My sister (f20) finished highschool in 2023 and spent the last years working and travelling, she’s planning to start college next year.
Mom (f51) has met a wealthy man (m70) through her job. He owns multiple properties and real estate in different countries, and even though she’s not fully in on his finances, it’s obvious that hes pretty well off.
Last week she’s introduced the idea that he could pay for my sisters college, in a trade off for her spending time with him on a regular basis. This was my moms idea, I‘m not even sure if the man is even fully in on this, since we‘ve never met him.
I told her that this idea is really weird and kind of creepy. She didn’t get my point at all and was like „it’s only fair that the wealthy support those who are less fortunate, we deserve this.“
For context: Her and my Dad (m56) are divorced, both of them aren’t struggling financially. Studying is basically free in my country, the only cost would be her housing, food and other living costs. She’s planning to work part time during college, so the required financial support from my parents wouldn’t be to much, and they could definitely afford it.
I’m trying not to think the worst of people, but I can’t imagine that this guy would pay a lot of cash on a random girl if he wasn’t at least expecting some „favours“ of her in return. That he would try to make inappropriate moves towards her, and guilt trip her if she rejected it.
So I told my mom that she essentially was trying to pimp out my sister to him, and she got incredibly offended. She said that I was the one calling my sister a prostitute, and that I was just jealous because I never went to college (I have landed a good paying job regardless, so no, I‘m not jealous)
My sister said she would consider getting to know him, but she felt weird about it. To me it seemed like she was just trying not to further upset my mom because me and her were already arguing.
I’ve received an angry text from my aunt since for disrespecting my mom by accusing her of something like that. Am I in the wrong here?
Comments
Nah you’re not wrong, that whole setup sounds manipulative as hell no matter how they try to sugarcoat it.
WHAT holy shit reading this was insane you are most definitely NTAH!!! It sounds like your mom is being naive to what this man wants and if school is affordable where you are there’s no point in your sister doing this… whatever your aunt texted you, ignore it. You made the right choice in bringing this up as a major concern especially for your younger sister. Is your mom going through something that would even remotely make her think this was an ok idea or is this super out of the blue???
Your mum absolutely is in the wrong and any man funding the life of a young women in return for “spending time together” expects a lot more than “spending time together”… As one example lets reference Cassie and Diddy. And Diddy’s other girlfriends.
Money doesn’t come for free to young girls in that position, and she would be sacrificing a lot more than her time. Your mum is despicable and the centuries proposed concept is disgusting.
“No mom, I’m not calling sister a prostitute. I’m calling you a pimp…. And that’s a nice word for what you are trying to do. Just because Jeffery Epstein is dead, doesn’t mean there is a vacancy.”
I’d be telling your dad
NTA
Nta,talk to ur sister and let her know she shouldn’t do this, no matter what mom may feels, while I want to give people the benefit of doubt I struggle to understand what other things this man would want to do with a girl young enough to be his granddaughter , better be safe than sorry
Nta that’s what pimping out is
I’m not sorry to say this but your mum is absolutely vile/disgusting for insinuating that pimping out her daughter is acceptable. That is EXACTLY what she’s attempting to do. A man who isn’t related to you or has zero familial connection is not going to fork out potentially tens of thousands of dollars without expecting something in return.
Sounds like mum had a WILD past. Does dad know?
Your aunt is not seeing reality. How is what your mum’s suggesting anything other than pimping?
Wtf!!!! Oh no what is this what she was thinking about making this decision. She is gross sorry to say. What a messed up human she is.
NTA “No mom, I’m sorry you got the impression that I called my sister a prostitute. I never called nor intended to imply my sister is a prostitute nor do I think of her as one. Rather, I think of her as a potential victim, and I’m CALLING YOU a lowly, despicable pimp.”
Yeah your mom is a creep and she is pimping out your sister. It is gross
NTA
WTF no! I wanna join the que for slapping some sense into your mum, and considering her idea here, I’ll need some back up, this will take awhile
NTA … your mother is a disgusting creature
Just eeewwwww!!!
How is this normal to OP’s mother?
NTA. Your mom is obtuse.
can I just say “ewwwww”?
What you mom does in her own life is one thing, but setting up your sister as his sugar baby is a whole different thing. A rich elderly man only wants a pretty young thing for one reason. You know it, I know it, the whole of Reddit knows it, and your mom knows it.
You’re not calling your sister a prostitute, (you’re calling your mother a pimp (sounds like it’s true as well).
NTAH
Shes 20…. not 10. If she fucks the stepdad for college tuition. Trust me its not the mother’s doing and that’s her grown ass decision. Anyone saying “tell the dad” what exactly do you think dad will do? Beat up the guy? Go to jail? Shes again… 20. Not of custody of EITHER parent. And shes allowed to have a sugar daddy if she so chooses. Its not prostitution unless every wife is prostitute.
YTA. And idc if im the only one to tell you the truth. If your sister has that much of an issue with this arraingement. Then she can either report it as cohersion. Or save for her own damn college like me and everyone else did.
What a way to find out your mom was once a sugar baby.
You’re NTA. Your mom is absurdly entitled to think the more fortunate owe her anything, and is crazy to push your sister in that direction.
Interesting… and gross. How’s your Dad feel about this?
Is your mum OK? Seriously? Can she not see what she’s doing. A 70yo man wants you to spend quality time with him and in return he will give you money. Its a sugar daddy. Your mums sick
Tell your dad and take your sister away from this monster. This kind of mother can only harm you and your sister. You have to think the worst.
Mind ur business you not paying it
NTAH given the facts you stated with free tuition in your country. Support your sister in her final decision. Can you loan your sister the money?