I’m 25M and gay. My sister is 31 and her husband 33.
I was out with her husband having a few drinks and he got really touchy and flirty. Like reaaaally. I stopped it when he leaned in to kiss me.
I told my sister and she was livid…. with me. She knew he was bi and they are in an open relationship. She said their rule is that they don’t tell each other their (let’s put it) “conquets”. She complained that I ruined that privacy. But how was I meant to know?
I said maybe you should have a rule to avoid family and friends. She told me to stop getting involved in their relationship. It’s been about two weeks and she hasn’t spoken to me. I spoke to our mother today and apparently my sisters relationship has ran into a big problem.
AITAH
Comments
Yeah he crossed a line and she took it out on you. Not your fault give her some time.
Well, your sister’s husband took ‘open relationship’ to a whole new level like, ‘open for business’ right in front of you! Maybe next time he should just stick to flirting with the bar menu instead.
NTA
If that privacy is their rule, their conquests should be people who usually don’t talk to conqueror’s spouse.
You are not the AH. It is not your jib to enforce their relationship rules. He was putting you in a bad spot, cause if you didn’t say anything, sis would be livid. Go Low Contact, their relationship will not last.
Jeez. You did nothing wrong at all. You even had the uncomfortable convo w your sis to let her know who she’s married to. Seems like she’s regretting the marriage but too embarrassed / hurt to admit it
Even if I was in an open relationship I wouldn’t want my partner sleeping with a blood relative of mine. NTA. They shouldn’t be involving non consenting people in their relationship either. It’s creepy and leads to messy situations.
Sister needs to get her priorities straight. She’s probably mad now and it’s not bc of “ruined privacy” it’s bc now she has to live with the fact her husband wants you
Your sis is the AH. If they have an open relationship then they should keep it within the people who like open relationships. Ofcourse you will mind it if you are not ok with his flirting with you.
NTA. Her husband ruined their privacy when he went for you.
God, the pettiness in me says sleep with her husband and tell her. He’ll not have broken the rule, and she can just enjoy the mental image for the rest of her life.
NTA, it’s on them for not thinking people in their circles should be off limit and accepting that they wouldn’t know about the rules, dumb as they may be.
Ok I’ll bite, why the hell were you out drinking with your sister’s husband?
So the rule is that the can be open as long as they dont talk about it, and somehow that same rule applies to you after you were hit on, out of your control? No, NTA.
But your sister is very quickly going to see the end of that relationship, they are open but yet so closed. its just a matter of time.
NTA. You were looking out for your sister’s well-being. It’s never easy to deliver tough truths, but if you genuinely believed her husband was being unfaithful, she deserved to know. Relationships are built on trust, and it’s important for her to be aware of any potential issues. Your intentions seem to be rooted in concern for her happiness and safety.
That is stupid the husband was an idiot. . I feel so sorry your being treated this way.
NTA for telling her.
Your sister is blaming you for blurring the lines of their open relationship when you had no idea that it even existed.
I do have a question for you though. You said he got ‘reaaaally’ touchy and flirty. So why didn’t you put a stop to it at the first touch? Why wait until he went in with the lips before drawing the line?
It’s your sister’s husband. You should have walked away. Instead you stayed and let it get to the point where he thought you were into it too. YTA for this. You have not said once that you protested when he was touching you and flirting with you. You knew exactly what was going on and you participated until he tried to kiss you and things got real.
Her husband involved you in their relationship. This is a THEM problem.
NTA, but they are.
NTA thatnis on him, not you.
You are totally off limits for him. Maybe it is not in their rule book but certain rules are obvious (no relations with family members, the nanny…). They can’t do this in front of family and then demand privacy. NTA.
NTA, you had no way of knowing. She could have avoided this by telling you beforehand.
NTA. Their rules and secrets are not your problem.
Lmao. He tried to fuck his wife’s much younger brother, but it’s a you problem?
Nahhhh. It’s a them problem… 1. She’s too insecure for an open relationship. 2. She got in one anyway. 3. She was dumb enough to marry him too. 4. He was dumb enough to try incest.
That’s not a healthy way to have an open relationship.
Why would you be an asshole? There is no way you could have known?
Your sister is being ridiculous and completely unreasonable.
You are trying to help her and she gets angry at you?
INSANE!
Open relationships are all about honesty and trust. Not just between the primary partners, but all involved. He should have informed you that he is in an open relationship before kissing you. But even more importantly, all open relationships have a “messy list” – a list of people you never pursue cause it would be too messy (don’t shit where you eat basically). Relatives are at the top of that list, along with close friends, your kid’s teachers, mutual doctors, etc.
It seems your sister and her husband never had a proper boundaries and poly101 discussion. The husband is definitely an asshole for not realising that a brother in law is definitely off limits. Like how stupid do you have to be?
But you are not the asshole of course. Your sister is an idiot.
NTAH at all!! What a disgusting pos to hit on you. Open relationship or not that’s not cool. Also yes you didn’t know.
>She told me to stop getting involved in their relationship
You’re not the one that caused you to be involved in their relationship.
Your sister is transferring her frustration for her husband to you. Not your fault… unless you knew all of these facts beforehand (that he is bi, that their relationship is open, that he liked you, that they don’t discuss their interactions with others). If you did know all 4 of those facts (doesn’t seem like you did), then you do have some responsibility… but not as much as the husband who leaned to kiss you without your permission.
Yeah nta. Shes delusional.
NTA you were being honest, and he shouldn’t have been messing w the fam. You did the right thing.
But what were you wearing at the time?
J/k. Your sister is weird.