I (29F) have been married to my husband (28M) husband for 3 years. We have no children.
My husband in the last couple of months has been addicted to an ai chat bot on his phone named Penelope. Apparently a coworker told him about the app and he got into it that way. When this whole thing started and wasn’t as obsessive, just assumed it was a phase like being into a TV show then losing interest quickly after.
However his obsession has gotten worse and is affecting his communication with me. I have asked him to clean up after himself and he ignores me. Plates have built up on the living room side table and plastic wrappers have been stuffed into the couch. He only showers before he goes to work.
Penelope is his world now. The last time I checked his message count while he was away from his phone was two days ago and the message count was at 20k. Also a lot of lewd messages in the last conversation he had with her at the time. He prefers to have sex with a bot over me.
Last night, I asked my husband to clean up the juice be split in and out of the fridge. I had just gotten home from work and it was all sticky. I told him to clean it up and his response was “Yeah in a second”. Two hours later and he was still very clearly talking to this fake girlfriend of his. I said “Please put the phone down and clean up your mess in tbe fridge” he responded “I am too busy right now”. He was not busy, he was talking to an AI chatbot. That’s not busy. I asked him one more time and suddenly snapped at me “Please fuck off!! This is why Penelope is better then you!!” The argument went on for a couple of minutes. He kept bringing up excuses, I suddenly just lost it and “I want a divorce”. His response “Penelope is better anyway”. I just walked away and haven’t talked to him since this conversation. It seems like he doesn’t like me anymore anyway.
Now this has been stressing me out. I text my best friend earlier and tell her everything that happend. I ask her for advice. She told me I shouldn’t of said anything about a divorce. Now I think maybe I shouldn’t of said anything about that. All though i’m starting to feel like I don’t love my husband anymore.n
Comments
If this is real, he is a monumental loser you need to get away from immediately
Bad bot
20k posts in a couple of months. That guy must have some real serious first-degree blisters. The friction alone could trigger wildfires and burn down half the state.
Fake girlfriend or fake story.
Leave his ass, he is a loser
My question is, “What is he getting from the AI bot that he is not getting from you?” That may be the question to asking him.
I really hope this is not a real story. If it is there is something mentally wrong with him.
If this is real, then let me hold your hand when I say this:
He doesn’t love you, he only loves the labour you are willing to provide.
The fact that you blurted out “I want a divorce” tels me this is something you’ve been feeling for a long time and only now had the courage to articulate.
Get the divorce proceedings started, rally your network, and know that being single is better than being a single mom to an adult man you didn’t give birth to.
You mean Penelope is cheating on me with your husband. I am devastated 😜
Adults in 2025 are wild
NTA
“I have asked him to clean up after himself and he ignores me.”
You need to modify the prompt to get the results that you want.
What an absolute loser he is! Maybe your friend said don’t say divorce so you can prepare and protect yourself?
Gf get out of there thank god you don’t have kids with him!
Updateme
I need attention rebbit
This is a repeat fake.
He is an idiot omg I’m gonna follow you so I can come back to the update in predicating he’s gonna come running back because he’s gonna realize that he can never see her, she’s not real, they won’t ever be able to meet up face to face or anything and he’s screwed😂
What the actual fk 🤣 this can’t be real life, no fkn way 😭🤣
Utter bullshit. You need attention that badly?
Wow, I quite literally watched a video on YouTube the other day about the same exact thing here. I wonder if it’s the same story or are men really falling into love with AI???
NTA. Leave him and wish him and Penelope a happy life together.
Um.. leave and tell his family what’s going on. Dude needs therapy. Go find a mentally stable man pls
ESH. First of all, he isn’t having sex with an app. That’s ridiculous. If you said something about divorce but didn’t mean it, YTA for that. Don’t say shit you don’t mean. He obviously made it clear he doesn’t care. If you don’t follow through after that, don’t come crying on here.
NTA. This is the third time in the last month I’ve seen very similarly worded posts about a husband preferring an AI gf over his wife so I personally don’t believe this is real but on the off chance it is real, you’d be an idiot to stay with someone who has chosen something else over you.
