AITAH for thinking the pet fees should be covered by the people bringing pets?

r/

My friend group does this annual ski trip every winter to a cabin in the mountains. There are 7 of us total, 3 couples and 1 single guy. The cabin sleeps 8 so we usually all get our own space which is nice. We’ve been doing this trip for like 4 years now and it’s always been pretty chill about splitting costs.

This year though two of the couples are bringing their dogs. One couple has a golden retriever and the other has one smaller dog. The single guy and my boyfriend and I don’t have pets. The cabin charges a pet fee of $25 per night per pet, plus we had to get a cabin that allows animals which was a bit more expensive. Then there’s some extra costs because the dogs need their own food and we had to get a few cleaning supplies just in case.

When it came time to split the bill, the couples with dogs just divided everything equally among the 7 people like we always do. But now we’re paying for their pet fees and extra stuff which feels a little unfair. The pet fees added about $150 to our total cost, plus the extra food and supplies. When I brought up maybe adjusting how we split things, they got super defensive saying the dogs are family and we knew they were coming. But honestly we didn’t realize how much extra it would cost for the rest of us.

AITAH?

Comments

  1. Iwas17HeWas36 Avatar

    You’re not the asshole. It’s completely reasonable to think pet-related fees should be covered by the people bringing the pets. If someone brings extra costs to a group trip – whether it’s a dog, a jet ski, or a karaoke machine that needs renting – it shouldn’t fall equally on everyone else. “Dogs are family” is fine, but they’re your family, your bill.

  2. AtlantaDave998 Avatar

    NTA. Its very reasonable that the people with pets should pay the pet fees.

  3. EuphoricDilemma Avatar

    NTA. As someone who has three dogs and four cats: yes, they are family but they are MY family, not your family. I would never expect a friend, without previously letting them known about the possible price (specially if it ended up being so expensive), to cover the costs of my babies. You arent wrong for wanting to divide the costs fairly

  4. squishylilkitty Avatar

    Nta, but rhis should have been settled WAAAAAAY before y’all booked or left for the trip.

  5. Tremenda-Carucha Avatar

    NTA, I mean, really? You thought those pet fees would just vanish into thin air?

  6. Routine_Employment27 Avatar

    If they are family, add them to the total the cost is split over and make them pay their share.

  7. Penny4004 Avatar

    ‘The dogs are family’ not YOUR family. 🙄 How does knowing the dogs were coming = everyone has to pay hundreds of dollars extra for pets that aren’t theirs and they didn’t choose to bring? Their pets, their choice to bring them, their job to pay the fees. NTA, but stand your ground. 

  8. Sylkre Avatar

    seven people +2 dogs that are family = everything gets split 9 ways. You pay 1/9.

  9. RezCoug Avatar

    NTA. I have an elder dog, she’s 15 yrs old. She goes where I go, she’s my road dog. This means that I stay in dog friendly hotels or airbnbs. I ALWAYS pay the pet fee, even if I am splitting a room with family. I would never expect others to pay for my dog. They might help in taking her for a walk or something, but that doesn’t cost.

    I’m confused about the supplies and food. Is this cleaning supplies? Or are we talking dog food and poop bags? I could see maybe sharing the cleaning supply bill for a general multipurpose cleaning spray or something, but dog food, poop bags, etc., should be on the dog owners. If folks had kids, would you yall be expected to share in buying diapers? Does everyone contribute to feminine hygiene products? I agree some things are shared expenses, but others are individual expenses.

  10. Ok_Childhood_9774 Avatar

    NTAH, and your pet owning friends are trying to take advantage of you. Their pets=their extra expenses. The dogs are not your family.

  11. SoImaRedditUserNow Avatar

    LOL…. that would be a big fat NO. “Um…. Phil… I’m not going to be paying for your dog’s food nor the pet fees. Yes, I’m aware I petted your dog periodically. No that is not some sort of binding contract that I split any costs with you.”

    Similarly… the “pets are family” argument simply doesn’t hold water. For example. Lets say you had to get a 10 room cabin, because 2 of the couples brought their kids, and had to get two extra rooms to accommodate. Ain’t no way that means we’re all splitting the cost of getting a larger space/2 extra rooms. They have to pay for their own families. We might be splitting expenses, but things that are obviously and easily identified as specific to a particular family, they have to foot the bill for.

    NTA. They are being ridiculous

  12. Bruin9098 Avatar

    No. Should absolutely be this way!

  13. Icy-Mix-6550 Avatar

    NTA. Quite frankly I wouldn’t want pets there. The people bringing them need to pay for them

  14. LoveLolaHeart Avatar

    My dog goes everywhere with me and I wouldn’t dream of not covering the additional costs myself. That’s ridiculous they would expect you to cover those fees. If they really want to approach this as their pets are members of their family, that means you are a party of 9 not 7 and those dogs better get a part time job now to cover their portion.

