I lost my daughter when she was only 6. She wanted to see her dad so bad at the hospital but he never showed up. He came after my daughter passing. I ask why he did that and his answer was that ‘ she’s not my daughter’ I was shocked. I said to him “ you accepted to be her dad when she only 2 so why this” I got quiet. He left town that same month my daughter passing. I did not hear from him again till today. He came begging to be with me again after 3 and half years. What should I do?
AITAH I lost my daughter
r/AITAH
Comments
Show his ass the road. When the going got tuff he got gone.
Tell him no
Fuck that. He can’t be there for a dying 6 year old. He has no loyalty or love. He’s a disgusting human being. Leave his ass in the passed.
The trash took itself out, don’t bring it back in.
I don’t mean to be insensitive and I am so sorry for your loss. – But wtf? Ignore his ass and obviously your NTA. Why are you even asking?
What a complete shit of a person
Why haven’t you blocked him everywhere. He shouldn’t be able to contact you, at all.
Tell him to fuck off and pretend like you don’t exist.
I don’t know why you want spoiled trash.
“Awwww, that’s sweet. But… she’s not your daughter, and I’m not your booty call OR girlfriend. Byeeee”
Dropping words of wisdom from Maya Angelou:
When people show you who they are, believe them.
Please, OP. You deserve better.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hang in there. There are better men than him in the world.
make a grindr or craigslist ad with his number on it. bottom4you2enjoi, lickylickysuckysucky
alternatively, you can tell him he can fuck right off and crawl back to whatever hole he came out of. i would also refer to him as trash too, in said message 🥰
Shut that door as hard as you can and never speak to him again. He is gaslighting you and didn’t even care about your daughter.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Don’t compound your grief by taking this disrespectful and disingenuous man. You deserve better.
Best wishes for happiness
Honestly?
Tell him to piss off.
Tell him to F off!
You pretend he never existed.
REGARDLESS of whether or not your daughter was his biological kid or not, a child he knew and was in his life for 4 years asked to see someone she cared about – him – while she was suffering, and he didn’t even offer some human decency to visit. Like wtf? If an old acquaintance was in the hospital and asked to see me, I would go.
He isn’t a human. He doesn’t exist. You need nothing but pure happiness in your life moving forward, so that you can move forward with your daughter in spirit, and he isn’t that.
Edit: I am so sorry not only for your loss, but also for how this man turned out to be because I am sure you did care for him and maybe still do. I understand how this can be difficult for you.
bro you might have to bring him to pound town, that’s like some pure evil to not show up to the hospital when your kids dying. NTA in the slightest 😭
No.
Simple answer. Absolutely not.
I wouldn’t forgive him in this life or the next.
Some things go WAY above and beyond.
Never. Ever.
I’m sorry to say many many years ago I had a boyfriend, a fiance home I lived with and something tragic happened and he vanished and about 3 years later I was at a garage sale and I turned around and he walks up to me and says well. I bet you’re surprised to see me here. I looked him dead in the face and said I’m surprised you bothered to speak and turned around and walked away and never looked back. There are always people in this world that when something horrible happens they don’t know how to deal with it. They can’t deal with it. They don’t want to deal with it and they walk away and when they figure you’ve had enough time and space that being around you would not be any stress at all for them. They pop back up and expect you to just open the door. The thing is that’s not a friend. That’s not someone you love. That’s not someone you need in your life. That is someone who wants you there when they need it. But they don’t really want to put forth any effort when you need somebody. I am so sorry that your daughter had to pass without seeing a man. She considered to be her father and I am so sorry you had to deal with that and not being able to give her her last wish. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it better, but I don’t know anyone I can at this point. Even if there was time travel, the only thing you’d be able to do that would have helped would be to go all the way back and never bothered to make him part of your life. I think it’s the only way you would have avoided that pain and maybe you’d have found somebody a week later. Who would have been there every step of the way with you? We don’t know. It’s just the way it goes.
No one on here can make this decision for you. We can all tell you what we think and I’m sure somebody’s going to say well. Maybe he’s matured. Maybe he’s gotten better at hiding his attitude.