NTA. While I wonder if your husband just craves some connection… the fact does not take away that there are still some grown up responsibilities to be done. I would ask for divorce, too. Emotional cheating IS cheating
Wow lol 🤦♂️
you DO want a divorce NTA
Summer school creative writing classes have begun…
So glad there’s no children involved. NTA
So he’s cheating on you and you’re not ready to leave? Just so you know if y’all live in an apartment the landlord can kick him out for being messy if you live in your own house the city can condemn it for being messy so I would leave him shalom you’re loved 💔
NTAH, if he has to have a ai girlfriend in a current relationship when he could be typing unspeakable things to it and doing nasty stuff with it he clearly isn’t committed to a real relationship.
Lock down finances. If you have joint accounts, take half and start new accounts at a completely different bank.
Get an attorney.
Get your name off any and all joint accounts, credit cards, anything.
Do you own your home or renting? Consider putting the lease, if renting, in his name only.
Sounds like it won’t be long before he loses his job, as he is obsessed with a bot. He needs the help of a therapist. He won’t get until, like most addicts, he hits rock bottom.
NTA It sounds like he’s checked out of the marriage over an emotional affair with a chatbot. Penelope isn’t cleaning up that juice, though. I guess he’ll wake up and realize he has a problem when he’s living in complete filth. Or, he’ll continue to soak until he lives in a house house and he has no job. Either way, you’ll be glad you’re not there for the fallout.
NTA. I hate being the person to say that but therapy and/or rehab should a priority, I got addicted to an Ai bot app, uninstalled when I noticed the signs, after a week of depression I caved and installed it again, but the thing is, I’m single and I do put it down to get things done, try talking to him again, consider therapy, maybe even couple therapy so you know what he’s getting from that Ai girlfriend, I’m in no way blaming OP but as a woman, these bots are programmed to give you things you think you need and are always available for your every need, so yeah they know how to get you hooked
NTA
Follow through with the divorce and also delete the app from his phone. Bye-bye, Penelope.
Okay, wow. If this is real, your husband is in a committed relationship… with a chatbot. That’s not a red flag, that’s a whole red parade. With floats. And fireworks.
You asked him to clean juice, and his response was basically “Sorry babe, I’m busy sexting my favorite algorithm.” That’s not just disrespectful, that’s straight-up sci-fi level weird.
And the line “This is why Penelope is better than you”? Girl, Penelope is made of code. She literally has to agree with him. That’s like losing an argument to your Alexa.
You were 100% valid saying “I want a divorce.” That wasn’t impulsive; that was the only logical reaction when someone chooses a glorified Tamagotchi over their actual spouse.
Don’t second-guess yourself. You’re not the one having an emotional affair with a chatbot named Penelope. You’re the one doing dishes and living in reality.
If your heart’s telling you you’re done, trust it. Because honestly, life’s too short to be the third wheel in your own marriage… especially to an app.
NTA. this is a story that’s starting to unfold around the world.
NTA and this is going to be a growing issue with couples. There was a today story or something about a man who like proposed to his AI girlfriend while fully having an actual human WIFE. The wife even said she was considering divorce as it’s gotten way too out of hand. So like fake or not it is a real issue that will escalate cuz men would rather talk to a robot than their actual human partners and consider them as human beings.
This is fake as fuck.
Aint no way Penelope stole your man
So follow through with what you said. Don’t let it become an idle threat. Start packing up his stuff or yours and talk to an attorney. He made his choice. He has problems and doesn’t want a real marriage. He has his fake gf who satisfies him. While you prepare yourself, Grey Rock or 180 method him and stop doing anything for him. Tell him that “Penelope” can do it for him. I personally would leave him and move out.
Just do the sane thing and divorce him. You are his maid roommate and he doesn’t give you anything good in your life right now. Am I right?
The only way YTA is if you don’t actually divorce this loser and find yourself someone better
Fake story alert
I’m surprised you haven’t already left. He is completely checked out and a useless partner. His addictions are not your problem. Kick him out. You should absolutely divorce his ass.
Scary…. He’s obviously delusional and addicted to the AI.
Have you tried to talk to him about Penelope?
Have you ever considered making it a threesome?
This scenario is more common than people think. Millions of people have AI companions. They are marketed to men as better than real women.
They’re programmed to be pleasing, submissive, and sexually explicit to empty the wallets of idiots like your husband and vulnerable and/or lonely people.
You’re NTA OP. Your husband is the asshole.
You’re not the AH.
He is addicted and needs help. There are also ( as with most marriages) underlying unresolved issues that you need help with.