  15. MennionSaysSo Avatar

    NTA. Bring up you don’t make the single guy pay 1/4 even though you waste an empty spot because he can’t get a date.

  16. Nice_Neighborhood152 Avatar

    100% should be covered by the pet owners. Not debatable at all

  17. CarmenDeeJay Avatar

    Sounds like either the annual ski trip will be canceled, or some people will have to learn to take responsibility for their expenditures. I’d even bank on the difference of the old cabin to the new pet friendly cabin.

  18. Weary_Minute1583 Avatar

    NTA. I would never expect someone else to pay the pet fees for my dogs. I want them there then I pay.

  19. Hail-to-the-Sheep Avatar

    NTA. That’s bizarre they expect you to subsidize their dogs. Especially the Golden – my experience has been that pet fees are sometimes dependent on the size of the dog. They should reimburse the rest of you for some of that, but if they don’t and you still decide to travel with them in the future, I’d consider getting a pet free cabin for the pet free travelers and letting the couples with dogs figure out their own lodging.

  20. Auroraquinn087 Avatar

    NTA.

    I am going on a cottage weekend getaway with my boyfriend and friends; we are bringing our dog. The place has a pet fee – we are covering the fee ourselves because no way in hell am I making others pay for my pet.

  21. Brattney985 Avatar

    Um no, NTA. They need to pay for their own pet fees, that’s wildly entitled of them.

  22. TALKTOME0701 Avatar

    They’re family. Great. All the members of their family need to pay their share. Split it 9 ways.

    NTA

  23. Graysylum Avatar

    Nta. I would insist they cover it themselves, at least the specific pet fees and supplies (I’d still split the cabin itself as normal, even if it’s a more expensive cabin, because you are in fact still using it regardless of why, yk?). Tell them the dogs are welcome but the owner’s responsibility, financially and otherwise. What’s next, they have a baby and want you to add the baby’s formula for the week to everyone’s grocery bill?

  24. mdsnbelle Avatar

    NTA

    I’ve gone on vacation with dogs, and their fees and food are always covered by their humans.

    Good on you splitting the bill 7 ways otherwise. As the single person who gets to pay by room (and usually ends up with the shittiest one), at least you haven’t imposing a couples tax on him for the last four years!

  25. Specialist-Let-2659 Avatar

    as a person who travels with my pets, I agree. I personally cover the fee and take on the majority of the cleaning as I’m aware they shed so I’m contributing more mess.

  26. Effective-Piece-6229 Avatar

    Nta, if they can’t afford them they shouldn’t have them. Don’t pay

  27. worksafereads Avatar

    NTA, as a pet owner if i’m bringing my pets i’m covering the extra fees. my animals were my choice and my responsibility.

  28. ChocolateKey2229 Avatar

    Part of having a pet is covering their expenses, including their food and any pet fees associated with any type of rental.

    Their dog, their responsibility. NTA, they however are for trying to con the rest of the group

  29. Squinky75 Avatar

    IF they are family, then they pay for their family.

  30. weirdo-7934 Avatar

    That’s dumb they obviously should pay the pet fees themselves it’s their pets their responsibility duuuh
    I’m speaking as a pet owner

  31. tuigdoilgheas Avatar

    I would not expect you to cover the tab for my dogs and would just be grateful you were cool sharing a space with them to begin with. NTA.

  32. Contribution4afriend Avatar

    INFO: is this the first time? With the pet fee?

    If basically the pets are family, it’s their family fees. Like, extra guests? Yeah, they are the ones to pay.

    I would be petty and start bringing a pet too.

  33. Leading_Thought2396 Avatar

    You are correct. The people with extra pet fees should pay those. This reminds me of a story where I went out with a group of people for dinner. Two men ordered the most expensive wine possible than wanted to buy the bill between all of us when the majority of us weren’t drinking it. Those of us not drinking, declined to pay for the bottles of wine. This ticked off the two men, but those bottle ones together were $250 more on the bill.

  34. sunshine0810 Avatar

    If the dogs are family then divide the cost by 9 and they can cover the dogs’ portion

  35. HappyHiker2381 Avatar

    NTA I’m curious what the dogs are going to be doing while y’all are skiing? It doesn’t sound ideal for the dogs.

  36. HelenAngel Avatar

    NTA

    The pet owners must pay all the pet fees & costs. This is part of the responsibility of having a pet & bringing it. Do not enable them or they will keep pushing you to cover more & more of the additional costs.

