So I (17) had originally planned to take my mom and immediate family to Destin Florida. I have been saving money from my job and had the hotel covered. I had a hotel picked out and everything. I then told my mom about the trip and she said “We should just go to Disney”…. I said well Disney is higher and the prices for tickets and a hotel are insane. She proceeds to want to change the hotel and tell me what she wants the hotel to be. I’m like ok that’s fine. But she keeps looking at hotels in Orlando for Disney and is no longer enthusiastic about going to Destin.
I then think about maybe making the drive to Orlando to go to the Disney park for a day and just get tickets for that day. I ask my grandmother if we can get a loan because I know what I have saved isn’t going to be enough for Disney tickets. I originally thought about the loan when my mom said she didn’t want to just go walk around Destin but also wanted to buy things too which i understand. My mom is now saying she can’t go because her friend is sick and she has to sign my sister up for school… At this point I’m over it because she’s changed hotels 3 times and is always complaining about something regarding the trip. We’re supposed to leave Thursday.
I wanted to do this to have a nice vacation for our family but now I just kind of feel like it was doomed from the start.
Comments
NTA. u were literally planning to pay for the whole thing and she kept changing stuff and acting like it was her trip. i’d be frustrated too. it’s ur money and ur effort, she shoulda been more grateful
OP, cancel it. Your mom is clearly ungrateful and will just complain. Cancel the hotel stay and save the money. Spend it on yourself!
If you can, go by yourself tbh and have fun. However I assume you cannot rent a hotel being under 18?
Nah babe, you are not the asshole, you were being generous af and they acted entitled. You’re 17 and trying to plan a whole fam vacay?? That’s wild impressive, and if they can’t appreciate it, cancel that mess and treat yourself instead.
Sorry that your mom is being difficult when you were trying to do something nice. But you don’t have to cancel because it sounds like your mom already did. Let her be the villain in this, not you.
NTA fr. u were tryna do something rlly nice and she basically hijacked the whole plan. like who complains that much when someone else is paying for a whole vacation?? u don’t owe anyone a trip
Don’t waste your money on your ungrateful mother. She should be paying for you, not the other way around.
NTA
NTA. Why would you pay for a family trip and your mother wouldn’t contribute financially? Especially when she’s demanding more and more expenses to pay out of your pocket? You’re a kid. She’s the parent. She’s supposed to be the one paying for family vacations.
Just cancel the whole thing and save your money. Your mother seems highly entitled and ungrateful. Spend your money on yourself. Or better yet, keep saving so you can get away from her and live on your own.
NTA – You’re 17. 17 year olds don’t pay for family vacations. Save your money and spend it on something nice for yourself.
NTA. She wants Disney? She can plan and pay for Disney. Cancel it all.
Change the trip to you and one of your friends……..Going to Disney.
Take the loss for the cancellation and tell the people involved it’s off. You are 17 and paying for a vacation. That’s super generous and they should be grateful. If they want to go to Disney they can pay for themselves.
Save your money.
Cancel the group trip and take the vacation by yourself, where You want to go. Two of the nicest vacations of my life happened when the person going with me had to cancel ( different people, years apart in time) and I chose to go alone. I had wonderful experiences both times.
Probably better than I would have had with company, honestly.
Why is a 17 year old planning the family vacation?
NTA Save the money. And go with a friend when you are 18 next year. Your mom is being ungrateful so I would not spend a dollar taking her anywhere.
Go alone or with a good friend!! Mom is too much!!
Just go without her and enjoy yourself. Don’t let her ruin your trip. You can turn it around and have some nice time.
NTA, cancel the trip and instead do something nice for yourself. People should be grateful. Especially when a child (legally speaking) is providing!
NTA. Save your money and use it on yourself. Your mother is selfish.
Tell mom you’re sorry it just isn’t going to work out with the changes and budget. AND THEN SAVE that money for a trip when you are 18 without family. You’ll have a great beach trip.
Save your money! Why are you spending your money on your family at 17?
What an amazing young gentleman or lady you are. It warms my heart that a 17 year old can be so selfless to want to spend their money on a nice trip for your family. Good for you and whomever the positive influence in your life is because it definitely isn’t your mom.
