My (27F) husband (29M) and I are expecting our first baby this fall. It’s a boy, and we’re over the moon.
When I told my mom, she immediately started crying and said it would “mean the world” if we named him after my older brother, who died 10 years ago. I loved my brother dearly, but I already have a name in mind for our son, one my husband and I both love, and that feels like our choice.
I gently told her that while I understand her feelings, we won’t be naming him after my brother. She got really quiet and then said, “You’re so selfish. How dare you erase his memory like this.”
Now my mom and my aunt are both saying I’m being cruel and inconsiderate of the family’s feelings. But… it’s my baby? AITAH?
Comments
NTA. Your baby isn’t a memorial service. Pick whatever name makes you happy.
“How dare you erase his memory like this?” said the woman who’s trying to replace him.
NTA
Your baby wasn’t conceived to honor the memory of anyone and he deserves a fresh name
But I understand your mother’s feelings so maybe use your brother’s as a middle name? Above all, because you loved him dearly?
if you don’t want to is fine. Your brother wont be ever forgotten, no matter if someone is named after him or not
NTA, not even close. Literally made me cringe. I know she’s hurting but that’s way over the line. Congrats on your son!
Call your kid what you want. They’ll stop the BS once the baby arrives and they want access.
NTA. Just another example of overly-entitled grandparents at work.
NTA it’s your baby. You literally grew it in your body. You can name it whatever you want.
My mom was fucking weird like this too and told me she would be furious if we named our baby girl Iris because she used to work with a woman named Iris she didn’t like. Like she was genuinely very mad at me so I just didn’t talk to her about it anymore and when I had my second baby I didn’t tell her about the name either lol.
So are they having the baby or are you having the baby? That’s your only response to their tw@tty behavior.
NTA.
If you and your husband had decided to name your son after your brother, that would be honoring him. Other family members trying to pressure you into it is creepy.
INFO: Did your mother (and aunt?) change her own name to be the same as your brother’s?
Or is it only your own child who doesn’t get to have their own independent identity?
Might be a cue to keep granny away from baby if she’s acting like this before he’s even born.
NTA at all, if you were to name your baby after your brother your mother would build a very strange bond with him, i can see it now.
She’ll treat your baby like her deceased son and build a very toxic relationship with him, i sympathise with her grief of losing her baby but your baby is not a replacement for him