  37. moretodolater Avatar

    Technically NTA, but if you want to have a friend group you’re gonna eat s$&t every now and may have to put a smile on about it.

  38. CuteDrive661 Avatar

    NTA. the people that brought the dogs should have said WITHOUT hesitation, those costs are ours, no one else brought animals, so they should not have to pay for them. I would never expect you to pay for my dog. That’s absurd.!!! It’s like if they bought an extra family member (to them they did). They should pay for that family member. Not you.

  39. OglioVagilio Avatar

    The dogs are family doesn’t preclude being responsible for their costs. The issue isnt whether or not they are allowed, but the financial implications.

  40. AgeRevolutionary3907 Avatar

    NTA. the dogs are their family, not yours, so they pay for it.
    Same thing if you invited your brother, which is family, would they pay for him?

  41. JGalKnit Avatar

    No, NTA. I love my dog, but I would assume to cover the extra expense if it added to others.

  42. aja_ramirez Avatar

    What the hell does dogs are family have to do with anything? NTA.

  43. Extension_Camel_3844 Avatar

    Nope, NTA, they need to remove those pet fee’s immediately. Zero ground to stand on to charge anyone else that fee and quite frankly, quite rude of them to do so.

  44. Euphoric_coffee-134 Avatar

    Im not paying extra for your pet.

  45. chicagoliz Avatar

    If I were bringing my dog on your vacation, I would just assume I was paying the pet fee myself.

    Absolutely NTA.

  46. HereWeGo_Steelers Avatar

    I would minus out the pet fees from my part of the payment and only pay that.

    Your “friends” are the AH for bringing their dogs and not expecting to pay more for that privilege.

    NTA

  47. Winger61 Avatar

    Can people come up better stories or original one.

  48. Tigger7894 Avatar

    NTA, the people bringing the pets should be paying for them. The fees, the food, and the cleaning stuff.

  49. trilliumsummer Avatar

    If dogs are family than the price is split by 9 and not 7 and the family of the dogs can figure out how the dog will pay them back.

    NTA

    People are saying you should have sorted it out before – but what reasonable person would think the pet owners wouldn’t pay for their pets!

    I’d send the money minus the pet cost saying they’re not my family so I’m not paying for them.

  50. 6poundpuppy Avatar

    Of course you’re NTAH. I’m just truly surprised that these people with the dogs were so flippant and oblivious to the additional cost that it never even occurred to them to cover the overage THEY caused. Are they stupid? Or just entitled? Also, it’s perfectly acceptable to point this out during the planning session…like You are bringing dogs this year? Ok Sure, and naturally …we assume you will be picking up those additional fees and costs of new room requirements. Right? No problem then.

  51. Careless-Ability-748 Avatar

    nta they absolutely should be paying those costs

  52. tdasnowman Avatar

    ESH. If you’ve always split things evenly the change should have been discussed. The problem here is everyone assumed it would be the same. Since your doing it after the fact it’s probably better to just eat the costs but clearly state next year pet owners pay for pet costs only.

  53. pmw1981 Avatar

    NTA – “not my pets, not my problem. You should’ve thought about the extra expenses before bringing pets along. I won’t be paying the pet fees, period. Figure it out because I’ve already sorted my own expenses & wont be subsidizing your carelessness.”

  54. Trusting_science Avatar

    I love all of my pets, but I am so sick of people treating pets like children. If the pets have to stay home, they would have to pay for boarding or a pet sitter or bribe some family member into doing it.

    NTA

  55. deviousvixen Avatar

    lol nta they don’t get to claim their are family so you all have to cover them… my kids are my family… but I’m not expecting anyone to foot the bill for them to go anywhere. I made them. Lol my responsibility. same with my cat. I
    We chose her and so expenses for her are paid by husband and I.

  56. ashleypooz Avatar

    NTA, unless you insist on them paying the entire difference. The pet fee and dog food should be paid by the pet owners, but presumably you all agreed to the cost of the rental before booking, so you’re on the hook for that. Nickel and diming cleaning supplies seems unnecessary too.
    You should remind the couple that they would have had to pay more than $25/day to board their dogs or get a pet sitter.

  57. RobinsonCruiseOh Avatar

    NTA. They are the asshole for thinking their spendy pets should be loved and shared by everyone. Tell them to make it right and to not be stingy a-holes. Next year seems like there should be a Pet and nonpet rentals.

  58. Tiny_Measurement_837 Avatar

    Big nope. Those who bring pets pay for their pets. If they left them home, they’d have to pay a kennel or a pet sitter. I’m a pet lover/owner and would NEVER expect someone else to have to pay more because of my pet. NTA.

