I (30F) had a baby 8 weeks ago via a traumatic birth (10+ hrs of active labor, super high fever, emergency C-section, and my son didn’t breathe for 8 min after coming out). I told my husband (37M) that I had no birth plan, and I just wanted us all to get out of the hospital alive and healthy; however, I did have a very specific plan for the first 40 days postpartum that involved eating specific Chinese foods, limiting outings, and not being cold or in the wind; I told him it was very important to me culturally and for my healing. While I was pregnant, (which also had its complications) I meal prepped and froze a lot of food that I just asked him to heat up and add vegetables and make rice, and I wrote recipes down for him. He said, “I got you, baby.” He, in fact, did not have me.
I spent the first two weeks postpartum sleeping on the couch (because I couldn’t get in and out of bed after my surgery), doing the whole night shift by myself every night, and not eating anything besides the fast food he would bring home (or I would end up cooking for us). He told me that staying inside for 40 days was stupid, so by day 10 we were going out (I know that I should have said no, but I was too tired to argue). We had gone to the beach day 14, and when we got there, there were 35 mph winds and my husband said, “let me just fish for a little and we can go,” but he disappeared down the beach (with the car keys) for 3 hours while the baby and I sat in the wind. On day 16 he invited his sister to stay with us for a week, so I had to vacate the couch and climb in and out of our bed (still taking the whole night shift). His sister had a very similar surgery (hysterectomy) earlier this year, and was telling my husband and I about the risk of hernias after a surgery like ours. This was after both of them sat on the couch and watched me haul laundry to and from the garage while they watched TV. She also demanded that we eat certain foods while she was here that she can’t get back home, and my husband doordashed whatever she wanted to the house and/or drove us all to go get food that she wanted. Meanwhile, I couldn’t get him to heat up frozen food for me.
She also told us about the importance of scar care after the surgery, and suggested that I get a c section massage; any place I found were over $200, and I texted my husband I felt guilty spending that much money on something so selfish. He changed the subject and didn’t address my text at all. I felt so incredibly hurt by this. Idk if it was hormonal or what, but him not saying anything to me feeling guilty for wanting to do something nice for myself made me feel so unloved and insignificant. Especially because after his sister had her surgery, he talked to me about wanting to send her $10k of our savings to help her out with medical bills, and he didn’t even acknowledge, let alone offer to pay for a $200 massage for me.
After I was cleared for regular physical activity at 6 weeks, I asked him if it would be ok if I spent 30 min a day in our garage working out, he agreed and said he would watch the baby for me. The next day, when I asked him to hold the baby for me while I worked out and he took my son and put him down into the baby bjorn. The baby started crying halfway through and I had to finish my workout while wearing the baby. He told me while I was pregnant that it was a “nonnegotiable” for him that he continue going to the gym 3x a week, and started going back week 4 from 2pm-6pm leaving me with the baby and having to figure out dinner.
The last straw for me was yesterday, I had been with the baby all night and all morning and he wanted to go get lunch, so I asked him to watch the baby so I could get dressed and I was taking longer than usual to get ready. He snarkily said to the baby, “mom’s gotta try on 6 more pairs of pants before we can leave,” and I lost it on him. I screamed nothing fits me because I just had a fucking baby and I don’t get to work out at all. I told him I f*cking hate him and that he should go to his parent’s house or sleep on the couch or whatever, just to leave me alone. He shook his head at me like I was being irrational and I felt such rage inside me. How could he not see that I was dying? I spent the night googling divorce lawyers and I feel like I’m overreacting.
AITH if I told my husband I wanted a divorce after he made fun of how many pants I tried on?
r/AITAH
Comments
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if anything, you’re under reacting, he’s worse than useless
NTA. You have had no support and it is suffocating you. Being a new mom is hard and he is not there to support you.
If he is willing to drop 10k on his sister post surgery I would just hire some home help/nanny to help you adjust for a few hours break a day. Tell him he needs to remain gone for the foreseeable future.
NTA. My ex once went hiking with a friend and left me alone with a four-month-old while I had a pretty serious case of the flu. That was only the beginning. Notice I said “ex.” These guys just don’t get it, don’t want to get it, and should never marry in the first place. You are not overreacting; you aren’t dragging it out for over 20 years like I did. That’s the type of wisdom I did not have.
