So, I have a SIL(f53) that after her kids had grown she went back to school, then got her Master’s then PHD in literature. Let us say her name is Elizabeth. We were all proud of her doing this. She has recently working part time at the library and part time online professor at the community College. The family has not had a big family gathering for years it seems. My kids were just getting into their teens. Our entire family has called her “Beth” for 36 yrs. Of course our kids called her aunt or auntie Beth. Even after her Master’s degree. So our kids and a couple of my nephews went to give her a hug and said “Hi Aunt Beth you look great”. She told them “don’t you know it is rude to call someone with a PhD by their first name or “aunt”. You will address me as Doctor Elizabeth Jones( her maiden name). ” My one nephew said “you are our aunt, not our doctor”. It was then she pulled my brothers and I aside and said to teach our kids some respect because Aunt is childish and regardless of relation, someone with a doctorate should be addressed as doctor and her legal name she was born with. I told her that it was fine in a public place or if they see her at the library, but one, they only knew her as Beth and most of them didn’t know she started using her maiden name again. No they are not separated. I guess she hyphens the last names but for years signed letters etc as just the family name.
She ended up telling her husband, my brother “Tim”, it was time to go and that they were not going to any more family functions because his family cannot use professional etiquette. Tim told her he would say goodbyes and be right out to the car. He came and apologized and said she has been this way since she started teaching. He even said she won’t let him call her Beth.
Were we wrong? If knew it before we would have reminded everyone.
AITAH for telling my SIL that family shouldn’t have to call her “doctor” just because she now has a PhD?
r/AITAH
Comments
> she won’t let him call her Beth
NTA. She sounds crazy.
lol wut? I mean my official title is “Mrs”, but I don’t demand family call me it lol
I willing to bet King Charles lets his sons call him Dad
I have a doctorate. My nephew calls me Auntie (or occasionally “poopypants” or something like that – he’s two). Works for me.
She wants to be called by her professional name in a non professional setting, that doctorate made her head too big.
NTA
I would keep asking medical advice
After my phd I specifically tell people NOT to call me Dr. I also enjoy people not knowing I am a nerd with a phd in chemistry. Rather them think I am just this big dumb bear walking down the street 😂 Idk why I find it amusing.
NTA, she’s batshit crazy
NTA she got herself a big ego now.
NTA. Family functions aren’t a professional space, so there’s no reason to use professional etiquette. It’s appropriate to call her Dr. Jones at the library or if you take her course, but not around the family dinner table or holiday gathering.
She’s weird.
NTA. Every time I am around her I would ask: What’s up Doc?
NTA she’s an entitled while well educated asswipe.
Sounds like Beth is having a midlife crisis with a side of post menopause for good measure.
Speaking as a college prof surrounded by PhDs titles are only used in “professional” settings. Beth sounds like maybe she’s having a bit of postdoc letdown. SO many years of work and she’s just adjunct faculty at a CC and part time work at a library.
Does she really make her husband call her “doctor”?
Yeah no. The vast majority of us in the West save that title for our work life. I’ll admit to using it a coupla times when I was younger in a very frosty way when some stranger I didn’t know was being an AH and dismissing what I said about my exact area of expertise, but I don’t even do that anymore. In my ideal world, everyone who is a master/mistress of their trade would still have titles like they did when all skilled up and practiced with guilds, like Master Blacksmith or Master Plumber (not kidding, I couldn’t plumb a sippy straw despite my fancy schmancy degree and am so impressed by those and other skills, like electrician, computer expert, etc.). But even that wouldn’t require kids or anyone in the family to use the title. ETA NTA
She sounds insufferable. I know tons of people with doctorates. They only ask to be called doctor (or professor) in the workplace.
NTA. A Ph.D does not negate being on a first-name basis with people. If she wants to withdraw being on a first-name basis with family and friends, I suppose that’s her prerogative, but that’s going to damage her relationships with all of these people. I suspect that she doesn’t really care about that.
