My (late 20’s) little sister (early 20’s) has a couple kids but she and her husband work full time so she sometimes needs childcare. I agreed to watch her kids on the weekends under the impression that I’d be getting paid so that I could get to her place without help (I am disabled and don’t drive, I rely totally on my family if I don’t have money for Uber). I’ve been really lucky that my family CAN help but I feel guilty that they feel obligated to me and I have no way to pay them back. Unfortunately my sister and her husband don’t have the funds for that, but her MIL lives with them, works fulltime, and doesn’t contribute ANY money into the house. Would it be an asshole move to pressure my sister and bil to tell her she needs to start paying rent or a bill so that they can 1. afford to live and 2. afford to pay me?
Edit: decided I’m not going to say anything and just keep trying to be there as much as I can cause it’s easier than causing drama. Thanks for the input ya’ll.
Comments
NTA. If her MIL is living rent free and not helping, that’s kinda unfair when ur literally covering childcare. It makes sense she should pitch in so u can get paid
NTA. I understand that you are trying to solve the problem, but you can let them know that you don’t have the money for an Uber to get to their house to watch the kids. They need to deal with the situation of the MIL, and you may not have all the facts and circumstances around the MIL, and you will come off as being nosy, pushy or ill informed. Better to let them work that out on their own.
What MIL contributes to their house is none of your business. Do you even know the context for that?
Why did you accept to take on a job and NOT discuss payment, if you clearly wanted to be get paid?
Have a discussion about payment if you want but leave MIL out of it for now.
YTA its really not your business you don’t know everything that happens behind closed doors if you cant watch over your nieces and nephews then dont you know your sister needs the help too but you’re choosing to be an asshole about it
NTA. If MIL works full time and pays nothing, that’s wild. ur literally helping them keep things running, she should def pitch in so they can pay u
you are trying to financially strong-arm your sister and her husband by forcing them to confront their own mother about money, when they already told you they don’t have the funds to pay you, all while admitting your family already helps you out.
yta
NTA but leave the MIL out of it. It has nothing to do with her. Tell your sister you want to be paid and if she wants to ask MIL to be the one that contributes to your payments, that’s her choice. The MIL is irrelevant.
NTA Youre setting a fair boundary. You agreed under the impression you’d be compensated, and it’s not unreasonable to point out that someone in the household could contribute so you’re not left relying on others just to get there. That’s not meddling, you’re simply advocating for yourself.
NTA. boundaries are important. u cant keep babysitting for free, especially if ur disabled and rely on family to get there
NTA seems really presumptuous of them to expect you to PAY to watch THEIR kids? Definitely ask. You don’t have to be an AH about it when you ask, but absolutely worth asking.
That isn’t your place to do that. Their dynamic works for them, but not for you. That is the key word, not for you. It may be time to tell her I just can’t keep asking people for money to get there. You will either need to pay my UBER and arrange for pick up or drive me to and from your home. Otherwise, I just can’t keep watching the kids.
YTA. It’s literally none of your business how your sister handles her MIL living there. The only thing you can control is just not babysitting anymore if they’re not paying you. Take issue with what you rightfully can, and leave everything else alone.
Keep your mouth shut about the MIL. That’s a very wise choice as it’s none of your business. However tell them you cannot babysit unless they provide transportation. Do not pay for an Uber yourself and do not feel bad asking them for rides at other times when you are providing free child care. Call it payment for services provided.
NTA but the MIL conversation and you getting paid need to be very separate conversations. The MIL should contribute to their household but if you bring it up in one big discussion, it will come off as you asking the MIL to pay you
I think it is bizzare that asking a grown adult to pitch into the bills of home they are living in is apparently taboo now…
NTA Op
No Free Rides for adults
it’s not for you to talk about the MIL.
You can ask to be paid whatever amount you want, but it’s rude for you to suggest how they raise that money.
Their arrangement with her MIL is not your business.
so, YTA