Hi So I’m a 17F and I have a friend who is 18M, we began being friends three weeks ago and he had just broken up with his ex girlfriend which I did not know about. Anyway we began talking and on weekends we call for like more than 5 hours just chilling and talking, and we call a lot and we text so much we like never leave eachother on read or delivered besides from saying good night and good morning texts which is what we do. Anyway, we also are friends with benefits and we sext but when I admitted my feelings and he didn’t return them I did say to him that I don’t want him calling me “baby” anymore and that our sexting shouldn’t be regular and when it happens it happens.
The other day we called and he has to go which was fine but i decided to check up on him and he said “you know we are just friends right” and then deleted chat but i saw it and it hurt like a motherfucker because I realised I caught feelings and he didn’t. Later that day on call, I told him how I felt and he said that the chance of him catching feelings are bigger than I think and that he can see us dating but he hasn’t caught them but I was shocked about bc the things we do our more for couples. He always talks about his ex most of his problems are centred around her which is totally understandable bc they just broke up and they are still in contact. He says I’m the best person he speaks to at the moment but I’m not sure. I literally think about him all day and dream about him and I miss him all the time like I really like being in his presence. And when I asked him he said the thinks about me at night. We even fell asleep on call together
My conscience and the people around me are telling me to block him because he will become an unnecessary distraction, especially since I’m doing a levels and I’m in year 12. But my heart doesn’t want to at all and is clinging on to him like koala. I have cried already last night and it’s so bad that I’m looking forward to our call tomorrow. I’m so fucked.
What should I do? Should I push on and let us be friends and focus on my studies and put less time into our relationship? Or shud I just completely block his ass and forget all about him? I have mocks coming up and they determine my predicted grades for universities and depend whether or not I get an offer
TL:DR – I think I have fallen in love with a douche bag, and I don’t know what to do. And I’m in the friend zone and shud I just leave or be patient.
Comments
There is nothing redeeming about the situation for you and the sooner you get out the easier it will be
Yeah dude romantic relationships aren’t supposed to be that hard that soon.
I’ve had less drama in a 10 year marriage than you’ve had in 10 days.
He doesn’t have the same feelings for you. Prioritise your own wellbeing.
He’s using you to fulfill his needs. He doesn’t want to fulfill yours. He’s not going to be there if you don’t do well in your mocks. But your entire university experience will depend on how you do. Be selfish. Focus on you.
Don’t put more time into a relationship than someone else wants to. You will find—and deserve—someone who wants to be with you. This person is using you and taking everything you’re offering without giving back. He wants to keep your attention focused on him by giving you false hope he ”might” catch feelings. He’s not the one. He’s not even the one right now.
There is a reason people caution against being in a rebound relationship.
He recently broke up with someone 🚩
He’s still in contact with his ex 🚩
He’s always talking about his ex 🚩
He’s giving you an unhealthy amount of attention 🚩
He’s saying he might be interested at some point 🚩
‘Just friends’ don’t sext each other 🚩
Focus on your A levels and yourself, ditch this guy, and open up the space for someone who actually wants you for you not just a rebound. YANW
You started being friends 3 weeks ago. As you stated, he’s a douche. Please, for your sake, block him and move on. You caught the feels, but he’s stringing you along.
He might, someday, have feelings for you. In the meantime, he’s still interacting with his ex. If she changes her mind, he’ll be back with her in a heartbeat. Where will that leave you?
Find someone who likes you right away rather than someone who keeps you around for a backup plan. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You deserve so much better.
You don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t take the time to heal or work on improving himself post breakup. That shows you how little he values his relationship/ past relationships.
You’ve probably heard this quote but it’s so true… when people tell you who they are, believe them. He’s told you multiple times where you stand.
Him saying he might eventually catch feels didn’t happen until after you told him there would be less sexting, not to call you baby, and I’m sure he noticed you pulling away a bit. It’s screaming manipulative.
Him deleting that text is manipulative and shady. He only deleted it because it could hurt his cause of using you physically.
It’s only been a couple weeks so of course it’s new and exciting! It sounds like deep down you want a relationship, there is someone out there who wants the same thing and has way better qualities as a partner.
Three weeks are you for real ,👀
MajorYou, is right on this. Everyone thinks they have to have a bf for some reason, I used to also ngl. Many bad relationships later, you couldn’t drag me kicking and screaming back into that mess. You need to focus on being independent bc you can’t and shouldn’t depend on someone else to make you whole. When I was married, was the most alone I have ever been. In the end the only person you can count on is you to have your back, so don’t let yourself down.
YNW
Block and move on. There are better people out there.