Any time I eat any food my co-worker makes a comment. Something along the lines of: “What you go there? Where did you get that? Oh, I love *insert whatever I’m eating”. Not only is it annoying but she also interrupts my break. I eat at my desk because I use my half hour lunchtime to go on a walk.
For the most part I just give a quick answer in hopes she walks away. But lately she’ll have to have full conversations with me while I’m eating. I’ll be sitting at my desk, and she’ll be standing in front of me. It’s not just when I eat my lunch, but if I open a bag of chips or pop a can of soda. Like clockwork she comes over, makes a comment and hovers. At first, I thought she was hungry, but she always has snacks at her desk. She only does this to me because we share a cubicle wall.
The worst is when she starts recommending restaurants or grocery stores that sell something similar. So, then she’s asking me follow-up questions if I’ve been here or there to try various dishes. Meanwhile I’m trying to enjoy my lunch while she expects answers while I have food in my mouth.
Things came to a head when I got food from the food truck at work. I sat down and put hot sauce on my tacos. Just after I take a bite, there she is, “ohhhh what’s that?”
I didn’t realize that the tacos were hot, so my mouth was half open, grease from the meat was running down my hand, I got hot sauce on my lap, and she was standing there looking at me. Didn’t even offer me a napkin.
I set my food down and walked to the break room to wash my hands and get water from the fridge. I drank some water and went back to my desk, and she was waiting for me. She asked me what I was eating, and I bluntly just said “tacos.”
Then she goes on rant about a Mexican restaurant down the street and asks if I’ve been there. She asked if I like guacamole. She asked if I’ve ever had horchata… A line of questioning while I was trying to just eat my food in peace.
Finally, with food in my mouth I ask her, “can you leave me alone while I’m eating?”
Her whole demeanor changed after that, and she didn’t speak to me at all that day. Then the next day she didn’t bother me during my lunch. The rest of the week was lovely. I was actually relaxed while I ate my food.
Then another co-worker came up to me and said I had really hurt my co-worker’s feelings. She was telling everyone I was rude to her and told her to leave me alone. I didn’t really deny it and honestly, it’s been nice to not have someone watching me eat every day.
But of course, the office thinks I’m an asshole and could have been more kind when I told her. I told someone else I work with if she was doing this to them, they would understand. Everyone told me I handled it wrong and could have said something, “nicely”.
So AITAH for wanting to enjoy my lunch in silence?
Edit: I get a 30 min break and 2 15 min breaks. I use the 2 15 min breaks to eat. Also, our break room doesn’t have anywhere to sit, its just a refrigerator and sink. Because of this, everyone in the office eats at their desk, including my boss and my boss’s boss. Our only option is a cafeteria on the other side of the building.
Comments
NTA. It’s not your fault she can’t read social cues. She needed to be told.
NTA. There’s a difference between making friendly small talk and turning someone’s lunch into a daily Q&A hostage situation.
You gave her polite, short answers for a long time. You didn’t blow up on Day One — you endured it until it hit the point where you literally had grease and hot sauce dripping down your hands while she stood there narrating your tacos. That’s not “being friendly,” that’s ignoring basic social cues.
People love to say “you could have said it nicer” because they weren’t the ones being interrupted every single time they tried to eat. But the truth is: polite hints stop working when the other person doesn’t respect boundaries in the first place. Sometimes the only language people understand is the direct one.
She’s embarrassed now, sure — but she also finally stopped doing the thing you asked her to stop. That’s not cruelty, that’s setting a boundary that worked.
You’re allowed to eat in peace. The “office lunch commentary squad” will survive without the daily food monologue.
A simple line of
“in my family it’s considered rude to interrupt someone when they’re eating, also considered rude to speak when eating, conversation is for before and after, not while eating especially when you can see my mouth is full.”
NTA. TIP- get some cheap earbuds, put them in before getting your food, ignore her and if asked go off on your favorite Mongolian throat singer or Andean nose whistler
ESH – Should she try to talk to you the whole time and every time that you are eating? No. But at that same time if you “want to enjoy your lunch” without any kind of interruptions then eat on your actual lunch break.
NTA. I eat at my desk, too, and I also got to the point where I had to be blunt with a lovely—albeit gabby—co-worker. Luckily, she understood and actually respects my lunch break now. She knows she’s clear to come back with questions/conversation when the lunch bag goes away.
