Am I (20M) obligated to tell my GF (20F) whenever I drive anywhere?
Hi, I’ve been getting into a lot of disagreements with my gf lately. I let her know where I’m going, who I’m with, what I’m doing but if I don’t text her when I’m on my way, then she gets really mad at me and I feel like she doesn’t need to know that information, my mother doesn’t even ask me for that information. We’ve been dating for a year and are medium distance (3 hours apart). Am I in the wrong?? If not, what do I tell her? I could just give in and do what she wants but that kind of feels controlling to me
TL;DR – my long distance gf needs to know whenever i drive to/from somewhere despite knowing where i am / what im doing and it feels controlling
Comments
I’d laugh in her face if she said that to me. Tell her you’re not doing that.
To be honest that sounds incredibly annoying to me, why does she want that information?
No, obviously you don’t.
You can tell her that it feels controlling, and then just not answer her when she asks. But there’s a good chance she will flip out over it, or become controlling over something else, and you might not be a good match. You can’t MAKE someone be less controlling, you can only set your own boundary and see how the relationship progresses (or not)
It is controlling. Especially if she gets really mad over a little thing. You should give your partner an idea of where you are for peace of mind but not report back every hour
Good lord no. You live your separate lives. You don’t even live in the same city. When you talk to her at the end of the day or whenever you usually call to tell each other about your days, maybe you mention that you went somewhere with so-and-so. You absolutely do not need to be giving her a play-by-play of your day as it all happens. That’s insane, dude.
Have you ever asked her why? If someone is coming to see me from 3 hours away, calling when they leave is nice because I know I have 3 hours before they arrive to do whatever instead of just having to wait for them to show up.
No, you’re not. Living together is one thing, where it would be reasonable to tell your partner the reason you’re leaving. But you’re not in that position of commitment yet. I mean, if you have plans for the day, and expect to have delays in communication between you two, it’s not a bad idea to communicate at least a little about that. But it sounds more like she has trust/insecurity issues.
If you are going to see her, it’s reasonable that she wants to know when you’re on the way.
If you’re just living your life, she needs to take a chill pill. “Hey, that’s excessive to ask me. I’ll text you when I’m back/tomorrow, but not eveey step of the way.”
i think maybe its like a nice thing to do every once in a while to show youre thinking of her but youre definitely not obligated to and that a weird thing to demand
That’s extremely controlling
My husband tells me out of courtesy but by no means have I ever demanded that information. You are individuals and she sounds really insecure and immature. It’s almost like she doesn’t trust you or something.
You are not wrong. She’s controlling, immature and insecure. She needs therapy. You need a new gf.