UPDATE AS OF THIS MORNING: She texted back and said “Good morning. After thinking about it, we’ve decided to stick with our original gift. 😊”
AITAH — My MIL asked my DH if someone with a huge monster truck/SUV (not sure still) could come to our house and take my 6 year old son on a drive down the street (culdesac) the day after his birthday. He said “she researched and found a commercial sign shop and toured the facility and they seemed really nice and they have this truck they sometimes let people drive in for parties.” I asked who they were and I couldn’t find anything about this car service or a person even tied to the sign shop. All I have is a business card to the shop. AITAH for asking her who the person driving my son down the street is?
My husband thinks I’m being “controlling.” I said, “if my mom came to us with the same thing, tell me you wouldn’t feel the same way as I do?” His response, “Your Mom doesn’t do cool things, at least my mom is out there trying to do cool things.”
Also think it’s strange she only asked him and left me out of it. I texted her and asked who the driver is, and I haven’t heard back.
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AITAH — My MIL asked my DH if someone with a huge monster truck/SUV (not sure still) could come to our house and take my 6 year old son on a drive down the street (culdesac) the day after his birthday. He said “she researched and found a commercial sign shop and toured the facility and they seemed really nice and they have this truck they sometimes let people drive in for parties.” I asked who they were and I couldn’t find anything about this car service or a person even tied to the sign shop. All I have is a business card to the shop. AITAH for asking her who the person driving my son down the street is?
My husband thinks I’m being “controlling.” I said, “if my mom came to us with the same thing, tell me you wouldn’t feel the same way as I do?” His response, “Your Mom doesn’t do cool things, at least my mom is out there trying to do cool things.”
Also think it’s strange she only asked him and left me out of it. I texted her and asked who the driver is, and I haven’t heard back.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I texted my MIL asking for information on who this person/company is. (2) Should I just trust her judgement and let it happen? If an adult is in the car would it be okay then? We have a rocky relationship anyway (unspoken/just very tense).
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, you’re wanting to keep your own son safe and if your MIL has an issue with it just say no and that you’re not comfortable
He’s calling u ‘controlling’ for wanting to know who’s driving ur six-year-old in a monster truck? That’s insane. And his ‘cool things’ comment? That’s just plain disrespectful. It’s not about being cool, it’s about knowing who’s behind the wheel of a massive vehicle with ur kid inside. The fact that she only asked him and not u? That’s shady. U have every right to be concerned. And if she can’t even give u a name, that’s a huge red flag.
wft? “cool things”? is your husband a parent or the spoiled rich 13 year old who lives down the street who’s always getting in trouble?
nta, obv.
NTA. If you cant even find out information or verify these are legit business people don’t let him go. Your husband is also a huge red flag. Cool? Your husband is a grown man. Not a high schooler.
NTA
“Cool things” like you’re going to trust just anybody to scoop your little boy up and drive away with him in a monster truck? Your husband needs a checkup from the neck up if he’s still tied that tightly to mommy’s apron strings.
NTA. We literally teach children not to get in a car with a stranger.
NTA. It is entirely reasonable to ask who would be taking your young son for a ride in a large vehicle. Your husband’s comment to you is disrespectful. I will say I don’t think it’s strange that MIL asked her own son about this rather than you, unless normally she goes to you with this sort of ask.
“We are literally teaching our son not to get into cars with strangers, even if the stranger is offering him something ‘cool’ like candy or seeing a puppy. Your mother is bizarrely suggesting that we should encourage him to get into a car with a stranger because the car itself is ‘cool’…and you see no problems just going along with that? We don’t know who this person is, we don’t know if they have a criminal record or a bad driving history or even if the car has appropriate seat belts for a small child. The fact that you are dismissing those concerns in the name of ‘cool’ is incredibly disturbing…you are his parent too, you should be the one asking these kinds of questions.”
NTA. Does your husband often undermine your parenting concerns like this? Because declaring basic questions to be “controlling” is so bizarre it feels like a kind of projection…like he doesn’t believe you have any parental authority over your son
MBTA Why do you assume it’ll just be the driver and your son? It’s a cul de sac. Not like he’d be out on the highway.
NTA and I’m sorry if you’re just finding out you married a psychopath who doesn’t give 2 cares about his own child’s safety. I’d be leaving in the middle of night with my child and our clothes on our back if anything like this ever occurred with my husband and MIL. I am not kept out of decisions that involve my child. You can bet this is some dumb bubba on his 4th DUI driving that thing. There’s a reason they won’t tell you. You are so screwed, I’m sorry, you are never going to make it in this marriage. Get out.
Your trifling husband and his mama are huge AHs. You’re NTA! Vehicle accidents can be unexpected and deadly. Your baby is precious cargo. The least you should know if who would be driving him. What are their credentials, who are they affiliated with, how long have they done this? Your concerns are completely valid. MIL would not have access to my child again. I would be taking inventory of all the times my husband had invalidated my feelings. I know this isn’t isolated.
NTA. Dafuq kind of business does a six-year-old have in such a vehicle? And how is that merely your husband’s decision—and his mother’s, apparently?
Is your son interested in “monster trucks”? If yes, what’s the harm with a parent joining him in the truck? The driver would be fully responsible. Doesn’t sound like any “off-road” adventuring would be possible.
I wouldn’t have been concerned until giving me a name for the business was suddenly a problem. No reason why that shouldn’t be a “here you go, isn’t this cool?” Response rather than “why do you need to know?” Then I’d start worrying there was an issue that’s being hidden or that they are playing mind games with me.