NTA
Well, she certainly got her “Piled High & Deep” degree. Most doctors aren’t that stuck up and self aggrandizing. It speaks to her personal insecurities that she can’t stand to feel equal and equitable to her family.
NTA
I used to read Gas Meters. And n my town was a College that, Historically, was an African American University. It actually still had tunnels running beneath it during the Underground Railroad. I remember seeing the full name of a customer whose title in the account was (fake name) Dr. Mary Jones. But I could never catch her home to read her meter which was locked behind her fence. One day, I rang the bell and she answered. I read off her name & told her my first name and the gas company name. She was so sweet when she interrupted me and told me I didn’t have to call her doctor.
I put my hand on my hips and said, “you worked hard for that title and to get to where you are at right now. And I am going to call you by what you deserve to be called, Dr. Jones. I think it would be disrespectful of me otherwise.”
She gave me a small smile and didn’t say anything else. But I can tell that she appreciated my compliment to her.
NTA While we jokingly tried to teach our kids that it was “Dr professor grandma” when their grandmother got her Phd, it was a JOKE, and no, the kids don’t call her that. Nor does she expect them too.
Hell, I called most of my university professors by their first name in second year classes and beyond. That was their preference.
I got my PhD in theology about 25 years ago. I’d rather be called “auntie” or “granny” over “doctor”.
NTA
“[…]They were not going to any more family functions because his family cannot use professional etiquette”
-So wait, she’s not coming to family functions, or business/professional functions with you anymore?
NTA. She’s a nutcase 🤣 I’m friends with a cardiothoracic surgeon( one of the specialties known for having a god complex and being arrogant- which describes hi.) and he doesn’t make anyone call him Dr outside of anything work related.
My wife has a PhD. She does not want anybody to call her Dr. The only time she insists on it is when she’s trying to insult somebody. And she makes that clear at the time.
And family? Are you joking? She needs to have her ego taken down a few notches.
NTA
Wth did I just read? Are there really people like that out there?! I would have laughed. How is this person serious?
NTA, she sounds insufferable. Hopefully they divorce soon and he gets a nicer wife.
She will soon be publicly shamed by all of her close relations/friends until she either gets the stick out of her ass or because a single cat lady with no one but strangers that address her… And good luck to her to get an MD or DO to ever call or consider her a Dr. 🤣
Thank god she’s gone, phew! She took herself away, happy days. 😊
Oh. Lord. Someone is a little too full of themselves. NTA.
NTA. If she isn’t careful she’s gonna be very lonely. If my wife insisted on being called doctor by me I would just laugh at her and tell her that I’m amazed she can get through the door because her ego has gotten too big.
My BIL has a PhD in Athletic Training, and he joked we should call him Doctor. My kids called him Uncle Doctor once and that was it. 😆
NTA
If she’s not their Aunt anymore, why would she want to come to family functions? Does she want to be Doctor Elizabeth OR does she want to be Aunt Elizabeth? She’s the one who said it can’t be both.
This is ridiculous. It’s vain to insist on anybody calling you “Doctor,” much less your family. NTA.
Unless they are my professor and insist on it, I am not calling anyone with a Ph.D. doctor.
Oh, good grief. It appears your SIL has contracted PhDitis. The most common symptom is the onset of patronizing self-importance and the inability to differentiate between the professional and the personal. She’s won’t even let her own husband call her by her name? What a peacock!
She’s full of it. It’s actually incredibly rude to insist on “professional etiquette” in a situation far removed from a professional setting with family who have only ever known her as “Beth” or “Aunt Beth.”
Don’t indulge this preening condescension. It’s absurd. And more a sign of her insecurity than anything else. My husband is a patent attorney and his law partner has a PhD. No one at the firm calls him Doctor. We call him by his first name. We encounter PhD’s by the dozens. Very, very few are so self-important that they insist on being referred to as Doctor So-and-so.
If she wants to isolate herself, let her. Family get togethers will be so much more enjoyable without her pretentiousness.
