Obituaries are a form of news and as such, relevant details should be included as to when the person died and how. There are too many obits these days that just say “passed away unexpectedly” as a way of glossing over something that may be unpleasant or embarrassing for the family. Whenever I see that (for a younger person) I assume an overdose or death by suicide anyway. The thing is, these are extremely common causes of death, and not talking about it makes people not realize how extremely common they are. It is a service to society to admit when a family member has taken their own life, or struggled with an addiction that ultimately took their life, as it may help others in a similar place, or dealing with family members with similar issues gain a sense of perspective as to the gravity of the situation they (and society) are facing.
EDIT: Thank you to those of you who have pointed out suicide contagion and copycats. I was unaware of that phenomenon, and wish that we lived in a world where everyone had access to the support they need.
I guess on a broader level, I wish we lived in a world that had a lot less shame and taboo around death, something that statistics suggest will happen to most of us.
ADDITIONAL EDITS:
Yes, I am familiar with how obituaries work. Yes, I have had loved ones pass away and experienced tragedy and grief in my life.
No, I don’t want the grisly details. ‘In a traffic accident.’ ‘Unexpectedly following a short illness.’ ‘As a result of an accident at home’ more METHODS of death than causes. Many obits already do this – I am objecting to the intentionally opaque ones. I do not care about the coroner’s/toxicology report.
No, I don’t want this to be some kind of a legal requirement, but think that it’s something the families should consider when writing them. As someone said in the comments, often times people don’t appreciate a problem or issue until it is personal to them. Why do all of those politicians suddenly support LGBTQ+ causes when one of THEIR kids comes out? Did they not have empathy for humans before? Maybe, but it didn’t hit close enough to home.
Yes, I am nosy. No, I am not a monster.
Curiosity is normal and part of being human. I am also a historian, and an amateur genealogist.
Additionally, having an idea of the circumstances can also inform how you approach others in their grief. If I know the bereaved had been in hospice for six months, that’s a different experience for the family than a sudden traffic accident.
Also, I am so sorry to all those who have suffered losses compounded by insensitive prying rubberneckers or experienced abuse or harassment over the manner of a loved one’s demise. I suppose more than anything, I wish people weren’t so awful so we could be more open with each other in community.
Also also, Yes, of course it is none of my fucking business.
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You have to reach out to the family, and if you don’t have that kind of relationship, you probably don’t really deserve to know and are just rubbernecking.
In memoriams don’t normally list the cause of death…
If you don’t already know, why the fuck do you care?
I really disagree. It’s up to the families to release whatever info they want. They don’t owe the public anything.
None of your business.
They often don’t know the cause of death lmao. Dude thinks it’s Hollywood and everyone gets an autopsy and that goes in the autopsy national database
I understand that people get curious, but most of the time, it’s none of our business how someone, especially a stranger, dies.
Its the families business. If you don’t already know you’re not entitled to that knowledge.
Dude no.
You don’t deserve to know the cause of death.
My dad fell and hit his head. Did you expect us to put that down. What would be the point?
Little Jeffy Jeremy. 1923-2019. Throat Slashed.
I disagree take my upvote
It’s an announcement and kind of a farewell, it’s not mandatory to have your relative’s death listed in the obituaries. If people were forced to list the cause of death people would just stop submitting obituaries. People shouldn’t have to publicly share things that they don’t want to share in a time of grief to make others feel better, we have statistics for that. And if I died in a way I wasn’t proud of and my family put it in the paper they’d be getting haunted to the greatest extent of my abilities.
That’s… Quite an unpopular opinion
That sounds so entitled. If you’re reading the obituary of someone you knew, then you likely know the cause already, and if you don’t then it’s none of your business.
Take my up vote. I really don’t think I, or anyone else, needs to know grandpa died of a heartattack while using Viagra.
Honest question here, why do you care?
Ehhh this is a stretch because you’re implying that society would take suicide and addiction more seriously if you had to state the cause of death. But these topics already hold a lot of weight in society and I don’t think very many people believe those are not common causes of death.
Found my wife’s Reddit account.
This is one of those things she is weirdly, weirdly insistent about.
Facebook posts ought to. If I know you well enough, I shouldn’t have to put anyone through asking.
An actual unpopular opinion, well played sir!
Assuming it was an OD or a suicide is extremely, by definition, ignorant. If you don’t know them, it really isnt any of your business. Take this upvote OP.