NTA. He is the asshole. It’s reasonable to consider divorce when he has no respect for you and is honestly another burden you have. You deserve better. This child is both of yours and by the way he is acting, he thinks you should be the one doing all the work. If you wanted to try, I’d suggest couples counseling. Even if it is to figure out if divorce is the right thing. Counseling helped me realize I needed a divorce as my ex husband acted a lot like yours.
NTA. It wasn’t about the pants. It was about the entire pattern of behavior that has shown you quite clearly where and your baby are in his list of priorities. At best, he may show some interest in being an active father once your son gets old enough to become “interesting,” but he will not be there for the hard parts – for you or him.
Have you told him you are dying?
He’s probably had terrible role modelling from his father etc. Also, where are you? Is this a cultural norm?
His behavior is divorcable BUT you should give him specific repeated warnings (for you and the baby cause divorce is hard).
Repeat calmly:
It has to be SPECIFIC. Then if he doesn’t do the things (for no good reason) you tell him: “I will end the relationship if you don’t help more and follow through like you did today.”
It seems you need to work on being more vocal about your needs. Also, dear god don’t have these conversations via text
NTA
You’re not overreacting. If anything you have been under reacting.
He is selfish, careless and unkind. He doesn’t care to take on any of the load of having a new child. He doesn’t care to make any changes to his life to accommodate your health, diet or emotional needs.
You’ve now seen his true colours. Would a person that truly loves another person behave this way?
Consider if this is what you want for the next 18 years. Make a decision that keeps you and baby safe.
This is more than divorce worthy. I’m so sorry he’s ruining your postpartum experience.
And you noticed none of this behavior of his prior to bringing a kid into this world?
Not over-reacting.
He sounds like a selfish, immature oaf with no respect for you or your culture.
NTA. I hope you can sort out a way to have the life you want without him.
Way under reacting. Im sorry your husband has revealed his true face after all your sacrifice
NTA honestly your life would be easier if you kick him out at this point. He is useless uncaring and mean.
NTA. But let’s be clear this is not about pants. Your husband is a selfish asshole that doesn’t give a shit about you or his child. And furthermore let’s be clear that having a standard hysterectomy surgery is NOT the same as having a C-section. I have had both and the C-section is by far worse. You also shouldn’t have been carrying laundry that soon after surgery.
He’s a bad husband and father. You and the kid will be better without him.
NTA. I felt this way with an ex over house chores and stuff. I left him because the thought of having a baby with a selfish, useless man was bone chilling. My worst fear is what OPs husband did – playing nice until he was really needed.
I want to scream for you! NTA, he’s worse than dead weight.
Nta. he is a useless lump. go get your massage and hire a night nanny to let you sleep nights.
Oh god as a mum myself I could just hug you. What a hellish time you’ve gone through. I’m so sorry for you. To be pushed to do things you don’t feel ready for, to have your cultural, dietary and physical need disregarded, to be left alone all night, to be refused help when you’ve asked for it. This is, objectively, complete shit. If it were me I’d ask one of my parents to move in, or even a sibling. Barring that, I think I would look to hire someone. Spend $200, get a massage, find a nanny. You’re going to have to build your own bridge to your future here, so decide what you want your future to look like and get building. I’m sorry again, I can’t imagine juggling all this while post partum from such a horrific birth. I hope you and your new beautiful baby heal well.
You’re husband sucks as a human.
NTA. You are basically alone. So go for the divorce and get some money out of him. He sounds like a d*ck.
Leave him
I don’t think you’re overreacting. I do think you have been through trauma and it is incredibly stressful right now. I don’t think you should make any long term decisions like divorce right now.
That said, it sounds like you two could use some marriage counseling. Your husband needs to hear you (and to do that, he needs to listen).
Nta. This was just your breaking point.
NTA. Your husband is a POS.
But you also need to put your foot down about some things. If he says “we” are leaving the house, you tell him no you’re not and that he can go alone. Don’t give in and go.
NTA I just had a baby 12 weeks ago and it was HARD. The newborn phase is incredibly exhausting and your husband sounds like a terrible person. He’s not only not helping you but actively going against what you want. To be honest it doesn’t even sound like he likes you. I would divorce him. You’re already a single parent with him around so drop the extra weight and extra work and leave him and take him for all he’s worth.
NTA or overreacting at all. He seems to be a horrible husband and not a very good father either. You seem to be a single parent from everything you’ve said. His behavior is gross and honestly he doesn’t even seem to like you let alone love you. It’s pretty obvious he doesn’t respect you or your culture at all.
NTA, I would call this behaviour abusive. He doesn’t care about your health or safety, or his child.