I’m sorry about your mom. Instead of being over the moon (most parents would be) that their child is so sweet and generous, she kinda told you your gift wasn’t good enough and she wanted something better that she couldn’t afford and should already know that you can’t afford it either.
Please don’t ever take on debt for your mom. She’s never going to be grateful and she’ll just expect more of you as time goes on. Save that money, save all the money you can, and build yourself a nice life.
I can tell you that Disney in July/August is miserably hot. 0/10 do not recommend.
It seems like she doesn’t want you to spend your $$$ on vacation rn.
Honestly man, NTA. You’re tryna do something nice here, but it’s turning into a major headache, cuz she keeps shifting the goalposts. Seems ungrateful tbh. Prolly best to cancel, save the money for something for yourself. You deserve the break too.
Cancel the trip, your mum is ungrateful.
Keep the money safe and use it after graduation to go on a trip with friends who will pay their way and be grateful to go somewhere together. Who knows where you will end up. Good luck and I hope you get into a good college if that’s what you want
And have your mom read this
Save your money!!!
Do NOT spend your money – at 17 – on your mom. You are underage. She should be spending this money on YOU!! instead shes looking a gift horse in the mouth and demanding better accommodations!!!
Put that money in a safe place and use it to move out or go to school!!!
Do you have someone else to go with? Everyone is saying cancel but I’d just take a friend and go! Or like others said treat yourself.
Sorry about your mom being lame. Sometimes choosing to deprioritize family is hard but healthy.
I’m so sorry your mom sucks. I have a 17 year old and would be so grateful and impressed if he took the initiative to save and plan for a trip for us. I would be happy to go anywhere he chose and especially be happy to have the time together. You deserve better than this.
You don’t “walk around Destin”. You go sit on the beach, walk in the surf, swim in the water, and breath in the salt air. It’s heavenly. I’m sorry you got stuck with such an unimaginative, shallow mom.
Go somewhere you want to with the money you just saved.
NTA. She should have said, thank you, and then shut up and had a good time in Destin. Perhaps you could spend the money on yourself? Maybe take a friend or two to Destin and have a good time. Enjoy!
You’re 17. You shouldn’t be paying for it…
NTA
I would be over the moon proud and excited to go on a trip my kid was planning and paying for, even if it was just out to our front yard with a bucket of chicken they picked up on their way home.
Don’t over-extend your budget, take out loans, or change plans for anyone. Either cancel and keep your money, or if you can get there on your own or with friends/family that want to go with you do that.
As a mom with newly working kids I’m here to tell you I’m proud of how hard you have been working, and I appreciate the kind thing you were doing for your family.
Floridian here: you don’t want to go to Disney now. You will pay 100s to stand in line, sweat profusely and try not to get heat sick. NTA
NTA – Vacations, even inexpensive ones, cost TEN TIMES what you think they will cost. That goes double for Disney. Disney is VERY hard to do. You stand in long lines. Pay crazy amounts for basic things. Have to deal with horrible crowds of people struggling with similar issues…. ugh. It’s hard enough with a well-adjusted family. Don’t even think about going with someone who demands things like this.
Save your money. Pay to go to a trade school. Become an electrician and outearn everyone you know in 5 years.
NTA… and please don’t take a loan out for people (or rather, your mom) who is acting entitled and ungrateful for such a kind gesture from her child.
You should never get a loan for a trip like this. If your mother wants Disney she can pay the difference.
NTA, what an ungrateful person . Ugh, save your money OP, and FYI keep your money info to yourself please, otherwise everyone and their momma will be at you with their hand out. Wait a bit then have a trip just for you.
No, OP, do NOT bend to your mom’s entitlement. If she wants to go to Disney, she can damn well pay for it herself.
You offering to pay to for a few days vacation, at 17, is more than generous.
NTA
Perhaps she, your mom is just overwhelmed. Life can be a lot sometimes and maybe she just doesn’t know how to express her feelings. Please don’t be bitter about it if I were you this is what I would do and I wish I had taken this advice myself when I was your age… Take some of that money and go to a fiduciary financial planner,
It’s important that you see somebody that is a fiduciary because they are legally obligated to give you advice that is in your best interest and not just do things to help themselves make money when you go see them open up an individual retirement account and then put some amount of money in there every month and you will really appreciate it when you’re older
You do realize Destin is over 400 miles away from WDW. Without stopping at all, it’s a 6+ hr drive.