Your desire for tea doesn’t mean the family should publish private emotionally sensitive information about their loved ones.
Absolutely not. It is the families right to share what they think is necessary/what they are comfortable sharing.
If my mother died due to someone murdering her (extreme, I know)… Id share with those closest to me, but I don’t need everyone who she has encountered know that she was murdered.
I’m actually really glad you decided to voice this opinion here so that I can share this information with you: The causes of death are recorded on death certificates and tracked, at least in the US. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00001318.htm. I’m guessing that is true in every country.
I think a lot of families do raise awareness. But globally public obituaries? I don’t know. That’s pretty private information.
Not all of us will pass away quietly and dignified like David Carradine, so our families are doing us a courtesy by keeping the details private.
A friend of mine recently passed and the obit described the death as “unjust” without going into detail. This left me to imagine all manner of violent deaths. Like maybe it was a mugging gone wrong or a run in with the police. But it was just a heart attack. I guess they meant it was unjust because he was ~43… Just say heartattack dammit.
Another friend died “on a ski trip” making me think it was a skiing accident. To think that’s what got him all these years after overcoming his battle with addiction. Nevermind, he ODed… Very misleading.
Right, because “Died from complications from surgical equipment accidentally left in their body” sounds so much better than “Passed away unexpectedly”
‘Sudden illness’ usually means a heart attack or stroke
Tough call for me. Agree because I’m nosey as hell. But disagree because people deserve privacy. 😅
Obituaries aren’t a list of every one who died
I wish they did too. But that’s my own morbid curiosity. Truth is its none of my business even if I want to know.
Lmao you just nosy
Sometimes you can infer based on other information listed in the obituary. A lot of people now will say “in lieu of flowers, please donate to xyz.” That’s how I figured out that someone I went to highschool went committed suicide. His family listed a charity for suicide help lines in the obituary.
I had this exact conversation with my BF’s sister in law and they thought it was a wild take. I have asked that it be published in my obituary how I died. That way no one has to speculate or wonder. You can be close to me but not know my family at all. Tell my friends and family EXACTLY what happened to me so they know.
Why would you need to know the cause of death? Like what what intended purpose other than your own sole selfish entertainment?
Part of what I don’t like about the internet is that everyone feels entitled to have all information at all times. Nosy people have always existed, but now it’s so normalized that even in grief, families aren’t allowed to keep to themselves. This is the same issue with true crime; these are real people that are being grieved, maybe we don’t need to stick our noses into other people’s fresh wounds out of curiosity, eh?
There are many illnesses and causes of death that are still stigmatized. Some people may not want to tell the world their loved one died of AIDS because they don’t want Westboro Baptist Chrurch to show up at the funeral.
If you’ve never had to write an obituary, imagine someone you loved just died and now you have to write up a summary of their life to be published publicly while you are still grieving. It fucking sucks. Obituaries should contain whatever the family wants them to contain.
I’m just glad to see an unpopular opinion on the unpopular opinion sub.
You must not understand how obituaries work. Someone pays money to have their loved one’s obituary posted. They write what is posted. It’s not cheap either.
Obituaries are written and paid for by the family and are basically a form of ad.
Not everything in a newspaper is news.
In Ireland it’s not uncommon for them to say it without saying it. For example if the death notice reads, “family flowers only, donations in lieu of Breast Cancer Ireland”, you know they died of breast cancer
“He is survived by a wife and two children. He died by autoerotic asphyxiation.”
Im with it, every couple years youll see something crazy like “exploded” or “devoured by bear”. Ill start calling my state representative
How specific do you want it to be? Is “motorcycle accident” good enough or should it say “full body degloving followed by decapitation”
As someone who had to deal with suicidal thoughts for years – reading just how many people actually killed themselves in my little town would have most likely led to me joining that rank.
I would also like to add there is a thing called suicide contagion where if someone commits suicide in a community it is more likely that there will be more suicides. So maybe the pros (you rubbernecking) does not outweigh the cons (more potential suicides).
Most obituaries these days are paid ads, paid by the family. They write what they want.
The days went newspapers wrote obituaries as a news service are over – killed by the death of the business model.
As a sibling to someone who died from suicide… I actually agree. I sometimes think we were in the wrong to not name it and own it in the obituary. Do I think it’s a big deal that we didn’t put it in the obituary? Definitely not, because I’m not ashamed regardless. But I do think OP has a valid point here.