NTA. Your husband hates you and is doing everything possible to make your life as miserable as possible. You need to grow a backbone and give him a taste of his own medicine. I would have filed for a divorce when he refused to make you food that you prepped and cooked or when he left you at the beach or when he invited his sister. He is awful and you deserve better.
Girl, your house is starting to stink really bad and you should definitely take out the “trash”. What a useless partner you have there. You deserve better. Better to do it alone then next to someone cheering for your demise.
Run.
That fishing trip was a power move and a cruel one at that. Make appointments with those divorce lawyers. You will be better off without him
YTA. You should’ve been ready to go work out and clean the house the second you got out of the hospital. To think you have to rely on your husband…. Psh…
40 days with a specific diet and cocooning at home sounds like the perfect way to start a life. Sure, maybe a stroll around the block, but what you proposed sounds so healthy and healing. You would recovering your strength and peace. Your husband has no clue of what is going on around him. Clueless, useless. Take care. Best Wishes.
I couldn’t bring myself to read the whole thing! Just dump his sorry ass.
u/BurbNBougie, another man who didn’t see the divorce coming .
It’s not about the pants. It’s about the total lack of care, consideration, and respect he’s shown since you had the baby. He is a real piece of work if all of this is true. I would out now. He’s shown you who he is. If he is this selfish, I’d venture to guess you have seen it before now. You’re just more heightened to it now because it affects more than you.
NTA
Maybe write him a letter with all of these complaints, and serve them with divorce papers. It will either wake his ass up and he will beg for another chance, or he signs and you get divorced. Or ask for a separation. Make him have a few hours a day alone with the baby for his parenting time. At the very least get him to add you to his gym membership and you go all the days he doesn’t, and leave baby and dinner to him on those days.
There’s so much to unpack here.
> The 40 days postpartum care is a huge cultural thing that’s just not easy to replicate – I come from a culture that has it too. It’s not necessary either. I think you set yourself up for this disappointment because the expectation is just high and foreign (not easy to adapt to). Most women in such cultures spend this time with their mom for this reason, it’s rare (if ever) a partner can manage this level of care (let alone a foreign one who doesn’t get it). In my culture there’s someone designated to nurse you back if not your mom, or the entire (grand)mom’s household. I legit travelled to my home country and gave birth there to have this support, even I didn’t know what it entails – only that I’d be clueless enough without the support and a whole new baby to manage my usual life in a week or two (as western customs tend to do). I know the Chinese have a similar thing because only Chinese colleagues understood why I went to give birth abroad, in the west you’re out with a week old baby no problem. It’s a stark contrast. Tbf I couldn’t do the traditional 40 days fully either and it causes a lot of weight gain.
> Him carrying his weight with baby care and giving you time is an objective discussion I’d take to couples counselling – clearly you two didn’t have a joint plan for this.
> Him showing more support as a host to his sister is obviously gonna nag at you, where in his mind it’s a guest and our brains tend to compartmentalise that separate to everyday living. Something for counselling so he can be made aware. I do think you’re entangling that to your let downs where they’re actually not related.
> you talk about your plans – are you meant to plan and dictate how every meal or outing goes post-baby? Or should he be empowered to participate independently? Very important for counselling, you’re setting yourself up with the mental load while he is just clueless – that’s not a healthy precedent.
Is he worth divorcing? Only you know, if he’s unable to learn and be made aware then maybe…I’d try counselling first and get parent coaching together (so you both know what to plan for, you are not the commandant for life).
If i just read your title, you were the AH but reading the entire story, he’s a super AH and you’re not.
NTA. He seems to have zero regard for your needs/wants and zero respect for you.
YTA for allowing any of this.
You just laid down and took it and expected him to be decent. He’s not. After the first few days he should have been out on his ass. And you continued to take his bullshit.
Get rid of him.
You are definitely not overreacting, shit like this calls for couples counseling before jumping to divorce.
..and you had no clue he was so selfish before? Is it possible for you to stay with your parents until he learns how be a good husband and father, to care for his own family (not his sister’s)?
Get a good divorce lawyer and make copies of all financials. Go get the massage- you don’t need permission. He disrespected you and your culture. If you’re going to have to do it alone and be miserable with a husband, you may as well be alone and happy. NTA. Congratulations on the little one!
Girl, get the hell out of there and make sure you get your fair share of everything too. The dude is a drain and will be a terrible role model for your son. I get the impression he’s not interested in being a father either.
