I (25F) decided to move back home roughly two months ago to stay closer to my family. I live in my own house, near the beach and work completely from home as a freelancer.
Two weeks ago my SIL asked me if i can look after her kids(It’s summer break from July to August here). both her and my older brother are busy with work, and can’t look after them (my mom can’t do it either because she own a bakery.) I accepted, i didn’t see any problems in looking after them for a couple of hours in the morning/afternoon. Plus, i like my nephews, they are nice kids. So i said yes.
But everything went down when she pulled out a whole list of thing i should be doing with them. Now, disclaimer, both my SIL and my brother are very religious and I’m not. The list she gave me involved reading/studying the Bible (at least an hour first thing in the morning), let them watch religious contests, and then spend at least two hours copy by hand parts of the Old testament/New Testament.
I found all of that absurd to say the least. I thought i would be taking them out to the park, the beach, watching cartoons together, drawing. I am not comfortable, nor I see myself fitting into that (I’m scared i may mess up something). So i changed my mind and told her, no i can’t do it. Not with the list she gave me. Of course, she got very mad, and called me irresponsible. I asked her if we can do other things, but she is firm on her little list. I didn’t want to dump her last minute, but i genuinely don’t see myself doing all that.
AITAH?
Comments
NTA.
Sister can find a sitting service / school through her church if she wants her kids indoctrinated like this. OH NO! That costs money, doesn’t it???
Enjoy your own life.
NTA but they are gonna make the kids hate religion with that kind of strict routine. It’s not like you’re saying no watching them all together. You’re just saying no to being a teacher on top of that
NTA maybe she could ask someone from her church? Even if she used a childminder, they wouldn’t fulfil these demands either.
Nta, You were asked to watch the kids, not to become a religious teacher. It’s fair to set boundaries, especially when it involves something you’re not comfortable with.
NTA
If you’re willing, offer to watch the kids but with no religion at all. None. If she pushes back, tell her that you aren’t a Vacation Bible School and she should go find one.
LOL wth? Tell her she can pay people to read them the bible.
NTA: beggars can’t be choosers. Plus sis, this is your weird fuckin religion, not mine.
my guess is that she really does need the free help, but she realized the kids would actually have fun on vacation for the first time in their sheltered little lives, and that’s gonna cause problems for her, haaaa.
what a goober. this isn’t going to end the way she thinks it will, either. crazy part about kids is that they’re human beings with minds of their own, not lumps of clay.
Anyway, enjoy your kid-free summer.
When do you plan on getting any work done?
NTA It seems your SIL is indoctrinating her kids, not teaching them. Plus she isn’t giving the kids a chance to have fun and just be kids.
Your SIL wants to “have it all”. Family, career, motherhood.
Funny how shes immersed in her religious beliefs, yet shes going against the teachings that encourage mothers to stay home to raise their children.
Beyond that Mr and Mrs Nose to the Grindstone want FREE daycare services from family members.
Umm that’s a hard NO!
Let them hire an Au Paire or nanny to watch their little cupcakes .
Not your problem .
Your nephews could have had an awesome summer with you, OP. Your SIL sounds like a faux Christian to me. Her expectations are ridiculous. It sounds like she’s the best person to provide her sons with the kind of summer she wants her kids to have. She should probably quit her job and stay home and bore them to death!
Tell her to get one of her Proverbs 31 women friends to babysit. It’s your way or the highway!
Otherwise she will have to take time off and look after her own children, herself!
NTA. If she cares about it this much she should send them to some religious summer camp.
You aren’t religious and expecting you to read the Bible and do that stuff is unfair to you. Frankly, it’s a lot to expect a kids on their summer break.
She asked you to babysit her kids, not give them religious instruction. Nothing worse than someone ask for favors and after you say yes, they add conditions.
You offered to babysit, they wanted a religious teacher. Tell them you are sorry, you are not offering what they want. If they want to accept your offer, they can. If not, they are going to have to find other accomodations.
nTA
If you’re doing it for free do what you want with them. If they want someone to follow their plan tell them to find someone else or do it themselves.
That’s intense bible stuff – doesn’t their local church have a bible studies camp that they can go to and you can do the wrap around ?
NTA. Stop being a door mat, you are 25.
Lady, you can’t hang around with religious people. The more religious they are, the bigger their hypocrisy! NTA
Take them and feed the kids that religion is evil and root of all the problems in the world 😁
NTA
You’ve come to the negotiation in good faith. You’re prepared to spend your time watching her kids, on condition that it’s not stressful, boring or more difficult than it has to be. Your SIL has her conditions, which is fine – but as they are non-negotiable, you are not the right babysitter for her. SIL will have to do what the rest of us have to do with childcare – compromise, pay, or do it yourself.
NTA.
YOUR house, YOUR rules.
If your sister doesn’t like this, she can search for alternative child care elsewhere
So why can’t she lead her religious activities during the time she has her kids? They can do their copy work while she is cooking dinner and then have the Bible study right before bedtime?
NTA – beggars can’t be choosers
She needs your help, I assume you are not loading them up on Red Bull and cotton candy and horror movies, she doesn’t get to dictate your days.
Unless she is paying a professional, the rule is pretty much, keep alive.
NTA
You offered to watch them not be their religious instructor. Tell her you will either watch them and entertain them for whatever day or you won’t watch them outright
Not sure how this makes you irresponsible but um.. okay.
NTA
NTA. Not your kids, not your problem.
I’m a Christian too and if someone was kind enough to mind my children I wouldn’t put all that on them. Honestly, let kids be kids. Making them write scripture by hand is a bit much. I get the Christian only shows and maybe a small Bible story.
You’re not a nanny or the godmother. TBH your SIL is a little nuts if she thinks you can operate a bible camp at the snap of her fingers, while you are working.
LOL. You’re NTA. And your sister is either high or manic. That is, in no world, a reasonable request – to make you the bad guy who enforces a summer-long church-camp-prison on your nephews, instead of doing that shit themselves. They are the parents. If they want to punish their kids with two hours of copying anything every day, that’s on them to enforce it. It’s just beyond. You aren’t even religious. Why would you be doing their religious education? Seriously, something is up with your sister and I’d start to talk to the boys on the issue of coming to you with abuse complaints. Something is very wrong here.
NTA — You agreed to watch the kids, not run a Bible camp following her religious beliefs.
You could offer a compromise: she can send them with a reading or writing assignment connected to the Bible that she scores/evaluates/checks when they get home. All you do is provide a quiet space for them to do it. Also, instead of cartoons, they can watch “religious content” while you do something else.
The rest of your time with them you feed them, take them to the beach and the park, etc. to enjoy the beauty of God’s world.
However, you don’t need to offer even this much of a compromise. You are the one who was going to do them a favor.
Clearly NTA.
i really wish with this level of “religion” you could call cps thats not healthy and borderline abusive, if it was anything other than the Bible people would be pissed like if she wanted them to copy whole sections of the dictionary people would call her a pos but people get a pass cuz ReLIgiOn abuse is abuse forcing young kids to copy shit aka wrists and hands HURT, cant play, or learn about anything else isnt safe thats how kids get trafficked