NTA. She’s full of herself. Don’t get me wrong getting any qualifications is an achievement and yes if introducing her to others you could say my sister dr so and so but honestly I wouldn’t pander to that. I get being excited about it but millions of people are doctors of something or other so she’s not the only person in the world to achieve this. Once she stops being full of herself you could resume contact but I’d stop while she is behaving like that
This is some bad AI karma farming “PhDs are bad, everyone who gets one is an egomaniac”
I have a PhD and my nieces call me by my name only. Nobody calls me Dr unless it’s a formal work event.
She sounds bonkers. I have a PhD but I would never dream of asking my family (or anyone outside a professional setting) to call me anything but my name!
She got upset that her family won’t use her professional title in a non-professional setting.
That’s a hard no from me.
She’s sounds exhausting.
Her majesty the queen 📣🎺👑👸👑🤣🤣🤣 she sounds insufferable 🤦♀️
She’s completely ridiculous, but you call people what they want to be called, even when they foolishly want to use their professional titles at family events.
Have your kids call her ‘Dr. Last Name’ religiously. It will get so tired and pretentious, she will beg them to stop. ‘Please pass the potatoes, Dr. Smith’, ‘What show would you like to watch, Dr. Smith?’
Especially have them do it in public, around other adults who will assume she is a medical doctor.
Haha your aunt is so full of herself and her ego is out of control. Unless it’s in a formal setting or you are sending her something in the mail, she should be addressed as she always has been. Good luck with getting the family to bow down and kiss her inflated ego.
Oh please, that’s like having my nephews call me Professor Duck when I show them around campus, so they become interested in college. Only someone with low self-esteem in academia does something so pretentious.
Anytime my students call me by my last name, I look for my grandma. Creeps me out. I gain respect from my students not through a name or title.
NTA. My husbands parents both had PhDs. He from Columbia (with a stint at Oxford), she from Yale. They were both professors at prestigious universities. He published books that are still being used. They never, ever went by doctor and they sure as hell didn’t demand family members call them that. That’s a new level of self importance.
Don’t indulge her. Your brother is an idiot if he does.
PhD really just stands for “Piled higher & Deeper”
BS- bull sh!t
MS- more sh!t
Just to drive home how obnoxious she is being, I would say “Doctor of Literature, Elizabeth Jones,” every single time I said her name around her.
Oh, NTA
NTA I would have the kids call her aunt doc and laugh every time
Never heard of a PhD who wanted to be called “Dr” by family and friends. We usually don’t expect to be called “Dr” outside the professional setting.
Either this is made up, or the woman is nuts.
Medical doctors don’t make their families do that. NTA
Nta. Hopefully no serious medical incidents ever occur at the family functions because you won’t have a doctor to the rescue.
She’s the type to stand up op on airplanes when someone is calling for a doctor.
The doc is insufferable.
Next time you see her, ask how it smells up her ass.
She should contact her school and request a refund on her tuition as there seems to be quite a bit that she wasn’t taught.
I had a high school English teacher with a PHD in something academic. She insisted on being called “Doctor H-” The students made fun of her for being so pretentious.
NTA – The family should insist that she address everyone, even the children, by their titles and last names (even if the title for the 6 year old is simply Miss or Mister Smith.”
Oof, someone needs their ego punctured! “Doctor” is a professional title, true, and she has every right to be called by her professional title in her professional sphere, but asking family to do that just makes her look like a pompous idiot.
NTA.
Nta. In professional setting, that’s aprops. With fam and friends? It’s my name. I get she worked hard and paid a lot of money to get that title, but there’s a time and place
NTA
She said it herself, her issue is that no one is following “professional etiquette.” Family gatherings aren’t a professional setting so professional etiquette is unnecessary. Your kids realize this already but apparently Beth is too dumb to understand this concept (maybe she should get a refund for that PhD)
NTA. I’m married to a doctor, an actual does medical stuff doctor. “Doctor” is only used professionally and never with family and friends.
NTA. I would have told her to remove the entitled broom stick from her a$$ and stop acting all high and mighty,
No one does what she is demanding. Not in any circumstance. That’s not a thing no matter what an etiquette book might say.
