To preface, I was 11 and 3 girls ganged up on me, grabbed my penis, and kicked me when I was walking home. (I talked back when they followed me and called me names. I should have ignored them). It fucked me up because I was aroused by it, and may have led to a 16-year porn addiction (since I received no female attention during those years).
Was discussing this with a woman I met through mutual friends, over text. Discussing past sexual experiences since we were talking about hooking up soon.
She said that it wasn’t as bad as when she was nipple-pinched by a guy, slapped, and groped.
I told her that both experiences were valid, and I’m no longer interested in continuing this. She didn’t respond.
Comments
Once you start comparing sexual assault, nobody wins.
NTA for shutting that down
nta trauma is not a contest
NTA
NTA good on you for shutting that down immediately
NTA sounds like she was trying to compete with you 🙄🤮
NTA
Anyone who tries to one up being SA’d is an asshole
NTA. This isn’t the trauma Olympics. You were still SA’d and I’m sorry people try and invalidate your feelings over it and make you feel like it wasn’t a big deal. It was and I’m sorry it happened to you OP.
NTA. You were assaulted, plain and simple. Sorry that happened to you.
NTA She was trying to instigate trauma Olympics. These conversations NEVER end well. Dont even engage them. You did well bro, and I’m sorry that shit happened to you.
Trauma is not a contest. All trauma is valid. You both experienced shitty situations. Why does she need hers to be more traumatic. Sounds like you dodged a bit of a bullet
NTA, she deliberately tried to minimise your trauma whilst maximising her’s. Trauma is trauma, regardless, and anyone who tries to play up theirs at the expense of others is the grade A AH. I hope you find a resolution to your trauma.
The fact that she jumped straight to comparing traumas shows her character. Both are very valid to be traumatized by and are equally disgusting. Those experiences also affect each person differently. NTA cutting her off is a good move
NTA Why would her being groped be worse than you being groped?
What context did you explain your trauma? I mean were you trying to be edgy and say how to turned you on and was the start of your kink?
NTA. SA is SA and honestly is kinda gross she said it wasn’t as bad.Â
NTA. She’s a rape apologist.
I’m very sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve it. Nothing you did excuses what was done to you. You were sexually assaulted. That should never, ever be discounted, minimized, or ignored by people you feel safe enough to talk about it.
Your response to the woman who tried to compare experiences was much more compassionate than I think I would have been.
You are NTA.
I’m proud of you for speaking up, getting better, and protecting your peace.
NTA. Shared trauma is not a way to start a relationship or friendship even. Sorry for the experience fam💜
I’m sorry that happened to you. Your experience is valid.
Trying to one up someone on being sexually assaulted is crazy behaviour.
NTA.
Run. She’s gonna compare every last emotion she has with you as if it is worse. I’m so sorry dude. You deserved to be heard.
NTA you are right and that was incredibly shitty of her.
F that misery poker, oppression Olympics. Assault is assault.
NTA at all. You both went through something extremely f’ed up. Hell, I’m a woman and I’d almost say yours was worse simply because male victims rarely get believed or are told “men can’t be SA’d” are congratulated for “getting action”.
NTA, but you’ll find that most women don’t want to hear that women can be predators as well – sincerely someone that was date raped by a woman
NTA. Sorry you had to go through this
NTA!!! OMG no one wins when you start comparing trauma. My best friend has had a an objectively harder life than me in terms of trauma and she has NEVER made me feel like mu trauma is less than hers because its not a competition. Anyone you’re around should be focused on healing trauma not comparing it.
Please find a qualified therapist or support group to discuss this. Reddit is not qualified.
Sorry you this happened to you.
NTA, you were also groped and beaten up??? That’s the same kind of sexual assault!
There is a subclass that truly believe men can’t be SA by women.