TW: child sexual abuse, pedophilia, emotional blackmail
My ex emotionally blackmailed me and actually used the grooming methods abusers use on children to keep them quiet (he sent me these all by text so I’ve been screenshotting everything) so I would not talk to ANYONE about what he admitted. I told him not to go into detail because just the amount he told me is horrifying, and his dad even encouraged him to find a child bride in a different country so he doesn’t get in trouble. I am terrified of him and his family, he has physically abused me in the past and his family are all physically abusive and almost killed people.
I still am choosing to go to the FBI despite all of this. It’s easily the scariest most traumatizing thing I’ve been through. He is currently not aware and I am placating him, but he has done everything to attempt to make me feel guilty “you’d ruin my life”, “most men are like me, your dad is one of the rare ones who isn’t like me”, “I trusted you with this secret and haven’t told anyone else”, one of the most horrific reason being “I won’t be able to become famous” etc…it goes on.
He actually was successful in making me feel guilt but not even close to the extent I won’t protect children over him. I am dealing now with that guilt though, I feel I’m doing the right thing…yet his voice is loud in my head as well as the fear of his or his family’s retaliation.
He is extremely well loved in the community (hence him becoming famous-he is well on his way). He’s such a nice person to everyone including strangers (except to obviously children and his girlfriends). I am afraid I won’t be believed-I recorded him but found out I live in a 2 party consent state so even though I have him admitting to his crimes, it doesn’t matter.
Am I doing the wrong thing? My brain feels like it’s being stretched like a rubber band.
Comments
You are not wrong. Hopefully you have actual evidence other wise its your word against his.
No
I really hate when y’all ask if y’all are the ah for doing the right thing 🙄
you should absolutely help him become famous, even if he doesn’t like the reason. you can prevent future abuse of children and help his victims to get some measure of justice.
No. This is very serious. If you stay quiet chances are he’s going to do this again to someone else. It’s hard, but you’re doing the right thing. Save all the evidence you can and report him.
It’s my understanding that the recording cannot be used in a court of law. But I feel certain the fbi will use it as part of their investigation. Keep copies of everything you give to the fbi.
Curious to why the FBI and not the local police?
Not wrong and bless you. You are a champion
You need to figure out a way to do it anonymously. How does he get in contact with these children?
The FBI needs a way to set up a sting operation, they will try to get more names from him.
Let the FBI know that you’re scared for your life from him and his family a d the dad is just as sick
Not wrong
But you need to protect yourself first with an escape plan.
You are not wrong, any decent person would and SHOULD report someone admitting to csa. You would only be wrong if you decided to sweep it under the rug. Thank you, on behalf of those whose voices cannot be heard.
Not wrong OP.
Far from it. You did the right thing to protect more children from such predatory behaviour from your ex by reporting it the required authority.
Your ex however…….he has to learn that his actions has serious consequences for him to face & he’s not a trustworthy & not a good person.
Monsters are that doesn’t have the right to expect anything.
You’re not wrong, but let’s be clear, you are already exposed to these risks.
As he gets bored with trying to poke at your stuff, you’re going to start changing passwords, setting up a couple of new email accounts (with a more privacy focused provider), your primary bank, your primary phone. Take steps now to learn basic opsec.
Ensure he gets bored with you. You’re neither an obstacle nor an aid to his rise to fame.
If you know where he operates, consider helping that organization with getting more cameras, and automated transfer of video files to read only storage. (After all, it’s not just for the protection of the youth, it’s for the protection of the reputation of honest volunteers.)
you are also not wrong about the risks. Honestly, I would start making plans
Should have went the first time you found out.