Long story short- my ex and I broke up in May this year and we had a joined bank account. She also had a credit card and I was an additional card holder.
From time to time I’d give her money to help pay for her tuition and any other bills she has. She always said she will pay me back.
Then we broke up after I found out she cheated on me with someone from her lectures.
She then said she’d never pay me back and I should treat it as a gift.
As I began closing down our bank accounts, I realised I was still on the credit card in her name. I never really used the additional card she gave me, mainly because I could support myself.
I went ahead and spent $4000 on the credit card to pay for some furniture (as she kept my bed and fridge) as a way of paying me back some of my money and for the furniture I left her.
Now it’s become a whole thing, but I feel I did what was right in my mind. I didn’t ask her to cheat on me. But she did. So I was getting back some of my money.
Comments
[deleted]
NTA. She cheated, refused to pay you back, and kept your furniture? Sounds like the credit card was the only justice you were gonna get.
NTA would she have paid you back eventually? Highly doubt it.
Morally NTA but I wonder if legally you may get in trouble.
Let her take you to court and you can file a
countersuit
NTA, and text her and say I will consider us even if you stop. If we go to court I will seek the full $8000 plus interest.
Think you still have an outstanding balance of $4000 you need to spend
NTA. If I were you I would buy another 4000 worth of stuff and call it even.
[deleted]
Your only tah because basically because you can go to jail for what you did. What she did was a civil matter and what you did was theft. In this world you can not take justice into your own hands. And from the amount you took from the credit card you committed a felony. I can personally understand what you did but legally is was very wrong and she could press charges cause she sounds like that type.
You committed credit card fraud. There are legal ways to seek recompense, and crime isn’t one of them. ESH.
NTA. Good job!
NTA, she can consider it a gift
To which she could say a whole host of things to make this turn ugly. Nothing worse then a scorned woman.
NTA – She still owes you $4000.
YTA for the self help collecting but I understand
NTA After the furniture I would have went and bought a ton of visa gift cards for compensation.
NTA U shouldve spent 8000 Dollars on it u aint seeing another Penny otherwise
She’s screwed because your an authorized user on her card.. she can’t claim fraud.. and your screwed if you go to small claims because they might consider the money gifts since it was in a relationship. You don’t get a refund on a relationship if it goes bad. Call it even and move on. Both of you.
$4k? Regardless of the background, she could take you to court.
You might want to at the very least, consult a lawyer before that happens.
Should have used it to buy something easily monetizable but close enough. Also is that number the $4,000 how much she owed you from what you lent her? If it was then youre even I guess.
NTA. You still have 4000 dollars to spend
She put you on the card, so she clearly intended you to use it.
She owed you money, now she owes that money to her credit card company. So from her point of view, nothing changed.
NTA as long as you are an authorized user on the account, you had every right to do it. Not your problem she did everything she did and didn’t take you off the account!
You committed fraud. If she calls the cops you’re toast.
In a similar situation and basically the gist I got is that it is legal for you to use the card if you’re an authorized user, but the nuance comes in as to who pays the bill. Thankfully in my case I have it in writing that he agreed to pay for what he spent on the card so while I was stuck paying for it temporarily to not hurt my credit, at the end of the day, he owes me that money back. In your case, you probably should have to pay the bill but she should also have to pay you so when one of you files a case against the other, the other files a counter claim and they’ll balance it out.
Updateme
YTA. Unless she okd it, that’s credit card fraud.
UpdateMe
Sounds like you’re a Legal Asshole. Your ex is rightfully pissed but she can’t do anything about it. I’d be pissed off too but I would have taken steps to prevent you from doing this as I’ve had to do in the past. I think your move was more in line with being a sneaky spiteful jerk.
I mean she let signed the agreement for the supplementary card. Would work same as a joint bank account, i think? Id say your good
Good riddance to her.
I mean if youre an authorized user then you honestly did nothing wrong. She shoulda took you off before cheating
You supported her financially, she cheated ,she kept fridge and furniture and you only got 4k back?
Man at times im kinda down im single but then read stuff like this and feel so blessed to be drama free
NTA, but legally this may have been credit card fraud or something.
Legally, you are not allowed self-help. Things paid while together will be considered shared expenses. Money spent after the breakup are not. So you each owe the money back. She has to pay you back for the tuition and bills. You have proof of her acknowledging she owes and will not pay. She also has proof you spent after the breakup. If it went to court, you would pay back the self-help immediately. And she would have a longer timeline for paying back your loan. It would not just cancel out.
I would consult a lawyer who specializes in financial issues before taking advice of “you were an authorized user, she can’t claim fraud” seriously. IANAL, but I’d bet that if this went to court, the prosecution would point out that any reasonable person would recognize that the account owner didn’t want or intend for OP to use the card, whether they’d reclaimed the card or not. Whether they owe you money or not is probably going to be considered an entirely separate issue, and you could well face charges of credit card fraud.
Too bad you couldn’t have charged the full 8k
Nta.
She seems like a parasite.
I would be carefully of borrowing people money in the future. I have been fucked over by borrowing my family member money as well.