You e spent the last 8 weeks proving that beyond bills, you can and are doing it all yourself.
Your husband sucks. Make your life easier and leave or kick him out now. If you’ve got a good relationship with your mom, tell her everything and see if you can go home.
He’s awful Hon. Save yourself. You don’t have to try to make it work. You just did for two months. You deserve help, and breathing room, and safety, and love.
At worst he hates you, at best he tolerates you. Why are you still married to him? Run.
There is a lot here
Divorcing him seems like a favour to him, if you really want to hurt him, stay married
There is a lot here
Divorcing him seems like a favour to him, if you really want to hurt him, stay married
Divorce him, it will not get better.. At least this way, you will have one less person to clean after, you can eat whatever you want and when he has babytime you can go to the gym! Also you don’t have to host his sister for so long anymore. Its a winwinwin!
I feel like being a single mom would be better than dealing with the stress of a boy. You married a boy. Because a man would’ve been at your beck and call to help you with the baby he helped create. I’m so sorry you found out this way that he’s a boy but yeah. I don’t know how to fix boys.
You would be doing him a favour by exiting his life.
NTA time to move out. He’s dragging you down and you deserve better.
Leave. He’s abusive and controlling. It will only get worse.
Read what you wrote and explain to me where the love and care are. Like seriously, read it. Imagine you have daughter/sister/friend writing those same words. Would this not cause you rage? I dont even know you, and I’m angry for you. This guy you chose… he’s selfish, entitled, and he doesn’t love you.
I had ppd bad with my daughter and at some points I wanted to cover my ex with a pillow (if you know what I mean). I thought it was just ppd. It wasn’t. It started this way and went downhill fast, to the point I had 106 fever and had to crawl to bathroom and he just asked when I was making dinner.
I saw someone else say give him a chance with specific instructions. Try that for a week if you are hesitant. But I honestly believe he won’t do anything differently. Nta and I’m so sorry you had rough birth then have to deal with this too, sending much love and support
No…sounds like he is dodging a bullet……keep going
NTA I would be done too.
He’s a POS. Divorce him and get child support.
You don’t need this, and it doesn’t get better. He doesn’t see you as a person anymore. You are his wife and the mother of his child, but in his mind you, as an autonomous person with needs and boundaries, have ceased to exist. Don’t let your child grow up watching him dismiss your needs while you shrink to meet his expectations. Don’t put yourself through this hell. Good luck 🍀
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this
He sounds exhausting and self centred. No doubt.
But I’m also wondering why you don’t get a say in going to the beach, or his sister staying over, or rejecting the fast food (I assume the confinement food was just for you). Did you tell him it was an asshole move to leave you and the baby on the beach for 3 hours? During that 3 hours did you not call him at all to ask where tf he is? When the baby cried on the bouncer, did you tell him to get his ass off before taking the baby?
If you did and he consistently and blatantly ignores your needs, then I would say separation is a fair thing to consider. If you have NOT shown that you’ve been unhappy until the six pants comment incident, then a first step would at least to be completely honest and give him a fair shot to wake the fuck up. Literally list what you ranted about here to him. Say you feel unloved and overlooked.
I hope I don’t seem like I’m blaming you, because I’m not at all. I just wanted to know if he KNOWS he’s being useless. He’s eithe super selfish or super oblivious.
In any case, 8 weeks post partum is rough. If you need him out of your hair for a while, then do that so that you can get some peace. I truly hope you will get to enjoy the baby amidst all the issues with your husband. You never get those moments back. Good luck.
NTA – but it is time for a decision.
I have to admit, going outside would have been good for you and the baby under the right circumstances (not sand and wind). I had a very major surgery a few years ago (think 7 days in the hospital type surgery). It was not bad weather. I got out and was walking as much as I could to build up strength. While lifting isn’t good, walking is. Getting out is. I got my babies out early, not so much in public, but outside. I put them in a stroller and went walking a bit.
As far as exercising in your garage, can you do that while the baby is sleeping? or put them in a pack and play out there? I realize he should be helping. I agree with that, but he isn’t and you need strength to get through all this.
I would suggest putting some funding aside for you and the baby to move out, if you are serious about leaving him or kicking him out.
You could also ask him to attend counselling with you, he may not be willing. That would give you your answer.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. How awful. I really can’t believe there are “men” in the world that treat their spouses like this.
