Hi. My (21F) boyfriend (20M) have been together for almost 3 years. I have not met his friends irl yet nor have I ever met them virtually (through games or whatever). This has been a problem of ours in 2023, and he told me that introducing me to his friends was something that never crossed his mind. He then invited me to their Discord server, but as I interacted with his friends, he told me that he wasn’t comfortable with me being in the server. For his comfort, I left. He never expounded on why he felt uncomfortable except for the reason, “Just cause.”.
Today, I opened up again about how sad I was about how I felt sad that I haven’t met any of his friends irl or that I haven’t hung out with any of them. He got mad and said I was just bringing up problems from the past, which I then replied with “Nothing has changed, it’s not just me bringing up the past because it’s still the situation in the present”. He got mad at me and told me that I complain too much. His friends aren’t the type of people who do shady stuff so this isn’t about him hiding something. He also told me that we should have our separate things, which for me doesn’t make sense because we DO have separate activities. Also, he knows ALL of my friends and has hung out with almost all of them. Btw, he hangs out with his friends a bit frequently (irl and virtually) so this isn’t about him being an introvert or anything.
I want to know, am I being dramatic? Does he have a point? Is this normal?
TL;DR: Haven’t met any of my bf’s friends. He got mad that I feel bothered by it. Not sure if I’m just being dramatic or what.
Comments
If there was something that bothered him which you could fix easily, how quickly would you fix it?
So how many friends are we talking? Is it like 2-3 close people he sees on occassion, or is it a huge group? How often does he hang around with them in real life?
I have 2 close friends that I meet once or twice a year in real life, otherwise we talk on line basically every day. My wife has never met them face to face. We’ve been together for almost 20 years. It’s not a problem for us. We have completely different universes between us and we don’t feel like combining them is needed and would benefit any of us, we’re also all kinds of neurodivergent between the 4 of us.