I (30F) have had the worst relationship growing up with my both of my sisters. However, my middle sister (32F) is becoming unbearable. I have been trying to limit conversation because I feel like we will eventually get into a bad argument.
I’ll share some examples below –
Yesterday she called me and during our conversation, I asked if she had any plans for the summer like the beach ect? Her response was “IDK why you and everyone else are so worried about me”. I responded, I’m not worried, I was just making conversation. She replied, “well asking what I’m doing is you being worried”.
A few days ago, she called me and during our conversation said my fiancé “acts nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care about our relationship”. I asked her what would even make her say that and she literally said “I just get that feeling”.
Last example – My sisters birthday is coming up. I asked if she wanted to go to dinner with me or something. She responded, “I am not getting gifts so I don’t want to do anything”. I then told her I did buy her a gift and she responds “It better not be bath and body works again because I don’t even use the other ones you got me”.
I could go on for days but don’t want to make this post super long. Its like the way she speaks to me completely throws me off. Its like she is trying to make me angry or upset, all the time. Every time I try and bring it up, she completely lies about her tone or completely denies everything. I am just fed up and I don’t get what her issue is with me. I tried to build a relationship with her but it is tiring. AITA for starting to not like me sister?
Comments
NTA
I know people like this and it’s exhausting hanging out with them. You’ve tried bringing it up and it doesn’t help. Not much else you can do. I’d just stop contacting her.
I’m sure you’ll still see each other at events and she’ll probably call you on occasion, but that’s an easy way to at least somewhat limit the amount of annoying conversations you have.
NTA- if you didnt have a good bond with ur sister the whole childhood, now that ur adults i asumme its not going to be any better especially since she is not trying or even showing intrest. You’re doing all you can but at the end of the day u cant force a bond.
NTA
> “It better not be bath and body works again because I don’t even use the other ones you got me”.
What a shitty thing for a 32 year old to say. Just stop reaching out to her. I don’t talk to my sister because I don’t enjoy her company. Everything she does or talks about is about curating her “perfect” lifestyle on her social media. She’s been getting free baby sitting from our mom whenever the hell she wants, but when she was divorced, it was always “It’s so hard being a single mom.” Like, bitch, our mother picks your kid up 4 days out of 5 after school and gives you free baby sitting 2-3 weekends a month. Not to mention financial support. When are you actually doing the mom things? Also, both your oldest and your new husband’s oldest kids both dropped out of high school and were allowed to spend ulimited hours playing video games prior to and before that happened. When were you ever a parent? Anyway, I’ll stop before my reply is longer than your post.
You’re allowed to not like, or even not talk to, family.
You don’t choose your siblings. You do choose your friends. Simply having the same parents does not mean that you will develop a positive relationship with a sibling.
FWIW my sister was seven years older and I (M) never had a good relationship with her. While our parents were alive I participated in family gatherings and generally limited my direct interaction with my sister. Once our parents passed away I never had anything to do with my sister.
NTA. It’s like walking on eggshells with her, “Is today the day she snaps?” And it’s always little things, like bath and body works? Really?
NTA. Honestly, your sister sounds exhausting. You’re not “bad” for starting to dislike someone who constantly shuts you down, makes snide comments, and acts ungrateful.
NTA, dude. Nobody’s obligated to like toxic ppl, even if they’re fam. Sounds like she’s got issues she’s deflecting onto u. Maybe try distancing urself a bit. Peace of mind > keeping up appearances. Just my 2 cents. Keep ur chin up! 👊
NTA. You’re not obligated to like someone just because you’re related. She’s dismissive, rude, and clearly not interested in building a healthy relationship. You’re allowed to protect your peace, even if that means backing away from a toxic sibling.
Too much work, and you are not even being paid.
NTA just because you’re related doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with someone. Some people just aren’t worth your time or energy and if you weren’t related to her, would you feel like you had to make the effort?
NTA… it sounds like your sister’s being a real piece of work lately. Maybe she’s dealing with some deep-seated issues, who the hell knows? All I can say is, you gotta take care of yourself in this toxic dynamic. Can’t be pouring emotional energy into someone who’s just gonna drain and disrespect you. Set those boundaries, love, because your sanity’s worth more than any familial obligation.
… Anyway, that’s my two cents. Hope it helps somehow.
NTA
You don’t have to like someone just because you are related.