My sister cheated on her husband during a night out with friends and I was there as well. I kept it a secret because she begged me to.
3 month ago I found out that when we were teenagers she was the one who ratted me out for doing a prank on our teacher. I confronted her and she told me that it was long time ago and I should grow up.
I told her husband about her affair. Their son was concieved at that time as well, and he ordered a dna test on him. It came back negative.
He basically threatened my sister that if she comes after him for any kind of money, he will beat her to death and then he will off himself. He has left her and has not contacted his(or not his) son. Her son is devastated, he won’t eat without him, it’s been very sad and difficult.
My sister instead of refusing to take responsibility is blaming me for ruining her life.
I was definitely an asshole for hiding the affair but I don’t think I am an asshole for telling the truth. It’s her fault for cheating.
Comments
Lol except this didn’t happen 😂
> if she comes after him for any kind of money, he will beat her to death and then he will off himself
Despite your sister indeed being the asshole, she’s dodged a bullet with this one
You’re an asshole for the fact you only told him out of some twisted form of revenge, ESH.
Your sister shouldn’t have cheated, your BIL shouldn’t have threatened violence and you should have told him as soon as you found out.
All three of you don’t sound great, to be honest. I know ESH is everyone ducks here, but YAA (you’re all assholes)?
I mean… with none of the rest of the context, no you’re not but then there’s all the rest of the words…
You do know that your prank when you were a teenager isn’t in any way equivalent to this, right? You obviously didn’t tell him because you thought he should know or whatever because you were fine keeping the secret before.
And is this thing where he’s threatening murder wildly out of character? Or is the fact he’s a violent man something you already knew?
I dunno, ESH I guess?
You are the asshole. How fucking childish can you be?
NTA. I believe to expose all cheaters. I didn’t even read your post btw.:: going back and doing so now. Brb
This sounds so fake, so YTA
ESH. You all suck.
I admire you. He had every right to know he was fathering a child that wasn’t his. No man ever wants to go through that, no father wants to go through that, no child should ever have to go through that, but the fact she is capable of doing that to the two people she should love and adore the most just represents where her priorities are at. I feel so bad for that kid. It’s not his fault his mom’s a HORse
Edit was misspelling of “his”
OP NTA for telling their sis’ BF about her cheating. Growing up, my BFF’s dad caught them fooling around when she was 14, he flipped out and threatened to call the cops if she didn’t break things off with his son… guess it worked since they’re still friends now. It was a crappy situation but OP did what needed doing.
My cousin went through this exact scenario. The truth always comes out eventually, you just sped up the inevitable..
Nta she fd around and found her. You didn’t ruin her life. She did. She could go get bd to help her.
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First post ever, poorly written, revenge on a nothing school prank… fake, fake, fake!
YTA. Definitely. You are justifying telling your BIL that she cheated with a childhood grievance. That is so pathetic. Your poor nephew is paying the price for your action. This will come back to bite you in the end. Learn to mind your own business.
Why ask when you don’t want the truth? Yes, you are awful.
Nta. Cheaters are the worst. Consequences of her own actions? Refusing to take accountability? She did that to herself.
However, it’s heartbreaking for the child. All you can do is comfort him, I wouldn’t now how to feel if my mom did that to my dad. Definitely need therapy.
YTA not because you told him. YTA because of the reasons behind you taking him.
This absolutely, 100%, never ever happened.
Yeah you did wrong. It wasn’t any of your business
NTA for telling him, but YTA for your reason for telling him. You told him for revenge on petty shit your sister did ages ago. Not because you thought he deserved the truth.
Your parents did a terrible job with both of you.
ESH. He deserved to know and you should have told him right away. You were complicit in her affair until you got mad at her. She sucks because she is a cheater and he is obviously unhinged. You are all disgusting people.
Sounds like you 2 deserve one another
NTA. She ruined their life by cheating on him. Doesn’t matter how he found out.
UpdateMe
Actions have consequences, she broke her own home the moment she cheated. You didn’t ruin her life, you exposed the truth she built her lies on. Its tragic for the kid, but none of this would’ve happened if she chose loyalty over betrayal. You’re not the villain, she is.
The only person I feel bad for is the kid omg poor child being abandoned by there dad😭
You have no moral code. You hid the secret until your feelings were hurt over a childhood betrayal. You then used sensitive information to hurt your sister, not help your brother in law. You can try to explain it all you want, but are a mean and vengeful person.
Wrote on the wrong sub. Your mother is a prostitute
Sounds like everyone but the son is an asshole here.
NTA for telling him, because that guilt would have eaten you up mentally, having to see his face knowing his wife cheated. However YTA because you didn’t do it out of moral obligation but instead, you did it to get revenge for something petty and ancient.
You destroyed her life cause when you were kids she ratted you out ? Her cheating is inexcusable but your reason for telling is horrendous. Yta
ESH
You tattled on your sister only to hurt her. You weren’t trying to help anyone. You and your sister are cut from the same cloth.
Yes YTA.
You waited until the child was old enough to be hurt by (who he thought was) his dad leaving him forever. That’s a scar that might haunt him for the rest of his life.
And why now? As a painful revenge because you found out about something that happened between you and your sister as children? Not because you felt it was the right thing to do or anything.
You should have made your sister tell the truth when it happened or told him yourself. Letting them live a happy family life and then ruin it years later is just cruel.
NTA.
Cheating is never acceptable. If she doesn’t want people to find out maybe she shouldn’t yap about being unfaithful.
She blew up her own life with shitty choices. You should have told him in the beginning. The only one I feel sorry for is the son. Poor baby.
ESH – I think you did the right thing by telling him especially because of the timing of her pregnancy.
But that is something you should’ve done a long time ago. All this time he’s been raising a kid that wasn’t his. Now the kid is hurt. That’s your sister’s fault, but you could’ve alleviated
that a little by exposing things sooner.
You only did it because of being mad that she ratted you in the past so that makes it petty on your part, even though it was the right thing to do ultimately.
But as far as her blaming you for ruining her family, that’s her fault 100% and anybody that says different is an asshole
YTA- both you and your sister. You did it out of revenge not concern.
You’re never the AH for telling the truth. Cheaters deserve no sympathy.
This all sounds made up.
That’s fucked. Yta for reasoning. I think you should have said something earlier but ultimately it’s not your job. Just would be nice if he was told before they started a family
It really wasn’t your place to tell him and you did it out of spite and now look what’s happened. Yes, he deserved to know but not this way.
I feel thanksgiving is going to be interesting this year.