I (34F) work in a small company where we’re all pretty close. One of my coworkers (39M) recently went through a divorce, and his 6-year-old daughter sometimes spends afternoons at the office until he can pick her up after school.
I’ve always been kind to her, brought coloring books, snacks, etc. but over the last couple months she started calling me “mom” whenever she sees me. I gently corrected her at first, but it kept happening. Her dad would just laugh and say something like “Well you’re better with her than her real mom!”
Yesterday I was slammed with work, and when she ran up shouting “Hi mom!” I said (calmly but firmly), “Sweetheart, I’m not your mom, and you can’t call me that.” She got really quiet and went back to her corner. Later my coworker pulled me aside and said I didn’t have to “crush her little heart like that” and accused me of being cold.
I told him it’s inappropriate and confusing for her to call a random adult in his office “mom,” and I didn’t think it was cute. Now some of my other coworkers think I overreacted. AITAH?
Comments
NTA at all, tbh. That’s awful uncomfortable and your co-worker really shouldn’t be encouraging it; not fair on you or the kid. Setting boundaries isn’t heart-crushing, it’s responsible. Your coworker needs a reality check fast.
YTA. Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?? She’s 6 and will grow out of it.
There are a number of ways this can be interpreted as weird behavior, none of which is good for anyone there. NTA.
Little kid: can I pway pwetend and call you mommy??🍼
This person: listen here you little bastard you get tf outta here…
NTA. You’re not responsible for him encouraging his child’s delusions. Obviously the child is craving a female motherly figure, but that’s not on you to foster. It’s incredibly inappropriate for him to allow her to do that without correction.
NTA. People having kids expect the rest of the world to cater to them and their kids. Sorry man, but that kid your responsibility and if I don’t feel comfortable being called mom, it’s perfectly acceptable for me to tell the kid not to call me that.
That said it’s likely a coping mechanism for this kid so you may want to take that into consideration before you act further.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
It’s not an innocent gesture. It’s a cry for attention and help. Daddio needs to help her handle the truth that her mom’s (allegedly) a deadbeat and needs to be there for her. Not let her continue the façade of calling you mom.
It’s harmless enough. Why don’t you have her call you Mrs. Mom instead? Might be a good compromise.
Yeah OP, you do suck for that one. It’s a little kid who’s gotta be stuck in an office all day, against her will, and you were the only person who was nice to her there… now she doesn’t even have you being nice, you basically told her yo f off to her face. YTA.
NTA, but how about suggesting, she call you “aunty” instead? Where I’m from, kids will refer to adults as aunties and uncles. It’s not as formal as Ms. or Mr. but it’s not mom either. Poor kid probably just wants an adult female figure to look up to.
>I told him it’s inappropriate and confusing for her to call a random adult in his office “mom,”
Ask the child who told them to call you Mom? Dad is probably behind this move to get you to help watch his whelp after school so he can work. Make it clear, dear.
Your co-worker likes you, he’s encouraging this in the hope you fall in love with his daughter and, eventually, him.
NTA, you need a serious talk with him
NTA. You’re being very reasonable. Like, maybe something like that would be cute once or twice, but eventually, it’s a problem. The father should be correcting it, and he’s either a giant push over that can’t correct his daughter, or he thinks it will endear you to him and his daughter and he doesn’t have a problem with that. Everyone else is being weird about it as well. They are all weird. You are normal.
Nta wonder if he’s actually been pushing that because it’s weird a kid didn’t stop when you brought it up multiple times
I can’t imagine how confused that child is with a Dad who actually says, “Well, you’re better with her than her real Mom.” She apparently has been saddled with parents who continue to fight their divorce by putting down the other parent in front of a vulnerable child. Well, Dad does anyway, which is wrong and immature. We’re not privy to what her Mom is doing. As a child of divorce, with a Mom who did this long after my Dad had died, my heart goes out to this little girl. Maybe you can continue to be warm and friendly to her and suggest that she call you Aunty or something else that is special. NTA, but her Dad is, imo.
Its dangerous to let kids beleive all adults can be called mom or dad. Its the exact opposite of stranger danger
Manipulation by proxy? Maybe he put her up to it. I am too suspicious sometimes.