You are obviously NTA. Is your husbands father around? If so, dad needs to have a talking-to with his son (aka an ass whipping) …
Wow! Congrats to anybody who able to read that novel!
NTA. It’s stories like this that make me so glad that I am a single mother by choice. I may have to do it all but I am not carrying around OP’s very valid and legitimate resentment and anger towards my supposed partner for their lack of consideration for mine and my child’s needs, and not pulling their weight in the family and household. I also had a traumatic labor and birth culminating in an emergency c-section and I was so very lucky to have had my parents around to support me and the baby during my surgical recovery and they were an absolute blessing, nothing like OP’s thoughtless and useless lump of a husband. If he doesn’t pull his head out of his ass, divorce him, and then you’ll only have one child to deal with instead of two.
Doesn’t even sound like you’re in a relationship with this man. If not for the fact you said he was your husband I would assumed he’s your asshole brother who is stuck living with you. You need to start putting your foot down and telling him no. You both decided to have a baby, you both need to participate in its care. That means he needs to STFU about going to the gym and stop making you do the laundry 3 weeks after having a fucking child because that’s absolutely ridiculous. He doesn’t even seem to give a shit about you or his child. NTA.
Oh, no Honey, you are NOT overreacting! He’s not only irresponsible with YOU, but he’s irresponsible with (your and) HIS OWN BABY! This guy is going to continue to be more of a child than your actual child – dump him NOW because he’s already no help. (And I really doubt he works out for 4 HOURS 3 times a week. Some do, but the odds are heavily against it. He’s just hiding from his responsibilities.)
NTA. I’d like to add to the comments that the strain you were putting on your healing body by taking care of the baby and doing laundry, etc. was really not good for you. After my thyroid surgery, which isn’t as invasive and big as a c-section, I was told to not even lift a frying pan or hang up laundry to dry for two weeks.
I’m only reading the title. If you are seriously considering divorce because your husband made a joke about how many pairs of pants you tried on, You have larger problems at hand. Seems like a little bit of an over reaction
You are a single married mom. Ditch the loser, strictly breastfeed and see if any relatives on your side can help with baby. File and get spousal and child support during proceedings
I Hope you are feeling better. The whole birth sounds super traumatic. He’s a jerk, leave him immediately, it will only get worse. You would be a single parent either way, but this way you don’t have to carry all the rage every day living with him. Just leave, find your own peace and space where you can enjoy being a parent to that beautiful baby of yours.
NTA. If it was just the pants comment, that would be one thing, but this is much much worse. He is giving you and the baby zero support.
NTA and underreacting. Divorce seems and amazing idea here.
Please don’t TELL him you want a divorce. If you want a divorce, you need to do it with as little drama as possible. So don’t mention it at all.
Find a bulldog of a divorce lawyer, and follow their instructions to the letter. Figure out everything — again, without telling your husband. Custody, child support, etc.
If you’re going to be the one who moves out, work that out. Get your new, unshared bank account in order — don’t forget to change your direct deposit. Move out when he isn’t home. Leave the papers on the table.
If you’re keeping the house, have other people there when you serve him the papers. Have a bag all packed for him, so he can leave right away. If you’re feeling energetic, have all of his things packed and ready to go.
Mute him on your phone after that, and have all of his communications go through your lawyer. Child-related discussions can go through a parenting app. You will have no reason to actually have a conversation with him again after he’s served.
Be prepared to mute/block all of his flying monkeys that will come out of the woodwork to tell you how horrible you are.
Enjoy your peace and motherhood.
Girl, leave him expeditiously. This man has not helped you in any way with this child except to be present for the conception. He not only has not supported you physically or mentally in this time, but he disrespected your entire culture by refusing to give the proper respect to your cultural postpartum practices, that’s so unbelievably disrespectful I can’t even articulate it. Making you eat fast food and not work out, not helping you overnight?? He’s an idiot at best, a controlling, isolating, manipulative asshole at worst. NTAH
Let’s be clear. You’re not leaving him because of that comment alone. You’re leaving because he’s unreliable when things go sideways. The comment was the straw that broke the camels back.
Personally, I think having a strict plan pre or post partum isn’t reasonable because life happens as you learned. But you’re not “punishing” him for not following your plan either. You didn’t unreasonably force your plan onto him. And even if you did, 2-3 weeks after a complicated delivery requires some level respect to the needs to the recovering patient. Asking for food you want and are craving and asking for help doing heavy lifting and asking to not sit and wait in a car for hours is NOT unreasonable.
