I’m 23 and my mom remarried two years ago to a guy named Rick who’s 41. I was never super close with him, but I tried to be respectful for my mom’s sake.
Last weekend my mom went on a short trip with her sisters and left Rick at home. I live nearby and stopped by to drop off a package she asked me to pick up. Rick was drinking and asked if I wanted to stay and have a drink too. I said no but he insisted.
Then it got weird. He started complimenting me in a way that felt way too flirty and then said something like, “if I were just a little younger…” I left immediately and felt sick about it.
I debated for a few days but ended up telling my mom. She completely shut down. At first she acted like she believed me, but then said maybe I “misread” things and that Rick would never do something like that. Now she barely speaks to me.
My aunt says I should have kept my mouth shut and not “brought drama into their marriage.” I feel awful, but also like I couldn’t just pretend it didn’t happen.
AITAH?
Comments
NTA, obv. Super weird that your mom is choosing to believe Rick. Hopefully you don’t live there.
NTA, hubby probably confessed being attracted to you, so mom cut ties with you to keep you away from him. She chose him over you. Sorry. But NTA
you’re not the bad guy for telling the truth. rick crossed a disgusting line and your mom is in denial because confronting him means questioning her marriage your aunt’s is worse they’d rather cover up harassment with silence than protect you. don’t apologize for exposing something he did. what would they have said if rick had escalated the harassment and you hadn’t told? it’s his fault, not yours. seek support from friends or therapy, because your family is failing you
You’re right to be upset, OP. NTA, of course, he shouldn’t have said what he did, and she should believe you.
You NTA. Your Mom have some issues not believing her own daughter
NTA. You were put in a gross, uncomfortable situation and did the right thing by telling your mom. You weren’t trying to cause drama, just being honest about something that crossed a line.
It’s not your job to protect her marriage, especially when her husband is the one behaving inappropriately. If it was somehow a misunderstanding, that’s still something they need to talk about so it doesn’t happen again.
NTA
You didn’t bring drama you brought receipts. Sorry your mom’s more pissed about the marriage looking bad than the fact her husband’s a sleazy creep hitting on her daughter. That’s not love, that’s delusion in denial with a side of daddy issues.
NTA? but your mother is.
NTA at all.
My mother would be livid if she wasnt told by me or my sisters. Because it has happened before and it disgusts us all. That person is part of your parental unit regardless of age or relationship, and they should act like a parent, not a disgusting POS.
Give your mom space. I think she knows you’re telling the truth but doesn’t want to admit it to herself. Just go l9w contact and hopefully she’ll come to her senses. If she’s so desperate for a man she lose you forever. Time will tell.
NTA
I’m sad your mom treated you like that but everything she gets she deserves moving forward. If Rick hit on you, he’s actively pursuing cheating on her. I guarantee it.
You did say he had been drinking, did you not? A guy who is slightly a good dude when sober will turn into a dude who is mostly not a good guy when liquored up.
NTA- Nefertiti isn’t the only Queen of Denial.
Secrets don’t help. You did the right thing.
When your mom can no longer ignore his behavior, things will probably be different. It is also better than how things would be if you didn’t tell her and she found out later.
You are definitely NTA. Your mom, her husband and your aunt are all a-holes. Make it clear that you will never be around him again.
NTA. It’s best to tell her immediately as my guess is his behavior would continue. And if you waited, you’d still be blamed .
Trust your gut and keep your distance
Exactly right she deserves what she gets . In the future anything she needs picked up let her get when she returns . Let her order her things when she will be around to get them . Stay away from him let them have their little life .
NTA. You did NOTHING wrong. Hopefully your mother just needs time to process the fact that she married a creep and will take appropriate action soon. Time will tell about that.
In the meantime, low or no contact for her! You keep standing your ground and speaking the truth.
NTA. I think it’s very common for moms to react that way, but it’s not right of her. My mom had the same reaction when I told her my step dad had crossed a line. She defended him and said it was in my head. It sucks when stuff like that happens. I know I felt really alone and doubted myself. I don’t have anything helpful to say, but just know you’re not alone. Your feelings are valid and you shouldn’t have to go through that. Your mom should support you and stand up for you.
AI shitpost.
Just understand that your Mom is choosing her man over you. Stay away from them both…
Definitely not the asshole. If you hadn’t told her and she had somehow found out, she would be accusing you of things that way
You had courage and you did the right thing
NTA if your mother wants to continue to make bad decisions then that’s her choice.
NTA. Rick is a predator and the alcohol brought it out. You told your Mom so it is on her. When he cheats on her, and he eventually will if he hasn’t already, try to forgive her cuz her heart will be broken and she will know that she should have listened to you, but stay away as long as he is in the picture. Don’t go over. Don’t ever be in his presence.
NT Maybe it’s time for NC with any of them. Live your own life and enjoy being free of them!
NTA and your aunt sucks just as much as your mother and stepfathers your whole family sound toxic AF. It will be better for you to lower contact with them and when your mother bitches about Rick cheating on her you’ll know you did what you could to minimize her pain. I mean I’d say I told you so but that is on you.
So you’re to blame for him being inappropriate with you!! It’s so sad when a woman wants to not believe her child and stay with a cheater. I’m sorry Op that you are going through this heartbreak 🙏🏻🫶🫂
NTA
Unfortunately your mom has joined that unenviable group of AH’s who so desperate for a partner they’re willing to sacrifice their relationships with those closest to them to keep it.
Your mom should have believed you and I’m sad for you that she didn’t but you can’t force her to believe you (deep down she knows that you are telling the truth) you now just have to protect yourself from moms husband and also your mom.
NTA! It is unfortunate that your mom has decided to put on her rose colored glasses and put up with this skeezy behavior. This will not end well for you mom.
Nta. I have a daughter your age, I would throw him out immediately and never doubt you. Your aunt and mother should be ashamed of themselves. Some women will do anything for d**k, even doubt their own children. If you mom married him when you were a teen, he probably would have molested you. I would cut my mother off for this