I (29f) and my husband (31m) were visiting his family in another state for a cousin’s wedding. We’ve been married 3 years, no kids yet. My husband likes to drink, and at the reception he definitely overdid it, taking shots with his cousins and ignoring the fact I asked him to slow down because we had to drive back to our Airbnb.
Long story short, he ended up tripping over the curb outside the venue while we were waiting for our Uber and cut his forehead pretty badly. He was super drunk, belligerent, cussing at the paramedics and refusing stitches. At the hospital, he kept yelling at nurses and trying to take off his IV, so security had to come in. They eventually sedated him so they could clean him up.
At that point it was already 2 AM, and I was exhausted, embarrassed, and honestly mad. I asked the nurse if I could leave since they were admitting him overnight for observation and she said yes. I called an Uber, went back to the Airbnb, showered, and went to bed. His mom and sister started blowing up my phone around 7 AM calling me heartless for leaving him alone, and saying I should’ve stayed in case something happened.
He’s fine now, just has a bandage on his forehead and a big hangover, but everyone’s treating me like the villain.
AITAH for leaving him there overnight instead of staying with him in the hospital?
Comments
NTA, sounds like he FAFO🤷♀️
How did they find out, did he call them playing the victim? NTA.
What did they expect you to do, stay there in the bed with him? They’re being ridiculous. Ignore them NTA
NTA
I totally get, why you left. But please for the love of God, Allah, Jahwe, Buddha, the flying spaghetti-monster, Ron Hubbard and that elephant-thing Hindus worship, tell me: why did you go back the next day?
Leave him. Leave him immediately. Not tomorrow. Now.
Don’t answer his phone calls. Don’t answer calls of his enabling and manipulating family.
Please get the paperwork from the hospital for the divorce and then please get some professional help, to sort all this out.
nTA. Let them judge you’re not his babysitter. You made sure he was safe and that’s more than enough.
If he had a life or death situation then YTA, but this wasn’t the case….so NTA. He got a boo boo on his forehead from getting too drunk, then acting like an ass when medical help was being provided to the point they needed to call security and sedate him. I’m sure the doctor assured you before you left that he wasn’t in any serious situation before you left. I’m sure you weren’t expecting to spend your night at the Airbnb alone either, so yeah NTA….sounds like he was.
His is an adult and in the care of medical professionals.
I think what you did was reasonable.
His family obviously has a different precedent for such things, but how were you to know.
You’re NTA, i notice a lot of people on reddit go straight to divorce over stuff like this. Hopefully he learned his lesson, and won’t let this happen again. You have every right to be angry. He was at the hospital, if anything bad happened they would have called you. That’s probably the safest place to have left him. Don’t let him make you feel like the victim..you went with him, made sure he was ok and left to get rest.
Being 31 and this irresponsible is incredible
NTA. I think probably most women would go home at that point. I might also be planning a conversation about alcohol
I was about to be judgy but after reading what an ass he was, you are not the A-hole here. He most certainly is. Maybe his mother and sister should have stayed with him.
NTA – I did something similar (minus the drunk jackassery) at 1am once. My wife made sure I was admitted fine and then drove home. I took an Uber home when they let me out a few hours later.
I’m glad she went and got some sleep. She would not have been able to do anything helpful once I was admitted and was helpful when I returned.
No. You shouldn’t have to babysit the self-indulgent man-baby.
People can drink too much without turning into assholes.
If he can’t, he should forgo overindulging in the future – you’re helping him figure out what he should’ve realized himself by now.
NTA.
It’s not as if he was in any condition to sit there and chat to anyone: Not only was he steaming drunk, he’d been sedated.
NTA and, if they are so concerned, perhaps they can look after the man baby next time he does something dumb!
NTA. There’s nothing you can do while he’s sedated and sleeping off his hangover 🤷🏽♀️ I’d be embarrassed and pissed too, and he was fine, it’s not like you left him in ICU or something. The only reason they had to keep him was because of his own stupidity and drunkenness, he wouldn’t have had to be sedated and kept if he wasn’t acting belligerent. He’s lucky they didn’t call the police on them!
