horrible taste in women and she’s the AH for sure. She’s given you the perfect excuse to never help her with anything.
She’s pretentious. Not sure where you are but garbage men make a decent living in many cities. Your poor dad.
Are you guys paying rent? Maybe it’s time to go.
NTA
Classic FAFO.
These AI generated posts all sound exactly the same. Lots of short (even one-word) sentences, extensive dialogue that never sounds like anything a real human would say out loud, multiple uses of ellipses (the new em-dash), “keeping the peace,“ multiple unnecessary rhetorical questions, voice is vaguely young and female and snarky. It’s wild how similar they all sound once you notice it.
Trash collectors make good money. And sometimes find interesting things. Sometimes they’re the hero saving animals that people throw out like trash. A few times even a baby 😱. So your husband isn’t making millions. As long as he treats you right and does well by you and your child who cares what anyone thinks or says. You could always just completely ignore her like she said nothing.
NTA and good for you for standing up for your husband.
NTA. Your father‘s house is no longer a safe place for you and your husband and child.
I know finances are difficult, but please get out as quickly as you can, even if it means living in a studio apartment
Your husband sounds like a great man and good for you for seeing that in him and appreciating his work. I understand why you are living there but it sounds like it’s time to go and never look back. Keep hold of that man, he’s a diamond
NTA, what does she do all day besides sit around, not work and complain. Seems like she’s just a gold digger to me
Stepmom is a dic*. Your husband is doing honest work and you’re defending that. Anyone who says different is an idiot. Only one who needs to apologize is stepmom. Anybody defending her is just as stupid as she is. You’re doing it right. Never question that.
NTA. Garbage Man is a job with good benefits.
Your husband is a hard working man doing the best he can for his family. FK her & the horse she rode in on. NTA. And don’t you dare apologise to her.
Fuck all of them and their snobby, shitty attitudes. Your husband does hard, honest work. He sounds like a decent, hard-working man and that is all that matters. Do not apologise. You are 100% right.
NTAH for sure, I’m honestly admiring how you stood your stood for your family and she clearly doesn’t have the best intention for you. So matter how rude it may have seen to her to yell at her, respect goes both ways.
Well done for standing your ground, your husband can not only be proud for doing what it takes , but also to have you as a wife . Utmost respect.
Don’t forget one second think you wrong, glad you put her in her place!
NTA, and honestly I wish my husband was a trash collector because his job stresses him out.
I’m a little suspicious of whether this is real or creative writing, but trash collectors the world over deserve some kudos and respect, so I’m going with that.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a sanitation worker. Your man is providing that is his purpose. Best of luck to him.
NTA. Ask your sm what she does with her garbage and who does she think collects it and disposes of it? Oh, she doesn’t have garbage? What does she call her unwanted stuff? She’s probably another of those people that also think that their shit doesn’t stink! The sooner you move out the better.
Any honest job is a good job to have. I don’t care what you do, you are filling a need that exists. And getting , hopefully, an honest pay for a job done. Honest, hardworking people need to be appreciated.
I work in hospitality. Nothing runs like it should without the stewards/warewashers.
You did right! Your husband is providing for his family the best that he can. Anyone should be proud of that, and him!
ETA: NTAH
NTA – There’s no shame in hard work and honesty. Your husband’s doing more than most, and that deserves respect, not ridicule. Stand your ground.
NTA
Metaphorically you did slap her and she deserved it and you are awesome for standing up for your husband
NTA. If you dare to appologize just to keep a roof over your head, make sure it is insincere. Twist the words to mean (or just say it) I’m sorry i got mad because you were denigrating my husband, the father of my child. I dont know what got into me….Ive never snapped at anyone like that before. Then again my friends and aquaintences dont denigrate my husband like you do….. something like that.
Your husband already won in life cause you’re showing this level of support.
Your dad on the other hand…hard to win with them cards when he’s stuck with a Caught Under No Trumps case.
Apologize on the condition she stops complaining about your husband.
where i grew up-very small town in mtns. we combined 2 towns just to have enough students to have a high school….mothers take in kids baby sitting to make grocery money. jobs like mcdonalds and walmart are treated with respect because it is steady regular income. people work on farms because it comes with free housing.
ANY job is a GOOD job- you support your family, you put food on the table, you pay your bills…thats LIFE!
your husband deserves respect, and alot of credit for doing a hardjob. for going to work each day, and taking care of his family. he deserves for you to be proud of him…..
youre NTAH- but your step monster is and i think your dad is on the verge of it!
maybe you would be better off going no contact when you move out-esp when it comes to the kids-you dont want your parents saying those kind of comments around your kids-and you know she will behind your back. (just something to think about!)
Your stepmother really needs to get off her high horse and stop acting like she is better than your husband. What was the last actual job she had? I’m not talking down about stay at home moms/wives or anything. I am one myself, but I would never talk down about someone who works hard like your husband does. NTA
NTA, and tell your dad you’ll apologise when she admits she’s a judgemental bitch with a unearned superiority complex and apologises for the non stop disrespect you, your husband and your child have received from her on a daily basis.
Nta at all.
“You do realise that trash collectors have an important job and if they didn’t do it, everyone’s rubbish would pile up in the streets making things smell. And bringing in pests. Someone has to do the job, why not my hubby?”
NTA. She can get over herself.
Youre living there so it’s your home too, and shes been disrespecting you both for weeks. NTA but you should have done it sooner.
Tell your dad you’ll apologize when she does to your husband for her unnecessary and cruel comments. Your husband has a job he’s not out slinging dope NTA
NTA…she is a piece of work….you are awesome for supporting your family and having your husbands back….he is earning a living and supporting his family… as long as he treats you well who cares what his job is…he is doing an honest days work doing something we all need to have people doing …we need more people like him…someone real and without pretension…hugs to you all 😉😘…also time to move out and wipe her from your lives 💕🫂
Your husband is a hard worker and doing a critical job. I don’t know where you live but in my area (south Florida) someone like your husband can $100K or more. Out-earning an average lawyer, teacher, etc.
I’m glad you stood up for your husband. I hope you can move out soon and get away from her and her snide comments. Best wishes to you!
NTA.
Your husband works a hard, honest job to take care of you and your family. Zero shame and nothing but admiration about that.
Your stepmother is a snob and a bully and disrespectful as hell. She pushed, and you snapped. The “disrespect” she’s feeling was a long time coming and doesn’t warrant an apology.
Respect earns respect, and the opposite is also true.
Sanitation workers are literally a cornerstone of infrastructure and how we’re not all dying of cholera. NTA. Your husband does an important job – and, from what I understand, one with a reasonable paycheck and frequent unionization. Also!!! One where he leaves work at work and can be fully present when he’s home, which is great in a partner and coparent.
Stepmom’s just a snob.
NTA. Society would fall apart without trash collectors. It’s honest work and it’s hard work.
Proper sanitation is pivotal in preventing illness such as cholera and thyphoid and limiting the growth of diisease carrying icky things like rats and fleas. Your hubby is making the world a safer healthier place.
Another fake one from the AI
When you get the opportunity to leave, don’t look back. I wouldn’t even want her around after you get out of that house and your father allowing it would definitely warrant low contact
You have your husbands back. She is a snob and should apologise to both of you.nta
NTA. He has a stable job in a crappy economy. He makes decent money to support you and your child. Stepmom is a raging AH. I know y’all are trying to save but maybe it’s time to look at moving even somewhere temporary and cheaper than staying with her. Does she even work? Bc for someone that apparently brings 0 finances to the table she sure is a judgy shrew.
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