so. my (19m), brother (22m), is really mad at me, but i think i’m pretty goddamn justified here. but i figured i’d put this here so i can either shove it in his face that i’m right, or i guess apologize if i’m not. im not above apologizing if i’m the asshole here
context: my brother has a friend, let’s call him J. My brother is still living at home for college since there’s a pretty nice one in our town, so he’s always bringing home his college friends, especially J. it’s like they’re attached at the hip. They met my brother’s freshman year and i have *never* liked J. he’s a typical party-heavy college student, encouraging my brother to focus on barhopping and skirtchasing rather than school. he acts like his glory days were as a middle school bully, but my brother seems happy to finally have a really close friend so i try to just be happy for him.
However, i seem to be a favorite target of J’s, since i’m a quiet nerd, which according to him is a horrible atrocity. he often acts repulsed when i enter the room, and tells me i “have a face only [my] mother can love”. he does so many little things, like mocking my speech patterns, telling me i’ll never pull any bitches (im gay but he doesn’t need to know That!), etc. if i try to tell him to stop he mocks me for it, and if i tell my brother he just says that “how he is” and if i don’t like it should avoid him, but it’s hard when they’re both in the house so often, especially now, leading to the main incident here-
i found out recently from stuff my brother said on the phone that J’s mom cheated on his dad with a *much* younger man, who just so “happened” to be one of J’s friends. this resulted in a huge blowout, and apparently his mom picked her new boytoy over J and his dad, and kicked them out of the house while saying some nasty stuff, especially to J. it’s resulting in a really messy divorce, which is why J’s been over pretty much every night lately. i felt bad for him at first, but it’s all made him double down on bothering me, even sometimes pretending that he Happened to be outside my room when i come out so he can bug me until i go back in (my room is thankfully the one place he doesn’t feel entitled to in our house)
earlier today, J was over and ONCE AGAIN was bothering me, just doing his usual shtick of nagging at and antagonizing me while i was trying to just make myself some food. He was telling me how ugly i was and how i clearly don’t take care of myself (i mean. he’s not *wrong* i guess) and he jabbed a finger in my face and said “you have a zit riiiight There” and then flicked my face. Again, middle school bully level shit.
I finally got so fed up i snapped, and yelled at him. i ended up saying since his mom like’s them so young, i’d bang her and give her a son she could actually love. J was absolutely furious and looked like he wanted to punch me, but my brother herded him out of the house before he caused a scene. Now J is couch surfing since he also apparently got in a fight with his dad, and refuses to talk to my brother at all.
my brother said he gets why i don’t like J, but that i took it too far by bringing up stuff that happened so recently. am i *really* the asshole?? i feel like if J can dish it out he should be able to take it, too and i’m fed up with him being over so much, but sometimes my emotions get the better of me so maybe i did take it too far
Comments
Honestly, he had it coming. Yeah, it was harsh, but he’s been pushing you nonstop. Sometimes snapping is the only way people listen.
Nta . He fucked around and found out . You can only back someone into a corner so much until they snap .
NTA, but you have a terrible brother he knows you are getting bullied by his friends and he does nothing? Tell your brother since he’s a terrible brother and that you won’t actually protect you from bullies like an older brother should you will defend yourself. Then bring up your bullies family every time he acts out. Is this why your parents abandoned you? I feel bad for your mom with a son like you no wonder she abandoned you. If your brother is giving you shit for it ignore him just like he told you. And tell him you are going to take his advice and use it on him
NTA but would say it was a bit harsh, he clearly had it coming as you cannot go about life antagonising people and being hurtful to people without repercussions, maybe next time J will think before he acts/says things to people. Lesson learnt in my eyes.
Jay is exactly how you described him. They always are. He absolutely deserves it. As you said, if he can dish it then he can learn to take it. He’s being a baby now because someone finally gave him a little taste back.
NTAH
NTA. Sounds like he got exactly what was coming to him. He finds your weaknesses and tries to use them to bully you, and you just gave him a little taste of his own medicine. If he can’t take it, he shouldn’t dish it out! J AND your brother are both the AH here. Kudos to you for finding a great comeback to this oversized, immature bully!
NTA He was offensive to you in your own home – what kind of guest does that? He can’t take the same level of crap he dishes, so typical bully. I’d say he’d go crying to his mom about the insults, but yeah – that options out, and his dad decided he didn’t want to put up with J’s crap either.
