Context: I (27m) am abroad on holiday with my girlfriend (30f).
She’s been screaming in her sleep, waking me up but she herself stays asleep, I woke her up and asked her if she was okay and if she needed anything. She totally ignored me and went back to sleep.
Now we are at lunch and she’s treating me with such disdain.
We are also on holiday with my best friend (also 27m) and his partner (28f).
They think I’m being treated extremely unfairly aswell.
Comments
NAH ask her about it tomorrow. It could be sleep deprivation or some kind of trauma she’s extremely embarrassed about.
NTA she’s out of line. She was doing something weird and you reacted normally by waking her up (what are you supposed to do just close your eyes and go back to sleep while she screams) and if she’s acting out at you now then she’s being a jerk.
Its a real red flag when people are assholes on vacation like this. Like we are traveling for pleasure you can’t just be a cow constantly.
NTA. what were you supposed to do, just let her scream? you were concerned, thats a normal reaction. Her giving you the silent treatment over it is bizarre.
Well that’s how it goes in the movie right, when your partner is screaming during sleep, you have to wake up your partner. That’s what you did and that is the right thing to do.
It is actually concerning if it is the other way around and she will not wake u up if u scream during ur sleep. Right?
NTA. If roles were reversed and you were screaming in your sleep, she’d probably be panicked and try to help too. You’re not her sleep disorder specialist, you’re her partner. Of course you’re going to check on her.
Her screaming disturbed your sleep, and it’s reasonable to try to stop that disruption, especially if it happens repeatedly
It sounds like night terrors. My son had them for years. She may be embarrassed that you witnessed them.
Super weird. Is she aware that if hotel staff hears her scream they could knock down your door? NTA.
Based only on this post, this sounds like parasomnia. Specfically night terrors.
I have this and when having a “episode” my wife says im therr and not there. She said i can carry on a conversation to not remember it on the morning.
Maybe something happened in her dream/nightmare that’s really bothering her, and it’s not the fact that you woke her up, as waking them up is the logical next step
Honestly it’s wild how some people expect you to just ignore their partner screaming in the middle of the night like what’s the logic there? I was worried and checked in, how is that a problem? Treating someone like crap on holiday is a huge red flag if you ask me I’m just here trying to enjoy the trip not deal with unnecessary drama Glad others see it too because this behavior ain’t it
Honestly it’s wild how some people expect you to just ignore their partner screaming in the middle of the night like what’s the logic there? I was worried and checked in, how is that a problem? Treating someone like crap on holiday is a huge red flag if you ask me I’m just here trying to enjoy the trip not deal with unnecessary drama Glad others see it too because this behavior ain’t it
Acting sulky and pouting on vacation? Nah, that is totally not ok. You are also travelling with friends, so it`s rude as well. Even if she had beef with you, treating other travelling companions poorly is not ok. Is she usually like this?
NTA, she probably feels self-conscious about it and doesn’t know how to acknowledge and own it. Give her space and she will snap out of it since you did nothing wrong.
Just don’t make things worse by pushing for a resolution. Try and let it go…
Man I’d get a separate room for that. Also feels like she knew this happens and just decided not to say anything and is pissy someone knows. (But like, how tf were you supposed to go about that)
Have you considered that she had a nightmare about something traumatic in her past and this isn’t personal and she’s having a hard time with it?
Leave her screaming. And go sleep on the couch or on a hammock outside since you’re on holiday
NTA she is acting extremely juvenile.
INFO: How long has this been going on, both the night screams and the relationship? Is the relationship a few months or years in and the screaming is new, or has she always had night screams?
NTA. She was being annoying by disturbing your sleep in the first place.
Maybe she dreamed you were hurting her? I know that very vivid dreams like that can affect my whole day.
I am only talking about this because this is what happened to my ex. Randomly starts screaming in her sleep from night terrors. I find out she was SA and it gave her trauma that kept showing itself in her sleep.
NTA, maybe she is damaged a bit and you should probably dodge a bullet when you are back by ending it! Maybe i am TA so maybe don’t listen to me.
I wish you luck either way!
Info: Have you tried to talk to her about it?
NTA. You should record her screaming and show it to her. Ask her how she would react if you started doing that in the middle of the night.
This honestly is the most bizarre question I’ve ever tried to answer lately on Reddit.
Your gf has nightmares that make her scream in her sleep, and you think waking her is a bad idea? Did she specifically tell you she is mad you woke her and why? Or just treating you with disdain?
I would ask her specifically to clarify what she would prefer you to do if she is screaming every night while she sleeps and you do not. I think anyone in their right mind would wake up their partner if they screamed in their sleep.
She should tell you about these dreams, too.
ETA – if she can’t remember her dreams, it is possible she has night terrors. She may honestly not remember. This is a sleep disorder that can be confusing. But that would mean she is giving you the cold shoulder for some other reason and she needs to communicate. You both need to talk.
This happens to me when I travel sometimes. Not the screaming, but something happens with REM and I am prone to sleepwalking or talking.
The being mad at you is weird though