Is his family normally this rude to you?
NTA. He’s 31 with a boo-boo.
NTA but he sounds like a mess. And his family is ass. I’d dump him and find a sober man to date.
Absolutely not, he needs to take responsibility for his actions. If there’s a next time, mom and sister can stay overnight with him at the hospital. NTA.
NTA. Your husband was TAH. Somebody needed to be functional and well rested enough to drive in the morning and it certainly wasn’t going to be him. There’s no place to sleep in the hospital, so you would have sat in a hard chair all night and been an absolute wreck the rest of the day. What did his relatives think might happen to him that all the doctors and nurses in a hospital couldn’t handle? Did they think maybe he’d go into cardiac arrest and you’d need to be there to tell them to save him? Good grief. Your husband sounds like either a binge drinker or a functioning alcoholic, and I suspect there are certainly some other problem drinkers in his enabling family members. Just tell them you had get some sleep if you were going to drive and take care of your concussed husband the next day.
He needed to show down because you all needed to drive back to your airbnb, but you took an Uber. Neat story.
I’m sure you’ll claim you left the car and called ab Uber or something also, but I’m not buying it.
Anway, in a situation like that, it’s probably not a big deal if a spouse leaves the other overnight. However, I bet your husband would stay by your side because he’s your spouse and not your parent trying to punish you for disobeying
Nta fuck that guy
NTA.
Your husband might be an alcoholic. You said he likes to drink. He got so drunk at a wedding that he fell down, was verbally abusive to paramedics, and hospital staff, to the point they had to sedate him.
How was he treating you during all this? Did he save his vitriol for strangers, or did the good ole wife receive some of his temper, too?
Tell your in-laws your husband is a mean drunk, who was so vicious to those trying to help him in the hospital that security had to hold him while they sedated him. So, yep, you went home so he could sleep it off, rather than sit there and keep taking it. Ask them if they’re ready to help you talk him into rehab, because he has a problem.
NTA. However, why are you putting up with this BS? He’s 31 years old. He should know his drinking limit. And he sounds like a real peach when he gets drunk.
Unless he gets control of his drinking, you will be spending more time mad, embarrassed, and exhausted.
In this case, I would’ve videoed him as much as possible. I find that people hate to see themselves like that and it’s an eye opener. If you did not then, if anything happens in the future, then make sure that you have as much of it on film. If he can’t get it on film, at least get the audio. We did that to my brother.
NTA- he was in safe hands and not sure why you’d want to sit there looking at him all night while he was peacefully sedated.
NO you’re NOT the AH. Just don’t even discuss it with his mom and sister. Save that argument cuz you won’t win. But guess what!!! It’s none of their business. Just smile at them when you see em.
I wouldn’t have even bothered going to the hospital with him in the first place. The incident was outside of the reception, his mommy was welcome to stay up all night watching the idiot wasn’t she? NTA
They would’ve preferred you spend the entire night in a chair? If the room even had one! At least you know who will do that next time.
NTA
NTA
Hahaha 😂 say WHAT? You have to be kidding me… you had every right to do what you did, tell his mom and sister that if they want to stay with their drunk and belligerent Son/Brother they are MORE than welcome!! But you have neither the time nor patience to put up with that. He was in the hospital under medical supervision and he is not a child… hahaha 😂
If this is a pattern of behavior(getting drunk to the point of being a problem) it might be time for a come to jeezus meeting.
He’s in the safest place he could possibly be and most hospitals kick you out once visiting hours are over. Which they definitely are at 2am. You made the right call. What his mom and sister expect you to do in this situation is a mystery to me. It’s not as if you’re going to be taking vitals every hour while trying to find sleep in an uncomfortable hospital chair.
I guess the severity of this situation isn’t bad enough to warrant that level of attention, but i would be mad at my partner for leaving me in a hospital… when i play the scenario in my mind it does feel kinda heartless… its actually making me mad at my boyfriend
31 is way too old to be behaving like a drunk teenager. I would have left him there too, while feeling very ashamed that man was the man i chose to be my husband.
I would only let him shame me like that once.