I’m sorry your co-worker is socially dense about this, but I’m thrilled you’ve had peaceful lunches recently.
She’s lonely. Tell her to get a cat to share her stories.
NTA-you probably could have said it nicer, but she didn’t pick up on all the social cues you were giving her, so something had to be said.
Didn’t taco bell make a commercial out of this situation. Sounds like ur coworker has food envy. They want their food but they want ur food also. But nta if you don’t want to be bothered on your breaks that shouldn’t be a problem
NTA
Unfortunately your co-worker is rude and someone like her wouldn’t have accepted a polite hint or subtle hint to go away.
They just lack the awareness to begin with. If she had any awareness (or manners) she wouldn’t have imposed on such a regular basis to begin with.
The only thing you can do with those types is match energy. Unfortunately that lack of self-awareness on their part doesn’t allow them to take accountability for the response you had. Instead of her saying to herself, damn, I do always bug him when he’s trying to eat lunch, she did what they always do and played victim to anyone willing to listen in the office.
The office can get over it and they can talk to her while they are eating. You’re NTA and this will eventually blow over.
NTA. Don’t apologize. Enjoy your lunch in peace from now on.
If you feel you must, track down annoying co-worker, briefly apologize, and let her know in no uncertain terms that you hate when people bother you when you’re eating and that she is welcome to come over any other time.
And this is why I ate lunch in my car. I ate my lunch in peace and then took a nice walk.
Does she do that with everyone? If things are that tense in the office, maybe talk to her that “sorry if I hurt your feelings but I find it awkward to eat and talk at the same time, such as when you were asking me questioning while I was wrangling a messy taco. I was trying not to make a bigger mess. Even though I’m eating, I’m still to working and not clocked out for my lunch period. If that doesn’t work, chat with your manager how you should approach her. Your request is not unreasonable to a reasonable person.
I worked with someone like that. I started wearing headphones. Not playing music. Just to give the appearance I was. The trick was not even flinching when she’d call my name. She also told me once that watching me eat was like watching the Food Network. After I started with the headphones and me not “hearing” her she’d say, oh she can’t hear me.
NTA I cannot stand when in my break, the only time I get to choose if I talk to someone is then but a coworker talks to me.
I think clarifying her lie of omission, that you told her to leave you alone while eating, should help with the side-eye. How is she working if she is gabbing at you?
NTA Your office is welcome to entertain her during their lunch breaks if they care so much. Enjoy your peace, OP.
Info: You use your lunch break to walk. So that means you’re eating while you work? Why isn’t she working?
I think waiting until you get angry and blowing up is never the best way to handle things. Especially at work. You’ve been answering, so she thought it was ok to keep asking (why she thought it in the first place makes me wonder if you’re a different ethnic group so she treats everything you’re eating like a novel mystery,)
This suggestion has nothing to do with her rudeness and everything to do with turning things around at work.
Ask the next person if you can get some guidance from them. Tell them what’s been happening. She comes every day. She asks running questions. I can’t eat. What would you suggest I do? If you seem like you were at your wit’s end and didn’t know what else to say, they’ll probably start to tell your story to the others.
NTA
It’s not your fault she was unable to read the room. It’s also not your responsibility if her feelings got hurt. She is a co-worker, not a family member. Enjoy the fact that she is done annoying you. In a week or so, there will be something else going through the office gossip machine, and this will become just another nothingburger.
YTA for eating your lunch while you are supposed to be working and especially in an area where everyone can smell it and hear you munching and crunching.
And don’t say you can work and eat at the same time because that’s BS. It is a distraction to you and everyone else around you.
Eat it in the break room where everyone else eats. If it cuts into your walk. Too bad. Walk in the morning or after work.
You will probably be hearing from your manager or HR. They are paying you to work while at your desk, not using that time to extend your break to eat and include a walk.
This is what happens when somebody just doesn’t take the hint. You didn’t answer her but that didn’t penetrate her skull. After trying to be polite for so long, you finally blow, although I’d call what you did a poof. It never occurs to these people that you might not be thrilled with their presence, so you have to be blunt to get them to back off. Then it’s a big tragedy.
NTA. I’d sit with you. Without talking.
