We have been married for years now and we have always had “bedroom problems” due to his porn addiction, recently I had to use his phone and I saw my younger sister’s pictures in his gallery apparently screenshoted, and in another occasion he made a remark concerning my appearance saying I shouldn’t do a certain beautiful treatment cuz it will make me look like my sister and if he wanted that “appearance” he would have chosen her not me ( me and my sister have different features ) , and Lately I’ve been talking to my sis and wanted to show her evidence of his addiction, she stopped me when she saw a picture of a pornstar among the evidence I collected, and said : “he sent me her pic and said she looks like me ”
Am I the asshole for “finally ” having enough of him and losing all respect and almost all the feeling ?! And what should I do!
Comments
NTA. This goes way beyond a porn addiction, he’s actively fetishizing your sister. Saving her pictures and then telling her a pornstar looks like her is next level creepy. You’re not the asshole for losing faith, you’d be the asshole to yourself if you stay.
YTA-to yourself. Why are you still with this man?
NTA. Your husband is a complete scumbag. The fact that he’s comparing you to your sister and a pornstar is crazy. You are not being an asshole for “finally” having enough of him. You’re a person who’s had enough of being treated like a doormat.
Hey! I started over when I was 30, too! Now I am in a wonderful marriage. You should try that.
Wow you need to leave him asap
NTA. what the hell is wrong with him đź«
Weirdo that he is. Creeping up on your sister like that! Sisters before misters! You should really stand up for her. Cut your losses.
YTA
for still not leaving him and cutting all contact.
Sexualizing your sister, comparing you to her, sending her pics of pornstars that “look like her”? That’s sick behavior, straight up. Losing respect is the bare minimum. You owe him nothing at this point. Get out and protect your peace
INFO: you took porn from your husbands personal device to show to your sister????
Pretty sure faith is way out the window here. What in the goddamned fuck?
 NTA get this creepy weirdo away from your sister ASAP
The fact that you put up with these issues for all these years is amazing.
NTA not only is he sexualizing your sister but people underestimate porn addiction and the way it fundamentally alters the way people think, the way they see others, and their ability to have real intimacy. The porn addiction would be enough for me. But the fact that it’s now carrying into the way he sees your sister is the absolute nail in the coffee to end the relationship. He’s sick. Get out or you’ll have to keep dealing with this and things getting progressively worse.Â
Just divorce him he’s not a good guy
YWBTA to yourself and your sister if you don’t leave him.
why is it so hard for men to not be disgusting????they’ll throw their ENTIRE LIFE AWAY for 1 orgasm, or even 1 text to “shoot their shot”. fucking losers. leave him. you deserve a million times more than a broken dick porn addict pervert that’s creeping on your sister. Â run, girl
I mean how hot is your sister? J/K, yeah he needs to chill out.
Why in the world did you marry someone with this addiction and think things will work out?
NTA
Nta what a sick freak
Ewwwwwww.
Get his phone and delete those pictures, and then dump him. This is gross behaviour.
NTA.
What the hell is wrong with you, to many resources out here too say you can’t leave. Love yourself first . Get out and leave this freak.
My thought on this was when he sent the picture of the pornstar to your sister and said she looked like your sister. Why didn’t your sister come to you and show you that?
I think he needs counseling but I think you are not wrong to feel the way you do and if you don’t think it’s worth it and I have to admit after the text with your sister i don’t know as I would think it was worth it.
NTA get rid of him asap
…WHAT?
Op are you actually asking if you’re the bad guy for being mad that your husband wants to sleep with your sister…?
Of course you’re NTA
Wow… you accepted way too much already.
Find someone who isn’t an asshole and addict.
NTA you married a creep.
not the ahole some people carry to much baggage. He is old enough to know better.
Keeping her picture was enough. Sending her the picture — of a “pornstar” (side light: “star” is something we say that we don’t mean, porn actresses are treated like disposable commodities not “stars”) — was even further past any reasonable line.
Your partner needs to understand that his pornbrain and the way people think in that world are totally unacceptable in yours. You teach him that by moving on.
NTA at all.
Break up from him for not doing anything to deal with the addiction, this is caused by some other trauma that he found porn to help cope with. He needs to put in work but he hasn’t even accepted the fact that what he’s doing is even a problem.
Then break up from him for the line that he crossed by sexualising your sister and then having the audacity to tell her about it.
Then for the third time break up from him for thinking he can tell you what to do with your own body.
Tell him that you have a special surprise for him, the place you’re gonna take him to reminds you of him and cover up his eyes, drive him to the landfill, tell him to get out and open his eyes, then drive away.
NTA. Break up, this is beyond fucked up.
Why the hell haven’t you left him already?! The porn addiction isn’t going to get better.
Hell nah, thats gross as đź’Ż
Good cause for marriage counseling…which will finally give you the clarity you need to divorce this loser.
NTA.
NTA. Get out now. Today. Your husband is not just a pervert with a porn addiction he is actively sexualizing your sister, sending her unsolicited porn, and has her pictures on his phone. This is a massive, disgusting, and utterly unforgivable betrayal. This man is dangerous. Do not stay another second. Lawyer up, prioritize your safety and your sister’s
NTA. The porn addiction was already a massive red flag, but him actively creeping on your sister? That’s a whole different level of violation. And sending her porn saying “this looks like you”?? Your poor sister must feel so uncomfortable.
Since you mentioned you can’t leave right now – please start documenting everything. Screenshots, dates, any messages. Build your exit strategy quietly. Open a separate bank account if you can, save any money possible, reach out to support networks.
Also make sure your sister blocks him on everything and never meets him alone. This behaviour escalates. The fact he’s bold enough to message her directly shows he’s testing boundaries.
You’re not crazy for losing all respect for him. Any normal person would. Stay strong and stay safe while you plan your exit.