My parents (61M & 67F) went away on holiday and it was agreed that I would drop them off and potentially pick them up although this was to be confirmed due to lack of space in my car.
I have a 5 yr old child and am a single parent. My weekends are usually very busy with rigid schedules – my parents know this. My son had football this morning from 10:20-11:00 and my mum said that she would let me know when I should start making my way to collect them from Heathrow airport to minimise pick-up charges.
It was a tight schedule this morning as I also had to walk the dogs before football, take kid to football and restock the house with essential groceries plus some extra for a nice dinner that I had planned for my parents upon their return and unpack my very small car to make space for their luggage.
So my mum calls me at 12:00 to say they’ve just landed and then 25 mins later lets me know they’re ready to be collected. I had just finished the food shop and I just had to unpack it then I was going to collect them. This would mean my parents would have to wait 35 mins for me to collect them. I let them know as much.
My parents turned around and yelled saying don’t bother and how they didn’t care about the food shopping, and that I was unkind and unhelpful (I drove them an hour to Gatwick for their departure flight). They just expected me to be there right away. So I responded by letting them know I was on my way as soon as I had put all the refrigerated items away. They let me know this wasn’t good enough. So I told them, I drove you to Gatwick, did a few chores for them whilst they were away that were a big expense time and money-wise that they’ve yet to pay me back for and that they can get a taxi home. I then hung up as I found their attitude to be completely disrespectful.
They called me back right away doubling-down that I’m an AH so I repeated “get a taxi”. An hour later my dad calls me chewing me ear off saying “aren’t you collecting us then? When are you getting here”. I told him what I told my mum, get a taxi. He said that they have ordered one but that it’s taking awhile. I said “it will. If you had been nice you would be home already.” Then I hung up on him.
They got home 2 hours later than they would’ve liked due to me refusing to collect them but I want them to know that they can’t treat me like shit and expect me to go out of my way for them. They have stonewalled me since.
In comparison, they refused to drive 10 mins to the train station to pick me up when I came back from Italy with an ear infection so had to get a taxi home. Whilst the distance home is considerably shorter, they refused because they didn’t feel like it not because they couldn’t.
I may have been the AH by telling them to get a taxi and hanging up but I feel that I need to get an outside perspective as I feel justified in my decision based on principle of respect.
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My parents (61M & 67F) went away on holiday and it was agreed that I would drop them off and potentially pick them up although this was to be confirmed due to lack of space in my car.
I have a 5 yr old child and am a single parent. My weekends are usually very busy with rigid schedules – my parents know this. My son had football this morning from 10:20-11:00 and my mum said that she would let me know when I should start making my way to collect them from Heathrow airport to minimise pick-up charges.
It was a tight schedule this morning as I also had to walk the dogs before football, take kid to football and restock the house with essential groceries plus some extra for a nice dinner that I had planned for my parents upon their return and unpack my very small car to make space for their luggage.
So my mum calls me at 12:00 to say they’ve just landed and then 25 mins later lets me know they’re ready to be collected. I had just finished the food shop and I just had to unpack it then I was going to collect them. This would mean my parents would have to wait 35 mins for me to collect them. I let them know as much.
My parents turned around and yelled saying don’t bother and how they didn’t care about the food shopping, and that I was unkind and unhelpful (I drove them an hour to Gatwick for their departure flight). They just expected me to be there right away. So I responded by letting them know I was on my way as soon as I had put all the refrigerated items away. They let me know this wasn’t good enough. So I told them, I drove you to Gatwick, did a few chores for them whilst they were away that were a big expense time and money-wise that they’ve yet to pay me back for and that they can get a taxi home. I then hung up as I found their attitude to be completely disrespectful.
They called me back right away doubling-down that I’m an AH so I repeated “get a taxi”. An hour later my dad calls me chewing me ear off saying “aren’t you collecting us then? When are you getting here”. I told him what I told my mum, get a taxi. He said that they have ordered one but that it’s taking awhile. I said “it will. If you had been nice you would be home already.” Then I hung up on him.
They got home 2 hours later than they would’ve liked due to me refusing to collect them but I want them to know that they can’t treat me like shit and expect me to go out of my way for them. They have stonewalled me since.
In comparison, they refused to drive 10 mins to the train station to pick me up when I came back from Italy with an ear infection so had to get a taxi home. Whilst the distance home is considerably shorter, they refused because they didn’t feel like it not because they couldn’t.
I may have been the AH by telling them to get a taxi and hanging up but I feel that I need to get an outside perspective as I feel justified in my decision based on principle of respect.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action that I did that needs judging was I stranded my parents at the airport. I think this action might make me the AH as the had no backup transport arranged and this delayed their journey home by 2 hours.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Yes
NTA hey are unkind and rude then expect favours.