He can always get a part time job and live in college dorms – but that would cramp his style. Next time suggest he moves in under a local bridge, like the troll he is.
NTA. He acted 13, you roasted him like he was. He earned that one.
NTA, at some point you were going to snap, you probably have not been the first and won’t be the last if he doesn’t change. Words hurt, as much, sometimes more, than fists, so you at least didn’t go that route. You ended the bullying successfully so take that as you solved a problem. Maybe in the future he won’t be so mean to people, you could have helped him grow up some. It was very mean and cruel but in your defense, he pushed you too far.
NTA.
Also, LOL!
NTA, that douche nozzle completely deserved it.
Tell your brother that J is no longer allowed in your house as he does nothing but bully you, and while you may not have the power to prevent him from coming in, if your brother doesn’t respect your boundary you will lose all respect for him and it will permanently damage your relationship.
It’s funny when bullies get bullied and then act all butt hurt. If you were antagonizing a dog to the point it bit you, is it the dog’s fault?
NTA
Absolute S tier comeback to him too. Fuck that guy.
NTA – the reality is someone should have stopped the harassment a long time ago.
Like go higher up to parents so that guy wasn’t even allowed over
Good riddance
Hahaha, nice job… NTA..
NTA. Like at all. Bullies only understand one thing and that is strength. So be prepared to be a lot stronger with this freeloading asshole in the future. Like put lipstick on your dick and tell J that’s his mother’s shade. Stuff like that, the next time J gets in your face.
Technically, by flicking your face, J committed assault and battery. Weak but still he touched you in a confrontational manner. Call the cops next time, swear out charges and put the fear of God into him. Maybe J is going through a rough time but that’s not YOUR problem and you deserve to feel safe in your own house. Outside of that, your parents will need to get involved before this melts down into something worse.
J is a powder-keg and he’s going to blow. Do you really want to be in the epicenter when that happens? No, you don’t. Be proactive now.
And do not take shit from any peace-nik enabler on this sub-red saying you should be a kumbaya with J. That ship sailed when he flicked you in the face. You’re all grown men now and J needs to grow up. Middle school was a long time ago and actions have consequences and it’s time J learned some lessons they don’t teach in college.
NTA,,, HAHA You are awesome!!! Stay YOU!!! And don’t take shit from anyone!!!
NTA. So, looks like J is just a little wuss who can dish out non-stop harassment but, wow, once something is said which he does not like and, wow, he gets all hurt and mad and pouty. What an AH.
Speaking of AHs, what is up with your brother for allowing this cretin to constantly be a total jerk to you?
NTA tell your brother careful because hanging out with AH’s will get you tarred with the same brush
Throw apples at a beehive and one gets stung.
I think J has a crush on you, bro.
Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. That’s pretty basic shit.
NTA that was such a sick burn dude holy shit 10/10
What he is going through right now is horrible! But that’s never an excuse to take your crap out on other people. FAFO
Don’t let me see if I understand this guy who always bullies you even though you asked him to stop and not to stop, he was pissed because you lightly returned everything he caused to you.
Well, as the phrase says, those who are bothered should change, tell him if you were bothered by something and didn’t like it, he’ll leave and don’t come back if he’s going to meet his brother outside of his house.
NTA he got what he deserved. He might be struggling with that’s happening at home but that’s never an excuse for taking it out on others.
Your brother is also an AH for never putting a stop to J’s behaviour towards you.
He’d snapped every nerve in your body by that point so you gave him both barrels.
Well done to you. Maybe now he’ll leave you alone. It’s shocking your brother hasn’t had your back.
J was throwing stones in his glass house& ended up breaking a window🤷♀️ that’s not your fault. He should have acted better
Yeah don’t fire shots at people when your weaknesses are so exposed. NTA he had it coming.
NTA – he’s been asking for it.
NTA. Your brother is terrible for not defending you in your own house.
Your brother is messed up is he in love with J is that why he allows that POS to treat you like crap
NTA. The guy wouldn’t quit no matter what you tried, so you had to go for the jugular. He got what he asked for. He should be on his best behavior these days, since he’s dependent on charity. Really creative comeback, BTW.
