AITH for breaking up with my gf because she couldn’t take the fact that I’m bi

r/

So a few months back I came out to my gf of 1 year that I’m bisexual, I’ve struggled with it for a few years and I was in denial and she kept pushing me to say it out even if I was unsure myself,

She had a mental breakdown and snapped at me sometimes saying “I’m not gay like you” during arguments.

She kept blaming me for being gay and how it ruined everything in her life, i assured her saying even if I was gay it doesn’t matter because I loved her.

But she persistently kept on snapping and I broke up with her, and she says “I didn’t break up with u even after u said u were gay”
I feel bad, AITA?

Comments

  1. MajesticJabroni Avatar

    Definitely NTA. She most certainly is.

  2. t-mckeldin Avatar

    Why are you still with this awful person?

  3. Impossible_Nebula_33 Avatar

    You’re bisexual not gay if she can’t understand that simple distinction and having meltdowns after pushing you to come out then you’re right to break up with her. Block her she seems emotionally unstable and biphobic too.

    I think what people seem to think with bisexual men is that they think because you may be attracted to a gay man amongst other types of men then you must be gay yourself if that makes sense? It’s similar to what bisexual women get when we are told because we are attracted to straight men then us being attracted to women as well isn’t taken seriously.

    Being bisexual can be rough. Speak to some LGBTQ groups or forums you will find support. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

  4. _FallenFlower_ Avatar

    NTA, you’re not even gay, you’re bi, which means you still have attraction for girls, you just also like guys. It’s not like you didn’t like her anymore. Ahe sounds homophobic to say the least and you dodged a bullet

  5. burndmymouth Avatar

    Better off, if she can’t accept you now, she won’t later.

  6. AjTheJuiceMan Avatar

    NTA. She was holding the fact she didnt dump you over your head. That’s not love, thats manipulation.

  7. era_hickle Avatar

    nta. her saying “i didnt break up with u” is just her trying to guilt you. like she was doing you some huge favor by staying. you dodged a bullet.

  8. Significant-Tip-1246 Avatar

    Why would you even need to ask if you’re the asshole in this situation?

    Don’t tolerate disrespect.

  9. No_Cheetah_4832 Avatar

    NTA. She seems to be “a little bit” homophobic.

  10. Portia_the_Queen51 Avatar

    NTA. She’s homophobic and that’s NEVER ok. Good job on breaking up with her!

  11. Nordic_Papaya Avatar

    NTA. I understand why your gf would be upset to waste a year on someone who turned out to be incompatible with her, but she should have broken up with you herself instead of being passively aggressive and drugging this thing on.

  12. Sad_Drink9689 Avatar

    NTA she’s safe now

  13. Worth-Season3645 Avatar

    NTA….Your girlfriend could not handle you being bi. She kept bringing it up in every argument. She blamed you for being gay and said it was ruining her life.

    Now, she wants to have it both ways by saying, “even though you are gay, I did not break up with you?”

    Well, why didn’t she? Clearly she has a problem with it.

    Let it go and move on. This was never going to work.

  14. dragonball1515 Avatar

    You did ruin her life as you did not tell her that you are bi when you started the relationship with her even though you have been aware of it for few years. She may want her BF to be just a straight guy. Anyway, good that both have broken up but please be honest with your next partner on your sexual preference.

  15. Interesting-End1710 Avatar

    NTA

    That girl is unhinged. Crazy with a capital B. I daresay laying the toxic framework for an abusive relationship if you stayed. You did right dumping her. Now block her and be ready. She definitely sounds like the type to lie and weaponize this situation.

  16. GrandApprehensive346 Avatar

    Yes you are. Waited for a whole year to disclose your sexuality?

  17. cowplantskeleton Avatar

    NTA she is homophobic and insecure and you’re better off without her.

  18. K-Ashby Avatar

    NTA.

    For me, it’s worrying that she was pushing you to say it even if you were unsure. Who does that?

    I think you’re fundamentally incompatible and that your sexuality is being used as ammunition. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.