To demand it of family is just pure insanity. I wouldn’t have her back in my home until she got examined by a doctor or two herself.
NTA
Nta oh my stars she is going to be insufferable
NTA. She’s justifiably proud of her PhD. But insisting your children call her Dr Jones instead of Aunt Beth is ludicrous. Start keeping a distance from her.
“STFU!!!! Oh, you’re serious??” STFU
im a real doctor and this is so cringe worthy. how sadly insecure she is.
NTA. I am a physician and a professor at my university and no one in my personal life calls me doctor. I understand that she worked hard to get her degree but to ask people to call her by her professional name is crazy.
My father has a Ph.D. and no one in my family calls him “Dr. Dad.” In fact, my FIL, BIL, and SIL all have MDs and neither my wife, my kids, nor I call them “Dr.” The reason is really simple – you don’t use that term in non-professional settings. Only assholes would insist on doing that.
NTA. My uncle and aunt (his wife) both have PhDs. They would never ask or expect anyone in the family to call them Dr. I’m in my 40s and still address them as Aunt and Uncle. If I’m sending them something in the mail like a Christmas card, I’ll address it to Dr & Dr (last name) or Drs. (Last name) but that’s my choice. They would never expect it of me.
I get that she has worked hard for her PhD but insisting family and friends call her Dr is ludicrous!
Please tell me her maiden name is actually Jones, I would sing Dr Jones by Aqua every time I saw her! Then “Dr Dr gimme the news!” Then any song with the word Dr in it 🤣
Her PhD has gone to her head. Is she having a midlife crisis? That’s just nutty. The title is for those in her professional setting, not her private life. It should stay as Aunt Beth or Beth as family has known her. The fact that your brother hasn’t shut that shit down is crazy.
NTA
Well, she sounds insufferable, so… all good: the trash took itself out. She can sulk in her superiority/inferiority complex. NTA
NTA
Yes, call her “Doc”, lol. She sounds like a real brain surgeon
When I get my PH.D. I’m gonna use it to remind people of my status and my betterment. I’m gonna do that, while openly knowing and being an asshole.
YOU are NTA. But me with a PH…. I’d totally be the asshole.
YTA because there is no way this is true. I’ve never known a person with a PhD who wanted to be called Dr in a personal setting. And very few who even use the title professionally.
NTA. I’ve known a lot of people with PhDs who are like this. I swear, they must take a class in being a pompous ass to get the PhD. From now on, I’d only address her as ‘Doctor Elizabeth Jones, PhD’. Full name, title, and post nominal, every time I talked to her. “Hi,
Doctor Elizabeth Jones, PhD, how are you?”, “Doctor Elizabeth Jones, PhD, please pass the salt,” “Doctor Elizabeth Jones, PhD wheres Tim?”.
She may or may not get the point, but I’d have fun with it.
Someone should tell her that it wasn’t a professional setting, to start. And I deal with more PhDs in a day than she does in a month. I call them by their first names, and these are people who are developing cures for diseases.
My husband is a doctor (physician). I don’t call him doctor. My brother in law is too. I don’t call him “Dr. BIL name”. I work in pharmacy, where the pharmacists have PhD’s, I don’t call them Doctor.
Unless you are being treated by the doctor, or being addressed in a formal setting (academia, research, forums, publications), no one calls people “doctor first name last name).
Nta.
She’s high on her horse. M’am you’re not a doctor. Get over it. What a psycho – kids can’t call her aunt? She has some LOOSE screws for sure.
Well she’s quite pretentious, isn’t she? This isn’t normal behavior for anyone with a doctorate.
The only people who refer to a medical or academic doctor as Dr. are those within the profession.
But never family. That’s just cringy and awkward.
NTA. She is a jerk.
Nta. That’s crazy! Even if she was a medical Dr, you wouldn’t be expected to call her Dr.
I call bull to this post
She’s an AH.
“When I am working with you as a professional colleague in your field of expertise, I’ll address you with the honorific that is standard within that industry. Here, I’ll just use Pompous Ass Beth.”
