i have an ex who cheated on me alot but i still cared for him as a person (not romantically). i was shocked upon finding out his new partner is going to take revenge- somewhat on my behalf- mostly for her own entertainment.
i went through a huge emotional turmoil with my ex (and many people knew of the cheating) that led me to numerous suicide attempts, so you can only imagine how heartbroken i was. despite all of this, i still care for my ex as a friend/person (again no feelings) enough that i atleast want him to be happy and succeed as long as he redeems himself
his new girlfriend seems to be swooning over imaginations of him injured, dying, ruining his life, making him her obedient slave (other extremely scary NOT kinky btw scenarios) you name it. she says she will make it happen and it’s for her own entertainment and somewhat karma for what he did to me. she get’s a thrill off it.
i feel like anyone in my situation would say “YEAH fuck that guy (my ex)” but i’m not sure what to do.
besides all of this, there is a lot of other very psychotic imaginations she has shared, alongside numerous mental health issues + BPD (no shaming) + violent tendencies
i really did want my ex to learn a lesson for when he cheated on me but i’m not sure if this is what i meant by it.
AITAH if i just ignore it and he ends up losing his life or becoming mentally unwell from this relationship that i could have warned him of? i don’t think i could shake the guilt off me if something horrible happened.
not sure if this will help with context but we are in our mid 20s
Comments
NTA.
He cheated on you and fully deserve this, let him know how to be oppressed in your relationship.
oh to be a teenager again
wtf…if he doesn’t already know please help him. you will regret not at least trying to help him.
Nah, you’re not the asshole here. The way I see it, you’re caught in a situation where someone else is making threats and trying to drag you into it emotionally by saying it’s “revenge on your behalf.” That’s not on you. You’re not obligated to save your ex, but if you stay totally silent and something happens, you’ll probably carry guilt even though it wasn’t your fault. Giving him a short warning (without getting too involved) clears your conscience and sets the boundary: you cared enough to let him know, but his choices are on him.
You’re friends with this woman why?
NTA-what happens in their relationship has nothing to do with you. Best to stay out of it. Block all of these people and don’t think of them again.
Your ex hurt you by cheating, but what his new girlfriend is saying isn’t just “karma” it’s abusive, violent, and unsafe.
Your ex put you through so much that you were suicidal, but you still care for him as a person.
Girl sort yourself out. You’re a mess and your priorities are all wrong. Stay in your own lane, you’ve got enough problems
Just out of interest…are you over the age of 15? Cause this sounds like it was written by a teenager…
Personally if it were me, if shes threatening to like murder this guy you need to just forward those messages to your police dept and then block and move on.
is it safe to tell your ex boyfriend? all of you seem to be mentally unstable in this situation but you seem to be the only one who isn’t at risk of hurting anybody. your ex and his girlfriend show very disturbing behaviour his girlfriend more so. my question is, will she go after you for telling him? will she lie to him and pressure him into telling her where she can possibly find you? in my opinion, i think you should let these people go and truly move on with your life.
NTA, even though he may not deserve your sympathy (IMO) I can tell you’re a very kind and empathetic person. From one empath to another, you’ll probably feel guilty if you don’t tell him at least something. Make it clear, though, you’re warning him not because you care about him like that but because you still see him as someone you want to help despite what he’s put you through. After that, wash your hands of them both. On the other hand if you don’t tell him, you still wouldn’t be an asshole. Simply because you owe him nothing now, he decided to get with this woman, not you. And her “taking revenge on your behalf.” Is just her way of justification for her actions and a way to drag you down to her level. They aren’t your responsibility and even if you did warn him, who’s to say if he’ll even listen ? My point is OP, no matter what you do in this situation, you’re NTA, just an innocent bystander in someone else’s drama.
Get any information you know and send it to his parents anonymously. They can decide how to handle it and you’ve done what you needed to make them aware.