You’re leaving because he didn’t care about your health and well being. He expected you to be ok just waiting in a car for HOURS so he could fish only two weeks after a very complicated delivery.
He invited his sister over while you were recovering and left housework and heavy lifting to you. He catered to her and not his recovering wife. Plus he demeaned your requests.
So let’s be honest. It’s not the comment. It’s him actively doing things that harm your recovery.
Edit to add: NTA.
This isn’t about the pants. This is about him not being there for you at all or listening to your needs. You deserve a partner, not another child. Leave his ass and find a true partner
Please do not have other children with this man. He’s worse than useless. I’m Chinese American so I know all about the one month post partum quarantine that many women do. I didn’t do it, but because it’s important to YOU, I think it should have been important to HIM. You are recovering from abdominal surgery and you’re exhausted from growing a whole human and this moron can’t do the basic to care for you? He sucks and I don’t think people like this get better. Divorce before you get sucked into a routine that makes you more resentful and unhappy and God forbid you end up pregnant again. I wish you and your baby well.
Updateme
It is somewhat understandable for the father to be less hands-on with a newborn because newborn needs mom SO much, but you always have to be careful that doesn’t become a pattern and they get used to leaving the childcare to mom once baby is outside newborn stage and they can help more. In the newborn stage the father should be doing EVERyTHING else to still be a partner to the mother – especially anything requiring lifting – it is a medical requirement that you don’t lift anything heavier than the newborn those first weeks, which a laundry basket definitely qualifies! This man is dangerous to your health aside from being a terrible partner and father. NTA
Updateme
If he’s acting this way when you are young and newer in your marriage, how is he going to treat you in 20 or 30 years if you start having real medical problems that come with age and need a caring partner to help you? What if you got cancer? I know two couples who got divorced when they were over 40 years old because the husband flat out said, “I didn’t sign up for this” when their wife got cancer (and did survive). They were not helpful during the treatment at all and really gave their wives a hard time during the treatment. But after the cure, the men filed for divorce. Good riddance. To those of us on the outside, we wonder how everything could’ve been perfect all those other years and just suddenly showed up like that during Cancer? My point is look for the red flags and get out ASAP. Find a good man who will treat you well.
The fact he has been ignoring your needs at such an important time in your recovery AND while you are juggling so much becoming a new mother is astounding. He sounds like he is also gaslighting you simply by smirking enjoying you be pushed to your limit and fly off the handle. He wants to be able to call you irrational and crazy to undermine any argument you might be making for your own health and safety. He wanted you to lose your cool so it invalidates any point you’re making, so he can just call you emotional or hormonal and not ever take any sort of accountability.
You already resent him. It sounds like he resents the hell out of you. People that use his tactics don’t suddenly wake up one day and do better.
I’d be finding ways to start stashing away some money now, getting documents in order, etc for leaving him. Get yourself prepared now, Because eventually, you’ll probably want to leave him.
My jaw dropped so many times at the horrid and cruel treatment of you by him and his shitty sister!!
Please, take him to the cleaners ASAP!
NTAH
NTA, and this is so much more than just his snarky comment. That was just the tipping point. He has shown you since your son’s birth that he does not care about you in the least. You need to start recording this behavior and these comments from him, then go talk to a lawyer and a counselor. Good luck.
he will watch the baby for you? that’s his flippin kid! he’s taking care of his child, not watching a baby.
Yeah, time to turn that “husband” into a “wasband” and go on about your life. He’s an enormous jackbag, and you + your baby deserve better than this.
NTA. Sounds like my ex.
A gentle reminder to speak to your doctor to make sure you’re aren’t experiencing, or don’t slip into post natal depression <3
You are more than valid in your feelings and yes, objectively, he’s being wildly inconsiderate and dismissive at best.
Since you both brought a child into the world, you’re going to need to work as a team regardless if you are together.
Have you spoken to him about how his behavior is not only failing him as a partner, but also as a Dad?
I would suggest communicating as clearly as possible. Sat up a nigh schedule, chore schedule, etc.
Lean on your supports. Postpartum is no joke. Processing a traumatic birth makes it even more complicated.
Good luck to you <3
NTA you’ll have less work and more support if you go through with the divorce
Is this even real? 🤣🤣🤣
I got to the part where he goes fishing at the beach. I can picture men that fish at the beach and they are always super trashy looking. That’s all I need to know that he’s not a good guy.
NTA but you should transfer your savings to account t he doesn’t know about before he gives everything to his sister.