The death of loved ones is not shameful and naming what caused their passing does not devalue the lives they lived.
Gertrude Vonshitter Pants
4/20/1927-6/6/2025
Gertrude was a wonderful grandmother and mother who died of Dysentery on the toilet in her home
Carl Buttenhole
5/13/1962-6/19/2025
Carl died of a massive heart attack while having sex with his wife Thursday night in his bed. Carl was a wonderful husband and father.
Earl Nippleson
2/16/1972-7/4/2025
Earl died while playing with a firework that went through his eye while drunk. He leaves behind his loving wife and two children.
Jennifer Jumparoo
2/4/1990-6/8/2025
Died of a crack overdose in an alley. She was a loving wife and mother.
You can see how this could be an issue right? Families dont want to remember their loved ones by how they died, especially if it was gruesome or personal.
Everyone dies, that doesn’t mean an autopsy is preformed. My mother died in her sleep, we have no idea what the actual cause of death was. We didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars to get the cause of death, it’s not like it would bring her back to life.
Murdered by his psychiatrist, and had his liver eaten with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
I used to think the same until my brother died of an accidental overdose almost ten years ago. He was a beloved elementary school teacher and largely because of that, his wife didn’t want his cause of death to be public. It was her decision so we respected it.
At the funeral while the long line of people was shuffling through, a woman none of us had ever seen before, brazenly asked my brother and me, “So does the family know how he died or what?” I said the results were pending (they were), and she said “I think that’s the wife and the father, so who are you two?” And I replied “We’re the brother and the sister.” The woman turned red and mumbled “sorry for your loss” and immediately left. Later my sister-in-law asked if we knew who she was because apparently that lady had been asking multiple people about the cause of death. It was so weird and intrusive of her, and I always remember that when I see a younger person who has died and my morbid curiosity gets the best of me.
Obituaries are in fact NOT news. They are posted by the deceased’s family or representatives. They’re not compulsory.
This is how you get suicide contagion.
I agree with you that in an ideal world, people who struggle with suicidality would find comfort in knowing others do too and this would prevent it; in practice, evidence suggests hearing about suicide may actually induce it in others by making people feel as though they have permission. Wikipedia has a decent overview.
Get rid of privacy to satisfy your personal curiosity? Gtfo.
If you’re reading Obits often enough to form this opinion, I think you need to find more things to read.
I’m sure you’re done with Eddy Poe’s works. Maybe google writers adjacent to him.
Not into privacy?
>There are too many obits these days that just say “passed away unexpectedly” as a way of glossing over something that may be unpleasant or embarrassing for the family. Whenever I see that I always assume an overdose or death by suicide anyway.
This is a really weird fucking thing to always assume, you do know that don’t you???
Obituaries aren’t news articles. They exist only to inform others of someone’s death. The details of the demise are none of your business if the family of the deceased doesn’t care to share them with you.
Um there’s a little thing called privacy and last time I checked, we have that right.
Please post your entire medical record on the internet please
See: Business, Nunya.
How is that any of your business?
If you’re not close enough to the person to know their COD anyway, it’s none of your business.
What do you think an obituary is for? It’s not the news updating everyone with who died recently. It’s a volentary, paid for notice from the family to the public it says what the family wants it to say.
You are not entitled to know this information. Most papers charge for obituaries so they are not “news.” Not everyone who dies even gets an obituary.
I work in and ER and people pass away unexpectedly all the time from random shit like heart attacks, blood clots, cancer they didn’t know they had, fell off a ladder and hit his head, got stabbed at a bus stop, hit by a car, sudden anaphylaxis when they never knew they had an allergy, and whatever else you can imagine. Wouldn’t just assume it’s overdose or suicide if the family doesn’t want to say. More people than you think die on the toilet lol
They used to. I found newspaper clippings when I was cleaning out a family member’s house, and they were very matter-of-fact about cause of death. Not graphic, just blunt. A lot of farm accidents back then.
“Cause of death” is NOT a painfully detailed narrative. Heart attack, battle with cancer, car crash, folding couch accident, etc. That’s all it takes.
Imagine having to write your Dad’s obituary and saying he died of auto erotic asphyxiation.
Why do you feel entitled to this information?