I have been seeing a woman for 3 months casually. I found out that she was married and I told her to tell her husband because I will.
She said her husband is abusive to her and begged me to not tell him. I agreed to her but I told him anyways via Facebook because I didn’t believe her. Every cheater has the same excuse, he was abusive so instead of leaving she is cheating, puleeze.
He filed a restraining order against her, turns out she was the one who was being abusive.
She sent me a long text about how I ruined her life and how she can’t see her children and her kids are not safe with her husband.
I still don’t believe she was abused. I feel she is narcissist and can’t take responsibility for herself. She is the one who is being denied access to her children, she is clearly at fault
Am I wrong in thinking this way?
Comments
You might want to reconsider your stance here. If she truly was being abused, it’s possible she was just trying to protect herself from more harm. You don’t really have enough context to dismiss her claims, especially when it seems like you’re blaming her for the whole situation without understanding the full picture.
You didn’t even try to understand her situation, just judged her right away. Now her kids might suffer for it.
Bravo đź‘Ź
BRAVO.🫡
All you know for a fact is that she is married and was cheating with you.
If that was enough info for you which it seems like it was. Then don’t feel bad and move on with your life
Bad idea.
It sounds like you acted from a place of concern and wanting the truth to come out, which is understandable. You were put in a tough position, and it’s not wrong to question someone’s story especially when trust has already been broken. It’s okay to feel conflicted, and it’s also okay to prioritize your own peace in the aftermath.
– you hit it spot on as its extremely rare for a female to be in an abusive relationship and to cheat as that now elevates this problem to practically life or death….she lied from the beginning in not revealing she was married
– we all have our own morals and ethics and when turn a blind eye to cheaters and liars that is a REFLECTION on us and what we truly believe in. Society is at fault in accepting cheaters and liars, They should be stigmatize, not ignored. If you stop loving your partner, leave, divorce….that is the HONORABLE act to take
– you did the right thing and proved to be correct that SHE was the problem as most in MOST cases would be. NTA, not ever.
NTA. You gave her a chance to come clean and she chose to lie. Actions have consequences, especially when kids and marriages are involved
This is normally happen at this generation… So sad!
The courts gave the husband the restraining order and the kids, yet he’s abusive? Okay.
Only thing I’d say on this is that you think she wasn’t being abused but you don’t know she wasn’t, if I’m honest I think the best thing to do was to not say anything even if you felt telling the husband was the right thing to do. The risk of her and especially her children being in danger (obviously she put herself and them in that position it wasn’t you) is not worth the righteousness of telling her husband.
NTA. I was in the exact same situation. You’re my hero.
Yes. You’re not living in the home. You should have simply walked away. Taking the adults out of the equation, think of the impact the kids lives are having.
I think you’re a prissy little thing: you should have just walked away. You have no idea whether her abuse was real or not. Telling her H was talking a massive risk that wasn’t yours to take. Sorry about your pride hun, but just walk away next time. No need to go full scorched earth.
Absolutely love all the women saying you needed to understand her situation first lmfao. She’s a cheating woman for christs sake lol. Where are you all when it comes to defending the guys in posts about them having a bit on the side? Funny how she must be in a terrible situation instead of just being a cheating girl who wants some D on the side
NTA, apart from anything else the guy had a need he didnt know of, to get an STD test. This was a public service, STDs spread fastest when couples think they are exclusive but aren’t.
Her situation was created by her choice to lie, she doesnt get to claim a need of protection against a threat she chose to hide
You’re a god send
I think you only told her husband because you wanted her to break up so you could be with her.
These comments show that reddit is more likely to believe a womans story than a mans. Women are more likely to be given the benefit of the doubt. If a guy had this excuse after cheating, no way he would be believed.
NTA. Courts don’t hand out restraining orders without concrete evidence. She’s trouble, and not the good kind.
Wow I would never tell on someone and break up a marriage. I would have quietly broke it off with her and continued my search for a single girl.
NTA
It’s such a slap in the face to abuse victims to use it as an excuse for cheating, if you’re genuinely scared of your partner you don’t sneak around and cheat on them!
>AITAH
Yes. What a controlling thing to do to a person you’ve only known for 90 days.
BTW: Considering that this woman actually chose to have an affair with someone as manipulative and controlling as yourself, I completely believe that she’s in an abusive marriage. That doesn’t make her innocent wrt having an affair, of course. It just shows that she has terrible judgement.
NTA, to those who doubt she was being abused, remember he got a restraining order provided by the court. this wouldn’t happen for just cheating, it happens if he can prove that she is dangerous or risk to me and the children. The restarining order is evidence that she was the abuser
Even an abusive relationship is no reason to cheat.