Shes ridiculous.
NTA. Sounds like an ego problem. Yes, getting a PhD is noteworthy, but it shouldn’t change how your family addresses you. She’s their aunt, not their doctor.
I worked in a place where there were doctors. And if one of them wanted me to call them doctor, I would ask them to call me “accountant” because that is my professional designation. I guess her children would have to call her Doctor as well. Now, I am sarcastic, so I would call her Elizabeth Jones, PHD. ALL OF THE TIME. As in, hey Elizabeth Jones, PHD, pass the salt. Here’s the salt back, Elizabeth jones, PHD. Would you like some dessert, Elizabeth Jones, PHD? Yes, I use PHD because I wouldn’t want anyone to think you were a medical doctor, Elizabeth Jones, PHD. How was work today, Elizabeth Jones, PHD? Did you do any PHD work today, Elizabeth Jones PHD? I could go all night…
Lol NTA, my sister has her MD, I don’t call her Dr. I call her, her name. I think she would laugh if I called her Dr
I didn’t know that my aunt had a PhD until I was in my 30s. She had had it most of my life. Your SIL is an idiot.
Naw! She can be fancy somewhere else. At home she is still Beth.
NTA
Whole bunch of PhDs in our family and we don’t call them doctor socially. Your SIL is pretentious. Calling her doctor in an academic or professional setting is fine. At home? No. She needs to get over herself.
NTA. Tell your brother to tell his wife to get off of her high horse because she is with family and not with her peers. If your family was full of doctors, then it would be a fun thing to do. To demand it off family will most likely give her nicknames like Dr. B!tch or A-hole.
I learned a good friend of mine was a doctor about the sixth time I saw him. He never brought it up or demanded to be given the title when I first met him. I asked him if I should call him Doctor or Doc, and he gave me serious side eye before we both laughed.
I love your nephew’s reply. Brother can’t call his own wife by her 1st name? I hope he is reconsidering his marriage.
Call her Dr. Bitchy McBitchface, I mean she said call her “Dr.”.
Early onset dementia.
“Doctor” of literature 🤣🤣🤣
She can get some puppets and they can be her replacement family. And they can call her highness whatever she wants.
Just to mess with her, say “lit PHD isn’t even a real doctor”. (They are, but say it to be petty)
I have a law degree. My nieces and nephews, depending on age, call me by my first name or Aunt (first name).
Tell your SIL her insecurities are showing. .
I’m in academia and the only time people are called Dr are in settings like classrooms or dissertation defenses. Maybe at professional events like conference introductions. Nta, she’sjust insecure I guess. To appease her try Dr Auntie or something haha. She would be friends with Captain Raymond J Holt (rip)
NTA, unless you’re interacting with your sister in her professional environment, referring to her as “Doctor” is not required. Your sister is being an A about her title.
That’s nuts but some people be like that. My dil has her doctorate in education. She goes by her first name. Or Mrs ( her last name) But then she’s not a pretentious ahole.
NTA
Start referring to her a Dr. Beth.
Husband had a roommate whose Dad was a Urologist but supposedly well regarded and the kids and wife had to call him Dr. So and so.
My FIL was a PhD in Education and was only called Dr. professionally. He wrote textbooks and was a founding professor of a state university in Florida and only taught post grad classes. He was a wonderful person and no snobbery.
I used to work with a guy who decided he was going by Dr Jim Beam instead of the “Jim” we all had used for years.
We were baffled and asked when he’d graduated. He hadn’t – he was ABD, but “had fulfilled the requirements for the honorific.”
Nope. I flat out refused to ever use it. I called him ABD Jim until he got pissed and went back to good old Jim.
I will tell them every time they see her call about her first name and don’t call her aunt or auntie anymore she needs to go to a real doctor and get a psych evaluation!
Lol wow, your SIL is mental
Professionally -sure she has a point.
With family? She’s insane.