5 years ago I was my mother’s caregiver for her final 7 months. My brother was there and saw her pretty much every single day. My sister saw her once in 7 months. She’s not good with sick people. She’s not good with people who are dying. She’s not good with hospitals. She’s not good with funerals. I got to be honest with you to me. It’s a bunch of excuses not to have even spent an hour with the woman who gave birth to you when you know she’s dying. She’s still my sister. She’ll always be my sister but definitely very limited contact. I find it very hard to forgive that kind of thing. My answer if I was going to tell you what to do, I can’t. I can tell you what I do. I do exactly to him what I did to that guy at the garage sale. I’d look him dead in the face and say I’m surprised you bothered to speak and walk away. He wants to be there for the good times but he doesn’t want to be there for the bad times and you deserve better than that in your life
NTA
Don’t take him back. There’s just no way this wound can heal, so even if you both really wanted, your relationship would be stunted forever.
It’s better to move on and (for him) to do better next time and (for you) heal forward.
FUQ NO. He is not dependable when real life starts LIFE’in.
When you will need him, he will abandon you, if you allow him back in.
no girl, he left in one of the most difficult and painful moments in your life. You shouldn’t even be asking what to do. That’s a hard no for him. He hurt you.
go on, someone and something better is waiting for you
Introduce him to your worst enemy.
If you leave a cave full of bears, do you go back in?
You don’t want to shove a turd back in your asshole once you’ve gotten off the toilet do you?
No!
So leave the Shit to the sewers-exactly where he belongs.
I don’t know why you’re even thinking about it.
Fuck….him……
Dear OP.
Not only you lost a person so dear to your heart and so young. I can’t imagine the grief you are going through.
But a man you trusted in the past also betrayed you on a basic human request. Visit a dying daughter
You are the YTA if you even contemplating this thought.
And there is some major information you didn’t provide like how you feel About him.
If I come to you and ask you to take me in. I guess I’m a stranger and you will throw me out
Then he told you the dying daughter is not his daughter and this is why he didn’t come despite your daughter continuing to ask for him to come?
I as a stranger and would have come quickly if a dying young person wants to see before she dies. This is just because of being a nice person..
What are you thinking?
And then he disappeared and then – He comes back, asking to take him back in, and you ask for our advise?
Again WHAT ARE YOU Thinking ????
I think you will be better of taking me based on the above than even considering talking this AH back.
You should do nothing, just like he did for you and your daughter.
He is of zero consequence. Go fine anyone, anyone else would be better.
Fuuuuuuck no
Low effort rage bait
Also there’s nsfw advertising
Hard times show you who really matters.
Sounds like he’s not worth the heartbreak.
If you go back, you’re a terrible mother to say the least
You’re NTA. But I don’t understand.
Was this guy actually her father? Because he said “she’s not my daughter.”
Just trying to understand the scenario.
Toss him back.
im so sorry for your loss also please do not give him the time of the day he left you when you needed him and your daughters last wish was to see her father and he couldn’t even turn up to fufil her last wishes and on top of that he told you that your daughter wasn’t his now after 3 years he wants to come back the audacity do not allow him back you deserve so much better than that trash if he starts bothering you get a restraining order
What do you mean, ‘what should i do?’ He abandoned both you and your dying daughter when you needed him most. He’s garbage. What is there to event think about? Hard pass, he’s a loser
:eave him in the rearview you know he won’t be there when is counts
What. you. should. do?
Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Or are you just a masochist who enjoy losing their daughter and boyfriend at the same time that you want to experience it again?
Yes take him back. You’re too stupid to know the difference anyway.
Is it really a question!?
Don’t! Block him.
Nope nope nope. Perfectly ok to hold that grudge. He is not a good person.
Tell him to go FUCK himself.
Shows the exit port.
NTA
Block his number.
Never speak to him again, love. He is unworthy of your presence. Stand firm for you and for your sweet baby girl.
No is a complete sentence
I think you know the answer.
Try this… and I quote “GFY”
Is it maybe possible he thought the child was in the way? He comes back after she passes? You need to ditch him asap.