Good Morning,
Currently 35 weeks pregnant and we are NC with my MIL currently due to how much she has hurt us. He partners mother texted me asking to let her know when baby is born. While I appreciate her reaching out as she is so sweet, I just don’t think we will be doing that as ik it’s going straight to MIL.
I am getting frustrated because the last talk I had with MIL was via text where I explained everything and instead of responding like a normal person she texted a Bible quote that was nonapplicable to the situation. (To explain what happened in short, she has thrown coffee on me while pregnant with my first, over stepped over and over again with our child, lied about us to family repeatedly, lied about my family to others, vaped while holding our NB, Kissed our NB when asked not to, called herself “mama,” to baby, and made fake accounts to harrass me with).
Since then we have had very sparse messages from her, but if she sends any it’s to let us know she sent something for our first born (mainly books).
Her mom (my GMIL) also texted me wishing me a happy mother’s day to which I wrote back to her thanking her and wishing her the same (no text from MIL). She asked for photos of our first born so I sent some, and she asked if she can send them to MIL, which I replied to her stating “I figured you would like to, I don’t have an issue with that.” (GMIL also does not know why we are NC with MIL.) MIL had painted herself the victim of “idk why they won’t talk with me.” And my husband and I don’t really want to tell GMIL our side of things as she is older and I really don’t want to stress her out.
GMIL also texted my husband telling him that he should be wishing his mom a happy mother’s day. He ignored the text as he is still upset with MIL and doesn’t want to respond telling GMIL why he wouldn’t be doing that, as I stated before she is older and he did not want to add more stress to her. She had texted him that his mom was so upset and missed him so much.
It is getting very annoying at this point as MIL is doing EVERYTHING, aside from acknowledging her actions and apologizing for them. She has put me through literal hell when I was postpartum with my first and I would still be willing to forgive her if she just wrote an actual apology. It drives me up a wall she is getting elderly people involved trying to have them get information from us when she is very capable of asking herself.
At first I thought “maybe it’s just us,” but when I talked with a sibling of hers they equated her emotional intelligence to that of a 12 year old. We even talked with my BIL who agreed MIL was in the wrong with everything. When she calls him asking why we don’t talk with her he tells her “you know why they don’t, they have told you.” It’s just so irritating that she has so many chances to reconnect and fix things, but decides to play victim instead.
Ok, thank you for coming to my Ted talk 😂.
Comments
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Ah, the missing missing reasons.
Honestly? Just tell GMIL. It sounds like she is stressed anyway, and MIL is using her as a flying monkey. Tell her as respectfully as possible, and have it come from DH, not you. Otherwise she may see you as breaking the family apart. If his grandma pressures him to make amends, he can tell her that won’t be happening. Instead of taking accountability and apologizing, MIL took it to the internet and other family members to manipulate. So you are all stepping back to focus on your peace.
She…threw coffee on you…and you were pregnant at the time? There would be no coming back from that.
Perhaps explain to GMIL that MIL has been told what she did, and what she can do to fix things but she refuses to. That’s all there is to say on the matter, you don’t want her to worry about it and you don’t want her used to try and manipulate the situation.
I suspect GMIL knows all about MIL.
There’s a post on here from years ago where a JNMIL threw coffee on a pregnant woman and it was enough to call the cops for assault, and it had enough legs that I believe she was charged? So, take a min to think on that, that what she did was bad enough that you can probably have legal grounds to keep her away and she won’t apologize or play nice?
GMIL deserves to know the truth. She is already stressed out by being forced in the middle since MIL recruited her to be her flying monkey. I’d just tell her and be done with it. I doubt she has too many illusions about her delulu daughter. She has to know she’s nuttier than a squirrel.