NTA. Let your brother know J is a chicken shit little b who can dish it out and can’t take it. If he wants to fuck around eventually he’s gonna find out.
And he found out his friend is fucking his mom. How about dem apples.
NTA or justified asshole. Sadly I think your brother is probably like J. You know that old saying “show me a man’s friends and I will tell you about that man’s character.”
I’d tell your brother he’s a big boy and it’s time to nut up – you’re his younger sibling, he should be on your side and defending you here; if he’s so desperate for friends that he puts up w/the bullshit from this dunce, he’s in for a long adult life. It’s time for him to be a man or cower and be a follower the rest of his life.
As far as the bully, def NTA – he’s just a typical POS bully; he can dish it, but as soon as you put it back to them, you “crossed the line”. The fact that you held out for so long should be a commendation on your part, but fuck that and don’t apologize – keep giving it to him.
Where was your brother when J was harassing you nonstop?
NTA
You were supposed to take his abuse? In your home?
Nope.
I feel for him a tiny bit. I mean it’s gotta suck finding out your mum is leaving your dad for one of your frat bros but that does not give him an excuse to take it out on you.
He’s going to be the guy at a reunion who “pranks” people while wearing his letterman jacket.
Your brother is a pos too. His “friend” was bullying his own brother in his own home and he was just like ” that’s how he is”.
Well played.
Tell your brother to stop being a weak assed, pandering bitch. You sure you’re the gay one? Your bro seems to be really going out of his way bending over for J. If bro knows your gay, toss that one at him
And mull this one around in your head…. If you married his mom, you’d be his step dad. So maybe next time you escalate. “If decide to make an honest woman out of your mom rather than just fucking her for fun, maybe I could be the good father for you that you never had. You know, teach you the manners and respect for others which your real dad failed to instill in you?”
You found one of his most sensitive emotional vulnerabilities. Your mission now is to relentlessly attack that vulnerability until “J” either goes away, or learns how to behave.
It is a sad situation for J – his parents are AHs, and they have ‘raised’ him to be one, too. His future is totally f*cked, unless he gets years of therapy.
Your brother is being a nice guy by befriending this AH, but that is a dangerous road. With all the crap going on in J’s life, his emotional stability is at risk, and when young men go off the rails, it can get dangerous very quickly. I hope your bro has good judgment, because J’s issues could spill into your brother – terminally f*cking his life up.
OP, look up grey rocking. It is a communication technique you can use on bullies like J.
NTA.
Ah karma served right for that prick. Good for his mom fcking one of his friends.NTA your brother I’d. He rather put your feelings aside as a brother for a “friend”.
NTA.
NTA Don’t start shit, won’t be shit
NTA
But to really take this to the pro revenge level hook up with his dad.
NTAH
But the biggest AH here is your brother for constantly bring that jerk knowing how he treats you in your own home.
NTA. He got what he deserved. Your brother sucks for not telling that asshole to knock it off.
NTA, your brother should have shut his idiot friend up. Not your problem.
NTA, don’t bother feeling bad for Jay either, his problems are his own and he’s the one trying to make them yours. If he doesn’t wanna get insulted he should go around being an ass.
NTA.
your brother is TA for not sticking up for you.
From now on, whenever he tries to bully you, you must address him as “son.”
Harsh but it was warranted. As an adult he should be able to manage his mouth and grow up. It’s not funny to put people down constantly. Then eventually someone snaps back and feelings get hurt.
You are not the asshole but your brother sure as hell is.
Is your brother so insecure? He doesn’t realize that a guy like J will keep any decent people away from him? This is the type of friend that drives families apart. And not just his own. He just destroys everything he touches. Be careful because if your brother is dumb enough to bring him around a physical escalation isn’t far behind.
What do your parents say about all this?
NTA, keep up the jokes everytime you see him, if he attacks you, instant police complaint. Make sure to not attack him back or say that shit outside alone near him. He sounds like a loser on the brink of a breakdown.
Oh and your brother sucks.
Pretty good comeback for a quiet nerd. Well played
NTA
J is in his 20s and behaving like a middle school bully. I get his parents’ divorce was brutal, but J is an adult and needs to act like one. You were going to snap back at him sooner or later.
Well deserved killshot. NTA. Bullies love dishing it out but can’t take coming back.
NTA. Hahaha hahahahaha!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Just NTA.
NTA