NTA, she has a PhD in literature for heavens sake which isn’t much use to anyone. Tell her that whilst you are pleased for her personally you’re not impressed by her condescending attitude to her family, and does she know the quote “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach” is often attributed to George Bernard Shaw.
NTA. “Professional etiquette”?? No one’s using Dr. anything at family gatherings, is she crazy?
Your SIL is too self pretentious and too precious to have to interact with. Let her enjoy her doctorate all by her lonesome.
NTA.
NTA, and she is what we call in Australia, a wanker, look it up
Doctor Bitch is more like it.
Only crazy insecure people do this. I’ve been in academia a while and everyone with a PhD, even in a professional setting, including bosses, insists on being called by their first name. NTA.
Find your brother a good divorce attorney and don’t call that perso Name Name Esquire either because it’s ridiculous. FFS she’s a part-time professor at a community college with a PhD in literature. Somebody needs to put her in her place. It should have been your brother. I do have a question though. Does your brother have a lot of money? Or is she going to work until the day she dies to pay off student loans? If it’s the second one you could just call her…….
People like this need to take a walk through reality. Is their accomplishment real? Yes. Is their self-importance over the top? Absolutely.
Personally, I would make it a point to highlight she’s only a PhD and not an MD so not a “real”* doctor.
NTA, and you’re better off disassociating with the high and mighty BETH.
When your grandfather has a PhD and is famous in his field, what do you call him? GRANDPA! (And his niblings called him Uncle Ben)
Traditionally, only medical doctors were call doctor socially, and “on paper”. If you were friends, you called them Ed, but on an invitation, you wrote Dr Edward Smith. If you would normally call someone within a degree, like your boss, “Mr”, you would call an MD, Dr. If a friend had a PhD in Lit, you called him Ed and on invites, Mr Edward Smith. At college, his students called him Professor or Dr Smith.
Now, more people use Dr socially and on paper for PhDs. But, still, Grandpa is still Grandpa. So is Auntie Beth.
Your SIL doesn’t want not professional courtesy. She is just pretentious.
NTA- just keep calling her beth or aunt beth. Anyone who pulls this with family is an asshole.
Every medical doctor and PhD that I know:
>don’t call me “doctor” unless I’m at work
I’m just saying, if someone wants me to use their formal title in casual discussion, then I require that they address me by my formal title, “reverend.” I got that online ordination to officiate weddings for my friends, but fuck it, you wanna play stupid games, I’m gonna play, too.
She is wacko! I have a PhD and would NEVER expect friends, family or social acquaintances to call me Dr. It is only appropriate in a professional setting. Sometimes someone will introduce me to a new person as Dr SarahSnarker in a non-professional setting but I know they are just trying to show respect. I would NEVER expect them to do that – and honestly even though I know they are trying to be respectful it makes me uncomfortable and I really prefer they don’t.
She’s nuts. Does he have to call her that in the bedroom?
I called my late FIL ‘Doctor’ but that’s because all who married into the family had to do that as did friends of his children. (He was an OB-GYN.)
She’s gone bat shit crazy! One thing is at work, another is in a family environment. I’ve got a masters and a phd, I would never dream to treat my family like this. I work for a company with a big number of employees with phd’s and no one treats each other by Dr. NTA
You will
Be calling her bitter divorced dr
Sounds like family events will be find without Dr Strange terrorizing small children.
Your brother needs to talk to a therapist.
NTA
LOL.
NTA but I sure feel for her husband.
This is painfully awkward.
Hey doc, I’ve got a rash, can you read it a sad poem?
I’m not calling you doctor unless you have a medical degree. What a pompous ass
I’d teach my kids the aqua song Dr Jones.
It will be a hard sacrifice but totally worth it to see your kids happy and your SIL getting everything she asked for
Oh I laughed so hard at this. She has her own husband call her Dr????
Too bad that such an expensive education has taught her nothing at all .
I do hope this is made up, as it seems incredible an adult could be this stupid.
