AITAH for telling my mom she wasn’t the ‘better parent’ and that it sounded like heaven when she said she’d never talk to me again?

I (23F) and my mom (49F) have never really gotten along. Growing up, she treated me differently from my siblings. I’m the second oldest of four and she was always stricter and harsher with me.

If I brought home anything less than an A I got grounded. Even one B on an assignment meant trouble. My siblings never had that rule. On top of that she always commented on my weight. She called me the “fat kid” even though I was thin. She never said this to my siblings, just me.

As I got older I realized she liked getting a reaction out of me. At first I defended myself, but when I stopped, she escalated and even got physical. On my 18th birthday while I was still in high school she kicked me out. By then I was already staying with a friend most of the time just to get away from her.

Now, as an adult, I hardly speak to her. At family events we might exchange a few words but that’s it.

Recently I was at my sister’s place and she had my mom on speakerphone. I was in the background talking to my brother and he asked who I thought was nicer, mom or dad. Without thinking I said dad.

My dad wasn’t great either. He wasn’t around much and could be harsh, but compared to my mom he’s nicer. I also talk to him more, though not a ton.

My mom overheard, asked what I said, and I repeated it. She snapped and said she’d never speak to me again. I said, “You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing. Honestly, it sounds like heaven.” She didn’t hang up on me but ended the call on my sister, who was the one talking to her.

Later my sister texted me that my mom took me off her car insurance. I never asked to be on it anyway. She added me without telling me because it lowered her own rate. One day she just said, “Hey, I put you on my plan.” I didn’t argue, but now I see it was just another way to control me. She’s done stuff like this before. When I was younger she’d put my phone on her plan and shut it off whenever she got mad.

This time was the same. After removing me, she told my sister, “Since she thinks her dad is the better parent, let him put her on his insurance.” I never said “better parent.” I just said dad was nicer.

She also told my sister she hoped my car got impounded and that she could turn it off through OnStar. My car is fully paid off so I doubt that’s even possible, but the fact she said it was ridiculous.

I didn’t need her insurance anyway. Before she added me, I was paying for my own. After she removed me I just went back to mine.

Meanwhile my sister said I was too harsh and should apologize because “mom has done so much for you.” I asked what she meant and she said, “She put a roof over your head and gave you food and clothes.” That’s literally the bare minimum of parenting.

Now my mom has gone to my grandparents and aunts saying I was disrespectful and need to apologize. From my perspective, I just answered my brother’s question honestly.

So Reddit, AITAH?