I (26m) & gf (26f) are on vacation in Florida with OUR child (6m) for the fourth. We went to a theme park that had alcohol. I went to the restroom & left them to keep riding rides. By the time I came back she was arguing with another family of 3. So of course I asked what was going on, basically their kids ACCIDENTALLY kicked over her drink. They were super apologetic (I kinda felt bad for them) maybe she had too much alcohol because she kept trying to fight them. I tried to calm the situation even told her I’ll buy a new 1 but Eventually the security & police were came to kick us out so she tried to argue & fight them. When we made it to the car she got back out to argue with the police more but they did let us leave when she was done with her rant. When we was leaving she kept asking me to pull over so she can smoke so I did. When we pulled over she started punching me & telling me & my son to get out so we did & caught a uber to hotel. I guess she didn’t expect us to really leave so when she realized we left she went inside the place I parked outside of & started messing up their stuff. They obviously called the police to get her out of their establishment. I called & they said she was sent to a hospital. AITA if I just take my son & get on our flight in the morning without her?
AITAH if I leave my gf on vacation
r/AITAH
Comments
NTA obviously. If you cannot even refrain from drinking alcohol when in a theme park with a 3 year old in your care, you have a serious alcohol problem. She assaulted you. Leave but consult a lawyer before doing so, to make sure you cannot be accused of parental abduction.
Nope not at all, she sounds like a fucking hand full😂get on that flight
NTA bro you already know the answer, time to go, she needs to learn the consequences of her actions
You did the right thing for your kid a child shouldn’t have to see that
NTA do it, but be prepared to be single because when she gets back, there will be hell to pay.
File for custody. She got black out drunk while in control of your son. She has a drinking problem. I would tell her, “Your son or alcohol because none of this was ok.
Don’t compound the gf being the AH by you leaving her; what do you think would happen when she returns home? I’m also questioning why a mother would drink around a newborn?
There are some serious issues her that have not been mentioned but not asking you to go into further detail. What you should do is get help for the gf so she can be a better mother and the two of you also need to examine your relationship for the sake of your little one.
she got violent and put you and your son in a scary situation. your priority is your child’s safety take him and go home. you can deal with everything else after, but right now, getting him out of that chaos is the right move.
Their child is 6 months old. You’re nta. She needs to grow up and be more responsible than what she was.
Hold up… you caught an uber but she tore up the place you parked in front of?
She also hit you? If press charges for domestic violence as well. Some pending jail time and loss of custody of her baby should be enough to clue her in.
Something is seriously wrong with her and what you described seems like psychosis.
She may be dealing with depression and other things, and needs help, which is why she’s in hospital not jail.
So you’ve been with your bm for over 6 years, why haven’t you contacted the hospital? Given the medical emergency – you should be able to change your flights.
Did you think that drink that got knocked over could have been spiked? Something most definitely happened and she’s having a mental health crisis! What if the roles were reversed – would she abandon you during a mental or physical health crisis while you were on vacation and get on a plane?!
Abandoning her and leaving the mother of your child – alone in a hospital would be beyond assholery.
DAFUQ?????
YWBTAH
ETA: looking at your post history you are an abject mofo who’s also a huge hypocrite
Nope. She’s abusive and has problems with alcohol. Get out of the relationship.
Is this ‘normal’ behaviour for her, or out of character? Reason I ask – a lot of comments instantly jumping to DV, divorce, full custody etc – but if it’s out of character for her then have you considered if she’s having some kind of mental health crisis?
I.e. are there any indications that she could in any way be suffering from PPD? Never experienced it personally but apparently it can reaallllyyyy mess some women up – as in what you’ve described but full blown psychosis and mania.
Worth considering it before just chalking it up to her being a psycho…
Your wife may need your presence at this time. Something is going on inside her, and she needs you. Leaving is not responsible behavior.
NTA. Yes, leave. When you get home, though, you have to lawyer. She is going to be pissed and might be accusing you of kidnapping her child. You need to document everything. CYA time starts now. Remember you are protecting yourself and the child. If this were reversed, we’d be telling the woman to run and not to look back.
NTA at all, your new obligation is to protect your baby, even from her since she wants to act like a drunk lunatic with your baby around. Not cool, I hope you file for custody and keep the baby safe.
You’d only be the AH if you don’t leave. I used to work with teens in a chemical dependency hospital and I can’t tell you how many kids told me that their parents fought all of the time, but stayed together because of them. They hated them for that. Protect your son. Protect yourself. Leave sans ex-girlfriend.
NTA. Take your son, get on that flight, go home, and file for full custody of your child. She’s an out of control angry person, likely an alcoholic. She’s likely a terrible mother and you need to protect your son.
So shes verbally and physically abusive and it sounds like alcohol is a problem. Go home, pack your stuff and leave with your child. She can have custody when shes proven to be a safe adult.
NTA get an attorney, get a restraining order
Nope NTA
Not only was she drunk whilst in charge of your kid at a theme park but was aggressive and confrontational to others – I’d never trust her alone with my small child again.
The escalation to violence is your big neon sign to get yourself and your kid out of this situation.
Just because she’s female doesn’t stop her being an abusive unsafe partner for you
Oof. You need to walk away from that and get your son somewhere stable. Is this new behavior? If so I would worry about a medical issue. If not: what took you so long? (and I mean that in love)
Nope. Do it and leave without her
Getting drunk while in the care of her child? Nah, not cool
She’s got issues and one of you needs to parent right or this kids future is screwed
NTAH
NTA . For goodness sake : get that baby to a safe place away from her
Wow … just WOW! I cant believe a mother would get so shitfaced while taking her 6yo to Disneyland.