Yep, time to play annoying coworker. You have her act down pat. Go to the coworker who had to share info you had no need to know and let loose. My guess is she’ll tell you off before lunch on day 2 ends.
Something to think about. If anyone is talking about you, it’s none of your business and anyone telling what is said is just stirring the pot.
Once you realize what they are doing put your hand up and say stop. Say if so and so has something to say to me, they can come say it to my face. If they don’t want that, I don’t need to know about it.
They won’t like it, not your problem.
Updateme
YTA because you let it fester until you snapped instead of dealing with it from the beginning like a mature adult.
You should have kindly told her it bothered you after the first time or two.
>She asked me what I was eating, and I bluntly just said “tacos.”
Next time, answer “Food.”
My MIL used to call us, and the first thing she’d ask was, “what did you have for dinner?”
I HATED it. To me, it’s such a stupid thing to talk about, your ordinary food. It’s not like homemade tacos for the 4th time this month is interesting. And it just underlined that there wasn’t anything interesting to talk about between us.
I started answering, “Food,” and then immediately saying, “Is there a reason you called?” And she’d get to the reason, and then I’d segue off into some more interesting topic of conversation between us.
I thought everyone would be talking about how the coworker was probably awkwardly flirting with OP, trying to get them to ask her out to one of those restaurants. Idk, would it be too off?
NTA…. Could you have handled it nicer… Probably…. But how?
“Hey I just really love eating all by myself… Sorry!!” Why should you have to apologize for something bogarting your space?????
“I just really feel goofy trying to talk while I’m eating…. Are you on break even. Hahhaha” would that end up being just as “rude”?
Idk how to be nice about something like this.
I thought everyone would be talking about how the coworker was probably awkwardly flirting with OP, trying to get them to ask her out to one of those restaurants. Idk, would it be too off?
NTA, but everyone else sucks, especially this bitchy coworker.
Her not letting you eat in peace is invasion of privacy.
Everyone else is the AH and a fucking moron
“…Not only is it annoying but she also interrupts my break. I eat at my desk because I use my half hour lunchtime to go on a walk….”
YTA-eat away from your desk during your 30 minutes. She is ‘bothering’ you while you eat because you are ”stealing time” from work & distracting her with smells & sounds in the cubicle area
Earbuds and loudly exclaim im sorry im on lunch and couldn’t hear you. Please come back after break. Anyone thinking you were wrong should offer to sit with her at break
I used to call it “explaining my lunch”. I hated it. You weren’t rude, your coworker is a clueless idiot.
NTA for wanting to eat in peace, but you could have said it way nicer. Back when you first realized this was a thing for her, you could have said “Actually I’m working while eating and need to focus. Thanks for stopping by!” The way you did it was all YTA.
You need to tell everyone that she has a history of interrupting your lunch time. She would not take hints about leaving you alone, so you had to ask if it was possible to eat in peace without her hovering over you. She was rude, and you got tired of it.
Pop in ear buds, even if you’re not listening to anything. Point at them every time she approaches while you’re on break and continue eating.
NTA. I’ve said ” i really like to concentrate on my food to get full enjoyment from it. can we have this conversation after i am done eating? thanks!”
ESH Your habit of eating at your desk forces your coworkers, especially the ones in adjacent cubicles, to smell your lunch and hear you eating.
Your coworker is socially clueless; she should have realized that she was interrupting your meal.
Who cares if you “hurt her feelings!” Homegirl can’t read a room.
> Everyone told me I handled it wrong and could have said something, “nicely”.
“I could have, yes. But I’ve been dealing with a constant barrage of questions and comments about food every. single. time. I eat something for MONTHS now. If I answer, she keeps talking. If I ignore her, she keeps talking. I finally had enough and yes, I asked her to leave me alone while I’m eating. Note the key word here: ASKED. Why, exactly, am I required to tolerate not being able to take a bite of food without commentary, judgment, ranting, or questions? I’ll apologize for my tone of voice, but not for asking her to leave me alone while I’m eating.”
I can’t bloody stand people commenting on my food. Buzz off if you don’t like my food.
I guess we learned from the government and from the media that handing people consequences for their bad behavior is the epitome of rudeness and EVERYBODY has an obligation to police the “offenders”.