tl;dr: ldr couple in college that feels like we don’t talk as much
i (20f) have been dating my bf (23m) for over a year now. we met last year and things have mostly been fine, but he graduated last year and moved home to study for the lsat (we’re from the same hometown 2.5 hrs away from my school). honestly i love him and i love our relationship, we like a lot of the same things and puts in effort, and we have never run out of things to talk about even after how much time we’ve spent together.
but the thing is, when we first started dating and were at school together i would get upset because we wouldn’t hang out as much (prob about once every three days or so) when most couples i feel like would see each other at least every day, when this became an issue he told me it was because he wanted me to focus on my studies because i want to do pre-med and how he knows how tough it is and doesn’t want to distract me but also because he and his ex would hang out all the time and he thinks that’s part of why they broke up.
i chose to stay home last summer to be with him, but he was mostly studying for his lsat and couldn’t hang out often again (maybe like once or twice every two weeks and we would call about once a week). once i came back to college, we’ve called about twice a week or so regularly but he has still been studying for the lsat until this week so i haven’t said anything even when i felt like we weren’t calling much. but it always nags me that most ldr couples i know call each other once a day at the least, and on the day his exam finished i had to ask him to call first (which i can understand if he was tired) but he didn’t ask to call the following day either even though neither of us were doing anything and hadn’t called for a couple days before that. i’ve started feeling more and more like maybe this isn’t working. i admit i have some insecurities especially because he mentions how he used to want to hang out with his ex every day and even though i know i personally wouldn’t even be able to keep up with calling everyday, it still feels sad that i don’t have that option to say i’m too busy to call.
i’ve never felt that he neglects or doesn’t care about me, he texts me every day even when he’s busy and has never said no to a call and most of the time asks to call first, but i can’t help but feel like it’s more of a distraction to me that i have to wonder why he doesn’t want to call as often as we can. i’ve tried going to therapy recently about this to see if i’m just being petty and unreasonable but i just really would like some outside insight as well.
thank you.