I wouldn’t trust her alone with your son for one second after this. Is she a drunk? I can’t imagine anyone not addicted thinking it was ok to drink with their child.
I’m also wondering WTF you were thinking leaving your child with his drunk AF mother to go on rides.
ESH in my opinion. Your poor kid doesn’t stand a chance.
Go home without her, your kid doesn’t need more stress and neither do you. She made her bed, let her be strapped to it. NTA
Document everything and leave
If she was taken to hospital not arrested, I feel like a professional has recognised she is having some kind of mental health episode. This is not to say her actions were right, but she may not have been fully in control of them at the time. Personally I would go see her in hospital. She whether she has calmed down. If she is suffering from some kind of mental health episode, I can say from experience it is scary and lonely being sectioned in hospital. Talk to the nurses and ask them to update you about her condition if you decide not to stay.
NTA. She definitely is.
If this is normal behavior for her, please get your son far away from her until she gets help for her issues.
Staying with her will only cause more damage to your son.
You say maybe she had too much alcohol? If she was drunk like this and assaulted you with your son present, yes get on the flight and file for divorce, get a restraining order. Call a lawyer so you have good advice. Get a copy of any police report, medical intake as this will help you for legal restraining order and in custody battle for the child.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
47f here. Time to call it off. In order to go for primary custody you need to take your son with you and have him in your care. As his father you are just as entitled to custody. You have the right to take him.
The reason why women get custody the majority of the time is because 1. Dad usually leaves the kids with her when they split. 2. She’s doing the majority of caring.
So if you take him and are doing all the feeding, caring, doctors appointments etc you much more likely to get viewed favourably.
I’d start with seeing about her getting charged with child endangerment. See if you can get camera footage from where you at with her drunk and trying to fight. If the hotel can write a letter regarding her behaviour and being kicked out.
She absolutely endangered your child by getting drunk enough she started picking fights with bystanders and law enforcement. What if she drink drives with him in the car. Or leaves him in a hot car?
Listen it’s your life and you need to do what’s best for your kid but she is having a mental health crisis and yes alcohol can make that a lot worse/trigger it to begin with but no that isn’t an excuse. If she was just being a bitch they’d have arrested her, they sent her to the psych ward instead for a reason. None of that makes it ok what she did.
Personally I’d be there when she’s released and see what she has to say. Then if she’s embarrassed and apologetic… the next step is a commitment to getting medicated and staying away from alcohol (or drugs – weed can do this too with some disorders.)
I’ve been there and it’s really just about how much you want to try. She could get better if she wants to but this isn’t normal behavior and sounds like a psychotic episode. If she can take the appropriate steps to get better, you might want to be there for her. But NO that is never an excuse.
In my case, my partner did actually get better and it was genuinely just a “nobody told me I have a mental disorder until I needed to be arrested.” Meds worked.
What you didn’t let us know is whether she has ever behaved like this before. If she never has, then you should stay and support her in the hospital. But if this is a regular thing with her, then don’t just leave her on vacation, leave her period before she gets your child hurt and go for full custody of your child. Has she shown any behavioral changes since childbirth? Some women have some rough post-partum depression and need help and support for this.
She needs help. And your son would have refer to have a sober mom. You can make this effort for them both.
> she started punching me & telling me & my son to get out so we did & caught a uber to hotel
> she went inside the place I parked outside of
How can you take an Uber AND part the car yourself? Fake post?
NTAH – I am shocked that the kid saw all this! You need to protect the child and leave.
She’s got to go bruh! Do what’s best for you and the kid.
What rides would allow a 6 month old child on them? They are barely sitting up and would not go well in acceleration and deceleration situations. Did you mean 6 years?
NTA. Be done with her. Get a police report and file for full custody. She has some issues. I would see if your flight could leave earlier than tomorrow. If not, spend today getting all the evidence you can.
The fuck did I just read. Has she always been like this?
NTA
Your son is your first priority
Maybe? How long were you gone? Why do you get to go off separately to have fun at the amusement park? Why weren’t you taking your son on rides with you? Were you supposed to be taking turns going on big rides that your son couldn’t go on? Was it arranged for you to go ride more rides or did you go to the restroom and then duck off to have fun for hours while she was left behind to take care of your kid? If you were only gone for a short period, then was she drunk already when you left her in charge of your son or did she get in this condition just while you were away? If this was a short time and unusual behavior, why didn’t you call medical services as soon as you realized it? The heat, being drugged, or other factors could have contributed to an extreme intoxication beyond what she consumed. She could have also been pissed about being left alone in a park, in charge of your child by herself and drank more than intended. Obviously, there are way more questions here that could be determining factors on whether YWBTA. Sounds like there may be some maturity issues on both sides of this situation and the poor kid is caught up in it. Get the mother of your child help, get her tested for drugs that may have been put in her drink, get her home, and then get your whole family into the counseling you need to be responsible parents, regardless of whether you stay together.
Collect as much written proof and any and all recordings of what happened. Then leave.
You’re a man so you can absorb the damage from her punches (though you shouldn’t have to live with that at all) however your son cannot absorb that damage, and all it takes is you not being present for her to snap and attack him next. Fathers Protocol 1: Protect the Child