You offered to pick them up; they just didn’t like the conditions (35 minute wait). If they had been as rude and nasty to the taxi driver as they were to you they’d still be sitting at the airport. NTA.
NTA. They played stupid games and won stupid prizes. If my parents are kind enough to pick me up at the airport I would be very grateful even though I had to wait. If they told me to expect a long waiting time, I would just take the taxi without bothering them. A family pick up is a privilege, not a responsibility. Your parents are extremely entitled.
ESH and i see a strong family resemblance
NTA. They said “don’t bother” so you didn’t.
NTA. Life lesson: don’t be rude to someone going out of their way to do you a favor.
Didnt anyone know what flight they would be on, so you’d know when to expect their arrival at the airport? Planes do follow a pre-set schedule, usually
ETA
NTA. They can go play “Rules for thee but not for me!” with someone else.
NTA. The punishment certainly fits the crime in this instance. Refusing to pick them up when they’ve been inconsiderate regarding your life’s requirements is appropriate. Respect is a two-way street.
NTA- They were upset because you needed to put away the groceries you purchased for a dinner FOR THEM and that wasn’t good enough.
NTA
NTA. I also would not have fetched them.
You hould have shopped after you picked them up
Lmao I read till “35min wait” and in my books (not anywhere near Heathrow or Gatwick but I think logic and courtesy is universal)
… in my books 35mins wait in the daytime (you said 12?) at an international airport is called, go get a seat, a pastry, and a cuppa. Like ofc it will be pricier than the town/suburb shops and they may not have as attractive promos or varieties but I would 100% do it for courtesy of being picked up. And you don’t eat at airport prices every day anyway. Geesh.
(And yes if you don’t want to wait to be picked up in 35mins over a coffee and cake, call a cab. And usually cabs are pricey. And tend to have airport surcharge whatnot — but that’s the alternative if you dw to wait to be picked amirite)
nta they suck. Its 35mins, you didn’t say no, and it’s not 3h. I maintain all they needed was to chill somewhere for a bit!
You’re NTA.
>I stranded my parents at the airport.
They weren’t stranded. They had options. First option, wait for you without being assholes. Second option, get a cab.
NTA. Yelling at your ride means you don’t get a ride.
NTA – why are they so anti-taxi and anti-Uber? It’s odd that they kept arguing for an hour plus rather than just taking a taxi home
NTA. I’ve waited longer than 35 minutes for an Uber. If someone’s picking me up at the airport, I wait for them because they’re the ones doing the favor.
Lol. They told you not to bother, you took them at their word and moved on with your day. You don’t have to say any more than that, or justify your decision. You don’t have the time nor the energy to spend getting yanked around.
They got what they asked for. I’m not sure what your mother was going on about, sounds like there’s more going on there than you making them wait 35 minutes.
NTA, but I bet they regretted being so rude to you. Cabs from Heathrow are insanely expensive!
Could you not have shopped yesterday? Or walked the dog when you got home?
NTA. How can they be useless when you really need them, and then treat you like crap when they are the ones who need you and you actually want to help. Enjoy the stonewall.
ESH… You knew about what time they would be landing. You know about how long it takes to get luggage. It’s understandable that they would be eager to get home. Knowing that you would have a tight schedule, why would you choose to do your grocery shopping during that window of time? Your parents shouldn’t have been rude but they were right to feel let down and disappointed.
NTA – well done for standing up for yourself and not wasting your precious time on people who don’t appreciate what you do for them.
NTA. At least you are now 100% sure that they have zero respect for you. I’m sorry.
This isn’t a new pist. Pretty sure saw this exact one a few months ago
They owe you an apology!
NTA
Your folks over-stepped.
You did them a favor and were willing to do more, just not be their servant.
No. Give an inch and they’ve taken the proverbial mile. Shame that a taxi did turn up for them at all.
Surely no one in this day and age who is picking up from the airport doesn’t check the live flight times.
The parents are horrible, but not convinced on OPs approach at all, the groceries timing when you know you’ve a commitment? Soft ESH
Just a side issue…….as you are a single parent, do your parents help you out financially or with childcare?
They were at HEATHROW. It’s the easiest airport to get into town from, maybe apart from City Airport.
Did they even need that taxi? Or was it just the fact they didn’t want to mix with the plebs on the tube?
NTA
I wouldn’t have provided extra info about putting stuff away. I show up when I show up. You’re NTA, but if your parents are like that, additional info will never be helpful.
NTA. If you ask something of somebody and they’re nice enough to do it, after you weren’t in the same situation, you don’t have any grounds to complain about how much time they take to do it.
NTA
No reason to go out of your way for people who wouldn’t do the same for you, doesn’t matter if they’re family, don’t let them take advantage of you.
Typical British parents. Give me respect, while they don’t respect you. I could go on. NTA and sympathy cause Im used to it lol