Going to change some things because I don’t want anyone who’s in this post to find out. I (16F) live with my mom and her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s son (18M). My mom’s boyfriend’s son been living with us for a couple months, me and him never really talk besides the occasional hi’s and crossing paths. A couple weeks ago I go to the bathroom and find some after toco bell typ shit. Up till today I found the same surprise around 3 times, and my mom’s found it around 4 more times. It’s starting to bug me because how does someone only 2 years older than me who has a job and has graduated high school not know how to flush the toilet. It’s gotten to the point where I feel petty and just want to leave a sign saying remember to flush. The only problem is that recently he found him self a girlfriend and I wouldn’t want to embarrass him but it’s gotten to the point where it’s really gross and I’m tired of it. AITAH if I put a sign on the bathroom saying remember to flush the toilet?
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Going to change some things because I don’t want anyone who’s in this post to find out. I (16F) live with my mom and her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s son (18M). My mom’s boyfriend’s son been living with us for a couple months, me and him never really talk besides the occasional hi’s and crossing paths. A couple weeks ago I go to the bathroom and find some after toco bell typ shit. Up till today I found the same surprise around 3 times, and my mom’s found it around 4 more times. It’s starting to bug me because how does someone only 2 years older than me who has a job and has graduated high school not know how to flush the toilet. It’s gotten to the point where I feel petty and just want to leave a sign saying remember to flush. The only problem is that recently he found him self a girlfriend and I wouldn’t want to embarrass him but it’s gotten to the point where it’s really gross and I’m tired of it. AITAH if I put a sign on the bathroom saying remember to flush the toilet?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel that since I barely know him and he has a girlfriend that comes over a lot it would embarrass him, I just wanted to know if it would be the best action to take and if I would be the ass hole if I did.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Embarrass him, maybe he’ll take notice.
NTA. He’s an 18 yo adult man. It’s not just gross, it’s unsanitary and can attract critters and make people sick. Embarrass his ass. He deserves it
ESH, you should say something about it first. Always better to communicate than to be passive aggressive.
NTA
Point it out/mention it when the gf is there. Embarrassment might make the lesson stick.
Good grief. Ask your mom to set her boyfriend on his son’s nasty ass. That’s worse than gross. If Daddy dearest won’t set his offspring to rights, tell Sonny that you’re going to tell his girlfriend if he doesn’t shape up.
85% NTA, I’d just say something to your mom if you don’t want to say something to him.
He should be embarrassed!!! That’s disgusting!!! He is an effin adult, no one but him should be dealing with his shit. If you haven’t pointed it out to mom if you feel uneasy talking to him directly, then this is the right course of action
NTA. I think it’s time for a ‘family’ conference- mom, boyfriend, boyfriend’s kid. Explain the house rules- It’s mellow if it’s yellow, if it’s brown, flush it down. Talk to mom first, since it’s her house or even let her lead the discussion. Good luck.
NTA. My 14 ans 12 year old step sons also do this. So every time I hear the bathroom fan on and the door open, I shout upstairs “Don’t forget to wipe and flush! Don’t want to keep throwing away your favourite pants because of the brown stripes!” Even if they have friends over. They have come crying to me asking me to stop multiple times. I have told them I will stop when I dont have to remind teenagers how to flush a toilet. Its not even like they’ve been doing it their whole lives. Its only started in the last 6 months!
Embarrass the shit out of him. Make him uncomfortable. Nobody wants to walk in on someone else’s mess! Its gross.
he’s embarring himself, but the sign won’t help. NTA.
He’s going to embarrass himself. Let the gf tell him off. “I ain’t wiping your crap up”
Someone needs to tell the AH that he needs to flush the toilet. But if your mom and/or her boyfriend have told him to flush, no, YWNBTA if you put up a sign. Frankly, a little embarrassment might help him remember.
Has anyone talked to him about it yet? Say “hey man, you need to flush the toilet after you shit. I keep going in the bathroom and your shit is in the toilet” before anything else. Being direct is awkward in the moment, but it’s less awkward in the long run (or, have your mom tell him)
Tell mom to talk to the men
NTA.
Tell him once without his gf there and if nothing changes make sure the next time is right in front of her loud and clear. “I found shit in the toilet again and we all know it’s yours because no one else is comfortable doing that. Flush the toilet, ya nasty.”
NTA
The appropriate age to learn to flush a toilet is around 3 or 4.
However, I would warn him before you actually put the sign up.
I would word it something like: “I am not here to clean up your shit. If I find one more pile of shit in the toilet, I am putting a sign up to remind you.”
Embarrass him
Call him out in front of his gf if need be
YWBTAH if you don’t speak to him in private first and tell him this is a real issue, before putting up a sign. Also why hasn’t your mum or his dad sorted this out with him?
I’d be interested in how the gf will react when she starts finding his surprises.. but don’t embarrass him in front of her unless you have tried all other routes (you know.. private conversation, help from the parents, and you can try texting him each time with a picture, saying “I like to present well to everyone visiting me (the next one in may be your gf!), please flush me! Regards, the toilet”)
Embarrass the absolute fuck out him! His girlfriend needs to know he does this shit! He’s likely on his best behavior around her since the relationship is new, and will start doing this later in the relationship.
If anyone else in the house doesn’t like it; they should talk to him about flushing after he goes. How disgusting!!