Veteran of two English departments here. Decided against Ph.D. but married one. We called my spouse Doctor [Firstname] as a joke for a few weeks after the degree was conferred to highlight the achievement, but nobody off campus calls anyone “Doctor” anybody unless a student runs into a professor at the mall. My dad had a Ph.D. Only his colleagues at work called him that. Otherwise, he was Dad, Mister, or [Firstname]. I know how much work goes into the dissertation and degree, but this woman is overly pretentious, self-absorbed, and unhinged. Her husband should cheerfully call her Beth and ignore her tantruming. Families correctly do not use “professional etiquette” because they are at home, not at work. Colleagues do. Beth will be Dr. No Friends real soon. NTA
NTA that’s ridiculous. Sure she should be addressed that way in a formal or academic setting, but not with her own family, especially kids.
This is hilarious! She clearly has a massive status issue, if she’s this high up the woo-woo tree.
This story took me back to when I was contemplating taking up a doctorate scholarship many years ago, it was a massive hoot amongst my friends and family. My background is as far removed from academia as anything could be, but I did well and loved study as a mature student. While those around me were very very happy for me, under no circumstances would they allow me to get all ‘better’. It’s not in my nature anyway so the jokes flew thick and fast in both directions as I worked through my degree. Think FIGJAM keyrings, snob jokes etc. Given and taken in fun and much love.
These were the people who got me through life when it got tough, and I’d never have expected them to see me any differently before or after graduating (honours) – or even deciding to try study. Life did get in the way for a PHD for me, but those friends and family are still here with me!
Everyone in my family has a Phd in out fields can you imagine us all calling each others Dr. My dad got mad because where he worked put Dr. on his parking space.
I am a doctor. Like – an actual doctor. I cut people open for a living. Not just my family, the nurses and patients at work too are welcome to call me by my first name, as that’s how I introduce myself. Some want to and some don’t – up to them, but I couldn’t personally give two shits if I had a third cup of coffee. Do with that example what you will, but she sounds miserable.
As a Ph.D myself I would feel so weird to have someone calling me doctor… Especially if not relevant to the situation. I am proud of the work I accomplished but that is just a show-off.
Besides I have never heard people using the title besides in very specific professional settings. Mostly during ‘talk sessions’ where different professionals would discuss their area of expertise publicly. Something like ‘what do you think Dr. x’ or ‘Excellent point Pr. Y’… But this is a sort of a performance. Outside of that and maybe email signatures not so much…
She is full of herself. NTA.
NTA
Does she think that an actual medical doctor has everyone calling them Doctor in social settings? She’s extremely full of herself.
I guess she got that from Dr Jill Biben. I know more than a few male and female with PhD and not one has been called Dr in a social gathering. You and your family are far from AHs. Her poor husband.
NTA, sounds like she’s bought in to her title too much. She’ll calm down with time I hope, cause she’s making herself sound like a pretentious tool. Relatives don’t use doctor titles. Has she never seen Friends? Ross was teased for this a few times.
That said, I’d laugh my ass off if she was insisting on that title everywhere, someone needed a doctor and she got called out since all she could do is recite Chaucer at them while they choked.
She’s a nut case. Tell her she doesn’t have to worry about coming she’s not invited.
nta I work with multiple Phds and know how i call them? By their FIRST NAMES. My sil just got her doctorate and would never expect family to address her that way.
Your sil needs to be reminded that personal situations don’t require professional etiquette.
Wow. Just wow. I can appreciate going back to graduate school, but that’s taking the “professionalism” a bit too far. Like, way out in the galaxy. Many years ago, I worked in a group medical practice. We were all on a first name basis, physicians included. My dad had a Ph.D. and taught at the med school for 35+ years. The only ones that called him doctor were the med students. After they graduated, they too were on a first name basis.
Is she German? Because that sounds like something the older Germans i knew would say.
NTA, I say as someone who also has a PhD in literature
NAH. It’s weird having a doctor in the family. If you’d like to be TA, make up an acronym for what Dr or PHD stands for in the family and make it a little inside joke. Princess Highhorse Diva. Aunt Beth, PHD.