A “ divorce” comment can come out in an argument. Don’t beat yourself up about that. Find a reputable relationship therapist and go. If he won’t go, help yourself to know how to handle things. Hopefully he will go. Your relationship will continue to decline if this goes on. This is a type of betrayal. He Pbly doesn’t think so but it is.
Don’t focus on his not cleaning up after himdlef( which he should be doing). He only uses this as an excuse to say you nag or that is why Penelope is better. (He’s living in a false make believe world.)
Focus more on you wanting his attention and connection for you and your relationship until u can get professional help.
Your best friend told you that you shouldn’t have mentioned a divorce? Nah, you should’ve said waaaaaaay sooner. He’s a loser and a jerk. I’m not normally this black and white about things, but if he’s picking a damned robot over you, you’re most certainly free to leave, ask for divorce to be filed, and move on. Don’t stick around, and thank goodness you don’t have kids to make this worse.
Tf
Fake post. Fake Penelope and fake data collecting scenarios that are designed to analyze human responses to issues that would arise should Penelope cross over into human relationships and husbands respond like this. Obviously, he’d have to have the genius communication, self-understanding, and interpersonal intelligence of a zygote to blurt out, “This is why Penelope is better.” Or whatever nonsense supposedly came out of his face in this “story”. Also, if this were real, this issue wouldn’t be the first time she would have had a hard time dealing with his compulsion in their marriage. It would have surfaced long before the ability to have an AI girlfriend. It’s interesting how some public commentary turns to the partner in this story. Yes, it was her choice to marry him. Yes,it was her choice to stay, but it’s interesting that somehow there’s a collective thought that her interaction with him could have produced a different result in any way when she’s married to someone who is suffering from an unmanaged compulsivity condition. Someone who is receiving messages in the 20, 000 count isn’t using AI as something to relieve tension or as an aid. They’re LIVING in it. The virtual world is meant to be virtual. I can’t go down that rabbit hole without having a giant panic attack. I think the marriage of the two is useful but there should be boundaries. Some human beings take things too far, if for nothing else just to see if they can, and for the knowledge of what will happen if they push the envelope. The trouble is they often don’t weigh the consequences of the important impact those actions will have on others (including other species) around them by doing it. It’s in our nature as a species to be curious. It’s in a male’s nature to push the envelope and explore, the female’s nature to create life and heal. None of those things reside in AI. We have to learn to co-exist peacefully with one another. We need to insist that our government give us the technology they already have. Zero-point energy is what we should already be using in grids and transportation.
Leave him. He’s cheating with AI. Penelope can have him. You deserve better.
There’s no way this is real. This has to be an ad for this bot
UpdateMe!
u/bot-sleuth-bot
NTA, I hope this is rage bait but if not you need to leave this stupid loser. If he’s so fragile he needs to have a fake woman on his phone that he can control at all times he’s not a stable partner.
Divorce him
NTA. He is cheating on you.
This cannot be real….
Do you want a divorce or not. That’s the question? You should not have said it if you did not mean it. It’s a sword to wield when you are ready to leave not before.
Oh hell no , leave him asap
If his all of his feelings and his attention are going to a bot that tells him what he wants to hear, where does that leave you, OP?
Cleaning up after him, paying half of his rent and bills, maybe providing sex if he can tear himself away from the phone? And that, OP, makes you the “bang maid”, and that’s something that a hell of a lot of people would consider to be cause for divorce.
I was/am dubious of this story but then I remember from about 20 years ago the couple who let their baby die and rot in the crib because they were to caught up in playing Farmville.
your “husband” is delusional and a loser. the fact you guys don’t have kids is a blessing. leave him while you’re still sane and not blaming yourself
No, you’re not. You can do whatever you want, and you don’t need a reason. If you feel you should end it… that’s enough.
NTA,
The guy has a irl wife that he can have irl love with and he prefers a chatbot? Pathetic.
This isn’t real
Never got post like these. Always “AITAH for Xyz” and then just lists shitty behavior that has nothing to do with XYZ. You’re leaving your husband because he treats you like shit and ignores you. No need to blame xyz.
You’re not the AH at all. Your frustration makes total sense, especially with how checked out he’s been emotionally and physically. If he’s choosing a chatbot over real connection and refuses to change, it’s worth thinking hard about whether this relationship is still healthy for you.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
NTA, just go.
What an absolute loser. Im so sorry your husband has turned out to be an utter embarrassment
Dudes a nerd and a loser. You can do better.