Cancel! They can pay for it if they want that place so badly. I feel like she is taking advantage of you paying.
NTA. Cancel. Go to New York City after graduation and fuck Florida altogether it’s a wretched place
NTA, why are you, 17 yrs old, paying for this trip? Your mom sounds ungrateful. Cancel this trip and save your money. Save it for a graduation trip with friends or to move out!
Your mom is so ungrateful, holy crap. If my kids saved money for a vacation for us idc where we would be going, what she wants, I want. And I would be so proud of her for saving her money and delaying gratification. Not a lot of adults can even do that. Don’t take a loan out for Disney, unless your mom is going to do it. Do you have another safe adult to go with?
First, I commend you as a 17 year old with the thoughtfulness of saving up money for a family trip, you are going to make a wonderful partner/parent one day.
Second, your mother should have accepted the gesture for what it is, a child wanting to spend time with the family and not hijack it to make it into something she wants. If she wanted Disney let her pay for Disney.
Third, you have the right to just cancel after all this back and forth. Keep on saving that money and treat yourself to something that will make you happy.
Take some friends with you, or don’t go and continue to save money.
NTA. Cancel the trip orrrr invite a friend or two (depending on how many tix you planned to get), and go as a small group!
NEVER go into debt for a vacation.
NTA. Your mom is a PITA.
Spend the money on yourself! Treat yourself!
nta cancel it. You should not be taking out a loan to go on vacation just to please your mom.
Wait till you’re 18 then take a solo trip.
NTA. Cancel it and do something you want with the money, whether it’s saving it for a deposit on an apartment when you turn 18, money for college, or something you’ve been wanting. Life’s too short to deal with that kind of bullshit
NTA. OP save your money, and enjoy it.
Hi!
A lot of people are saying cancel the trip, a lot are saying go alone.
I do have a couple questions for context I would like.
Are you a girl/boy?
Are you able to go by yourself/do you even want to?
What is in Destin that you were planning on visiting?
Can you drive/do you have a car/license?
Cancel it. You are amazing for trying to give your family a vacation, but if they are not going to appreciate it, you may as well save the money for something else.
See… I would have expected the 17 year old to complain about going Destin… not the grown ass adult. Cancel it. What you offered was an amazingly generous gift, especially given you saved from your job. I have the utmost respect for you doing that.
Definitely do not take a loan. I guess if your Mom wants to pay for the delta between Destin and Orlando, that’s an option but she comes across awful here.
NTA…. This belongs on R/Choosingbeggars
Go ahead and cancel it. I hope everything’s fully refundable.
Use that money as a graduation gift to yourself, and take a trip with your friends.
NTA. Do NOT take out a loan to finance more of a trip than you wanted and know you can afford!!!
One, financially you should never do that. And having good financial management is a key part of becoming a responsible adult.
Second, you tried to do something nice for your family and your mom not only does she not appreciate it, but she is purposely making it difficult and does not seem financially responsible. Sometimes the best things we can learn from parents are what not to do.
Plan your own vacation.
NTA. It’s a really nice thing that you planned. But now it’s ruined. I get it. Cancel the trip. Maybe you can take your sister to Destin or something later!
I did kinda the same thing when I was just a couple years older than you. It’s a nice thought but a no-win situation for you. Save your money and stay home. (Take mom to dinner if you feel the need).
NTA – I’m 23 and my mom still pays for things she wants to do on our vacations. You’re 17 and extremely generous which is really good but don’t let people take advantage of your generosity because many will try to do so. I’m sorry it’s your family that is doing that and being ungrateful.
You should keep your money. Save them for college, a downpayment for an apartment, or a fun trip with friends.
BELIEVE ME as a broke college student who saved to study abroad, you’re gonna thank yourself for doing so later in life. I haven’t had a job (not by choice but bc I’m on a student visa) for 1.5 years, which I made possible because of my own personal savings and because being responsible with my money led me to be able to get a bank loan.
Go and leave your mom….
Oof just saw you’re 17. My goodness your mom is a huge ungrateful jerk. If you can get your money back cancel everything and wait until your old enough to take yourself and sis on vacation
Is 17 a legal adult in your state, go by yourself
Cancel the trip and spend the money on yourself, or save the money and take a trip yourself when you turn 18.