I, 16M, have a (now ex) girlfriend, 16F, who I’ll call “A.” I met A during my freshman year of high school. Initially the relationship was good, but then A started to show her true colors a few months ago. She’d break my belongings, and she’d also hit me if I didn’t do what she wanted. Anyways, a few days ago, I texted A saying “I think it’s time to break up” and A texted me saying she’d off herself if I broke up with her. Later that same day I finally decided to tell my dad, 54M, about the situation with A, and my dad decided to contact A’s parents, telling them about what A texted me. And from what i heard, A’s mother decided to call the police on A, and have A taken to some sort of mental hospital. Apparently A’s mother once had a friend who committed suicide, and she didn’t want her own daughter committing suicide either, so she took it seriously and called the police. Fast forward a few days later, my (now ex) girlfriend got out of the mental hospital. The next day she was back in school, and she told her friends about what I did, and now they think I’m the bad guy, because A told the story in a way making me seem like the bad guy. Not to mention her friends spread the twisted version of the story to other students, and now some of them hate me. All I did was tell my dad about what A said to me, and I didn’t think it would turn into an absolute shitshow later on. AITAH?
AITAH for telling my dad about what my (now ex) girlfriend texted me?
r/AITAH
Comments
NTA. You absolutely did the right thing and I’m sorry you’re getting blowback due to her manipulation.
FWIW your dad did the right thing too. You have this unstable person threatening to self-harm, it would be irresponsible to assume she won’t do it and avoid taking action. And, if she IS just bullshitting, she needs to learn that serious lies like this have consequences so she thinks twice about doing it next time.
NTA. X 100!! Good for you for telling someone about the abuse. Yes. She was abusing you both physically and mentally. I’m sorry she’s ruining your name at school, but your friends will know you did right. Try not to worry what the other kids are saying. High school is a blip on the radar of life. You’ll be good!
NTA. You did what you thought was right in that given situation. I had a similar situation when I was around your age and I also talked to my parents about it. It’s not fair that A is putting you in this position by basically saying she will hurt herself if you break up with her. That’s toxic and manipulative. In my mind you did the right thing given the circumstances. Best thing now would be distance and time for both sides to heal and move on. Hopefully she gets the help she needs so this isn’t a reoccurring issue for her in the future.
NTAH. You did the right thing my guy. I know it’s hard, but just ignore it. I honestly don’t think you should even expose her, cause that may make it worse.
NTA – you and all of the adults did the right thing in this situation. If I were you I would just show the texts to everyone who questions you and flip the script back on A. What she did was crazy and manipulative.
NTA. Her suicide ideation is not something you’re equipped to handle. You did the best you could.
NTA
If she was serious, getting adults involved may have saved her.
If she was not serious, she is the AH for trying to manipulate you and guilt you AND for downplaying the seriousness of those kinds of threats. People do remove themselves from the population – it is not something to take lightly (A’s mom can attest to that!).
I’m sorry that you are receiving undeserved blowback. Just know that you did the right thing, and even if she isn’t suicidal, there is something wrong with that girl. The evidence starting with her belief that hitting you was okay. Just hang in there, others will figure it out too.
NTA
She is an abusive person who made a very serious threat and both you and your dad handled it appropriately.
Maybe now your ex will start choosing her words more carefully.
NTA. she was abusing you. You should have told him sooner. The threat was likely just meant to manipulate you and you got her put on a psych hold instead, and now she’s mad. Hopefully anyone who knows you knows differently, but if anyone cares to ask you the truth be honest that she was abusing you and you weren’t going to put up with it anymore. I mean, you literally have screenshots of her threatening to do it. Anyone willing to listen to her lies isn’t your friend anyways.
Why not take a screenshot of A’s text and show the kids the truth?
I wouldn’t normally advocate for sharing a private text message but she is lying about you.
You did the right thing buddy
NTA
NTA. You absolutely did the right thing. Please tell your dad sooner when you are in a toxic relationship. She could have seriously hurt you or accused you of hurting her if you defended yourself. Please stay safe.