  59. SpecialistAfter511 Avatar

    NTA it’s crazy a pet owner thinks it’s a shared expense. wtf!!!

    ANYONE thinking they are okay with paying it even thought not their dog is a pushover or has money to burn.

  60. dontlikebeige Avatar

    NTA.  My tactic in situations like this is to say that I did not expect to fund their pet’s vacation, and it’s unfortunate that they did not tell anyone ahead of time.  Then I stand back and see what they do.  Angry and asking if I’m asking for a refund?  Then I say not this time, but I will not be joining them next year.  If they pay their share, make sure you get everything clear next year before you go.  

    Here’s the thing:  don’t feel bad if the group vacay breaks up, because within a couple years, these same entitled couples will be bringing babies, putting you on the sofa bed, and expecting you to split costs by family.  You can’t penetrate their thought process, which is pretty much “people owe me.”

  61. Professor-genXer Avatar

    Absolutely NTA.

    I’m a dog person and I would never expect anyone else to pay my pet fees or for supplies.

    I recommend doing the math and paying your correct fair share:

    Total – pet fees, then divide by 7.

  62. Freedom_891 Avatar

    NTA! If multiple people in the group brought pets then I would understand if they got together and split all the pet fees but those in attendance who did not bring a pet should not incur a fee for those who did! I say this as a pet owner myself! If I don’t want to pay the fee I don’t bring my pet!

  63. geek66 Avatar

    OMFG – the pet owners are 100% responsible for these costs..

    to not step up and offer to pay at the beginning – is douchey AF

  64. Mjlinca Avatar

    It’s like lunch, separate checks, please.

  65. Visual-Back-545 Avatar

    I think I just read something similar, except it was with kids?

  66. persistent_admirer Avatar

    As a pet owner, I would insist on me covering any expense related to my pet. NTA

  67. Flimsy-Fortune-6437 Avatar

    So split the cost among all “family” members—all 9. The dogs each get to pay as much as any other family member

  68. Ok-Indication-7876 Avatar

    NTAH your pet friends are and they are taking advantage- you pay for your own kids and furbabies.

  69. submitnswallow Avatar

    Dude your wihining over $30 over 7 nights on a trip that’s likely costing you $800 per person, come the fuck on now…..

  70. jfcmofo Avatar

    That’d be like expecting you all to cover the cost of a larger place to accommodate the extended family they’re bringing.

  71. silvernile2001 Avatar

    They r trying to recover pet fees partly from you guys.. good friends will not even allow this to happen as they will take care of the extra cost by getting thier pets.. next time make sure that you mention it from before .. the pets maybe family to them not for others.. if the pets are so much of a family they be willing to shell out extra

  72. sfgothgirl Avatar

    OP NTA. They may be family, but they cost extra. If the dog is part of *your* family, then that’s *your* extra expense. Am I supposed to be helping pay for your kid’s meals? No? Great! Because I’m not expecting you to pay for my dog’s food.

    This reminds me of friends groups who go out to eat and the people who buy the most expensive thing and have three or four cocktails expect the person that had a small salad and a water to have to pay the same. NOPE!

  73. NotOneOfUrLilFriends Avatar

    NTA. Your friends are dumb. If I had to pay a kid fee being the only one with kids (and I have done that when going on family trips because I’m the only one with kids) I’d pay it myself. I’ll be paying for them anyway!

  74. Medical-Potato5920 Avatar

    NTA. I wouldn’t pay for the kids, and I wouldn’t pay for their dogs. It is clearly a charge that only benefits them.

    Split the accommodation equally, and they can split the pet fees between the pet owners. It’s their choice to bring their pets.

  75. NoContribution9322 Avatar

    NTA , if they insist tell them you are bringing your threee emotional support rocks that they need to add to the reservation and need to split the cost with you

  76. SnooWords4839 Avatar

    Dogs are their family, don’t pay extra.

  77. bambamslammer22 Avatar

    NTA, if a couple had kids and there was a child or extra person fee it wouldn’t be unreasonable for them to pay more. Same with pets.

  78. Gryrthandorian Avatar

    NTA. I’m not paying extra for booze because I don’t drink. Or when my friends kids break things. I’m also not paying extra for someone else’s pets. Let them know it wasn’t a request. You’re not comfortable picking up the extra cost so your share will be X.

  79. GalianoGirl Avatar

    NTA

    I have 6 pets. I pay for them, I do not expect anyone else to cover my expenses related to them

    If your friends brought children, they should be covering their costs too

  80. awesomereddit2 Avatar

    We bring our dog with us when we rent vacation spots and pay the pet fee separately from the shared costs. My dog is like my family so I am responsible for him and don’t expect others to pay for him.